Mary Worth 3579

This story could take a very exciting turn if Greta leads them across the freeway.

Mary Worth 3578

Eve has an old hamper of Max's dirty bandanas, and Saul asks Greta to sniff his leash? I don't know. Maybe that would work. But I'm starting to feel like this story might not be very realistic.

Mary Worth 3577

I love that Eve tries to justify Max's behavior with an explanation that in no way contributed to his fear of thunder or his decision to run out into it. No, Eve, he ran out into the thunder because he's a stupid dog. He saved your life "several times," and so you think he is a rational creature, but he's not. He's a dog. He got scared and made a stupid choice. The real question is, how did Gary fail to kill you over and over again?

Mary Worth 3576

Max, realizing that Charterstone is improperly grounded, is up on the roof with Mr. Allora installing a lightning rod in a thunderstorm. He has saved Eve's life once again.

Mary Worth 3575

Holy cow, that's quite a storm. Better not leave the door OPEN LIKE THAT! It would be horrible if one of your sofa pillows blew outside and GOT LOST!

Mary Worth 3574

Thunder sounds like gunshots? I don't know. Maybe we should make a scientific comparison...

Well, I'll be... they sound exactly the same!

Mary Worth 3573

This month, my wife and I have been watching all the Marvel Avengers movies in "time-line" order. We've always been a bit confused by the Avenger movies because we missed a few, but now everything is coming together for us. We are over halfway through, and we may even accomplish our goal to finish by the end of the month. We can LEARN FROM THE AVENGERS! One thing I've learned is that it doesn't hurt to repeat key plot points for those of us who missed something the first time. Mary Worth has learned this lesson well.

Mary Worth 3572

Yes! Max got his third dimension back and he is adorable!

I want to hear about all the times he saved Eve's life, though. Not just the one time he took the bullet. Like the time Gary tried to push Eve off the cliff, and Max caught her by the neckerchief but went over with her and cushioned Eve's impact by landing underneath her. Or the time Gary tried to run Eve over with his car, and Max shoved her out of the way and got run over. Or the time Gary tried to drop a giant anvil on her from the second story window, and Max caught it in his mouth and crushed his skull. You know, those times.

Live Stream with June Brigman

Today at noon eastern, June Brigman will be interviewed at Kennesaw State University where she teaches at the school of Art and Design. For those who missed, this link may work:

Mary Worth 3571

I'm still not used to Max's constantly shifting size, but now I just don't know what to think. Were his legs amputated? Was his third dimension extracted? How much more must this mutt endure?

Mary Worth 3570

If you were more like a dog, Eve, you wouldn't think about your murderous, tripping husband and cry all the time. Live in the now. Be like a dog.

Mary Worth 3569

Because vets never ask about how your dog got shot.

Mary Worth 3568

June, I'm not sure when Karen Moy sent you this dialogue, that she meant it literally. But thank you.

Mary Worth 3567

But what if The Now never ends?

Mary Worth 3566

Bad stories can be hard to escape as well. Fur-tunately, this isn't one of them. I'm raising the woof because this has been the ulti-mutt tail! I ruff it!

Mary Worth 3565

But have you found a dog therapist that Max is comfortable with?

Mary Worth 3564

Holy Faulkner! What the Hemmingway is wrong with these people?? Who talks like this? 

I think it's time for a Google Translate Turnaround. 

The languages I pick are: English to Finnish to French to English. 

 And the results are: 

Saul: Your apartment is plentiful everywhere for you and Max. 

Eve: We love our space. My husband had a lot of things, but penniless was not one of them. 

It isn't worse.

Mary Worth 3563

If you mix the salmon, carrots and chow up and bake it in a bread pan, you could bring it to the next pool party and call it "salmon carrot bread." I'm sure it will be a hit at the next pool party.

Speaking of pool parties... is it time for another one? Has this story ended? It seems like it is over. I for one, am ready to move on.

Mary Worth 3562

Beyond the confusion caused by Saul's pants saying that he's prepared salmon, and Eve's pants calling Max a girl, I want to better understand Santa Royale's obsession with salmon. It seems to be everywhere. It's almost as if there are just three food groups: Seafood, greasy diner food, and muffins.

Mary Worth 3561

That is true, Saul. Still, I liked you more when you were grumpy.

Mary Worth 3560

I woke up this morning and realized I hadn't even thought about Mary Worth for over 48 hours. I feel bad. But it was also a sweet relief. My emotions are complicated this week, but at least I'm not triggered by every man wearing a business suit. If I were, I would definitely stick to the woods on my walks.

One of the reasons I forgot about Mary Worth is because this came in the mail with art by June Brigman, and I am absolutely enthralled:

Mary Worth 3559

Speaking just for myself, I'm glad Gary Lourd is dead. And I cannot see him winning the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award this year. I'm writing the Condo Board right now to make sure that doesn't happen.

Mary Worth 3558

I almost didn't recognize Eve without her nerkerchief. But this explains a lot. Ultimately, they end up beheading each other, but Eve is able to reattach her head using a scarf, which is why she always wears it now, and why headless manaquins make her cry.

Mary Worth 3557

Saul didn't get as big a laugh at his broken-hip joke as he expected.

Mary Worth 3556

I am really looking forward to this story! It's gonna be good. As you know, I live in Philadelphia, and there have been so many great movies made here. Why am I expecting this one?

Mary Worth 3555

Wow! It is definitely a good thing that Saul is still a "young stud" because he just caught a falling 175 pounds with his forearm and wrist. I'm sure he will have no problem relocating her shoulder either.

