Tuesday, May 31, 2022

Mary Worth 3922

Whaaaa? Their fight only lasted one day? Well, maybe I underestimated these two and their willingness to ignore red flags in their relationship.

Monday, May 30, 2022

Mary Worth 3921

Jared was really cool yesterday when he asked "Dawnie" if she thought the gorilla was cute, but now his ketchupless french fries have cast him into a pit of gloom and he suddenly goes all caveman on Dawn. Of course, when her own food metaphor is under appreciated, Dawn jumps down into the pit of gloom with him and pukes on his shoes.

It's good to know that neither of these two monkeys have changed much despite two years of complete bliss.

Saturday, May 28, 2022

Mary Worth 3919

I dated a lot of different women before I met Mrs. Wanders. I would say I am more on the Jared end of the spectrum than I am on the Hugo end. And never ever have I dated a woman who spent the date staring at other guys. Dawn, I don't know what kind of person you are, but you surprise me. You're almost as bad as a man!

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Mary Worth 3917

Two years?? Really? Two years? And yet, you seem to be exactly the same couple as the last time we saw you two years ago!

This is one of those rare instances when the Worthiverse timeline intersects with the real-world timeline, and things can get confusing. Let me explain:

In March 2020, Dawn and Jared fell in love. But she was still in love with a Frenchman named Hugo. She decided to dump her hot French boyfriend because he liked French versions of things better than American. So she started dating her quirky, hot-in-a-nerdy way, clumsy friend, Jared. Then she thought her father died. And now here we are.

In the real world, in March 2020, the earth stopped because of Covid-19, and we are just now returning to normal. Does that help you understand?

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

Mary Worth 3916

And there will be no other men there for Jared to be jealous of. None. No chance. This isn't setting up anything, I'm sure.

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Mary Worth 3915

When Dawn said, "Look at those baboons," I didn't read it as, "Oh, look. There are the baboons." I seriously just read it as, "Jared, you are a baboon."

Monday, May 23, 2022

Mary Worth 3914

I feel like the end of the movie Groundhog Day when Bill Murray exclaims. "It happened. Today is tomorrow." No more Cal, no more Helen, no more Toby and Ian kissing (ewww).

So we know that Dawn and Jared will break up soon, but I'm trying to find the Vegas odds on whether or not the break up will be permanent.

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Mary Worth 3913

If baking muffins were a disease, it would be called mariworthyitis. And I am not so sure it isn't a real disease. She's making obscene batches of muffins, week after week.

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Mary Worth 3911

First of all, Ian, you don't "Try Out," you Audition. Secondly, you're going to need to learn the actor's spelling: Theatre, not theater. Thirdly, I want to see you do Shakespeare soooo badly, so, YES please audition for the theatre. And if it is a devoted husband role you want, you'd make a wonderfully racist Othello.

Tuesday, May 17, 2022

Mary Worth 3908

Ian, not used to being kissed at home, decides exhibitionism must be Toby's thing, and he's okay with that.

Monday, May 16, 2022

Mary Worth 3907

So... Helen lost her job? Did Ian flex his status as a UNIVERSITY professor and report her to "school management?"

Sunday, May 15, 2022

Mary Worth 3906

And just like that, Cal is so grossed out that his hormones have been shut off. Well, not shut off - just redirected. You go, Cal.

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Mary Worth 3905

For those who are interested, the USC yearbook is called El Rodeo, which is Spanish for The Detour. Which is funny to think of your four years of undergraduate study as a detour in your life.

I have no idea what Helen might have learned since her conversation with Ian was private, but I am sure it was dramatic and meaningful.

Friday, May 13, 2022

Mary Worth 3904

"I'm so happy to meet your grandfather, Ms. C. Would you like me to sketch him with my keen eye?"

Thursday, May 12, 2022

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Mary Worth 3902

This is true. Anyone else would set him straight. He is adult man who knows you are his married college professor. But of course, this is Mary Worth and the Worthiverse of Madness, where the right thing to do is always the wrong thing to do.

Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Mary Worth 3901

If it doesn't work, I guess you'll have to start dating Cal. By the way, why did you take off your wedding ring?

Monday, May 9, 2022

Sunday, May 8, 2022

Mary Worth 3899

This is the most interesting panel of today's strip. Well, not exactly. Toby's story is fascinating. It's just too bad that we skipped it.

Saturday, May 7, 2022

Mary Worth 3898

Awesome. This is one of the best fizzled endings I can remember. So much potential. So thoroughly unsatisfying. I live for this. Wow. I don't know what to say. It's almost as though Karen Moy was working on her best story ever, and she suddenly got bored with it. No confrontation between Ian and Helen, no confrontation between Ian and Toby. It's as though something got skipped and will perhaps be published out of sequence next week.

Friday, May 6, 2022

Mary Worth 3897

"Oh, dear," is right Mary. Toby has said this without a trace of irony. Mary is kind of shocked by all of these revelations, but we never got to see Ian tell Toby any of this. She apparently wasn't phased. I'm glad we didn't have to sit through a boring confrontation scene.

Wednesday, May 4, 2022

Mary Worth 3895

I'm sure glad we didn't have to sit through Ian's shifty explanation of all this. That may have been more drama than we can handle. Best to just tell us about it after the fact. It is always appreciated.

I haven't been following any of the Brad Pitt trial against his wife, wait, no, I mean Johnny Depp, but when I saw this on YouTube, I did have to click...

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Monday, May 2, 2022

Mary Worth 3893

That's what men are for, Toby, but how exactly did he do it? I certainly hope he didn't resort to violence.

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Mary Worth 3892

True photographs are one thing, Ansel, but what about vague comic strips when no one knows what is going on? I don't even remember what this story is about anymore.