Floating Head Jeff has been really working out!
Looks like somebody got a new phone for Christmas. If you are looking for a new phone, with no contract, and lots of affordable package options, here's a little link to a new company we just signed up with for my son: Republic Wireless. Use the link and get a $19 credit. We're getting our family off of our Big Carrier contract and we've really been happy with this service. Okay. End of commercial. Back to Mary, the texting addict.
Congratulations to Joe Giella and Karen Moy for a perfect Christmas greeting. I must say today's strip really worked for me. Just a note, however; the children at the shelter represent the diversity in most communities in this country, so let's move forward with a wonderful holiday and a joyous and prosperous New Year.
Well, things are certainly looking up for Mary Worth. I'm sure Jeff is enjoying her letters in Vietnam.
It's concrete, Mary. Concrete. Not cement. It's the Concrete Jungle. But if you weren't so obsessed with the Beauty of Nature, maybe you'd know that.
You want nature? Why don't you head down to Chef Pierre's and visit your old friend, John Dill. I'm sure he's got a whole room frosted in a nature motif featuring hundreds and hundreds of images and figurines of you as Mother Nature.
"Hello, Toby? This is Mary Worth calling from New York City. I want you to do me a favor. Break into Jeff's house while he's in Vietnam. On his desk there's a big box of fund raising leads written on 3x5's. Mail the box to me here in New York. I have a feeling my friend, Shelly Cohen, isn't going to have any problem exceeding her goals."
Okay, I have just one question: Why did Shelly's BOSS, call her at HOME to ask her to do something that is already part of her job description??
Speaking of Grand Historical Properties, I'm glad to share tonight with you! Ha ha ha ha.
As Shelly, in her vestments, leads the little minions in prayer to Mary Worth, it is reassuring to note that this crazy new religion doesn't have many followers based on the number of empty chairs.
P.S. Could someone please explain panel 2 to me?
Wha...? No long introductory speech? I really was hoping for a more honorific introduction. "Our first award recipient came to Promise Haven after her friend Mary Worth encouraged her. Mary had known hardship in her youth, but even without the support of our marvelous institution, she was able to lift herself off the street and into a wonderful condominium. But most destitute youth are not as resourceful as Mary Worth, and that's where Promise Haven comes in. Do we have any black people here tonight? No? Well, if we did, I'm sure they'd want to tell you the difference our award recipient's hugs have made in their lives. She's hugged a lot of black people, and I believe even a few Hispanics. Is that right? Yes, I knew it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Shelly Cohen! ...Shelly, why don't you come up here and read a list of names."
What a grand night it will be for all the celebs when Dear Old Shelly Cohen steps behind that classy microphone stand and reads her list of people to thank. "The louder I say your name, the more grateful I am for you!"
Banquets at the Waldorf are a cut above. Blond lady is actually ordering from a menu. I assume the 700 other guests will as well. So about the time Shelly finishes reading her list of names, the salad plates will be cleared. Hopefully.
It's a good thing Mary is there to help Dear Old Shelly Cohen keep the proper perspective. If Shelly starts sharing the award with others at The Haven, it would only mean less glory for Mary.
Wha....?? Is Shelly getting some sort of reward for something or other? It sounds familiar, but I guess I haven't really been paying attention.
What kind of award is this? She is a STAFF MEMBER! I have been employed in the nonprofit sector my entire career, I've exceeded my goals, and not to brag but I've been pretty committed. And I've never gotten an award. I've gotten a paycheck. Just like Shelly Cohen gets every two weeks. And if she doesn't meet her goals, there's going to be some explaining to do. Staff members don't get awards, unless they are retiring. Is she retiring? Because what staff members do is GIVE awards to people they want to get more money or free volunteer labor out of. That's what staff members do. No self respecting nonprofit organization is going to spend money on an award to a member of its fund raising staff!
Now, I don't know much about fashion, but even I have to ask, "What is Joe Giella thinking?" Two such humble ladies would never wear cloaks with this much allure.
Based on the Elbert Hubbard quote and Dear Old Shelly Cohen's thought balloon, it is clear that Shelly now thinks of Mary in the same patronizing and pitiful way she thinks of all the Promise Haven hobos.
Having spent some time on the street, I learned how important it is to shop. And to be recognized publicly for being a good person. Trophies with your name on them are especially important, and a good reason to go shopping at upscale retail stores like Lord & Taylor. Also, it is extremely important to have your chin napkin artfully placed on your chin when you go shopping. Aw, the lessons of the street. Some things you just can't learn any other way.
I'm glad to see Napkin Dispenser is back on the table. I was worried that they wouldn't be able to wipe their invisible food from their chins. Also, is a stick of butter really the best choice for a restaurant?
Dear Old Shelly Cohen doesn't have EVERYTHING. She doesn't have a HUSBAND. This plot is about to take off. At least until you read panel 2.
Gosh it's good to have time to blog again... I had a very long week and weekend.
Assuming Shelly Cohen was a young widow of 45 when she came to the Haven, and Dr. Smith was still 16, that would place their ages at about 30 years apart. Based, on his appearance, I'm guessing that Dr. Smith is now about 55 to 60. That would make Shelly Cohen nearly 90 years old. She really is Dear Old Shelly Cohen.
