Thursday, January 31, 2008

Mary Worth 106

Oooh, he's a self starter. That's always an excellent reason to start dating your new boss. And if he can speak in doltish, dramatic non sequiturs so much the better.

Maybe this is exactly what Drew needs to get him to move on with his life. This, and maybe one of those donuts nailed to the counter behind him.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Mary Worth 105

Vera is the most passive aggressive girl friend I've ever seen. Yesterday it was, "You know I don't like surprises." Today it's, "As if we don't see enough of each other already." In other words, "Get lost bub." I can't tell who Vera is trying to make jealous, but someone is being played. "Ryan Harris, meet Drew Corey, Doctor Drew Corey. And he really knows how to dress."

Monday, January 28, 2008

Mary Worth and Me 104

Vera seems only to be attracted to losers. Maybe she just has trouble seeing past their sylish clothes.

Drew "Fresh Start" Corey's fist is clenched in fury. Watch out, Ryan, or you might get your hair mussed.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Southwest Florida has no sense of humor!

Here's a bit of all-too-familiar news from Southwest Florida:

'But there's good news: We're keeping all the Sunday and weekday Comics you're accustomed to, except "Annie," "Cathy," the "Humble Stumble" and "Mary Worth..."'

Read the complete story here.

Mary Worth 103

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Willem Dafoe.

Now, I admit that there are many things that I can write about this strip, and many things that I'm sure will be written about this strip on the Tawdry Internets. But in keeping with my commitment to keep Mary Worth family friendly, despite Karen Moy's and Joe Giella's efforts to the contrary, I'll simply say that if Vera isn't engaged to her brother Von, that he looks close enough to still creep me out.

If Drew had only known how much Vera loves the color yellow, he might have had a shot. The only man better dressed is Christopher McLucky Magill the Ginormous Leprechaun in the top panel who's about to get a swift elbow to the groin.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mary Worth 101

"Now, Vera, stop talking. No, don't say anything. Be a good girl and let me define the relationship. Ah, ah, ah... no, I said, 'Don't say anything.' Quiet.... quiet.... shhhhh.... shhhhh. There. Gosh it's good to be a couple again, isn't it? No, don't answer that. Just nod your head."

I love that Vera has called Drew up just to dump him again. It felt so good the first time.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mary Worth 100

Yes, yes, YES! I absolutely LOVE it that "Waiting for a Star to Fall" is THEIR SONG. I just got all giddy when I read this! It's new information. It makes sense, since Drew was the only man to teach Vera "how to really see the stars at night." And I love that Vera doesn't seem to be too thrilled at the coincidence that a song that gets absolutely ZERO air time on the radio these days just happens to be playing on the Junction Road Cafe jukebox. But guess what, Vera! It is now playing on the "Charterstone Jukebox" in the right-hand column of this blog as well (click play to enjoy Drew and Vera's song). Now we can all listen to YOUR song as we enjoy Mary Worth every morning -- and watch you suffer through your alleged relationship with Dr. Drew Corey!

I loved this morning's strip. What a great way to celebrate my 100th Mary Worth post. Speaking of which, thank you dear reader for your kind indulgence of my joyful obsession.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Mary Worth 98

I admit, at first I was confused wondering why the door of Junction Road Cafe seemed to be talking to Vera Shields as she approached. Then, of course, I realized that sight of another blond pony tail had confused me. I had forgotten how popular blond pony tails have become in Santa Royale. The real action was happening inside, where Vera had just cut in on the women taking numbers, just as Drew said she would. I thought he was speaking metaphorically, but he was being quite literal.

I'm not sure what Vera is doing to Drew. It could be a kiss, but she seems to be sucking her lower lip deep into her mouth, which may qualify as her best attempt. As to Drew's baffled expression, surely he's not surprised to have a woman throw herself at him. He is, after all, a handsome cartoon doctor who lives with his dad.

I would also like to point out that in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. day, the artist has attempted to draw his first black man in years. Sadly, the sixth grader who colors the cartoons didn't get the symbolism and colored him pink. That's too bad; we almost had some diversity in Santa Royale.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Mary Worth 97

Drew's pink vanity is the perfect place to dream of love.

This confirms what I've always suspected: Dr. Drew Corey lives with his dad at his father's cabin in the suburbs.

As the excitement of this climactic reunion continues to build, I become more and more hopeful that Vera is pregnant and the only thing she wants from Drew is a monthly child support payment.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Mary Worth 96

Drew looks like he's about to burst into song about himself, and would that really be so surprising? I'm glad to see he's still the same ol' Drew we've come to despise, and he's come to love. Two women start to mock his circa 1965 exercise clothes (a la Jack LaLanne), and he naturally assumes they want him bad. But I'm trying to figure out the metaphoric symbolism of the guy pruning the tree with that saw... I'm not exactly certain, but it sure does make me wince.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Mary Worth 95

You're a smarter man than me, Dr. Drew Corey; I have no idea why she's called you. Maybe to return your tuna fish shirt. Or perhaps to let you know she's pregnant with your child. But if you're imagining for half a second that she somehow wants to hook back up, well, then, all I can say is, "Same ol' Drew..."

