Thursday, January 31, 2013

Mary Worth 1,520

How much time is left on the 6-hour clock?? How long did it take to make all those tiers?? How many ovens were they able to use?? How long did it take a cake that thick to cool enough to frost? How long does it take the frosting to dry before you can safely add the pièce de résistance, Mother Nature Mary?? These are the questions I have. You can't just assume I know everything about cake baking and will understand what's going on. You have to explain it to me.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Mary Worth 1,519

Hey, look over there! It looks like something is going on at the convention center. I hope the heavy traffic doesn't make John Dill late for his cake making contest at the Comfort Inn.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 28, 2013

Kennedy Center Honors the Original Cast of Star Trek (I hope)

In my mind, my brother was never a geek. In fact, he was the cool one. But he has started this petition to award Kennedy Center Honors to the surviving cast members of the original Star Trek.

Each year the White House grants Kennedy Center Honors for lifetime contribution to American culture. STAR TREK'S surviving original cast members, William Shatner (Captain Kirk), Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock), George Takei (Mr. Sulu), Walter Koneig (Mr. Chekov), and Nichelle Nichols (Lt. Uhura), are very deserving of this honor. STAR TREK premiered in 1966 and has become an unparalleled phenomenon, continuing to spawn motion pictures and television spin-offs. At the time of its release the series was not only groundbreaking as science fiction entertainment, but also socially, promoting racial equality in a time when it was still a new idea. Nichols played television's first African American female in a significant role. Takei played an Asian American role that was free of stereotype.

I was the geek, so heck yeah, I'm going to sign the petition! And you should too because if you ever read this blog, you are probably a geek too. Just click this link and log in to register to sign the petition. 

Mary Worth 1,518

Uh oh. This does not bode well for the cake carrying portion of the competition.

Thank you to Thorpnotized for this informative study in cake competitions:

Today's Full Strip

Friday, January 25, 2013

Mary Worth 1,517

Well, now we know why the cake is pink. They're using pink cake tins. That makes sense.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Mary Worth 1,515

This story keeps getting better and better... the plot has deftly evolved from two old people entering a cake decorating contest for youngsters, to two old people who have to carry a cake on local television, thus building dramatic tension and probable comedy high jinx all at the same time!

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Mary Worth 1,514

Ah, yes, the dreaded cake carrying portion of the competition. Contestants are required to carry their creations across the balance beam of youthful ambition, through the tunnel of innocent dreams, and down the slippery slide of childhood innocence, all while avoiding the pit of burning old tires, and the low hanging branches of antediluvian abandon. I can see why Mary is nervous.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 21, 2013

Mary Worth 1,513

Gee, Mary, don't you think you might be too old to make a cake? I mean, that's really a younger man's sport.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Friday, January 18, 2013

Mary Worth 1,511

C'mon Mary! It's already perfect! At least your side of the cake is. John's side of the cake is nothing more than a few unicorns and a corn cob.

I for one am going to really enjoy 2013, watching John and Mary practice making this genius cake over and over and over again.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Mary Worth 1,510

The contest's theme is The Beauty of Nature, and John's cake, The Evolution of Man, addresses the theme perfectly as a human arm rises from the pink primordial sludge after having invented the wheel.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Mary Worth 1,509

Just a timely reminder that we are a family friendly blog. No matter how lewd and coarse this strip becomes, we will always maintain a higher standard. Prurient and salacious innuendo will not be tolerated.

Thank you,

The Condo Board

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Mary Worth 1,508

It's almost cute to watch John Dill try to assert his authority over Mary Worth. Maybe if he sang her this song...

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 14, 2013

Mary Worth 1,507

Mary really has her heart set on first prize. It's as if she's been "prepping" her entire life for this moment. But she may be surprised to learn that the competitive cake designing community is a very broad based, devoted and supportive community. I've been doing some online browsing of cake competitions and forums, and I've learned two things: One, Cake decorators aren't out to "win." They're out to design really cool cakes, and to support one another; and two, team entries are rarely allowed!

But go team Dillworth!

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Mary Worth 1,506

Whenever Mary Worth starts talking about her compulsion to help others, I can't help thinking of the greatest monologue ever written. For those of you who weren't reading Mary Worth in 2008, you will really enjoy it. Heck we all will. And I'm so glad to learn that Blonde Jeff has the same compulsion. I'm hoping that he has his own monologue to tell.

Today's Full Strip

Friday, January 11, 2013

Mary Worth 1,505

Judging by his car, I believe Jeff is now fund raising for breast cancer awareness.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Mary Worth 1,504

After driving a day, a night, and a day (panel 1), Jeff and Mary continue to discuss her involvement with John Dill. And in so doing, Mary makes perhaps the boldest New Year's resolution ever. Mary Worth, meddler extraordinary, will limit herself to one good deed for the entire year. However, this being only January, she will either fail miserably or this will be one heck of a long story.

