Mary Worth 835

"P-hew, Dad, your giant, bloated corpse really stinks."

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Mary Worth 834

I just love this panel. It's so sweet. Lonnie lies in a bed, sweating out the D.T.'s, and he gives Mike a little wave. It's sooo cute!

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Mary Worth 833

"Don't worry, Dad. Lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine." Poor Jenna.

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Mary Worth 832

"No, Dad, it's not too late! You abandoned me when I was 12 years old. You had no idea what Mom went through, God rest her soul! You drove her to an early grave, and you crippled me emotionally -- I can't even ask a girl out for a second date! You're so drunk you can barely take care of yourself. I've spent the last 25 years resenting the HECK out of you! I couldn't even mention your name without seething in hatred for you and your guts! But now that I know you were just off being a drunken vigilante, I am instantly full of compassion. Please come live with me. It will be so wonderful and heartwarming."

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Mary Worth 831

This story is delightful, combining all the best elements of the last two stories: Father/Son reunion from the Wilbur/Kurt story (only this time it is really happening!); and nursing a loved one back to life from the Dr. Adrian/Scott Hewlett story! Now if only Dr. Mike would put on an ice skating leotard and "keep it tight!"


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Blue Ridge Wanderers

The Wanders family decided to squeeze out one more holiday this summer so we climbed in our van and headed south. First stop was Kings Dominion amusement park where I was warmly greeted by Snoopy!

This was especially exciting for me, since many of you know that I love the Peanuts gang even more than I love Mary Worth. In fact, one of my three mottoes in life is, "If a T-shirt is worth wearing, it's a Peanuts shirt."

The day was beautiful, and the crowds were very light. The older kids had a great time on all of the roller coasters, while Mrs. Wanders and I hung out with our youngest. However, I was tricked into riding the Exterminator, or Denominator, or Terminator or something like that. My kids rode it several times. You can see it in the background in the photo below.

This coaster was so intense that I literally almost blacked out from the G-forces. I'm not joking. As we zipped around the first curve, everything started getting dark. Just when I thought I might black out, we pulled out of the curve. I mentioned it to my 15-year-old daughter afterward, and she said, "I know, right?"

The next day, we headed to Charlottesville to see Thomas Jefferson's home at Monticello.

As spectacular as Monticello was, and as much as we wanted to linger, we had bigger fish to fry.

While we had been planning this little excursion, I had said to Mrs. Wanders, "Isn't Charlottesville the big city that the Waltons were always headed to?" So we did a little research and found the real "Walton's Mountain" (or at least the hometown of the show's creator, Earl Hamner). We knew we had to visit!

We had to drive quite a ways to find it. We followed directions from a website that said not to use our GPS because we would end up on dirt roads. The town of Schuyler, Virginia, is a small town that seems to have seen better days during the depression. Back then, it was a company town of 7,200 where Earl Hamner's father worked at the Soapstone plant that employed most of the citizenry. These days there are about 1,200 people living there.

We visited the Walton's Mountain Museum, which was located at Earl Hamner's high school. It still pretty much looks like a small high school. We entered through the gym, and first noticed that the exhibits were stapled to the bulletin boards around the room. However, there were several more things to see, and they had actually turned the classrooms into various re-creations from the television show.

Afterward, we walked across the street and saw Earl Hamner's home, which had been restored quite nicely.

I won't take up your time expressing the range of feelings I had about our visit to Walton's Mountain (mostly a bit depressing). Let's just say, I still love the show. Our family is working our way through the DVD's watching it together on Sunday nights.

We got back in the car and had one more stop to make: Lumpkin's Restaurant and Motel.

I wanted to eat there, but my family informed me that just because a restaurant has a giant fiberglass statue of a cowboy or rooster outside, doesn't mean it is actually a good place to eat.

So, I suppose this officially ends our summer. I hope everyone has had a good one.

Mary Worth 830

Three lives when you consider that Mike can't ask a woman out on a second date. Four if you count Jenna. And I do. Perhaps the best thing would be for father and son to join forces and bring the killer to justice. Oh, sweet justice.

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Mary Worth 829

Gentle reader, there is an important lesson here somewhere about the bitter fruits of revenge. Vigilante-ism may look fun, but it is not. There is no joy to be found in getting so drunk on grief, anger, and whatever they serve in a highball glass these days that your shirt buttons come undone and your head spins itself right outside of your comic strip.

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Mary Worth 828

Is that what a vigilante is? A guy who walks around downtown, asking people if they shot his cousin? It isn't as glamorous as I imagined.

