Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Mary Worth 84

Leaving a Voice Message 101: In this course students will learn to wait for the beep, to state their name, and to leave a NUMBER WHERE THEY CAN BE REACHED!

Someone doesn't want their dog back.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Mary Worth 83

I deliberately ignored Sunday's strip, but a couple of things do need to be reviewed before enjoying today's delightful installment. First, Mary Worth's right buttocks still throbs:
And Second, Mary owns an answering machine:

And as for this moring, I only wish Chester had thought balloons:

So I am pleased to announce the First Ever Mary Worth and Me Not-A-Real-Contest: If Chester could think, what would he be thinking in panel two above? Give it your best creative effort. The winner of this Not-A-Real-Contest will receive bragging rights and be able to pick a new song for our Charterstone Juke Box. I'll announce the winner on January 2nd!

*Note: This Not-A-Real-Contest is not a real contest.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Mary Worth 82

Oh, my stars. He chews one scarf and barks at a chihuahua and suddenly Mary is filled with doubt about her capacity to care for the dog she stole. Mary, I'm not fit for dog ownership either, and our dog chewed everything and puked all over the house on a daily basis!

And, again, what is it with your right buttocks? You are really fixated on it. So much so that you're starting to draw unwanted attention from the leader of the Vipers there. If I didn't know what you were thinking, I'd say you were coming on to him. And I don't think he has the same power that I have to read your thought balloons.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Mary Worth 81

That's right, Mary. Chester doesn't really belong to you... oh, wait. That's not what you mean. You're dismayed that Evil Mary Worth has blamed you for the altercation. Well, Mary Worth, I'm sure once your Evil Twin is done meddling in your life, you'll be blamed for a whole lot more than just getting your leash tangled.

And, Mary, what the heck is wrong with your buttocks? I don't mean to pry, but is it an Old Lady Thing? Because suddenly, it seems to be throbbing.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Mary Worth 80

This panel proves that the laws of physics no longer apply in Santa Royale, California, and I'm more convinced than ever that time and space have conspired to introduce Evil Mary Worth and her little chihuahua to Charterstone from a nearby parallel universe. Because Mary and her evil doppelganger are dressed so similarly (if you look closely you can tell them apart because Mary is wearing slacks, and Evil Mary is wearing a skirt), I'm sure the switch will play out much as it did in Start Trek, Season 1, Episode 5: "The Enemy Within." Heaven help Dr. Jeff Corey.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Mary Worth 79

I've been struggling all morning to comprehend this panel. Mary apparently attempts to restrain Chester from barking silently at the chihuahua. Meanwhile, Mean Lady recoils her retractable leash and dangles her dog in the air like some sort of doomed piƱata.

I can see a number of ways this story line will develop, but they all end up with Mary baking a pie.

Edited to add: And who is this dark-haired lady? Could it be Evil Mary Worth from a parallel universe that has suddenly crossed through the time-space continuum? In our dimension, Charterstone is a simple condominium apartment building full of bumbling simpletons. In the other, Charterstone is an asylum for the insane, and Evil Mary Worth is some sort of Nurse Ratched who rules the roost with electric shock therapy instead of tuna casserole.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Mary Worth 78

Something is coming! And it looks like trouble. From yesterday's Saturday strip:And something is still coming and it still looks like trouble! From today's Sunday strip:
Is Mary Worth about to take on the timely topic of dog fighting? To learn the facts on this cruel blood sport, click here. Now you'll be informed as you enjoy the next few weeks of Mary Worth.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mary Worth 77

Don't get too excited about this blatant attempt at foreshadowing. In Santa Royale, adventure can be used to describe many things. Barking at a cat. Observing a bird in its nest. Making a new friend at the park. What we shouldn't expect is Mary Worth abducted by jewel thieves who throw her down an abandoned mine shaft where she discovers a lost treasure and then is rescued from rising subterranean waters by Chester at the very last moment.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Mary Worth 76

Okay, so I was wrong about the sofa color, but Chester is on the couch, and he does talk: "Woof." Mary is actually reading out loud to her dog. I love that Mary has managed to meddle while deferring her authority to the experts, whose pictures I presume are on the back cover of her book. Spot and Boots (of animal hospital bequest fame) are the leading dog psychology experts. They wrote the book, so to speak. Woof.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Mary Worth 75

Whew - one copy left! And thus Mary Worth brings meddling to a whole new level. Animal meddling. Today's strip is the funniest strip in the paper! I laughed and laughed. And I can't wait to see Chester lying on Mary's fuchsia sofa whimpering about his puppyhood.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Mary Worth 74

Or it could be that Chester IS A DOG!! Dogs destroy stuff all the time. Get used to it, or take him back to New Country Road and leave him there, which (if I'm reading Mary's expression in panel two correctly) is exactly what she plans to do.

Could it be that Mary is finally beginning to think the dog might be happier with its REAL owners instead of trapped in her clutches at the Charterstone Condominium?

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Mary Worth 73

This will teach Mary to run off with Dr. Jeff Corey and leave Chester the Dog behind. Never again, Mary Worth, never again.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Mary Worth 72

Judging by the fish skeleton on his plate, it is clear that the waiter has eaten the first fish off the wall and is going after the second.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Mary Worth 71

"Yes, all the people you advise... like One Fish, Two Fish here."

I always assume when the word balloons are coming through a window, that the people are talking so loudly that they can be heard outside. I love that Jeff and Mary are shouting about a dog in a restaurant.

Jeff, deal with it. Mary loves the dog more than you. And she doesn't care what you think.

Salt Lake Tribune Comic Survey

Dear Readers, please fight to keep Mary Worth in the Salt Lake Tribune. I expect all four of you to take this survey!

She's been killed in the Washington Post, the Houston Chronicle, and several others! Why? Why? It's the funniest strip in the paper!

Take the survey. You can vote for a new comic, and your three least favorite. Leave a comment begging them to keep Mary!

Monday, December 3, 2007

Mary Worth 70

"Since Chester has come into my life, Dr. Jeff Corey, you mean as much to me as this insignificant waiter whom I have callously ensconced behind my word balloon. Get used to it, Second Fiddle."

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Editor's Guide to the Comics

by Kieth Herrell
Cincinnati Post

It has been well documented (boy, has it ever) that newspapers are facing hard times. But it had not occurred to me until recently that not all is well in comic-strip land, either.

Click here for the rest of the article.

Mary Worth 69

Now, I just know Jeff doesn't keep a change of clothes at Mary's so where the orange suit and striped shirt came from will remain a mystery and probably has something to do with the Dharma Initiative.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Mary Worth 68

Say what you want about Jeff Corey's green suit of anger, I like his attitude!