Yikes. Do you know who I really feel sorry for? The purple silhouettes who can't seem to get a turn at the microphone and who have to listen to some of the worst karaoke selections I can think of.
32 comments:
KitKat
said...
Wilbur is inches from standing on Estelle and Ed’s table. What a view they’re getting - egad.
Tomorrow: The manager of the Star Lounge throws out Estelle and Wilbur for driving out all the formerly happy people. Ed leaves with Mary, who’s promised him muffins.
Mary and Estelle don't seem to be interacting, even though they know each other and are sitting right next to each other. Possibly a glitch in the Moytrix?
I think Dr Ed’s brain has died on him. He hasn’t moved a nanometre since this Karaoke Konfessional began.
Isn’t anyone else interested in taking the mike away from these two and singing something more cheerful, like death metal? Maybe Weelbur threatens to bite them if they try.
This is awesome! And Mary, you know perfectly well that a painfully humiliating sing-off is the only possible way to address their interpersonal difficulties. I think Mary is absolutely eating this up and planned this all along as an ideal setup for a big juicy meddle. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if she invited every one of Wilburs numerous exes for a murderous reprise of the fateful "intervention" that drove Aldo Kelrast to his demise.
Tonight at Star Lounge - Mary Worth Presents : A Cavalcade of Exes!
First please give a warm Star Lounge welcome to the ravishing Iris Beedie, singing Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFDzhKdrN9M
Next up, the exotic and sultry Fabiana, giving a sultry rendition of the Argentine rock fusion breakup banger Para No Verte Más, by La Mosca Tse-Tse! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MULjbUhIz4
and finally, please give it up for Unnamed Dawn Mom with Nancy Sinatra's classic, These Foot Apparel Are Made For Walkin'! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2fPkzJsMU8
Encore, encore!! Zak, will you please join Iris on stage to take us out on a high note? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkXyreJV604
Great comments, everyone! ewww...Mary's lipstick matches her shirt. Or else the realization that her plan to cheer Wilbur up has failed totally is slowly turning her into one of those "purple silhouettes"..
Does this end with poutytoddlerface Weelbur fantasising he’s Khabib Nurmangomedov, trying to fight Dr Ed, and getting his donkey decisively and publicly kicked? Please tell me that’s how it ends.
Oh, Scottie McW… If only. I know nothing about karaoke and to what audience it would attract but from the songs these two have been flinging at each other, I can only assume that Star Lounge is located somewhere close to the back entrance of the Santa Royale Senior Center.
“Jeeves, old top,” I said, unclosing an eye. “I say, Jeeves, this is a bit much, don’t you think?”
“Sir?” Jeeves said, shimmering over to the window and pulling at the curtains.
“Don’t you act as though you don’t know what I’m talking about,” I said severely. “You come in here, waking me in the middle of the night…”
“It is two in the afternoon, sir,” he murmured reprovingly.
“The middle of the night, as I said. Note that I was up till all hours at Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston’s thingummy at the karaoke bar…what ho, Jeeves, why is it called karaoke, do you know?”
“I believe it is from the Japanese, sir. It means ’empty orchestra’, just as ‘karate’ means ’empty hand’. In both instances, ‘kara’ stands for…”
“Quite so, ” I said hurriedly. “What I meant to say was, I was at this thingummybob where Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston…do you know Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston, Jeeves?”
“I believe I have not had the pleasure of the gentleman’s acquaintance, sir.”
“Consider yourself lucky and make no attempt to correct this gap in your life. The Weelbur Mayonnaise-Westons of this world, Jeeves, are here but to try us. They try us sorely. Have you ever seen a cherub, Jeeves?”
“Not personally, sir, but of course I have seen the illustrations and sculptures.”
“Imagine one of those cherubs grown up, Jeeves. No longer a naked winged baby, but a fat middle aged man with a bad combover and a pout like a cherub who’s just had his flaming sword taken away from him. Are you getting the picture?”
