Thursday, April 30, 2020

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Mary Worth 3353

"Oh, Dawn, do you know how difficult it is for a guy like me to stay faithful in a country like France? But you begged and begged for a long distance relationship. Merci d'avoir perdu mon temps. Thanks for wasting my time."

Tuesday, April 28, 2020

Mary Worth 3352

"It's not you, Hugo. I've found someone better." Explain to me how this isn't about Hugo?

Monday, April 27, 2020

Mary Worth 3351

Maybe tomorrow she can choke on her words and take a sip of water, and perhaps on Wednesday, she can excuse herself to use the rest room. I'm sure there are plenty of ways to stretch this out through the quarantine.

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Saturday, April 25, 2020

Mary Worth 3349

You may owe him for dinner if you break up with him at the restaurant.

Friday, April 24, 2020

Mary Worth 3348

Again, seeking clarity from an elevated vantage point. True fact, one of the boulders in Central Park is named "Worthless Boulder."

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Mary Worth 3347

So far, we've done the High Line, the Empire State Building, the Freedom Tower, and the Statue of Liberty, all places with great views, but apparently, Dawn is still seeking clarity. Today she looks like she's happy again. She even put on that cheap little seashell Hugo gave to her.

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

Monday, April 20, 2020

Mary Worth 3344

Ze French hearts, zey are so much more résilient zan ze American hearts.

Something tells me, he isn't going to take it as hard as you think. He tried to end things before he left, you begged him to "do long distance," so he spent the night and then headed off to France. Now I assume you're staying with him while he enjoys an American business trip. He's using you girl. Get out of there fast.

Saturday, April 18, 2020

Mary Worth 3343

Definitely not the cheapest show in town.

Mrs. Wanders and I went to see Hamilton in Philadelphia last fall. I felt no need to compare it to other shows. We loved it even though our back-of-the-house seats were pretty pricey. But we had this crazy experience. The show started, and this group of about eight women sitting behind us kept talking, and it was distracting. They weren't directly behind us, they were behind the couple to my right, and the women were sitting four-and-four, four people on the row behind us, and four behind them. They'd clearly gone for drinks and were feeling pretty relaxed. One lady kept asking everyone in her group what the actors were saying, and I thought, if you'd stop talking and listen you could understand. It seemed like they had no idea what they were attending, and I started to believe they'd won their tickets on a radio contest. At one point, one of them started playing a video on her phone, but pretty quickly turned off the sound. Still! I turned to give them the stink eye once or twice, but to no avail.

When the lights came up for intermission, the lady sitting next to me turned to me and looked at me as if to say, "Help." I said, "Are they bothering you as much as they are bothering us?" She said she had kept turning around, and even asked them to be quiet, to no avail. That's when I took action, not for me, but for the couple sitting directly in front of them. I stood up, looked at the group and said in my most intensely restrained Dad voice, "You Have Got To Stop Talking During the Performance. It is Rude and ruining the show for everyone else." They all froze and stared at me, and then all of them got really quiet, and some were even embarrassed. The others around us were clearly on my side. I sat down, and the husband of the woman next to me leaned over and said, "If you want to do that during the second act, I've got your back."

But it was completely quiet behind us during the last half. I turned around to discover eight empty seats.

Folks, even if your tickets are free, please don't talk during live performances. It is incredibly rude. Also, don't compare it to French cabaret. It isn't fair, since nothing can compare to French cabaret.

Friday, April 17, 2020

Mary Worth 3341

"I prefer 2001: l'odyssée de l'espace."

So now we can extrapolate the lag time between Story to Print. The Sony slash Star Wars pop-up exhibit in New York ran last December when anyone could enjoy NYC (In fact, my family did). There's a pandemic coming, and these two kids don't even know. When Dawn has to start video chatting with both Hugo AND Jared, that's when it will get real.

Thursday, April 16, 2020

Mary Worth 3340

I know that when I go to Marseilles, I'm going to order chicken and waffles first thing. I mean, I'm in France - so of course I'm ordering American food.

