Mary Worth 4037

I hope Auntie June is enjoying her vacation. She's earned it.

Also, for your fun and amusement:

Mary Worth 3792

Mary, you've just described a disfunctionally co-dependent relationship perfectly.

Mary Worth 3570

If you were more like a dog, Eve, you wouldn't think about your murderous, tripping husband and cry all the time. Live in the now. Be like a dog.

Mary Worth 3567

But what if The Now never ends?

Mary Worth 3494

Mary's platitudes are pass alongs from her own 12-step recorvery group: Muffins anonymous. She's struggling there. She is currently sublimating muffins with banana bread, which everyone knows is a loser's game. Excuse me: Human's game.

Mary Worth 3418

It's also been said, "When you fail to attribute, you make the quote your own." It was Helen Keller. Helen Keller said it. I mean what Mary said. I just made up the quote about attribution... at least I think so. I better verify that.

Mary Worth 3380

Yes, it is International Praise-the-Madonna-of-Charterstone Day.

Mary Worth 2880

It's a temporary problem? Then by all means, stick with the alcohol.

Mary Worth 2647

Oh, come on Mary, adulting is easy. For one thing, you can buy candy whenever you want.

Mary Worth 2473

Well, it appears that we've finally found an appropriate use for BOLD lettering.

Mary Worth 2412

Mary may be hoping to be 25 in the future, but she still spouts the wisdom of a 70 year old fortune cookie.

Mary Worth 2406

By my count, Tommy is already over 30 days clean! Congrats, Tommy.

Mary Worth 2404

Yes, Rome wasn't built in a day, and sometimes comics take a long time to draw. It's understandable if you cut a few corners here and there...

Mary Worth 2340

Let's see how University Director Hilton Berkes feels about your truth, Dawn. After Harlan is fired, do you think your friend could get a job at the paper writing "Ask Da Vinci?"

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Mary Worth 2241

The look of fear in Giovanni's eyes is well founded. Olive is angry. And when Olive gets angry, people get hurt... inexplicably.

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Mary Worth 2193

I can certainly see why Olive invited Mary to come visit her: She always lets her order extra platitudes on her sundae.

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Mary Worth 1840

Children have the cutest way of saying things. "You make me feel all right with myself." Ha ha. Cute. Ridiculously cute.

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Mary Worth 1,611

Love, like my Sears Rewards card, has NO LIMITS! (Some restrictions may apply.)

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Mary Worth 1,511

C'mon Mary! It's already perfect! At least your side of the cake is. John's side of the cake is nothing more than a few unicorns and a corn cob.

I for one am going to really enjoy 2013, watching John and Mary practice making this genius cake over and over and over again.

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Mary Worth 1,487

I just love how well crafted and inspiring this platitude is. So many of us are not who we are. And this just inspires me to correct that. I mean, I will if I am who I am, because if I am not who I am, then I really can't correct anything. Someone else will have to.

Edited to add: A big thank you to those of you who surprised me this morning with donations. This will really help Dan Smithers get back on his feet. Or I may just take my family to see "Les Miserables" instead. You guys are the best!

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