This is perhaps one of the best lines of dialog ever to come forth from the pen of Karen Moy. It is a day of celebration in the Wanders household.

You know what would be awesome? If Richie's killer was Jenna's father. Awkward!

Mary Worth 827

Clearly years have passed, and Lonnie has now reached middle age. If I'm not mistaken, the first vibration lines are starting to appear near his head.

Downtown Santa Royale has gotten so much nicer since Disney took over and kicked out the riffraff who were always seeking revenge.

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Mary Worth 826

How are the CSI guys going to reconstruct this one? "Clearly, the car approached from the west, passed the victims, made an illegal U-turn, and shot the victims. Then the vehicle pulled another U-turn, and drove off to the east."

"Wait a minute Lieutenant. Don't be so sure. The victims could have disapparated across the street just before they were shot, and then disapparated back across the street as the car drove away."

"Disapparated? Like in Harry Potter? That would be hard to do wouldn't it, if you'd been shot?"

"Maybe they used a portkey?"

Mary Worth 825

When a car comes speeding out of nowhere, it generally has one of two purposes in mind: run somebody over, or it's the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes team with balloons and a giant check. I'm going with the former on this one. Fortunately, Lonnie has a son who will grow up to be a great psychotherapist who can help him heal the scars of losing someone he loves. Mike's really good at that.

I haven't lost sight of the fact that this is still the Bonnie Johnson story. We are now enjoying a story (Richie dies), within a story (Mike's reconciliation with Dad), within a story (Jenna waiting by the phone), within a story (Bonnie collects things). If you're just starting to get into Mary Worth, this is a great time to start.

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Mary Worth 824

Lonnie Roberts: Pipe smoking family man by day, drunken hoodlum in mom-jeans by night.

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Mary Worth 823

Dr. Mike Roberts is so tense meeting his slovenly father that his entire head pulls and pulsates into different shapes as they talk. This is not uncommon. You may remember Kurt Evans doing the same thing. It happens when fathers and sons and pretend sons reunite.

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Mary Worth 822

"...That's not entirely true, Mikey; I was also thinking of my girlfriend, Barbara Thomas and her little girl Jenna. I married Barbara, God rest her soul, and we had 20 wonderful years before she passed. We raised Jenna together - we were the happiest family. No little girl has had a better father than Jenna. I wish you could meet her. She would love you like a brother."

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Mary Worth 821

Hey, dear readers, I'm sorry for bailing on you the last couple of days. I know I really let you down. I mean, Mikey's been going through so much. Changing back into his black mock turtleneck, returning to the bench of despair, and then out of nowhere stumbles Lonnie. Of course, he can't smoke his pipe anymore since having his lips surgically sealed. Which has helped both his weight and his heart. But it's Lonnie, and boy is he ever contrite! This is wonderful. Before you know it, Mike will be abandoning his own wife and children. I think it's time to give Jenna a call.

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Mary Worth 820

I don't know who Mary is talking with, but he definitely looks like a criminal. I'm glad his father could post bail.

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Mary Worth 819 (Spoiler Alert!)

Mary has traveled so many layers down into Mike's dream within dreams to perform inception, that it's doubtful he'll ever wake up. The faceless projections; the ceiling tiles coming down on his ever rising head; the shrinking doors; the Penrose corridor; the girlish "shoulder to cry on" line... if Mike doesn't kill himself quickly, I may!

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Mary Worth 818 (Spoiler Alert!)

Things I learned from Inception: A dream within a dream is very unstable. No wonder Lonnie falls to pieces. Also, only after we wake up do we realize how strange things were in the dream, like Mary practicing therapy on a therapist, or furniture in a room rearranging itself, or a lamp post transforming into a redwood tree. It's all so obvious to me now. Mary has entered Mike's dream to plant an idea. The idea that Mike should ask Jenna out for a second date. If Lonnie shows up and tells him, "I am disappointed..." that would be awesome. But disappointed in what??


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Mary Worth 817

Go ahead son, I'm listening:



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Mary Worth 816

He'll meet you in Founding Fathers State Park by a bench. You'll know the bench because it's near a lamp post where shadows lurk in different directions regardless of light source. Latitude: 34.4389, Longitude: -119. I'm sure you'll run into each other.

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Mary Worth 815

Fred, there's a woman you should meet.

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Mary Worth 814

Despite her tears, Jenna is so unimpressed with Mike's email that her pony tail retracts into her head like the electric cord on Mom's old vacuum.

Mary Worth 813

How reassuring it is that even a master meddler like Mary Worth can feel discouraged. It's up to God now... the only Being capable of exerting more influence in a person's life than Mary.

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