Saturday, January 31, 2015

Mary Worth 1978

Unfortunately, you need a license to get married, otherwise Joan the Waitress is an ordained minister and would be happy to perform the ceremony right now.

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Friday, January 30, 2015

Mary Worth 1977

I've had a few friends who were widows and widowers. Remarrying is one of the greatest challenges of their lives. Not just the decision to remarry, but also understanding the fact that their new spouse is not a replacement for their deceased spouse... to say nothing about the challenge of being the new spouse. It can be a really difficult transition. Sometimes it hasn't worked; but sometimes, if they hang out for a few weeks at each others' apartment building, it can succeed gloriously!

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Thursday, January 29, 2015

Mary Worth 1976

"Heh heh heh... you joker... that's not important to me. Cough cough."


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Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Mary Worth 1975

Now, let's not jump to conclusions. A lot of things happen at City Hall that these two could be happy about. They could just be happy that they don't need wheelchairs and can actually climb down the non-ADA-compliant stairs; although, by the looks of their footing, they may need wheelchairs soon.

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Monday, January 26, 2015

Mary Worth 1974

I don't know what a bottle of "Spark" is, but I think we're getting subliminal messages here. Hanna and Sean just watched a sickening romantic movie "based on a book." Arguably, the most sickening romantic writer these days is Nicholas Sparks, who's book "Message in a Bottle" was adapted for the screen in 1999, starring Buttercup, Elliot Ness, Butch Cassidy, and Hagrid. I don't know... maybe it isn't sickening. I mean, according to Rotten Tomatoes, a staggering 32 percent of critics actually liked it.

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Friday, January 23, 2015

Mary Worth 1973

I have no idea what movie they're seeing, but clearly it's a HUGE hit with the coveted 45-60 demographic!

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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Mary Worth 1972

When I Googled "movie with happy ending lifts us up takes us away," I got several listings for Blade Runner, which suits Sean just fine, but I'm not sure it is what Hanna had in mind. It's the classic chick flick dilemma. Sean will take her to see Mommy because he wants a goodnight kiss. But he may want to reconsider getting more serious unless he really likes boring movies.

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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Mary Worth 1971

Medical clinic and a matinee: The perfect date for Hanna... but poor Sean. His girl friend just invited herself to his urologist appointment. Maybe if he sinks lower into his piano bench, he can just disappear.

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Mary Worth 1970

Well, the story of Hard Hearted Hanna and her deteriorating eyesight, dysfunctional daughter, inconvenient grandson, surrendering her license, searching for a shuttle, texting an elderly man, and drinking coffee has wrapped up so nicely. There certainly aren't any more questions to answer. As Toby and Mary conclude their denouement, we can look forward to a wonderful new adventure by Monday. I for one will never look at an elderly driver the same again. This story started while my wife and I were on vacation in Hawaii last September, and it is definitely time for another visit.

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Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Seventh Annual Worthy Awards

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the SEVENTH ANNUAL WORTHY AWARDS! Santa Royale's elite have gathered to celebrate the best of all things Mary Worth. But most importantly, the Condo Board has tabulated YOUR votes -- thousands of votes -- to determine this year's outstanding achievements.

But to get things started, what awards show would be complete without an OPENING NUMBER! Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for the Edsels and their 1961 smash hit Rama Lama (Hanna) Ding Dong!

Each year, we begin by awarding the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award to one lucky Mary Worth character who died this year. And so we are thrilled to present the award to Olive Taylor who -- wait, I'm sorry, what's that? It seems Olive was saved at the last minute by Mary Worth and has failed to qualify for the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award this year.

That means that this year's prize goes to our runner up, the patient that Doctor Kapuht lost on the operating table. Congratulations! Just think, Olive. It could have been you!

And now, on to our awards.

The nominees for outstanding performance by a guest character are:

Jerry, the Owner of Jerry's

Bad Doctor Kapuht, M.D.

Olive Taylor

Hanna Dingdon

And the Worthy goes to:

Bad Doctor Kapuht, M.D.

He killed a patient, and he abused the hospital's heroine supply! By all means, let's give him a prize!

The nominees for outstanding performance by a floating head are:

Angel of the Pool

Bad Doctor Kapuht, M.D.

Tommy Two-Tone

Wilbur Weston: Too Big for One Thought Bubble

And the Worthy goes to:

Wilbur Weston: Too Big for One Thought Bubble

There's always room for Wilbur Weston, no matter how tight the squeeze!

The nominees for outstanding performance by an established character are:

Dr. Jeff Cory, M.D.

Mary Worth

Toby Cameron

Ian Cameron

Wilbur Weston

And the Worthy goes to -- ladies and gentleman -- this is a complete surprise!

