Mary Worth 3718

Estelle finally comes to her senses. The only reason this ever worked is because after being catfished by Arthur Zerro, she dropped her standards so low that even Wilbur could step over the bar. I mean, drunken noodles, anyone? But given enough time (two years!), Estelle has come to realize she's better off with just her cat.

Mary Worth 3717

Wilbur is confused because he thought she said she loves catfishers. Which she did.

Mary Worth 3716

I normally don't condone urinating on furniture, but in this case, Ha ha ha ha!

Mary Worth 3715

I hope Wilbur gives Estelle an ultimatum: It's Libby or me. I was wondering how these two were going to break up because clearly Estelle is willing to put up with a lot as long as Wilbur keeps feeding her.

Mary Worth 3714

I hope that for the piggies' sake, Libby's revenge includes a bucket of pig blood poured down from the ceiling.

Mary Worth 3713

So this story is essentially going to be the same as the Drew/Ashlee plot with Estelle as Ashlee and Libby as Shauna. And I'm okay with that.

Mary Worth 3712

Now this sounds very promising. But don't get your hopes up.

Mary Worth 3711

Never forget that this man writes a syndicated advice column.

Mary Worth 3710

Our 16-year-old cat, Storm, started howling a couple of years ago after her brother Sundance died. It's a mournful refrain, and the very last yelp sounds just like a baby crying. It usually means, stop ignoring me, or lift me up onto the bed, or carry me out to my dinner. We sing a lot in the house, but Storm never joins in singing with us. She isn't a dog, for Pete's sake.

Mary Worth 3709

Well, Drew is ready to move on for real it looks like. But me? Heck no. He hasn't eaten a single muffin. I was really, really hoping Ashlee was the one.

Mary Worth 3708

The agony, the despair. Get that man some muffins!

Mary Worth 3707

She also pulled at your Rolex. Maybe that's why you dreamt she pulled your arms 20 feet long - you were trying not to lose your watch.

Mary Worth 3706

Ah, the dog days of summer. Just what we've waited for. We endured girl fights, profanity, bizarre dreams, and at last we've finally arrived: Meddling on a Bench! It's why we're here. It's what we live for. Please don't let it end too soon!

Mary Worth 3705

"But I think a man should linger in loneliness, weeping quietly over what could have been. Oh, Mary, how I miss her. One time, she and my Ex started a fight where I work, and they both ended up punching me in the face. And, oh, the way Ashlee would say things like !@#$% and %$#@! in public. She was so honest, so unfiltered. She made me feel like I didn't even need my Rolex to prove my worth to the impoverished patients at The People's Clinic."

Mary Worth 3704

Dinner probably wasn't as comforting for the lamb you just ate.

Mary Worth 3703

"It's too painful for My Son to talk about, but I'm sure he wants me to talk about it with everyone at the hospital where we work."

Mary Worth 3702

I hope it wasn't the whole story because I could use a lot more Stretch Armstrong dreams, girl fights, and trailer park shame.

Mary Worth 3701

I spent quite a while before this morning's sun came up, trying to figure out what lesson Drew could have possibly learned. I think the answer is, "Don't go out with all the women who throw themselves at you." Drew deserves a greater challenge. Perhaps his receptionist. She seems to understand pretty clearly that Drew is an idiot.

Mary Worth 3700

I'm back. Shauna's back. All is right with the world.