Saturday, July 31, 2010

Mary Worth 812

One of the great accomplishments any patient can achieve in therapy is acceptance. Bonnie Johnson, impulsive shopping has affected your marriage. Accept that. Toby Cameron, your horrible marriage causes you to take unnecessary risks online. Accept that. Waldo Kelrast, your loneliness has resulted in an inability to let go. Accept that. Wanders, your failure to cope with reality has caused you to obsess over Mary Worth. Accept that!

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Mary Worth 809

I think we've got two Worthy Award nominees today... Above is one of the best panels I've ever seen. If your therapist ever leans over you this closely, run. Then sue.

And here we have a nominee for Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character:

Such drama! Mary's really digging deep with her Jungian approach. So many buried emotions rising to the surface!

Not only that, if you thought it was awesome when Kurt Evans patched things up with his not-real-dad Wilbur Weston, then it's going to be TWICE as awesome when Dr. Roberts patches things up with his real father! Twice the fishing! Twice the photos of mom! Twice the frolicking!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Mary Worth 808

I think I've counted 17 different diplomas on Dr. Mike's wall, so it is no wonder he is so skilled at negotiating his fear of abandonment. Frankly, I'm still feeling abandoned by his brown hair.

And for those of you who have felt abandoned by me the past few days, please understand I just got back from a week-long vacation to Cleveland, Ohio. It was the perfect family vacation as this photo proves:

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Mary Worth 807

I haven't wanted to post because the jokes I've been making have been showing up in the next day's strip as really bad jokes and bruising my ego (i.e., my secret message about Freud; Mary practicing therapy on a therapist).

I know everyone has been making wild predictions about Mike's problem, but I will eat a record from the Charterstone jukebox if Mike's parents didn't divorce and now he doesn't trust his ability to commit.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Mary Worth 806

Yes, we get it. Yesterday I called Mary Worth "therapist to therapists." Today, she actually begins to live out the fantasy as Dr. Mike hits his own couch where he will no doubt begin to fix his problem under Mary's laic hand. We get the irony. Still, there's something that really creeps me out about today's strip. Even more than usual.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mary Worth 805

Jenna deserves better? That's exactly what I said two days ago.

Is this whole thing some sort of elaborate plot on Mary's part? Is she so passively aggressive, that she arranged the date in order to force Doctor Mike to confront his glaringly obvious defect, and is now suggesting that he "look into fixing it?" Of course, who better to fix Mike than Mary Worth herself, but she subtly leads him along until he reaches his own same conclusion and begs her for help. Mary Worth, therapist to therapists.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Mary Worth 804

Oh, Doctor Mike. You remind me of a young Wanders, back in the days when I'd fall in love with any woman after one date if she was especially partial to walking along the water. I'd dye my hair in hopes that no one would recognize me, and then sit at home staring wistfully at my pencil or my telephone. Invariably, old ladies would come around demanding to know what was wrong with me. Ah, there's nothing quite like young love.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, July 19, 2010

Mary Worth 803

Well, for one thing, going out with Jenna has completely shattered Mike's self esteem. He's dyed his hair and is no longer insisting that people call him Doctor Mike. The guy doesn't know who he is anymore. Jenna deserves better than that.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mary Worth 802

Just a comment to single men. If you expect women to have this kind of reaction to your neglect after one blind date, don't. This is a comic strip. Real women are smarter than this. If one ever does react this way, run. Run as fast as you can. Because before you know it, Mary Worth is going to hunt you down for an explanation and it better be a good one, Doctor!

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mary Worth 800

Mary walks home from His 'n Hers Groceries (a bag of blue for Jeff, a bag of pink for Mary) to find Jenna Thomas, wandering down New Country Road in her bathrobe, drunkenly wondering if the man she had one blind date with has another woman in his life. Meanwhile, Bonnie Johnson has gone way off her budget. Let's see just how low Jenna can go.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Mary Worth 799

Jenna hs bn w8N by d ph 4 a wk! I thort 4 sure we'd gt2 C her descent N2 despair, bt findin her emotionally DstroyD soul @ d nadir wz a gr8 surpriz dis AM!

Karen Moy nt 1ly =) me W dis lil plot twist, bt she actuly txted n d script 2 Joe Giella. wel plAd, Karen Moy. wel plAd. Im sure yr detractors wl wn2 sA thyre sry.

