Mary Worth 3944

Wait. Who is TJ? Does Jared have a friend? Surprising.

Mary Worth 3943

The Princess Leia Squad has returned on the cross-town bus and is coming over to save the day.

Mary Worth 3942

It also means a really embarrassing disclosure to human resources, and a lot of paperwork.

Mary Worth 3941

I'm really glad they reused this panel from yesterday's strip because I noticed something I didn't catch before: On the poster for the cafe right by the door, is that a MASK? Do they recommend wearing face masks in this hospital? I just think that's really surprising. Why would anyone wear a mask in a hospital?

Mary Worth 3940

So Jess's sister is right there while she throws herself at her healthcare provider. When this goes to court, she may be a biased witness.

Mary Worth 3939

Define "all right," because it sounds like you have a long legal fight ahead of you. Plus, if you thought your last boyfriend was violent, wait until you meet Jared's girlfriend.

Mary Worth 3938

It's a good thing you didn't fall in, Jess, because Jared already pushed Dawn in and I don't think she would enjoy meeting you.

Mary Worth 3937

Yes, my girl friend and I don't live together. If you'd like to move in, you can sleep on my futon.

Mary Worth 3936

The odds of two random strangers both naming their cats with honorific prefixes would require C-3PO to calculate.

Mary Worth 3935

Oh, there's trouble, Mary Worth, right here in Mountview Hospital. Trouble with a Capital T and that rhymes with C and that stands for Cat. That's right, Jared and Jess are swapping Star Wars and Cat tales, and I don't like where this is heading. Why haven't you told Dawn yet?????

Mary Worth 3934

If you were a REAL fan, you would have called her GENERAL Leia Organa.

Mary is alarmed to see someone else filling her shoes as the resident meddler. This looks bad.

Mary Worth 3933

All I can think is, "Isn't she eating fried chicken for lunch? Greasy fingers on her face and in her tears."

Mary Worth 3932

Editor's note on earlier draft: June, please add a seat back behind Jared. He should not be sitting on Jess's bed.

Mary Worth 3931

Crying on Jared is appropriate when she has one eye swollen shut and it is difficult to aim her tears directly onto his shoulder.

Mary Worth 3930

Maybe I don't know how things work in hospitals. I always assumed that if a trained physicians assistant was assigned to provide treatment, that they would know the name of the patient they were treating. And they'd never forget a name like Bender because Mr. Bender went on a bender before beating up his wife, which was supposed to be funny, I guess?

Mary Worth 3929

I once had a procedure that was pretty rough, and for which I should have been sedated, but I wasn't because my doctor was EVIL. The nurse held my hand through the entire thing, and I can't tell you how much I still appreciate it to this day. It removed a lot of the trauma of the event. So I can relate to how grateful the assault victim feels toward Jared. I just hope this doesn't cross any ethical boundaries, since she seems to know a violent man who may not share her appreciation for Jared. Or Jared's love for Star Wars.

Mary Worth 3928

It's Queen's Birthday Day in New Zealand. Everybody take the day off.

Mary Worth 3927

The juxtaposition in the panels above is marvelous. It clearly shows that Jared is a much better person than Dawn.

The juxtaposition in panel below is also marvelous. It clearly shows how Dawn is a much better dancer than Jared:

Mary Worth 3926

If you were like me, there was that brief moment when you thought that everyone's prediction about Dawn ending up at the hospital with Jared actually happened. I'm not saying it won't happen, but I really did think, "Oh, my -- wait, that's not Dawn." And then you just fixated on how Jared was reaching all the way across a hospital bed to hold the poor woman's hand about as awkwardly as I've ever seen.

Mary Worth 3925

That's what Jared's mother said about naked yoga, and look how that turned out!

Mary Worth 3924

So we FINALLY meet Dawn's old pal Cathy! I've always imagined Cathy as a good influence on Dawn, and today's strip supports that. But Dawn has no intention of being honest with Jared because she worries about his happiness. That's why she's dressed to discourage any attention from the men at the club.

Mary Worth 3923

After two years of dating, Dawn and Jared are exhausted. The romance is just gone. Jared's priority is clearly work and we all know Dawn won't stand for that. Dawn's priority is clearly school even though we all know she will never graduate. It's funny to me that Dawn has been in college since long before I started reading Mary Worth in 2006. She's dated Jared for two years (in both Mary Worth and Real World time), just after he completed his Physician's Asssistant qualifications (a 3-year program), and met him three years before they started dating, so about the time he went back to school. The timeline supports Dawn's never-ending-status as a student.

Mary Worth 3922

Whaaaa? Their fight only lasted one day? Well, maybe I underestimated these two and their willingness to ignore red flags in their relationship.

