Monday, June 5, 2023

Mary Worth 4234

"They call it a screwdriver."

523 comments:

1 – 200 of 523   Newer›   Newest»
MDMaryTed said...

Wanders? Are you unretired?

Yahoonski said...

The return of Wanders would be wonderful, but I'd be surprised if the current story didn't actually drive him further into retirement.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Wanders! I do hope you're well and have come back to help track down the dastardly dogfighters in response to Mary's poster.

Toby and I have been so despondent over the hiatus of your wonderful blog (and of course Greta's dognapping) that we're back to day drinking as you can see. That concoction Toby's pounding is actually one snifter of Glenglassaugh to a dram of Tropicana. (We found it on healthyrecipes dot com, it seems they call it a "Whiskey and Orange Juice").

https://healthyrecipes101.com/juice/recipe/whiskey-orange-juice/

Thunderheels said...

Yay! Wanders, it is so good to see you posting again!
I hope this is more than a respite from retirement, but if not, it is so good to read from you again.
It is hard to believe even Moy would stoop so low as to put an animal in harms way.
If the dog man fed Wilbur to his dogs, then we could all celebrate.

Maggie said...

Ah, Wanders! Back for a dose of Vitamin C! Delighted to have you. Help yourself to a drink. Freshly squeezed!

LouiseF said...

What a great surprise, M. Wanders! I see the breakneck pace of this plot has piqued your interest, or maybe it was the urge to comment on how it is that Saul Wynter could even think about Greta given the bolt of lightning going through his head in panel one of Saturday June 3's strip.

MissScarlet said...

Yea Wanders!! What a great surprise!

And thanks @Dr. Cameron, I was trying to figure out what Toby was drinking.

Meanwhile, KillerKidnapperKip is so stupid he thinks his best idea is to use Greta for Pit Bull chow instead of getting a reward for retuning her. Maybe with a little luck Toby will come across the dog fighting on her way to that out-of-town liquor store she prefers.

Anonymous said...

Wanders! I still check this site every morning just in hopes of your return and Lo! You have made my day! (even if it's only a day. No pressure. Not really.)

fauxprof said...

Nice to hear from you, Wanders! Thanks for keeping the space open so we can keep snarking.

I’m seriously triggered by anything even hinting at animal cruelty. I hope KM winds this storyline up quickly, even if Wilbur pulls off a heroic rescue. (He’d only do it in his own self-interest, or completely by accident.)

Sharon said...

What a wonderful surprise, Wanders! So happy to hear from you!

meg said...

Thought I was dreaming when I saw Toby and Ian here-welcome back to crazy town, Wanders. I will alert Mary as soon as possible or when I finish my Vermont screwdriver (maple syrup and orange juice), whichever comes first.

Downpuppy said...

I'm looking forward to when Scott Free & Big Barda put the beatdown on these low rent villains.
After all, dogs are good. Even slavering hyena hybrids hijacked into dogfighting.

KitKat said...

Wanders! All hail! What an unexpected, wonderful surprise! Maybe one of the missing-dog posters made its way to your neighborhood.

Mary, even Toby knows that Greta is Saul’s dog, so there’s no need to spell that out. Sheesh!

Anonymous said...

Toby's screwdriver recipe: Pour the vodka, wink at the orange juice across the room (a la Churchill with his vermouth) and consume. Nice to see you, Wanders!

LouiseF said...

Saul's lauded "transformation" is definitely in danger now that Greta has been dognapped. Judging from the alarmed looks on Mary and Toby's faces (to say nothing of the mournful gaze Toby is casting at her disappointing orange juice) Saul's possible reversion to "Old Man Wynter" has engendered a sense of panic at Charterstone.

Mary Ellen said...

Wanders!!! Yay!

meg said...

I hope he finds her, Mary- we have plenty of grumpy old white-haired people around here already. (Sigh..)

Toby! Ian is not really old!

Wasn’t talking about him, Mary…

Anonymous said...

Welcome back! Was doing my periodic refresh and excited to see a new post! :)

LouiseF said...

I'm impressed with the size of the Santa Royale Advertiser that Mary is perusing. It's probably all ads for dog food with the Police Blotter tucked in for good measure. Can't wait to se JB's depiction of the cop who comes to interview Saul. I sense the near presence of a panel of the year.

TimP said...

Please allow me to join the chorus of well wishers and return greeters.

It is indeed a pleasure to see you posting again.