Mary Worth 3454

Eve, be careful! This is how people fall in love!

Mary Worth 3553

C'mon, Eve. Show some Philly pride! She could really take lessons on hometown smugness from Hugo Lambert.

What's the big deal? You can see a few Philly Phamily Photos here!

Mary Worth 3552

Speaking as someone with a 215 area code, great T-shirt idea: "Philadephia: It's nice enough."

Mary Worth 3551

Why do I feel like Saul is trying to freestyle? And why am I so excited?

My eyes have bags
I'm hanging with hags
But I've never been a low ridin' hoodlum.

My lady she's cryin'
And sniffin' and sighin'
But this other lady lays out the wisdom!

Okay, I'm gonna stop. But you don't have to.

A very special thanks to Yahoonski and Leslie for their donations to "the Santa Royale Rehabilitation Fund." I will use it to help Saul learn to freestyle.

Mary Worth 3550

The green clouds of California smog really add a lot of beauty.

Mary Worth 3549

No, no, Eve... your delivery is all wrong. I would have killed with your material. Killed.

Today might be a good day to start a Mark Trail blog. If you stopped following because the art is now crap, you were wrong.

Mary Worth 3548

Maybe she should try Hare Krishna.

Okay, okay, I can see I'm going to have to explain this joke. In the Muppet Movie (1979), characters kept getting lost, or using the word lost, and everytime anyone said "lost" someone else would say, "Maybe you should try Hare Krishna." And finally Kermit says, "Good grief, it's a running gag."

Which is exactly how I'm feeling about this strip's nonsensical and repeated recylcling of the classic Jerry Seinfeld quote, "It's not you, it's me."

It's been a rough month, I don't have much of a sense of humor I guess.

Mary Worth 3547

Whew. I was worried that today's strip would just be about talking about doing something (see panel 1) instead of something actually happening. And then something happened! It looks like the next seven days we will get to hear all about Eve's feelings. Make yourself comfortable on that bench, Saul! You asked for it.

Mary Worth 3546

I find it ironic that Karen Moy is writing a male character who doesn't understand a female friend's emotions, all the time thinking that the male character would actually care.

Mary Worth 3545

Never forget that Saul and Greta are eating chicken for dinner. Green chicken.

Mary Worth 3544

What if Eve is dead because she wouldn't let Saul take her to urgent care?

Mary Worth 3543

Saul, do you remember when your old dog (Tanya? Olga? Eunice?) died? Do you remember how you felt? That feeling is called, 'sadness.' It is an uncomfortable feeling, but usually does not require medical treatment unless it becomes a chronic symptom. I liked Grumpy Old Man Wynter a little better than Sensitive New Age Saul. Old Man Wynter was funnier. Although this is pretty funny, too.

Mary Worth 3542

You can't take any chances at your age? You took her to an indoor mall for lunch where no one is wearing a face covering and you just handed her your own handkercheif to wipe her tears and nose with. I get that the author has decided to keep the strip COVID free, but at least don't put characters in situations where the rest of us are cringing at everything they do. Although, I guess... we were cringing before COVID, so what's the difference?

Mary Worth 3541

Bravo Helen Clark, KitKat and others who predicted that the headless manaquin would remind Eve of her late husband. Many years ago, I had a choreographer who was decapitated when his car went under a truck. It was a horrificly brutal and traumatic experience for his wife. She was in the car and it was said she tried to put his head back on his body. There was nothing funny about it, until the character Creed Bratton on The Office told Michael Scott that it was exactly how his boss had died. Everytime I see that episode, I feel guilty for laughing so hard. And now, every time I walk into a department store, I'm going to feel equally guilty.

Mary Worth 3540

UHNN... It's called a necktie. They're very common. But if you put one on Greta, she'll probably strangle herself to death.

Mary Worth 3536

Hey, you two, your dogs aren't with you, so you don't need to wear your matching tie and kercheif, at least for a few hours. These two have all but abdicated their free will to their mutts. You better believe you're going to make it up to Max, Eve. And it's going to be brutal, and it's going to be rough - no pun intended.

Special thanks to Mary, Jim and Brian for their recent donations to the blog! Thanks so much.

Mary Worth 3538 and the Panel of the Year Runoff Results

Well, I'm glad to see that Saul doesn't put off birthday shopping until the last minute.

This morning I woke to all kinds of news about the Runoff Vote. Every headline. I had no idea we had garnered this much media attention, but today is the day that we announce the winner.

As a reminder, the two leaders in our original Worthy Awards Panel of the Year category were separated by only one vote, forcing a runoff between:

My Water Dish is Empty

And...

Take This Onion Ring

 Again, this has been an incredibly close vote. Our winner had 50.6 percent of the vote. Which comes to a 16-vote lead after 1,236 ballots were counted. Very close, but still, under the Charterstone Condominium Association Rule 58a (II)c (1997 edition), close enough to declare that the 2020 Panel of the Year is...

My Water Dish is Empty

These are definitely divided times. I feel a civic duty to unite and heal. Those of you who felt the Onion Ring was best, will be deeply disappointed. Those of you who were moved by the compassion of a thirsty wiener dog, must now apply those same feelings of compassion toward those with whom you disagree. Santa Royale is a special place, and it is time to come together, white middleclass WASPS and ... and ... and ... See, it is true that in Santa Royale, we share more similarities than differences. The Worthy Awards celebrate winners as much as losers: Losers like Toby, and Ian, and Wilbur. Put down that foil wrapped chunk of cobbler, stop throwing muffins, and sit on the sofa with your cup of Sanka and just... relax.