Thursday, August 4, 2022

Mary Worth 3985

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It has happened! For 15 years I've waited for a just a little information about Wilbur's ex-wife! I had finally decided to just ignore that Dawn ever even had a mother, and was just created in Wilbur's dark basement with some cleaning supplies and double-A batteries. But here we have it. Wilbur was married to an uptown girl and it didn't work out. Oh my gosh, the one time I want a Wilbur story, and I think Dawn is headed out for muffins with Mary.

15 comments:

mr_darcy said...

Sure, Wilbur. You lost interest in her. Whatever you say.

KitKat said...

Her high society ways included holding cutlery correctly and turning up her nose at Super Spicy Chili.

I’d like to see a flashback to Wilbur meeting his former wife. Did they meet cute while he was doing something typically Wilbur, i.e., embarrassing himself? Also, I’ve forgotten - is Dawn’s mother still alive, and does she a name? So many questions!

Anonymous said...


"I remember our last night together. It was the little things. I took her out to dinner and she got annoyed that I wore my baseball hat throughout the meal. She got annoyed when I smacked my lips while eating greasy ribs with my hands. She got annoyed when I yelled across the room to the waiter to bring me a couple more beers. She just grew so intolerant. Plus, her snooty friends thought I was an uncouth slob."

-- Scottie McW.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Well! Baroness Petronella Cholmondeley-Weston certainly makes for a dignified floating head. I like to think Wilbur’s fatal mistake was to misplace the oyster fork whilst arranging place settings for a Woody’s binge — an unforgivable loss of interest in high society ways that triggered a divorce Soon After That.

ratswan said...

how many goats and cows did wilber have to give up to marry her ?

RogerBW said...

"I knew it was love from the moment our eyes met in the head trauma ward. But one day, she got better."

UC Santa Royale said...

Check out the Comics Curmudgeon https://joshreads.com/ this morning for some amazing vintage Wilbur origin story strips.

Anonymous said...

First Covid, then moneypox. And now a glimpse of Wilbur's wife. This confirms it, folks.

REPENT! THE END IS NEAR!

HelenClark

Vince said...

You people are truly hilarious today.

Yes, make sure you visit Comics Curmudgeon. The pre-KM Toby and Ian will blow your mind, even if you knew them back then.

LouiseF said...

I'm imagining how long it takes to get bored with a partner's "high society ways". In Wilbur's case, he made it through a wedding, Dawn's conception and birth, and FINALLY he got bored with his wife and "lost interest in the marriage". From the way he's scowling at his drinking glass, I think he made the whole story up. If it's true, it's one more reason to feel revolted by Wilbur's (lack of) character.

KitKat said...

Thanks for the referral to the CC, @U C Santa Royale! Now we know that the ex-Mrs. Weston is Gail, and presumably alive. There’s also insight into a reason (one of many, I’m sure) she kicked Wilbur to the curb. And the Joe Giella versions of the Camerons is quite a blast from the past!

Chester the Dog said...

He really means he lost interest in Dawn. SMACK!

hmmm said...

Wilbur looks like he’s wearing a Wilbur mask.

Garnet said...

I wonder what some of her "High Society Ways" were? Did she disapprove of him getting completely wasted in public and groping other women's breasts? Did she not like it when he wound sing bad pop music outside her window with a boom box? Was she horrified by his tendency to drink and drive? Maybe she doesn't like men who threaten to kill people's pets.

What a snob she must have been.

meg said...

I always thought that Dawn came to live with Wilbur when her mother died. I hope she’s alive, because that’s one new character I’d love to see tangling with Mary (aptly described as a combination majordomo and busybody)!