Ian Cameron

Ian Cameron: Ah wisnae expectin' thes at aw. Is it alrecht if Ah make a speech? First aff, Ah want tae thenk mah brammer guidwife. Withit 'er support, Ah ne'er woods hae hud th' coorage tae return tae th' strip. Mah skitin' kept me frae bein' able tae utter a single line. An' when Ah finally got behin' th' wheel ay a motur, Ah nearly got in a wreck. If eh'd hae burst Hana, aam sure eh'd hae gain tae jail as mah bluid toxicity level wisnae guid. But aam aicht days sober, thenks tae th' support ay mah bonnie guidwife, an' th' meddlin' ay Mary Worth. An' Ah hiner an' pray 'at Karen Moy will gezz meh anither chance! Ah willnae lit ye doon.

Thank you Ian... Thank you. You may return to your seat. No, this way. Yes, we're all very proud of you and hope we get to see much more of you in the future. No, that's fine. You keep that. Just follow this lady back to your folding chair. That's the way.

And now, the nominees for Panel of the Year are:

Angel of the Pool

Flower Fairies

Bad Doctor Kapuht, M.D.

The Skin of its Teeth

Tee Hee Eddie

Tommy Won't Work for Me

Dive! Dive! Dive!

And the Worthy for Outstanding Panel of the Year goes to:

Dive! Dive! Dive!

The panel of the year is always a fan favorite, and usually features some sort of nudity, so it is a real thrill that tonight, modesty has prevailed!

And now, the moment we have all been waiting for, the nominees for Outstanding Story of 2014 are:

Frannie's Mom Gets a Divorce, and a Gift Certificate

It Isn't Depressing at All!

Olive's Tummy Lobotomy

Tommy Finds a Job and Harasses His First Colleague

And the Worthy Award goes to:

Olive's Tummy Lobotomy

It's been a magical evening and a very exciting year for Mary Worth and Friends. Thank you for being a part of tonight's celebration! If you haven't had a chance to become a citizen of Santa Royale by following this blog, please take a moment to sign up now! It's completely free and comes with too many perks to mention.

Here's looking forward to a new year of lots of adventures and excitement!

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Mary Worth 1969

Hey, you two. You haven't been paying attention. He picks her up and drops her off because SEAN -- DRIVES -- HER -- PLACES! Remember when you two buttinskies confiscated her driver's license and then got tired of buying groceries for her?

Today's Full Strip

Monday, January 12, 2015

Mary Worth 1968

Mary continues to observe current interactions between Hanna and Sean, and has started sketching their encounters in her notebook. Mary is to the residents of Charterstone what Jane Goodall is to the chimpanzees of Tanzania.

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Friday, January 9, 2015

Mary Worth 1967

Hanna seems almost sinister as she shoves Amy out the door. If, indeed, that is Amy. Her eyes are suddenly brown. Perhaps it is some sort of replicant in a carefully crafted latex face that is going to head over to Sean's apartment and eat him while Amy disposes of Gordon's body in the back dumpster. This story is getting totally out of hand.

And a gentle reminder that today is the last day to vote for the Worthy Awards. Now finish eating your Sean.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Mary Worth 1966

The mother daughter relationship is always a challenging one. First, mom doesn't want you to date boys who pick you up after 10. Then she doesn't want you to leave your fatherless child with her so you can date boys who pick you up after 10.

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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Monday, January 5, 2015

Mary Worth 1964

Gordon enjoys his grandmother's vision problem because it means the furniture is arranged two feet from the flatscreen. Unfortunately, he is so focused on feverishly flipping through the channels that he has missed seeing his mother and grandmother hover over the living room floor as they carry on their unusually civil conversation.

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Friday, January 2, 2015

Mary Worth 1963

"Amy, He's Cup-o-Sean. He lives in my cup now. And I am moving into his suddenly open apartment."


Hey, it's a New Year! What better way to celebrate than by becoming a citizen of Santa Royale! You can right now by clicking here to join this site!

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Mary Worth 1962

It makes sense that Gordy would sit in the front seat given Mary Worth's 1962 vibe, but why in the world would he be wearing a seat belt.

I'm also struggling to figure out what time it is. Assuming Hanna's concert started at 7:00 p.m., and ended at 9:00, and then 20 minutes to their seats at Diner, and 10 minutes to make Mean Tuna Clubs, it was at least 9:30 p.m. when Amy called. What kind of guy is this Dave character to be picking sweet little Amy up so late?

If you haven't had a chance yet to vote for the 2014 Worthy Awards, VOTE NOW!

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