Friday, August 12, 2022

Mary Worth 3993

She dreams. She DREAMS! It's happening.... It is HAPPENING! I am giddy with excitement and anticipation. Yes, I realize this is not a wise emotional state in the Worthiverse, but I can't help myself.

Thursday, August 11, 2022

Mary Worth 3992

No, Dawn! This isn't about Jared! It's about you. More specifically, you turning into your father. Try to stay on topic. This problem is not going to resolve itself. You need to go to sleep and have a crazy, hilarious dream sequence that will bring you clarity! Until then, I won't be able to sleep.

Wednesday, August 10, 2022

Mary Worth 3991

Spicy green chili, combined with thoughts of Wilbur, guarantees the dream sequence we all crave. Fall asleep, Dawn! Fall asleep, now! We can't wait any longer! Augggh!

Tuesday, August 9, 2022

Mary Worth 3990

Dawn, everyone turns into their parents, and since you have no maternal influence in your life, you're pretty much doomed.

Monday, August 8, 2022

Mary Worth 3989

Do kids really think "OMG"? I know it stands for "Oh, my God," but does Dawn? When I was a kid, if I ever said, "Oh, my God" out loud, my mother would patiently and kindly tell me that I had hurt her feelings. Her gentleness was very effective. She would sometimes remind me that saying "Oh my God" was using the Lord's name in vain, and because she loved God ("He is my friend"), she wanted to keep his commandments and wanted her children to do so too. Never wanting to intentionally hurt my mother, I really worked at not using the Lord's name in vain even though all my friends did. So the repeated use of "OMG" in yesterday's and today's strips actually makes me a little bit sad, thinking of how it would disappoint my mother. Of course, I don't know if it would offend Wilbur. Or anyone else on the planet. But then you don't know my Mom who is still the kindest woman on earth.

Sunday, August 7, 2022

Mary Worth 3988

We can now confirm that you certainly are not turning into your mother. I think Dawn has finally found clarity.

Saturday, August 6, 2022

Mary Worth 3987

I, like Wilbur, feel as if this break has been much longer than it really has been. I was surprised to see that it has just been going on since January. It feels like it has been at least a year. Strangely, though, I can't remember anything that has happened since then? Maybe something about Dawn and Jerome (was that his name?). It's all just a blur.

Friday, August 5, 2022

Mary Worth 3986

Don't flatter yourself, Wilbur. He makes way more than twice your salary!

She wasn't a 'hot lady,' Wilbur. She was a con artist. And you blew Dawn's college fund on her.

Thursday, August 4, 2022

Mary Worth 3985

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

It has happened! For 15 years I've waited for a just a little information about Wilbur's ex-wife! I had finally decided to just ignore that Dawn ever even had a mother, and was just created in Wilbur's dark basement with some cleaning supplies and double-A batteries. But here we have it. Wilbur was married to an uptown girl and it didn't work out. Oh my gosh, the one time I want a Wilbur story, and I think Dawn is headed out for muffins with Mary.

Wednesday, August 3, 2022

Mary Worth 3984

"Take for example Estelle. She wants to break up with me just because I didn't die when I fell off a ship. And because I'm a drunk. And obese. And a complete charicature of a man."

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Mary Worth 3983

I can't remember for sure, but weren't Estelle and Wilbur on a break the last time we saw them? Now they've gotten back together and she wants another break? I can't keep track, and I don't want to know. For those of you who were getting tired of Dawn and Jared, please remember that it could be worse. Much, much worse.

Monday, August 1, 2022

Mary Worth 3982

Dawn talks to Cathy, she talks to Wilbur, but she will listen to Mary Worth, so why don't we just cut to the chase? Stop eating your green chili, and run straight to Mary's for a muffin and advice: "Be friends with Jared, but date gorillas. It's what you really wanted in the first place."