KMD said...

What a wonderful surprise--especially in light of the absurd dognapping plot. I have you missed you these past few weeks since this one of my favorite places to stop by and read as I worked my morning coffee. Hope things are well and that this continues. Thanks for all you do.

LouiseF said...

That's right, Mary; whatever is happening on the TV news is really happening to you or someone you know. There's no chance Greta just fell down a sinkhole or ran away to a bowtie-free dog commune; it HAD to be a dognapper. It's people like you, Mary, that TV news was created for.

Chester the Dog said...

Missy Grey Curlytop - Gloria Bunker in early seasons - it pretty wide-eyed on live TV! Her big break to replace Lola, the Santa Royale TV weather girl, has finally arrived.

KitKat said...

@LouiseF, I can’t write anything that could top your comment - hahahahaha etc.!

Coming soon (always a relative term in the Worthiverse): Mary takes on Van Man and his dastardly companions. Will Toby ride shotgun, or will it be Eve, Max, and Saul?

Anonymous said...


Well stuff me in a Hefty bag and wheel me to the curb, Mr. Wanders drops by for a cameo!

I echo all your well-wishers, Wanders, and as fauxprof said, thanks for letting us play in your yard while you're away.

-- Scottie

Gina said...

WANDERS! [happy dance]

Chester the Dog said...

Look at this! Estelle was cat-fished by Arther/ur in the exact same way! Ahhh, Memories...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91EVo_Py_wg

meg said...

EVERY type of community? Beverly Hills? Soho? Nantucket? Hahvahd Yahd? Cabot Cove? Mayberry? River City? Okay, then, we’ll start looking in other communities.

KitKat said...

Not only every type of community, in every part of the country! So, once Mary tells Saul, they’ll find Greta lickety-split.

meg said...

I’m really looking forward to seeing someone else rescue the dogs- Dr.Ed, the SPCA, a police dog, Scooby and the gang- and then Mary steps forward and modestly claims credit- “Yes, I read it in the Pennysaver and saw it on tv…”.

Then we can have the usual victory tour and go on to another storyline. Jeff’s boat sinks with a bunch of orphans aboard (Mary dives in or maybe just calls the Coast Guard). Dawn falls in love with Mr. Allora, Ian shaves, Mary develops a new muffin flavor…

Frank Booth said...

Finish that sentence:
Don't tell me she's...
"lost her bowtie."

KitKat said...

“Don’t tell me she’s…developed amnesia.”

meg said...

“Don’t tell me she’s…wearing a bolo tie now.”

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

"Don't tell me she's... taken the bus to a new waitressing gig in Goleta?"

https://maryworthandme.blogspot.com/2021/07/?m=0

meg said...

“Don’t tell me she’s…listening to the love language of a new Papa.”

Anonymous said...


Ha haaaa, these don't-tell-me's are great! You guys are the best!

"Don't tell me she's . . . being treated by that butcher Harding!"

-- Scottie

meg said...

@Scottie- you win!

LouiseF said...

Really fun comments, everyone! I may have a lead on what happened to Greta. My neighbor across the street just got a new dog that I spied out for a walk wearing a bowtie! I have already confronted her about the possibility that she dognapped Greta and has the poor pooch disguised as a chihuahua. I have to say, her laugh wasn't very convincing...

MissScarlet said...

Well, at this stage of the game, I have no idea where this is going. Mary will track down the location of the dog fights? Dr. Ed and Estelle get a lead when a pitbull shows up to have an ear resewn? Dawn has a classmate who turns up rolling in dough from his gambling wins? I really am looking forward to this. OMG-I‘ve been sucked into MW……help….

KitKat said...

@MissScarlet, I’m with you. Perhaps Mary will stumble across a dog-fighting ring on her next power walk.

Saul lives in a shrine to Greta - yikes.

LouiseF said...

Enough with the hand-wringing, Mary. Time for some action or at least a window into the world of the dogknappers. If this were a Disney movie, the dogs would be plotting a dramatic escape from the kennel. I can just see Greta determinedly chewing the latch on the poorly maintained door. Back at Charterstone, Mary is busy searching for matching black clothing so she and Toby might make an undercover trip into the filthy world of dog fighting. First she has to do some reading about it. That will take until Friday, by which time Greta and her comrades will have made their escape and found their way back to Charterstone just in time for dinner.

meg said...

