Mary Worth 2462

Yeah, I've been working on my liberal arts degree for seven years. I'm hoping to get a job at Jerry's one day, and move in with some old lady who will take care of me.

Mary Worth 2465

This reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from The Office:

Mary Worth 2464

You know Cafe is one of the hippest off-campus hangouts because it is surrounded by millennials glued to their texting machines, and carrying backpacks full of participation trophies.

Mary Worth 2463

Maybe Tommy can zero in on some bible verses that might help his mom with these new and exciting feelings.

Mary Worth 2462

On this blessed Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful that today's comic strip has ruined my appetite, thus saving me from consuming thousands of unnecessary calories.

I join Mary and friends from years past to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

Mary Worth 2461

Maybe Tommy can teach Iris's new boyfriend to shave.

Mary Worth 2460

At first, I thought that was Wilbur tapping her shoulder because, you know, it would be too obvious, even though there hasn't been a moment of doubt in Wilbur's mind that might signify a change of heart because in the Worthiverse who needs logic. But then I realized the hand is in excellent shape. If that were Wilbur's hand, it would look more like this:

Mary Worth 2459

Wait. Does the sequence of these two panels suggest that reading the Bible is like a TSA screening?

Mary Worth 2458

The top five world conquerors:

1. Alexander the Great
2. Attila the Hun
3. William the Conqueror
4. Charles the Great
5. Wilbur the Advice Columnist

Mary Worth 2457

Relationship advice from Dawn Weston. If your bond is strong enough, the longer you're apart the better. Where's Mary in all of this? Are we to assume that an entire week has past with no meddling? Mary is leaving Dawn Weston to do her job?

Mary Worth 2456

I'll agree that a year can feel like an eternity, even when nothing has happened. For instance, one year ago today:

Clearly, there have been changes, but I'm not sure I'd say a lot has happened.

Mary Worth 2455

"Sure, Dad, I'll be fine. Just keep paying the rent while you're gone. Have fun. TTFN."

Mary Worth 2454

There's really only two ways this can end, Wilbur. You either successfully extract yourself from the Worthiverse and Iris never sees you again, or the Syndicate discovers your plot and you end up in the "Dip."

Mary Worth 2454

 

Be careful that you know what you're doing, Wilbur. Once you leave the Worthiverse, you can never go back. Also, there are fewer women in the real world who are inclined to date an overweight comic book character. 

Mary Worth 2453

Well played, Wilbur. Well played. The first step in a successful Worthiverse extraction is to sever all emotional ties. It must be done in a such a way that former loves and family do not come looking for you for at least a year. This means they need to believe that they broke up with you. Well played, indeed.

Mary Worth 2452

Of course, none of us can blame Wilbur for running away from his life. But I get the feeling that something far more devious is up his sleeve. I believe Wilbur has found a way to extract himself from the Worthiverse and access the real world. Of course, he has to cloak his language to ensure the King Features Syndicate doesn't suspect anything. If the Syndicate starts to believe he could extract himself, they will have no recourse but to take punitive measures, like killing him off, or worse, marrying him to Iris. Parse his language carefully over the next few weeks. He may be sending us secret messages, seeking support and asylum.

Mary Worth 2451

This sounds a lot like Adam Miller wanting to spend all his time with that congressman. Maybe Wilbur thinks it will turn out just the same.

Mary Worth 2450

That car appears to be going into some sort of skid. Don't drive angry, Wilbur. Don't drive angry.

Mary Worth 2429

Whether intended or not, perhaps the most effective break-up line ever spoken.

Mary Worth 2428

Do you remember when La Rosa used to be charming, before the big corporate take over? Lots of changes since 2008, and they aren't all for the best:

Mary Worth 2427

He was in Japan for four months, but it seems he never communicated with his daughter while he was gone. Or his girlfriend. Probably because Japan is so far away. I mean, how could they have possibly communicated? It takes months for a letter to cross the Pacific on a sailing ship.

Mary Worth 2426

Wait, that's it? Here's a casserole, see you in a year!? Where is this headed? Please do NOT let this be a year-long story about Wilbur traveling the world in search of other people's adventures. If it is, I'll see you in a year.