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Mary Worth 94

"If by 'set things right,'" Drew replied manfully, "you mean 'make out,' then yes, I can squeeze you in at 3:30."

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Mary Worth 93

I really appreciate that the writers decided to do away with the obligatory panel where Drew's phone rings and he says, "Hmmm. I wonder who that could be?" when we all know it is Vera. However, they kept the line where he says, "This is a surprise!"

So Vera is sorry that she couldn't trust Drew after he two-timed her for a college co-ed? Am I to assume that after six weeks and an unexpected phone call from Vera, that the relationship is now totally fixed and Drew and Vera are, like, totally hooked up? Or did Drew just get his "runner's high?"

Monday, January 14, 2008

Mary Worth 92

Oh my freaking stars!! I did not see this coming. I know Mary forcast that we hadn't "heard the last of the Drew and Vera story!," but it is too soon. Too soon!! Please kill me now! Not another six months of Drew Corey. Please, please, please, by Grabthar's Hammer, please spare us another six months of Drew Corey. I mean, what has happened since we last saw the Love Doctor "showing the stars" to Vera Shields?? Mary found a dog and returned it to his owner. It took six weeks to tell. Last year, the Drew and Vera story lasted Six MONTHS. Six stinking months!! Okay, four and a half, but it felt like years!

I do have to admit, though, the Surprise Quotient on this one was very high, ranking almost up there with Dawn's slap and Aldo's crash!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Mary Worth 91

Chester can FLY?? Maybe, Mary, if you'd known Chester could actually FLY, you'd not have parted with him quite so easily!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Mary Worth 90

What part of 'No Thanks Are Necessary' don't you get, chump?Thus, another exciting Mary Worth Adventure reaches its startling conclusion! And what have we learned? Saying thank you is not necessary. Thank you Mary Worth for reminding me not to say thank you. Wait. But, uh, no, wait... what do you say, Mary, if you feel, er, thankful?

With a climax like this, is there any question why this cartoon is so dang popular?

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Mary Worth 89

So, Vinny "The Brain" DeSoto turns out to be just some nice guy from Modesto named Thomas. Nothing nefarious; no foul play; and most disappointing of all -- based on the way he's dressed -- there will be no big reward. Poor Mary. All that work caring for this guy's dog (favorite scarves destroyed, rump injuries), and the best she's going to get is a free meal at Applebee's where Thomas is a short order cook.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Mary Worth 88

As if how Mary Worth feels about this man matters. But, of course, I forget that Mary controls the universe with her omniscient powers of meddling.

You think Dr. Jeff Corey was jealous of Chester? Wait until Mary falls for his owner Vinny "The Brain" DeSoto. I'll bet Jeff won't be so tough when Mary turns moll to a wiseguy with a dog.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Mary Worth 87

I know I shouldn't be so uncomfortable with the whole touching thing...

...touching is part of the human experience. We touch our faces, our friends, people who are trying to eat... it is part of who we are... but, I'm just not comfortable with today's cartoon. Especially when Toby does the old butt crack thing with her palm against her face. That always gives me the giggles. I'm going to go shower now.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Mary Worth 86

Somewhat attached? Somewhat? I'd be surprised if Mary Worth doesn't have some trick up her sleeve to send Chester's owner to doggy heaven to find himself a new pet.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Mary Worth 85

I admit, I've been vacationing in Vegas so I haven't been posting a lot of Mary Worth blog entries, but I did meet many shady characters there. However, none were as shady as Vinnie "The Brain" DeSoto who has called to claim his dog, "Ralphie." To prove the dog is his, Vinnie asks Mary to get "Ralphie" to perform a trick.

Just the kind of cold blooded trick you'd expect from Vinnie "The Brain" DeSoto.

Unique? Uh, okay. Unique enough at least to convince Mary that Vinnie is on the square. Now, all she needs to do is meet Vinnie at some abandoned pier and collect the "reward."

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Not-A-Real-Contest Winners!

As Mary interrogates Vinny "The Brain" DeSoto about his alleged dog, "Ralphie," I thought I'd take a moment to announce the winners of our Not-A-Real-Contest. It's a three-way tie! Drak, Birdie and Wili, leave a comment and let me know what song you'd like to add to the Charterstone jukebox. Of course, it goes without saying that the Condo Board has final approval of all jukebox songs, so just keep that in mind! Especially you, Wili, who appears to be truly the most frightening resident of Charterstone ever!!