Well, I just had a horrible thought. What if this is the Funky Winkerbean-ization of the Mary Worth strip? First Greta will die, then Saul. Then the Cameron’s will divorce, and Mr. Allora will develop a goiter. Dawn will get booted from SRJC for failure to graduate after 40 semesters. Wilbur will perform at the Grand Ole Opry, dressed as Dolly Parton. Dr. Jeff’s boat will sink with Mary aboard; she will survive, but there’ll be a rift in their relationship, and Mary will get a cat to spite him. Estelle will change her name to Future Former Mrs. Ed Harding. Charterstone will go into receivership. And next week, Max will viciously bite Eve.

News release from the Comics Kingdom : Tragic Mary Worth more popular than ever. (That can’t be too hard.)

Food for thought: Grand Ole Opry should be pronounced Grand Ole! Opry. Discuss among yourselves.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

"Are you sure about what you heard?"
(stunned silence..) "It was on the local news!"
Classic Mare.

Cmon Saul, everyone knows it's a secretive blood sport that can occur anywhere. Just like the Extreme Shuffleboard league you and Eve have been masterminding.

LouiseF said...

meg, with the (pre-global warming) glacial pace of all plots MW, I don't think we're in for changes of the magnitude you speak of until about the year 2525. I'm not sure I'd want to see what a world would be like that far in the future where a comic strip like Mary Worth is still being published.

Thunderheels said...

Perhaps Mary will find the dog fight trainer, and with some advice (empty clich├ęs) and lots of bran muffins make him see the errors of his ways. He will learn dogs are good and not just for fighting.
Or she will unleash her Ninja fighting skills and beat him into submission.
Or use so many

KitKat said...

“To incite their bloodlust…”

Mary’s getting a rush this week, isn’t she? This is better than sitting on her sofa reading a bodice-ripper. She seems to have no misgivings about distressing Saul with all this, either. Her halo has slipped and clattered to the floor.

hmmm said...

Mary, I'm not sure that Saul quite understands how dire Greta's situation might be. Why don't you run and get your laptop. You can probably find some photos on the dark web that will really drive the point home.

MissScarlet said...

@KitKat!! ‚ To incite their blood lust‘ ! Did Mary actually say that? Call Dr. Jeff, Mary‘s having a stroke.

Steve said...

Yes KitKat, I don't see the need for Mary to upset Saul even further with these stomach turning details

LouiseF said...

Let's hope that Cola Mary is grabbing from Saul's fridge has enough caffeine to get these two off the dime and at least calling the police to report Greta's disappearance. My guess is that KM thinks she is providing a public service by dwelling on the horrible details of what happens when dogs use smaller dogs to incite their "blood lust", but I'm losing respect for Saul and his devotion to Greta the longer his chat with Mary goes on.

HeavenlyJane said...

I still return to your blog periodically to see if you've returned to us. No one can replace you!

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

“Greedy profit… sadistic enjoyment… baser motives… all at the EXPENSE of INNOCENT creatures! Why, I’m of a mind to leave a very negative review on their Yelp profile! It’s unconscionable that anyone can sit around blithely drinking cola while this secretive blood sport is inciting blood lust! If this goes on much longer all the blood, sweat, and tears and dire euthanasia cases will drive even more veterinarians to suicide! Don’t you agree, Saul? Oh, be a dear and pass me another cola, I think this one’s somehow gone flat.”

KitKat said...

FRIDAY
Today’s second panel: This is turning into a Disney film circa 1959.

MissScarlet said...

@KitKat and @LouiseF I think you may have it! Greta is beginning to organize the troops. Get ready for a break out!

Anonymous said...


"Gee, Mary, that's really interesting. Please tell me more about the horrible things the big dogs do to the bait dogs, and don't spare any of the gruesome details. You see, I'm already half-crazed with dread and worry, and I need that little extra push over the edge before I completely lose it."

"Saul, are you sure?"

"Sarcasm goes right over your head at about mach 3, doesn't it?"

-- Scottie

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

As Greta endures a dark situation and unknown future..

Greta's thought bubble: "Dear God, will I be forced to reunite with that insufferable bowtie-wearing nincompoop? I can see him in my mind's eye smirking mindlessly even now! Now that my blood lust has been irreversibly incited, so help me I'll rend him limb from limb, and that floppy-eared dimwit in the next cage, too!"

Anonymous said...

Eureka! Wanders! Happy dance!

KitKat said...