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Mary Worth 3339

"Okay, now that you've flown across the continent and booked a hotel room at your own expense, I will spend all day working and then in my limited 'down time,' I can do some stuff with you."

Monday, April 13, 2020

Mary Worth 3337

Because if we know one thing about Dawn, it's her decisiveness in matters of the heart. This trip to New York will clear up everything.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Mary Worth 3336

"I begged and begged for a long distance relationship. I'd like to be there when I break up with him."

P.S. Sorry. I wrote this this morning but forgot to hit publish.

Friday, April 10, 2020

Mary Worth 3335

Mrs. Wanders and I had been dating for about three weeks, and I was very quickly falling deeply in love, when she told me over lunch that her old boyfriend was coming for a visit. They dated in high school, and had continued seeing each other during summers as undergrads. This was her first year in graduate school and my second. This was the first I was hearing about, let's call him, "Donald." I tried to be cool, but inside I was really torn up about this. He was driving through our city, and had called her to visit. I dropped out of the picture for a few days while she spent time with Donald. But inside my head I was going NUTS! My father had always told me to tell people how you feel, so I shared with a friend how I was feeling, and that I intended to tell Mrs. Wanders -- She was Miss Wanders then -- how I was feeling. My friend told me, "That's the worst thing you could do. The most unattractive emotion is jealousy. You have the total advantage here. He's leaving in a few days, you aren't. You have to play this cool." That advice was so much better than what my father would have told me (a point I remind him of to this day).

Miss Wanders had a recital on the last day of Donald's visit. She had invited us both to attend, of course, and so I sat down in the small auditorium. I turned around and saw Donald sitting a few rows behind me. Somehow, he looked so sad and so lonely. I instantly felt sorry for him because he had to leave the love of his life that evening, and might not ever see her again. I said, "Donald, come on up her and sit next to me." He did and we chatted. I got to know him. He began to probe more about my plans for the future. When he learned I hoped for an internship in Miss Wander's hometown that summer, he asked why. The reality was that I'd been planning on that internship before I'd even met Miss Wanders, I'd even planned to go there the summer before, but felt strongly to go to New York instead (to Manhattan Theatre Club, which was an awesome experience). As we talked, I could see he was so sad, and trying to appear brave. For the first time in my life, I realized, I was going to win the affections of a woman despite the efforts of a formidable rival. But it wasn't a gloating victory. Miss Wanders chose me. I still wonder why, sometimes. Not out of insecurity, but because she's so truly amazing. I guess I'm sharing all of this so that you understand I can relate with Jared in this story. The next week or so will be miserable for him. But if he keeps his cool, and supports her in this time of decision, he may come out with a chance at happiness. I know I did.

Of course, in this story, the real winner will be whoever Dawn dumps.

Thursday, April 9, 2020

Mary Worth 3334

But do you, Dawn? Do you, really? I mean, you really don't have clarity yet. Get clarity first. I suspect Jared would hardly know you're missing. Once you have clarity, then you can tell him.

Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Mary Worth 3333

Since April 3, Dawn has been been convinced that seeing Hugo will help her find clarity. She keeps repeating it in her mind. Something tells me it isn't going to work. Hugo's not a swami on a mountain top, and Dawn is no George Harrison.

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Mary Worth 3332

So many questions that I'm sure will be left unanswered: Will they share a hotel room to cut down on the expense of this trip? Is Hugo extending his trip to spend a few days with Dawn, or will he be working all day and only have time for her in the evening? Will they pick up where they left off, or will Dawn's very real feelings for her other boyfriend cast an uncomfortable pall over their time together?

One question has been answered clearly, however: Is Dawn an idiot?

Monday, April 6, 2020

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Mary Worth 3330

“Don’t rush me. I’ve got two boyfriends and I want to make it last.”

Saturday, April 4, 2020

Friday, April 3, 2020

Thursday, April 2, 2020

Mary Worth 3327

Let the meddle begin! Plus, bonus, Dawn breaks up with Jared, so that will be awesome to watch!

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Mary Worth 3326

How can you love two people at the same time? It shouldn't be too hard. Most of your boyfriends have done it.