By the way, thanks everybody for your fun feedback on the Worthy Awards. And thanks also to those of you who threw a few donations into the tip jar. As for those who felt cheated by Chin Napkin's loss, I can only say that we have such high expectations for Chin Napkin, and this year he just didn't measure up. But please don't boycott the sponsors. In fact, please patronize the sponsors as much as possible. The Worthy Awards are expensive! So much gold painted plastic on those loving cups.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The 2012 Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentleman, Loyal Readers, and Citizenry of Santa Royale! Welcome to the Fifth Annual Worthy Awards, broadcasting to you live and in living color from Santa Royale, California, just outside of Goleta!

Tonight the stars come out to shine as we celebrate the outstanding achievements of 2012 in the popular serial comic strip Mary Worth. There's a lot planned for this special evening, and the condo board has been working harder than ever to make sure this evening is as fantastic as ghost pie!

So without further ado, let's get things started with an exciting opening musical number.

Each year, we begin our honors with a special tribute to a Mary Worth character who died during the course of the year. This year, the coveted Worthy Award for best dead character goes to Jim's dead sister Merry!

Congratulations, Merry! Enjoy your trophy in heaven! You will live on in Jim, and creepily, in his girlfriend as well.

And now, dear readers, your votes have been counted. Thousands of votes were cast this year, making the 2012 Worthy Awards our biggest ever (with a special thanks to Josh at the Comics Curmudgeon for encouraging everyone to vote).

The nominees for OUTSTANDING PROP in 2012 are:

Mary's Big Computer

Big Rubber Finger

Chin Napkin

Jim's New Arm

And the Worthy Award goes to: 

Jim's New Arm

Congratulations to Jim and his new arm. It's been a well liked arm and is working out really well. Plus, it's helped Jim suppress his moody dark side.

Guest characters play a special role in Mary Worth. Each year, several strangers wander into the story and steal our hearts as Mary Worth meddles away their sense of independence and self esteem. And now...


Magical Hobo

Nola Wolvenson

Emily Smith from Goleta


And the Worthy Award goes to:


This is one-armed Jim's first Worthy Award. It's true -- he may not have won Dawn Weston's heart, but who among us could resist the charm of a wanna-be Aquaman afraid of the ocean.

This year, profanity played a special part in Mary Worth. A very special part. Never before had we seen four symbol words used so prolifically (or even at all). But this year, people were swearing all over the place. Each time an obscenity crossed the lips of one of Mary Worth's guest characters (never would an established character use such language), we had a heightened sense of the tensions that drove each person toward their ultimate destiny.

The nominees for OUTSTANDING USE OF PROFANITY in 2012 are:

Dan Smithers

Nola Wolvenson

Wayne the Kidnapper

Cruise Ship Passenger

Cruise Ship Captain

And the winner is:

Cruise Ship Captain

Or is that Curse Ship Captain? Ha ha ha ha.

Mary Worth's established characters provide a sense of continuity in Santa Royale. Often observers of the Worthiverse around them, from time to time, established characters rise to play a pivotal role in the chain of events.


Mary Worth

Wilbur Weston

Dawn Weston

Jeff Cory, M.D.

And the winner is:

Wilbur Weston
Oh my gosh! This is Wilbur's third Worthy in a row! Wilbur Weston THREEPEATS!! It's never been done before! He's bigger than Tom Hanks. He's bigger than Spencer Tracy! He is bigger than Tom Hanks and Spencer Tracy put together!! 
And now, all Mary Worth stories are made of moments we never forget: 

The nominees for OUTSTANDING PANEL of 2012 are:

Jim "Bob"

Our Social Order

Reminds me of Dave

Gina in the Sky

And the winner is:

Reminds me of Dave

Really no surprise here whatsoever.

And now, the moment we've all been waiting for:

The nominees for OUTSTANDING STORY of 2012 are:

Woo-Hoo Bobby

Whatever Nola Wants

Kidnapped! (or Free Ice Cream)

Life is Brutal
And the outstanding story for 2012 is:

Life is Brutal

And so, ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you for your votes. Thank you for your daily comments. Thank you for your wonderful support of this outstanding comic strip. Each day is a new adventure, or at least a new sentence in an adventure. If you call decorating a cake an adventure. And that's what makes Mary Worth great. When I wake in the morning, I know two things: The sun will rise, and there will be a few more sentences in the current Mary Worth story. And that's what keeps me going.

But no matter what happens, we'll always have Mountview.