Mary Worth 3755

 

"Dear Wendy, my girlfriend dumped me, again. It is the second time I've been dumped twice by two different women. I'd like to set a new personal-best and get dumped three times, but to do that I need to convince her to take me back again. How do you recommend I go about it? - Sincerely, Karaoke Slim"

Mary Worth 3754

Carol, if you keep holding your phone with your fingers on the screen, you may accidentally hang up on someone. You need to lean your phone on three fingers like Wil-<click>-bur...

Carol's to-do list:

• Block caller 
• Find new dog park 
• Find new dog beach 
• Find new pet store

Wilbur's to-do list: 

• Get new chick magnet

Mary Worth 3753

Aw, yes, Dawn's John Waters phase. And Wilbur's prize from the county fair pie eating contest.

Mary Worth 3752

Don't worry, Wilbur. Time wounds all heels.

Mary Worth 3751

I did this to a woman once, and she ended up marrying me. I'm just saying, you can recover.

Mary Worth 3750

Wilbur is really struggling without his chick magnet. It was Carol who suggested not bringing the dogs to dinner. Perhaps she knew it was her kryptonite, and the only way she could break free of Wilbur's diabolical scheme was to separate him from his frenchie. Hopefully today her "Um" will be more effective.

Mary Worth 3749

Carol must really be hungry to still be sitting there.

Mary Worth 3748

Most people use the phrase "My Ex" with bitterness and scorn. Wilbur uses it as if he's speaking about his dearly departed grandma, who never slowed down, even when she got really old and senile.

Mary Worth 3747

I'm sure Carol Rebound would much prefer to listen to you sing along than to hear you blabber on about your "Ex."

Mary Worth 3746

I'm not very familiar with Southern California idioms, but here in Philly, we just say, "Yo, it's a karaoke joint."