SUNDAY

Mary’s blustering lecture obscures the fact that she has no idea how she and Saul will rescue Greta and foil the dog-fighting desperados. That doesn’t stop her from picturing herself as the light battling that evil. “Hand me my wooden muffin spoon, I’m ready to rumble!”

KM’s taking a dark turn in today’s last panel - bleah.

KitKat said...

MONDAY
Oh no, Mary’s “include all the stomach-turning details” lecture continues. Tomorrow, she’ll pull out her phone and show photos to Saul.

Anonymous said...


Mary pops a tape in her VCR. "Watch this, Saul. It's called 'Dogs Gone Wild.'" Oh, and you better have another muffin."

-- Scottie

Carlye said...

I have never wanted to slap Mary as much as I do right now.

Anonymous said...

I would love for you to make occasional Mary Worth posts even if you don't do so with the regularity of your pre-retirement schedule!

KitKat said...

TUESDAY
Mary’s plan is to expand the search and include Eve and Max??! Look for Mary to take on Van Man around Independence Day or, more likely, Labor Day. The dog days of summer in Santa Royale….

Thunderheels said...

I love your posts KitKat, but the prospect of this going on to Labor Day is making me up my meds.
Maybe tie a string on a cute dog and when the dog knapper grabs it they have him?

LouiseF said...

Considering how many pet owners probably have their animals microchipped these days, it's hard to imagine the SR police force hasn't been able to track the missing dogs. Sheesh, even "That Darn Cat" (Disney movie from 1965) featured a cat with an electronic device in its collar. And most people can track our phones, let alone our pets... Get with it, SRPD! Obviously Saul and Mary are not up to the challenge.

hmmm said...

Thunderheels - That's too funny! I can picture Pierre sitting under a box trap. Oops, cancel that. You wrote "cute" dog. That leaves Pierre out.

LouiseF - Do microchips act like LoJacks for dogs? I don't think so. I have rescue dogs with microchips, but I think they're only beneficial if the dog gets lost, then found and then the finders can get the microchip scanned to find the owner. No?

Anonymous said...

The strip appears to be stuck. Can someone reset it?
- eev

meg said...

Well, just a dern minute! “Max is a good tracker”? Saul, Saul, Saul, don’t you remember when Max was lost in MW532,879 (March 5, 2021)? He didn’t find himself then- Greta tracked HIM down. The only thing Max has ever tracked is: his supper dish and dirt onto Eve’s carpet.

LouiseF said...

OK, OK, it's true that pet microchips can't be tracked like a phone. Greta and co will likely only be returned to Saul et. al. when the dognappers are caught by the police or our intrepid band of dog lovers, which, given the speed of Saul and Mary, doesn't seem likely any time soon.

Carlye said...

Wait a minute, don't we have two neighbors who are FBI agents? Might it be better than having some old farts and a dog with no nose?

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Eve is a perfect choice to help track down the villains. Of course, the fact that Greta was placed inside a cage inside a van which then drove for several miles will make Max’s vaunted nose embarrassingly useless. But the fact that they each wear matching hobo scarves with a map of Santa Royale’s seedy underground economy embroidered on the back will have them kicking down doors in no time.

KitKat said...

@Ian Cameron, PhD, what a hilarious picture that presents! It could only be improved by the presence of Toby, with a Thermos of margaritas, doing commentary.

LouiseF said...

Thank you, Ian Cameron and KitKat! Your comments are SO much better than the plot..I predict the Scooby team of Eve, Saul, Max, and Mary will find the dognappers because Greta helpfully yanked off her bowtie and left it outside the door of the dognappers dungeon... By the way, my neighbor that has taken to sporting a bowtie on her new chihuahua is now accompanied by another neighbor who has put a bowtie on her cat! Mon dieu! Pas un chat!

Steve said...

Dr. Cameron, I whole heartedly agree that Eve is perfect for this assignment. When they locate the hideout, our rescue team will need someone of Eve's consideration height and bulk to kick in the door and overpower Lyle Lovett and his henchmen. If this a Mission Impossible team, think of Eve playing Peter Lupus. They need to invite Toby along to confiscate Lyle's leftover booze.

Steve said...

Oops. I meant to say considerable, not consideration Dr C, please adjust your grading of my submission accordingly.

Frank Booth said...

A bag of chips and a bottle of champagne?

Anonymous said...