“I am endeavouring to, sir.” Jeeves put down one of his famous hangover cures at my elbow. “Mrs Gregson called, sir, and asked me to inform you that she would be visiting in two hours.”
“Aunt Agatha?” My Aunt Agatha is the one who eats iron nails for breakfast. Normally the thought of her visiting would be enough to set my soul to quaking with terror, but for once I was unconcerned. Not even Aunt Agatha could distract me from my grievances about l’affaire Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston. “Now this human blight, this obese objet d’not-art, for some bizarre reason no human can explain, has had one woman after another fall for him. It is a mystery, Jeeves, how this might happen. Was there something Chaucer said, or was it some other cove I’m thinking about, on there being things in heaven and earth, Horatio?”
“It was Shakespeare, sir. In his play Hamlet, the Bard writes…”
“He would have written more if he’d had to put up with Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston. This fat, pouty, combovered manchild, Jeeves, has women falling for him, one after the other. Fortunately they don’t stay in love with him. But unfortunately…how shall I put it?”
“He does not reciprocate the dissociation of romantic ties, sir?”
“Exactly. He pouts. He whines. He crawls through the shrubbery. He makes scenes in restaurants. He stands in the midnight rain with a boom box disturbing the sleep of everyone in the vicinity. He threatens cats. He acquires perfectly innocent dogs in the belief that they have magnetic properties that will attract la femmes. And when those don’t work, he goes for advice to a horrible hag by the name of Mary Worth.” I shuddered. “Have you ever heard of Mary Worth, Jeeves?”
“Lady!” I emitted a laugh that to my ear resembled a hyena choking on a particularly large bone. “That woman, Jeeves, makes Aunt Agatha look almost human in comparison. Anyway, what she does is bully and meddle the poor women into giving Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston another chance, but inevitably…”
“They part ways again, sir?”
“They do. And it is invariably his fault.” I sipped gloomily at Jeeves’ hangover cure. It had not yet begun to work its magic. “Now this Mary Worth meddled a perfectly nice old biddy named Eshtelle into giving Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston another chance. And, of course, he messed it up.”
“Most distressing, sir.”
“This Eshtelle and her new beau, a veterinarian called Ed, went to a karaoke bar last night. And Mary Worth took Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston to the same place, and having met me in the street, made me go along with them.”
“Made you, sir? I do not understand.”
“That’s because you haven’t met the old harridan. You know the Ancient Mariner holding the wedding guest with his glittering eye? This Worth female makes him look like an amateur. Her eye is glitterier and holdier. I didn’t have a chance.” I took another brooding sip. “And then he got up to the microphone, on the stage in front of everyone, and began slobbering out songs insulting this Eshtelle, who was sitting right there.”
“Most socially inappropriate, sir.”
“And then she began insulting him back with her songs, and her Ed sat there looking like a boiled fish. Exactly like a boiled fish, Jeeves.”
“And then in the middle of this, the Worth leant over to me and said in my ear, ‘Isn’t this a marvellous example of Weelbur’s endearing quirks?’ I choked on my champagne. It was a good champagne, too.” I brooded. “I’m afraid the rest of the night is a blur. But you’ll never find me sharing the same room with Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston again.” I finished the last of Jeeves’ hangover cure. “Now, what was it you were saying about Aunt Agatha? Did she say what she wants?”
“I believe she wishes you to provide an explanation of why you jumped on the stage at a karaoke bar, snatched the microphone from Mr Mayonnaise-Weston, and proceeded to beat him over the head with it, all the while singing ‘Bad, bad, bad to the bone, born in the world with a microphone’ by Inner Circle, sir.” Jeeves coughed. “Will there be anything else, sir?”
I gasped, stuttered, coughed, and what not. “Our suitcases, Jeeves!” I managed at last. “We must leave for Afghanistan at once!”
“Quite so, sir,” he murmured. “I have already packed them, sir. I will summon a taxi while you dress.”
With a deferential little nod, he shimmered from the room.
