Saturday, February 28, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #449

"I hope so dearest daughter... because if you aren't... and your relationship is anything like the manipulating, oppressive, co-dependent, prison I find myself in, the rest of your life will be a never-ending nightmare."

Today's Full Strip

Friday, February 27, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #448

Yes, Jeff, there is reason to rush. And I'll tell you why.

I got a very gracious letter from Andrea at the dedicated fund that raises money for the Hanoi Peace Village - Dr. Jeff's favorite charity. Among other things, she wrote:
I first wanted to thank you for bringing this cause to light and for motivating people to take a moment and give back. I also wanted to let you know that we are tracking the funds you raised and will be taking them to the Peace Village in the spring and will let you know what they are going to be used for.
However, this fund will stop raising money for the Peace Village on March 1st. That's just two days away! The Peace Village, apparently, will begin raising its own money soon. But that won't be for a while, and they need all the support they can get now. I invite everyone to visit our original appeal and give whatever you can to support the Peace Village now while you can! Yes, it is urgent. Your gift will make a real difference, and imagine the pride you'll feel being part of the Mary Worth and Me community, and giving to Dr. Jeff's favorite cause. We've raised over $300 so far, and I really believe we can hit $1,000, but we need to act quickly!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #447

And he wanted to deposit a very impressive number into my bank account... all he needed was the account and routing numbers. What a dear. But I wouldn't let him. I want to pay for my own wedding since I'm only going to do this once.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #446

As much as this story bores me already, I thrill to know that Mary Worth and Jeff are being forced to sit there and listen to it. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving couple. Suffer, Mary Worth, suffer!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #445

I can't imagine Ted's story taking much time: "We met online," what's to tell? It's not like she was stranded without an umbrella and gallant Jasper McShifty came to her rescue with his little penciled-in mustache. He didn't offer to pay for three of her items so she could use the express check-out lane at the grocery store (shout out: Christine Lavin!). He didn't save her dog from drowning by performing canine CPR. No, they hooked up online. We really, really don't want the details, Jasper.

But, if there's one thing this strip does well, it's teach us about the Interwebs. So I'm sure we'll all learn something.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #444

Now, nobody freak out. Remember that in "Mary Worth time," two months ago Aldo Kelrast was driving off a cliff. That's certainly a reasonable length of time for for these two crazy hipster kids to get to know each other. Welcome to the Mary Worth family, Ted.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Mary Worth 443

Imagine what Adrian was thinking as she watched her fiance write a very impressive number on her father's napkin, but still no ring.

Or maybe Ted secretly stole the ring back and Adrian didn't notice. He stole her pearls, so why not?

Today's Full Strip

Friday, February 20, 2009

Mary Worth 442

It takes a real man, someone absolutely comfortable in his own skin, to refer to another man as "a keeper." Dr. Jeff Corey, M.D., doesn't quite pull it off.

I find Mary's uncommon silence to be quite disturbing.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #441

Ahhh, Ted, so modest in his philanthropy. He writes his pledge down for only Jeff Corey to see so that the women folk won't think he's some sort of braggart. I don't know what number he's written down, but I can think of three numbers that qualify as very impressive: Elventy-twelve; a gazillion; and infinity-plus-one. They are the most impressive numbers I know, and I'm certain Ted has pledged at least one of them.

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #440

Hold on there, Jasper! You aren't beating me to the punch. I want to do more as well. And I want to encourage all 500 or so of our daily readers to do more too. First, here's a link to the Peace Village in Hanoi. This is serious, and I understand why Dr. Corey cares so much. I'm asking you, dear reader, to prove that we aren't all snarky cynicism around here. Visit the site, and if you are at all able... and you certainly are able to do something... click their link "How to Help." You're very savvy on the Internets, so use their Network for Good links to make a donation. I just gave $100, but even if you can only give $10, these kids, as Dr. Corey says, "Really need our help." Every dollar counts.

Just be sure to do two things: Under Designation, write: "Peace Village." And under "Dedication (of gift)" write "" Then I hope you'll use their system to send me an e-card at and let me know how much you've donated. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Mary Worth and Me raised $1,000 to help Jeff Corey's special cause? It would be as hilarious as any great heroic deed. Please support Jeff Corey's cause!


NOTE: As of March 1st, the dedicated fund that raises money for the Peace Village will stop raising money for them. The Peace Village will be independent soon, and I'll update you on how to give once they are able to accept gifts. Here are the results so far of our fund raising drive. As of today, we've raised $360 for the Hanoi Peace Village:

Tuna Casserole Level ($1-$35)


Increased Antibiotics Level ($36-$99)


Merry Meddlers Level ($100 and up)

Toots McGee

Thank you to Amber, Ian and Toots McGee! Keep the gifts coming everyone! No gift is too small. The children in the Peace Village are as real as you and me, and your gift will help bring comfort and happiness to their lives. Even something as seemingly mundane as an electric fan can make a tremendous difference.

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #439

This is excellent! We'll get to hear the Vietnam story all over again. Plus Adrian will appreciate her father hitting up Ted for donations before the waiter has even brought their drinks.