"We'll find her if we have to track down every vehicle in Santa Royale!"

"Uhhh, Saul, not what I signed up for."

-- Scottie

Chester the Dog said...

Yes, that ONE vehicle in Santa Royale.

LouiseF said...

"Hey gang, thanks to Saul's unquestionably accurate memory of where a vehicle turned a week ago, all we have to do is saunter past this fence and count on Max's nose to point us towards the dognappers' hideout. 'Woof' and all that , and we'll have Greta out in a jiffy."

KitKat said...

Wow, June was laying on the sidewalk when she sketched Thursday’s first panel. What a view of Eve’s considerable girth (shout-out to Steve!).

Van Man (hic!) must be Santa Royale’s most inept criminal.

meg said...

Boy howdy, Mary’s really working up a head of steam in her efforts to help.

Also, is Eve riding on Max? Yee-hah, giddyap, little doggie!

And, I hate to be the one to ask, but are Saul and Mary wearing pants?

meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MissScarlet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MissScarlet said...

Wow! Josh (The Comics Curmudgeon) really nailed it. Evil dog-fight guy looks just like Lyle Lovett. Lyle must have fallen on hard times though, since he’s had to resort to cheap dog food and rot gut whiskey. I always pegged him as an Alpo and beer man.

Anonymous said...


Maybe he's saving the EXPENSIVE DOG FOOD for the fighting dogs.

(Jeez, this story sucks swamp water.)

-- Scottie

Thunderheels said...

I don't know if Moy was trying to be funny, but "Cheap Dog Food" and "Rot Gut" was the funniest thing I have seen in this strip since Dr. Drew and Trashlee.
And no, I am not into animal cruelty. I love dogs and tolerate cats.

KitKat said...

It's not just "CHEAP DOG FOOD," it's "CHEAP! DOG FOOD." That exclamation point denotes it as being in the bottom tier of barely non-poisonous canine vittles.

I hope Wanders is still checking in with MW. I think this week would be a hoot for him. (I acknowledge KM again trivializing a serious topic; the only saving factor here is the absolute incompetence of Lyle the Van Man. Anyone who can be outwitted by Mary, Saul, Eve, and Max is the dumbest of the dumb.)

Dave Mac said...

Am I the only one to notice that he left the cage door open after tossing in the handful of CHEAP! DOG FOOD? Now he'll pass out from the ROT GUT liquor and Greta/Noodle escapes. Hopefully we can look forward to the Santa Royale Police chasing Baddie to the tune of Yakkety Sax.

MissScarlet said...

Wow! Dave Mac, good eye! And KiKat, congratulations on “Lyle Van Man”.

Of course Greta had to save herself. Mary, Eve, Max and Saul couldn’t find the dog fights if a giant red arrow in the sky was pointing at them.

KitKat said...

Yakkety Sax - good one, Dave Mac! Watching that chase would be a giggle fest.

Ah, the evils of booze. Lyle Van Man is foiled once again.

Will Greta release any other captives, or is it every dog for himself/herself?

Anonymous said...


Greta breaks out of the building and barks excitedly at a passerby.

"What's that girl? Timmy fell down a well? No? Timmy fell into some quicksand? No? Timmy is running a dog-fighting ring?"

"Woof!"

"Oh come on, now. Not in Santa Royale. I better call the dog catcher."

-- Scottie

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Run, Greta, run! Well spotted, Dave Mac! This is almost as exciting as Robert the Bruce’s daring escape to the Hebrides following the Battle of Methven. (Almost, I said.)

Sadly Mary has spent so long slamming Colas and pontificating that Max can’t possibly have picked up her scent radiating out from inside the mysterious Vehicle several days ago. He’s set off at quite a pace too; I’m afraid our dream team will arrive wheezing at a rotting squirrel carcass and Greta will be stranded across town wandering Skid Row for some time.

What’s this though? There are two entire sacks of non-CHEAP! brand dog food against the back wall! Despite all that HAWing and HICing Lyle Lovett does care after all!

hmmm said...

Well, well. I can see now that this all makes perfect sense! Knowing what a great tracker Max is, you decided to drive him around in your car instead of letting him have a go at picking up Greta's scent on the day she disappeared! Because... um, because... Sorry, can someone remind me why that made sense? Thank you.

meg said...

The next scene will be Greta waking up in her bed at home, yawning and stretching, thinking, “Wow, what an awful dream that was!” Then she’ll eat a big bowl of Expensive! Dog Food.