The Maharani of Meddle finally faces the consequences of her meddling! Where will this go? Will she apologise for her years of unsolicited “advice”, leave Charterstone, and retreat to the wilderness to become a hermit in purple sackcloth and purple ashes? (What she is really going to do is blame her victims for following her advice. That is what she is going to do.)
LOL! A perfectly Wodehousian vignette, Bill the Butcher my dear old bean. Inimitable! I can definitely envision Mary as the spitting image of Aunt Agatha, but even more meddly and dreadful.
After this interminable Sunday retrospective it seems that Wilbur and Estelle have each belted out at least six breakup tunes (most of them reprises and likely not due to being dragged back to the mic after a standing ovation..) I agree with Wanders that my sympathies lie entirely with Dr Ed and the Fuschia Silhouettes (sounds like a great band name), who have been frozen to their seats in Stunned Silence throughout this agonizing display.
June’ Sunday art does evocatively capture Westelle’s wild-eyed mutual loathing in the wan limelight of Star Lounge. I salute you madam!
32 comments:
Wilbur is inches from standing on Estelle and Ed’s table. What a view they’re getting - egad.
Tomorrow: The manager of the Star Lounge throws out Estelle and Wilbur for driving out all the formerly happy people. Ed leaves with Mary, who’s promised him muffins.
Dr Ed has to be hoping that he'll get a call telling him that someone, somewhere, has just run over a cat.
HelenClark
I was into the Purple Silhouettes before they were shadows.
Somebody please just get out the hook!
He's hit! He's wounded! MEDIC!
-- Scottie McW.
Kara-OK, we're done here.
Mary and Estelle don't seem to be interacting, even though they know each other and are sitting right next to each other. Possibly a glitch in the Moytrix?
I think Dr Ed’s brain has died on him. He hasn’t moved a nanometre since this Karaoke Konfessional began.
Isn’t anyone else interested in taking the mike away from these two and singing something more cheerful, like death metal? Maybe Weelbur threatens to bite them if they try.
Inasmuch as Doc Ed has said he “enjoys singing”, I wonder if he’s enjoying this?
Mary, get to work!
This is awesome! And Mary, you know perfectly well that a painfully humiliating sing-off is the only possible way to address their interpersonal difficulties. I think Mary is absolutely eating this up and planned this all along as an ideal setup for a big juicy meddle. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if she invited every one of Wilburs numerous exes for a murderous reprise of the fateful "intervention" that drove Aldo Kelrast to his demise.
Tonight at Star Lounge -
Mary Worth Presents : A Cavalcade of Exes!
First please give a warm Star Lounge welcome to the ravishing Iris Beedie, singing Shout Out to My Ex by Little Mix:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFDzhKdrN9M
Next up, the exotic and sultry Fabiana, giving a sultry rendition of the Argentine rock fusion breakup banger Para No Verte Más, by La Mosca Tse-Tse!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MULjbUhIz4
and finally, please give it up for Unnamed Dawn Mom with Nancy Sinatra's classic, These Foot Apparel Are Made For Walkin'!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2fPkzJsMU8
Encore, encore!! Zak, will you please join Iris on stage to take us out on a high note?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkXyreJV604
At the very least, why hasn't Estelle moved away from the stage? Why hasn't Dr Ed abandoned this complete gong show?
Mary talked Estelle into taking Wilbur back, so she's partly responsible for this.
Wilbur's showing his abusive side too. Estelle dumped him so she's free to date another man yet he gets angry about it.
Great comments, everyone! ewww...Mary's lipstick matches her shirt. Or else the realization that her plan to cheer Wilbur up has failed totally is slowly turning her into one of those "purple silhouettes"..
Please, please, please, someone, bring on James Brown’s cape and help Wilbur off the stage…
Does this end with poutytoddlerface Weelbur fantasising he’s Khabib Nurmangomedov, trying to fight Dr Ed, and getting his donkey decisively and publicly kicked? Please tell me that’s how it ends.