Mary Worth 3921

Jared was really cool yesterday when he asked "Dawnie" if she thought the gorilla was cute, but now his ketchupless french fries have cast him into a pit of gloom and he suddenly goes all caveman on Dawn. Of course, when her own food metaphor is under appreciated, Dawn jumps down into the pit of gloom with him and pukes on his shoes.

It's good to know that neither of these two monkeys have changed much despite two years of complete bliss.

Mary Worth 3920

It looks like Dawn is going to need some more clarity.

Mary Worth 3919

I dated a lot of different women before I met Mrs. Wanders. I would say I am more on the Jared end of the spectrum than I am on the Hugo end. And never ever have I dated a woman who spent the date staring at other guys. Dawn, I don't know what kind of person you are, but you surprise me. You're almost as bad as a man!

Mary Worth 3918

"I'm tired of dating a baboon. I want to date a gorilla."

Mary Worth 3917

Two years?? Really? Two years? And yet, you seem to be exactly the same couple as the last time we saw you two years ago!

This is one of those rare instances when the Worthiverse timeline intersects with the real-world timeline, and things can get confusing. Let me explain:

In March 2020, Dawn and Jared fell in love. But she was still in love with a Frenchman named Hugo. She decided to dump her hot French boyfriend because he liked French versions of things better than American. So she started dating her quirky, hot-in-a-nerdy way, clumsy friend, Jared. Then she thought her father died. And now here we are.

In the real world, in March 2020, the earth stopped because of Covid-19, and we are just now returning to normal. Does that help you understand?

Mary Worth 3916

And there will be no other men there for Jared to be jealous of. None. No chance. This isn't setting up anything, I'm sure.

Mary Worth 3915

When Dawn said, "Look at those baboons," I didn't read it as, "Oh, look. There are the baboons." I seriously just read it as, "Jared, you are a baboon."

Mary Worth 3914

I feel like the end of the movie Groundhog Day when Bill Murray exclaims. "It happened. Today is tomorrow." No more Cal, no more Helen, no more Toby and Ian kissing (ewww).

So we know that Dawn and Jared will break up soon, but I'm trying to find the Vegas odds on whether or not the break up will be permanent.

Mary Worth 3913

If baking muffins were a disease, it would be called mariworthyitis. And I am not so sure it isn't a real disease. She's making obscene batches of muffins, week after week.

Mary Worth 3912

That's enough for me, too. I'm outta' here.

Mary Worth 3911

First of all, Ian, you don't "Try Out," you Audition. Secondly, you're going to need to learn the actor's spelling: Theatre, not theater. Thirdly, I want to see you do Shakespeare soooo badly, so, YES please audition for the theatre. And if it is a devoted husband role you want, you'd make a wonderfully racist Othello.

Mary Worth 3910

"Don't ever let it happen again."

Mary Worth 3908

Ian, not used to being kissed at home, decides exhibitionism must be Toby's thing, and he's okay with that.

Mary Worth 3907

So... Helen lost her job? Did Ian flex his status as a UNIVERSITY professor and report her to "school management?"

Mary Worth 3906

And just like that, Cal is so grossed out that his hormones have been shut off. Well, not shut off - just redirected. You go, Cal.

Mary Worth 3905

For those who are interested, the USC yearbook is called El Rodeo, which is Spanish for The Detour. Which is funny to think of your four years of undergraduate study as a detour in your life.

I have no idea what Helen might have learned since her conversation with Ian was private, but I am sure it was dramatic and meaningful.

Mary Worth 3904

"I'm so happy to meet your grandfather, Ms. C. Would you like me to sketch him with my keen eye?"

Mary Worth 3903

Of course there are some things that a lady doesn't disclose.

Mary Worth 3902

This is true. Anyone else would set him straight. He is adult man who knows you are his married college professor. But of course, this is Mary Worth and the Worthiverse of Madness, where the right thing to do is always the wrong thing to do.

Mary Worth 3901

If it doesn't work, I guess you'll have to start dating Cal. By the way, why did you take off your wedding ring?

Mary Worth 3900

Maybe he can do to Cal exactly what he did to Helen:

Mary Worth 3899

This is the most interesting panel of today's strip. Well, not exactly. Toby's story is fascinating. It's just too bad that we skipped it.

Mary Worth 3898

Awesome. This is one of the best fizzled endings I can remember. So much potential. So thoroughly unsatisfying. I live for this. Wow. I don't know what to say. It's almost as though Karen Moy was working on her best story ever, and she suddenly got bored with it. No confrontation between Ian and Helen, no confrontation between Ian and Toby. It's as though something got skipped and will perhaps be published out of sequence next week.