Today's Full Strip.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #438

Careful here, Ted. Dr. Corey knows a lot about Vietnam. Don't blow your cover the first week of this story. Drag it out for months and months.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #437

Dad hasn't even taken his seat, and Adrian is already gushing! Gushing! And who can blame her. Ted Confey, adventurer, author, and Washington D.C. socialite, is every woman's dream!

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #436

Until you find The One, you just can't have happiness in your personal life. No matter how hard you work.

Today's Full Strip

Friday, February 13, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #435

Jeff, if you'd like to get to the restaurant a little faster, you might try driving a little further away from the curb.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #434

Hey, that's me! Except I'm not a widower. Nor do I work for National Geographic... er, I mean, "a geography publication." And I don't travel that much, despite my nom de plume. But I do live in the D.C. metro region, and I fall asleep during "It's a Wonderful Life" every Christmas, and George Baily always wanted to be an explorer for National Geographic. Just like Adrian's boyfriend is now. Yep, this is definitely me!

Today's Full Strip

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #433

When Mary Worth says, "Sounds interesting. Tell me more," what she means is,

A) "Perhaps it's not too late to get involved."
B) "It would be interesting in any other comic strip."
C) "Fresh meat."
D) All of the above, and so much more!

I'm not sure how this story will develop, actually. I mean, what could possibly go wrong and require Mary's meddling? Hooking up with strangers on the Internet is at least as safe as, oh, I don't know, shopping online? People of Charterstone, have you learned nothing?? The internets are dangerous places! There's no customer service rep that's going to call up Adrian and warn her that the man she's been dating is a married fraud! Put on your cape and Spandex, this looks like a job for Mary Worth!

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #432

Not until she's faced with the prospect of meeting a new meddling victim does Mary Worth give Dr. Jeff Corey even half a glance. But boy do her pupils dilate when she hears Adrian has a new boyfriend. It truly is a compulsion.

Dharma alert: That genie bottle on the china shelf keeps jumping through time and space.

Congrats to Spike for predicting the next story would include Adrian.

Today's Full Strip

Monday, February 9, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #431

So, Mary has just spent the last 15 minutes telling Jeff the entire Frank and Lynn Griffin story. If only Karen Moy had been so succinct. Now Jeff seems to have some news of his own. And we'll have to wait 24 hours to find out what it could be. How will I get anything done today?

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #430

It just wouldn't be an interesting story if a dysfunctional elderly rage-aholic didn't make a move on Mary Worth. Let's face it, when Toby had her identity stolen, no one picked up on Mary Worth, and that story wasn't interesting at all. It's a formula I'll never get tired of and hope to see it many more times.

And thank you, Mary, for reiterating the FREEDOM of ice skating once again. It's the greatest freedom of all. It's better than the freedom of walking, or the freedom of biking, or even the freedom of retiling the kitchen floor.

Today's Full Strip

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Mary Worth Adventures #429

Actually, Frank, it's not like riding a bicycle at all. Trust me on this.

I'd like to thank Karen Moy for telling us all about the endless freedom of ice skating. Rather than showing us. Perhaps tomorrow the choreographer will stand on the sidelines and narrate for us: "Mary is skating with a sense of FREEDOM I've never seen before! The wind is in her hair as she skates over the flow of ice! Her grace is remarkable. For a woman of advancing years, she looks as though she's twenty again! She must have been quite a skater in her youth!" But I don't blame Karen Moy for treating her readers like idiots. What else would explain why we read this strip?

Today's Full Strip

Friday, February 6, 2009

As close as Bush v. Gore.

The Kalamazoo Gazette ran a poll to kill a comic strip. Even though Apartment 3-G scored a whopping 44 percent, Mary Worth beat it with 45 percent! However, the Gazette is reconsidering there polling model and relaunching the poll. Maybe a recount can save Mary! There current poll results total about 700 percent, so this is a much better polling model. Read about it here.

Mary Worth Adventures #428

Well, well, well. What do you know. Every once in a while, Moy pulls it off. This ought to be good. Suddenly, my expectations for the week have improved. I can't wait to see some of this old pair's moves. Especially in the Toast Sweater and the Anorexia-hiding layered T ensemble.

Today's Full Strip

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mary Worth 427

I better get back home before I waste away to nothing on this "Ice Rink Coffee Machine" addiction I've developed.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Mary Worth 426

Yes, Mary Worth, as soon as you spoke to her, the childhood loss of her mother, the tragic car wreck that crushed the life out of her best friend, and years of verbal and emotional abuse from her own father, were just magically lifted. Thanks, Mary Worth. You're the best!

Today's Full Strip

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Mary Worth 425

"You hear that little girl! You don't have a chance against Vicky and Lynn and me! So quit it with the 'V-for-Victory' formation. Try lowering your left arm, and it's the 'L-for-Loser' formation. Because you're a loser!"

Today's Full Strip

Monday, February 2, 2009

Mary Worth 424

Actually, overcoming your rage addiction will take much more than just a few concessions, Frank. Try years of therapy. But at least you're making progress. That sweater has completely emasculated you, so that helps.

Today's Full Strip

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Mary Worth 423

I guess I got confused. I thought we already had the nationals. This story is just barely getting started. But don't worry: There is no better way to enjoy figure skating than watching it rendered two panels a day by Joe Giella.

Today's Full Strip.