Wilbur's pants are going to hit the floor if he doesn't develop some hips.
Meanwhile, Libby and Pierre are back at Charterstone...making Whoopie!!!!
Dr. Ed takes the stage, singing:
“We gotta get out of this place if it’s the last thing we ever do!”
The audience erupts in cheers and follows Dr. Ed out the exit door.
Lucky audience. Unlike the readers.
FRIDAY
This week's strips are a perfect representation of the phrase, Going from the sublime to the ridiculous.
What will tomorrow bring, Wilbur throwing a chair at Estelle?
-- Scottie McW.
Given the state of Wilbur's pate, Estelle should change the lyrics to, "Gonna wash that hair right offa my man."
Oh, Scottie McW… If only. I know nothing about karaoke and to what audience it would attract but from the songs these two have been flinging at each other, I can only assume that Star Lounge is located somewhere close to the back entrance of the Santa Royale Senior Center.
Saturday
Mary will give Dr. Jeff an extra tight hug. I guess that means from only two feet away.
She's going to hug Dr. Jeff? I didn't know she was such a brazen hussy!
mr_darcy… It takes a lot to make me laugh but you did it. Thanks! It’s been one of those days.
“Jeeves, old top,” I said, unclosing an eye. “I say, Jeeves, this is a bit much, don’t you think?”
“Sir?” Jeeves said, shimmering over to the window and pulling at the curtains.
“Don’t you act as though you don’t know what I’m talking about,” I said severely. “You come in here, waking me in the middle of the night…”
“It is two in the afternoon, sir,” he murmured reprovingly.
“The middle of the night, as I said. Note that I was up till all hours at Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston’s thingummy at the karaoke bar…what ho, Jeeves, why is it called karaoke, do you know?”
“I believe it is from the Japanese, sir. It means ’empty orchestra’, just as ‘karate’ means ’empty hand’. In both instances, ‘kara’ stands for…”
“Quite so, ” I said hurriedly. “What I meant to say was, I was at this thingummybob where Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston…do you know Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston, Jeeves?”
“I believe I have not had the pleasure of the gentleman’s acquaintance, sir.”
“Consider yourself lucky and make no attempt to correct this gap in your life. The Weelbur Mayonnaise-Westons of this world, Jeeves, are here but to try us. They try us sorely. Have you ever seen a cherub, Jeeves?”
“Not personally, sir, but of course I have seen the illustrations and sculptures.”
“Imagine one of those cherubs grown up, Jeeves. No longer a naked winged baby, but a fat middle aged man with a bad combover and a pout like a cherub who’s just had his flaming sword taken away from him. Are you getting the picture?”
“I am endeavouring to, sir.” Jeeves put down one of his famous hangover cures at my elbow. “Mrs Gregson called, sir, and asked me to inform you that she would be visiting in two hours.”
“Aunt Agatha?” My Aunt Agatha is the one who eats iron nails for breakfast. Normally the thought of her visiting would be enough to set my soul to quaking with terror, but for once I was unconcerned. Not even Aunt Agatha could distract me from my grievances about l’affaire Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston. “Now this human blight, this obese objet d’not-art, for some bizarre reason no human can explain, has had one woman after another fall for him. It is a mystery, Jeeves, how this might happen. Was there something Chaucer said, or was it some other cove I’m thinking about, on there being things in heaven and earth, Horatio?”
“It was Shakespeare, sir. In his play Hamlet, the Bard writes…”
“He would have written more if he’d had to put up with Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston. This fat, pouty, combovered manchild, Jeeves, has women falling for him, one after the other. Fortunately they don’t stay in love with him. But unfortunately…how shall I put it?”
“He does not reciprocate the dissociation of romantic ties, sir?”