Translate well constructed English text into texting lingo here.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The Good Guys

I admit, I am hooked on the new Fox comedy cop-buddy show, The Good Guys, starring Tom Hanks' son Colin. But I think Mary Worth prefers this version with Bob Denver:

Mary Worth 798

Well, I guess this story isn't as finished as I thought. It looks like we're going to get a few more dating tips. I had no idea that this is how it's done now: the woman calls the man the next morning while he's at work and leaves a voice message asking him out. In my day, this would have come across as horrifyingly desperate. Maybe it still is. If so, then we have three weeks of Jenna waiting by the phone for Mike to call back. That should be exciting.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Mary Worth 797

Mary has the good taste and discretion not to suggest out loud that romance does not equal real love. Because Mary never imposes her judgments on others. Romance is fine for a night or two, but in Santa Royale, real love is more like what the Johnsons have: dysfunctional, crippling behaviors that lead to misery and suffering, but you have no more options so you ride it out to the grave. And who wouldn't want that for Jenna and Dr. Mike?

Happy 7-Eleven Day everyone!

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Mary Worth 796

Do you know what I think this platitude means? I believe it means this story is over.

I think the point of this story was that even though couples like the Johnsons have to struggle everyday to keep some spark of trust in their relationship, even though they need the intervention of professionals just to keep their resentments and despair from overwhelming them, there are other couples who kiss in the moonlight. On the first date. And who eventually will become as miserable as the Johnsons. But the irony is so worth it.

Today's Full Strip

Friday, July 9, 2010

Mary Worth 795

The seagulls continue to delouse and the sun goes supernova as Jenna takes the first bite out of Dr. Mike's face. Meanwhile...

...Uncle Joe continues to struggle with drawing reflections, but I give him full credit for persistence. Joe, here's a little tip: The next time you look in the mirror, notice how if you raise your left hand in the air, in the mirror it looks like your reflection's right hand. It's often referred to as a "mirror image." But keep up the great work, and don't get discouraged. You are awesome.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Mary Worth 794

I know everyone thinks it will be Dr. Mike, but I think it may be Jenna who turns out to be psychotic, perhaps even a serial killer. This way, not only are we surprised, but after Dr. Mike escapes from Jenna's makeshift dungeon, he can devote the rest of his life to healing the woman he loves.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Mary Worth 793

I admit, kicking your shoes off and dancing in the moonlight on the beach to the wafting sounds of a Bobby Darin cover band seems remarkably romantic. One night, Mrs. Wanders and I left the San Francisco Opera during the first intermission of three, drove across town to Ghirardelli Square for sundaes, then walked in the moonlight on the beach. It was a romantic autumn night, but I'm not sure it makes a good story. I'm certain that whatever opera we were watching was an even worse story. And Mike and Jenna's blind date probably falls somewhere in between.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, July 5, 2010

This makes me smile...

We followed this truck out of the firework show on Saturday night. It gave me the giggles, and I made Mrs. Wanders take a picture as we drove.

At least the dog has class . . .

Mary Worth 792

Jenna Thomas is thrilled to have found a man who can express his feelings. But the fact that he's a psychotherapist probably gives him a bit of a professional edge when it comes to labeling his emotions.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Mary Worth 791

You know what? I'm a hopeless romantic. I am the first to admit that the moment I saw the future Mrs. Wanders, it was love at first sight. And we were instant soul mates. But even then, it took a few dates before we got all obvious about it. I mean, Mike and Jenna are coming across as unseemly and undignified. But then, I'm in my forties and perhaps I just don't understand how desperate young single adults are these days. Maybe in this modern, fast paced world they need to throw themselves at each other. But at least they've learned to express their emotions and are clearly willing to make commitments.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Mary Worth 790

Hey, I'm beginning to get the idea that these fireworks are some sort of metaphor. "It's starting..." could be a symbolic statement in reference to Doctor Mike's and Jenna's new romantic attraction towards one another. And like any exploding rocket, it's going to be over in just a few moments.

Probably as soon as Doctor Mike notices that Jenna left her dentures in the restaurant.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Mary Worth 789

Boy, I'll say! The sparks have been flying all over this scintillating dialog, but now it is time for a WALK. Along the WATER. Where there will be real FIREWORKS! It is remarkable how Mary Worth was able to take two bland, dull, unethical professionals who had sworn off love as not for them, get them together over bland, dull, unappetizing food, and BLAM! FIREWORKS!

May I add that Doctor Mike Roberts is so smooth, you'd never guess he'd been off the market for seven years. You'd never guess that.

Today's Full Strip