Friday, September 30, 2016

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Mary Worth 2404

Yes, Rome wasn't built in a day, and sometimes comics take a long time to draw. It's understandable if you cut a few corners here and there...

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Mary Worth 2403

"Hi, I'm Tommy. I'm addicted to opiates.


"Hi, I'm Iris. I'm Tommy's mother."

"Uh... Hello, Iris..."

Friday, September 23, 2016

Mary Worth 2402

Federal law requires pharmaceutical advertising to list side effects, so to protect the Syndicate, here's a list from the magical makers of Suboxone:

Possible side effects of SUBOXONE Film
SUBOXONE Film may not be right for everybody. SUBOXONE Film can cause serious side effects, including:
  • Respiratory problems. You have a higher risk of death and coma if you take SUBOXONE Film with other medicines, such as benzodiazepines
  • Sleepiness, dizziness, and problems with coordination
  • Dependency or abuse
  • Liver problems. Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these signs of liver problems: Your skin or the white part of your eyes turning yellow (jaundice), urine turning dark, stools turning light in color, you have less of an appetite, or you have stomach (abdominal) pain or nausea. Your doctor should do tests before you start taking and while you take SUBOXONE Film
  • Allergic reaction. You may have a rash, hives, swelling of the face, wheezing, or a loss of blood pressure and consciousness. Call a doctor or get emergency help right away
  • Opioid withdrawal. This can include: shaking, sweating more than normal, feeling hot or cold more than normal, runny nose, watery eyes, goose bumps, diarrhea, vomiting, and muscle aches. Tell your doctor if you develop any of these symptoms
  • Decrease in blood pressure. You may feel dizzy if you get up too fast from sitting or lying down
Tell your doctor about any side effect that bothers you or that does not go away.
These are not all the possible side effects of SUBOXONE Film. For more information, ask your doctor or pharmacist.

Selected Safety Information
Common side effects of SUBOXONE Film include nausea, vomiting, drug withdrawal syndrome, headache, sweating, numb mouth, constipation, painful tongue, redness of the mouth, intoxication (feeling lightheaded or drunk), disturbance in attention, irregular heartbeat, decrease in sleep, blurred vision, back pain, fainting, dizziness, and sleepiness.
This is not a complete list of potential adverse events associated with SUBOXONE Film. Please see Full Prescribing Information for a complete list.
To report negative side effects associated with taking SUBOXONE Film, please call 1-877-782-6966. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Mary Worth 2400

"Exactly! And I was caught in front of Mama, so that was very shaming. And so for the last week, I've been experimenting with heroine. Which has helped a lot. No more pain; no more shame."

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Mary Worth 2399

"Yes, you can tell I am a smart doctor because I'm in the middle of reading a book. Can I help you with something? I'm trying to read here."

Monday, September 19, 2016

Mary Worth 2398

I'm loving the Worthiverse Reboot! A hospital that isn't Mountview?? Cray-Zee! I'm gonna miss the days of doctors with diplomas from the Barnum and Bailey Clown College.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Mary Worth 2397

Given that you and Mary stood there while the doctor prescribed opiates for Tommy and didn't say a thing, I wasn't even sure you remembered that he was a narcotics addict. A mother's love is undying...

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Mary Worth 2394

Wouldn't it be wonderful if simply by calling the magic number, all your problems went away? Sadly, Iris, it doesn't work like that. Trying to make all his problems go away, is how Tommy got into this mess in the first place. Calling the helpline will force him to face his problems, not avoid them. That being said, please remember that if he doesn't call the support number, it is his choice, and not something you can control... wait a minute. Am I taking this story seriously? I think I need to take a break and come back when I don't care so much.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Mary Worth 2392

Why do I have this strange feeling that this strip suddenly took a turn for the believable?

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Mary Worth 2391

Uh oh! Tommy just got busted, and his mommy was there to see it. How humiliating. And now she's going to talk about Tommy with Mary Worth. Those two enablers will really have a lot of judging to do.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

Mary Worth 2390

The boxes on the selves are labeled [scribble]. The magazines are titled [scribble]. Even the computer font is Scribble24. The only word in the pharmacy not scribbled? Viagra. Why? Because if there's one thing this strip understands, it is that Sex Sells.

Friday, September 2, 2016

Mary Worth 2389

Tommy is really driven. Even Mary's meddling has not thwarted his game plan.

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Mary Worth 2388

If your 1984 Chrysler K-Car station wagon breaks down on the way out there, it really won't be much savings at all.

Okay, this is coming from a man who drives a 1993 Oldsmobile. With 23,000 miles on it. Yes. That is not a typo.