“Exactly. He pouts. He whines. He crawls through the shrubbery. He makes scenes in restaurants. He stands in the midnight rain with a boom box disturbing the sleep of everyone in the vicinity. He threatens cats. He acquires perfectly innocent dogs in the belief that they have magnetic properties that will attract la femmes. And when those don’t work, he goes for advice to a horrible hag by the name of Mary Worth.” I shuddered. “Have you ever heard of Mary Worth, Jeeves?”
“I cannot say that I have, sir. Who is the lady?”
“Lady!” I emitted a laugh that to my ear resembled a hyena choking on a particularly large bone. “That woman, Jeeves, makes Aunt Agatha look almost human in comparison. Anyway, what she does is bully and meddle the poor women into giving Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston another chance, but inevitably…”
“They part ways again, sir?”
“They do. And it is invariably his fault.” I sipped gloomily at Jeeves’ hangover cure. It had not yet begun to work its magic. “Now this Mary Worth meddled a perfectly nice old biddy named Eshtelle into giving Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston another chance. And, of course, he messed it up.”
“Most distressing, sir.”
“This Eshtelle and her new beau, a veterinarian called Ed, went to a karaoke bar last night. And Mary Worth took Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston to the same place, and having met me in the street, made me go along with them.”
“Made you, sir? I do not understand.”
“That’s because you haven’t met the old harridan. You know the Ancient Mariner holding the wedding guest with his glittering eye? This Worth female makes him look like an amateur. Her eye is glitterier and holdier. I didn’t have a chance.” I took another brooding sip. “And then he got up to the microphone, on the stage in front of everyone, and began slobbering out songs insulting this Eshtelle, who was sitting right there.”
“Most socially inappropriate, sir.”
“And then she began insulting him back with her songs, and her Ed sat there looking like a boiled fish. Exactly like a boiled fish, Jeeves.”
“Rather disturbing for Eshtelle, sir.”
“And then in the middle of this, the Worth leant over to me and said in my ear, ‘Isn’t this a marvellous example of Weelbur’s endearing quirks?’ I choked on my champagne. It was a good champagne, too.” I brooded. “I’m afraid the rest of the night is a blur. But you’ll never find me sharing the same room with Weelbur Mayonnaise-Weston again.” I finished the last of Jeeves’ hangover cure. “Now, what was it you were saying about Aunt Agatha? Did she say what she wants?”
“I believe she wishes you to provide an explanation of why you jumped on the stage at a karaoke bar, snatched the microphone from Mr Mayonnaise-Weston, and proceeded to beat him over the head with it, all the while singing ‘Bad, bad, bad to the bone, born in the world with a microphone’ by Inner Circle, sir.” Jeeves coughed. “Will there be anything else, sir?”
I gasped, stuttered, coughed, and what not. “Our suitcases, Jeeves!” I managed at last. “We must leave for Afghanistan at once!”
“Quite so, sir,” he murmured. “I have already packed them, sir. I will summon a taxi while you dress.”
With a deferential little nod, he shimmered from the room.
Sunday:
The Maharani of Meddle finally faces the consequences of her meddling! Where will this go? Will she apologise for her years of unsolicited “advice”, leave Charterstone, and retreat to the wilderness to become a hermit in purple sackcloth and purple ashes? (What she is really going to do is blame her victims for following her advice. That is what she is going to do.)
LOL! A perfectly Wodehousian vignette, Bill the Butcher my dear old bean. Inimitable! I can definitely envision Mary as the spitting image of Aunt Agatha, but even more meddly and dreadful.
After this interminable Sunday retrospective it seems that Wilbur and Estelle have each belted out at least six breakup tunes (most of them reprises and likely not due to being dragged back to the mic after a standing ovation..) I agree with Wanders that my sympathies lie entirely with Dr Ed and the Fuschia Silhouettes (sounds like a great band name), who have been frozen to their seats in Stunned Silence throughout this agonizing display.
June’ Sunday art does evocatively capture Westelle’s wild-eyed mutual loathing in the wan limelight of Star Lounge. I salute you madam!
“The Star Lounge: A few old hits all of the time!!!!” (zzzzzzzxz….)
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