Thursday, February 28, 2019

Mary Worth 3076

Chin Napkin! Thank you, June.

You know, Estelle, you don't have to go out with everyone you meet online. In fact, it is probably a good idea to be a little bit discerning before you say yes. Unless of course, you're just in it for the food, and then by all means, go to town.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Mary Worth 3074

I think this is embarrassing for both of them. Clearly, Estelle is going to have to start lying about her age and looks so she doesn't have to eat dinner with men who are willing to settle.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Mary Worth 3072

Estelle, I think you're in for a whole lot of wonderful surprises.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Mary Worth 3071

Stop grinning, Libby. You're creeping me out.

Mary Worth 3070

I forgot to hit publish on yesterday's blog entry, so with apologies for tardiness, here it is:

Already Google is serving up online dating sites on my blog... My revenue is definitely going to go up because online dating sites clearly have a wonderful array of possibilities. I don't know much about online dating myself, so maybe I should write a book about it. Or at least a comic strip.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Mary Worth 3069

I wish I were as confident as Mary that this will be a great love story.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Mary Worth 3067

Meanwhile, while they're busy dancing on the couch, the pasta pot is scalding on the stove and the oven curtains have caught fire.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3066

"All of it? Even the thing about being an old dinosaur who could never inspire anyone?"

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Mary Worth 3065

Of course, if Jannie actually did have real feelings for you, then falling for it would have been okay.

I really want to commend Karen Moy for her portrayal of the worst, most dysfunctional marriage I've ever seen. Every day, one of these two morons says something that makes my jaw drop even further than the day before. This is "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" kind of stuff.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3063

Oh, she has feelings for you, Ian. She feels you're a silly fool, a pompous old man, and a drunk, neglectful husband. Oh wait, the last one is how Toby feels.

Monday, February 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3062

"Toby, dear, why did you move the oven in front of the window? The glass is constantly fogged up and the drapes will catch on fire. Why don't we put it back in the kitchen where it belongs."

Friday, February 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3061

"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Mary Worth 3060

You're going to have to stop sculpting miniature ponies and painting clowns. Try being more like Banksy.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Mary Worth 3059

That's funny, Mary... I've been reading their minds for weeks. It's almost been too easy.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Mary Worth 3058

Ouch, this hurts. In 1997, Volkswagen released its New Beetle and I was smitten, mostly for sentimental reasons. It took a few years, but in 2002, I bought a 1997 model in Ian Cameron Red. At first, I was a happy driver. But very soon, the love waned. The first problem was that the cup holders were under the dashboard without enough clearance to insert a can of soda without having to tip it far enough that it would spill. The car was mostly plastic, and over the years, pieces began to break and fall off. Sometimes, the electric windows would spontaneously open, and in the last few years, they'd open whenever you unlocked the car. Sometimes the electric systems would cut off, killing the engine and (dangerously) the power steering. When a couple of friends heard that I was going to junk it in 2015, they'd ask if they could buy it. I asked why, and they both said it was for their teenaged driver. I told them no, I didn't want to be responsible for their child's death.

So now I learn that I drove the same car as Ian for over 13 years. This is a very depressing day for me, but at least I was smart enough never to drive it on a bicycle path.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Mary Worth 3057

In previous fantasies, the words were the same, but the tone was very different.

Ian, you just described your marriage.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3056

It's the people who care about you the most who have the courage to speak the truth.