KitKat said...

How much of Greta’s scent is on that leash after Saul’s been clutching it for two weeks? Maybe Max will keep running up to Saul.

meg said...

Suddenly, Eve’s phone rings. “Hello, Mrs. Lourd? It’s Dr. Harding’s office with the results of Max’s tests. It seems that due to a genetic imperfection, which is frequently seen in mongrel dogs, Max is unable to smell.” “Whaddya mean, my Max doesn’t smell?” “Oh, he smells, that’s for sure, but he CAN’T smell.”

KitKat said...

MONDAY
If the Worthy Awards still existed, today’s second panel would be a candidate for Panel of the Year, puff puff.

Eve and Saul are always dressed for a chilly autumn day in a northern state. Heat exhaustion may set in before Greta appears.

LouiseF said...

Saul running reminds me of someone out of Archie and Jughead. I hope he's taken his heart pills before attempting this feat.

Anonymous said...

They have no idea where they are going but they are running?? Sure, that makes sense. I imagine tomorrow Greta runs smack dam into Max. It’s a really small town, ya know.

meg said...

LouiseF: Saul and Mary look like Principal Weatherbee and Miss Grundy from Archie’s Riverdale High. And Dave Mac, is Yakkety Sax the actual name of the Benny Hill song? It’s officially playing in my head now, over and over and over!

Anonymous said...


TUESDAY

Saul doesn't even loosen his bow tie. What a man!

-- Scottie

MissScarlet said...

Saul is so selfless. He's determined to find his dog. He doesn't know where he's going... but he could be headed for cardiac arrest. Would Moy be that serious?

MissScarlet said...

I don't know about Saul, but I pretty tired of all this running.

Anonymous said...


I'm sorry, but I'll believe two cats and a dog doing synchronized yoga before I'll believe Saul, Eve, and Mary in a full-on sprint.

Moy and Brigman have no shame.

-- Scottie

MDMaryTed said...

This is supposed to take place in California, correct? And it's summer which means it's really hot. Saul is running in a sports coat (probably wool), pants, a long sleeve shirt and a bow tie. Mary and Eve have on long pants and Eve has on a long sleeve top. And no one is sweating or keeling over from the heat. Just what is in Mary's muffins???????

meg said...

This scene seems strangely familiar:

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1264590042/scooby-doo-black-or-white-6-inch

Thunderheels said...

You nailed it, Meg.

MissScarlet said...

@MDMaryTed: weather in CA beach towns (including Santa Barbara) tends to be cool and sometimes foggy in the summer. However, it will be 90 in Santa Barbara tomorrow. So yeah, maybe Saul will kick the bucket just as Greta arrives.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

I'm HUFF! tired of this PUFF! storyline! Should we call it a day?

No, Eve, the night is young and your geriatric adventures in the seamy rotgut-soaked slums of Santa Royale has just begun.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Uh-oh. I think Max has scented the irrestable aroma of CHEAP! brand kibble.

MissScarlet said...

This whole tracking adventure began last Sunday. Today, five days later, the brave band of rescuers appear to be in the warehouse district of Santa Royale. I'm going to predict that tomorrow Max finds Greta but the rest of the motley crew don't show up until Sunday for the grand reunion. Thus, Moy will have stretched this out for an entire week.
Why do we love this blog? We would never be able to sustain interest in the MW strip
unless we amused each other in the meantime.

Anonymous said...

Woof Wanders!
Throw us a bone!

KitKat said...

MissScarlet, it looks like you called it perfectly. Take a bow!

Judi said...

Dogs (and cats) that escape or get lost for whatever reason go into survival mode. They will run from their owners or other attempting to catch them. Even if they do find Greta, she should not instinctively run to Saul. Survival mode means trust no one.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

To pick up on Frank Booth's earlier "don't tell me she's..." contest:

Finish Eve's horrified sentence, as the world turns cornflower blue around her:
"No... is that..."


Here's a first go:
"No... is that... a department store mannequin that somehow reminds me of my late abusive husband, and for some unexplained reason causes me to spontaneously trip and fall over??"

hmmm said...

“No… is that… the Chattanooga Choo Choo?”

fauxprof said...

Chasing a pizza? I now have a mental image of an ambulatory pizza, running from Max like the Gingerbread Man, and shedding toppings and cheese as it goes.

Anonymous said...

No… is that Jimmy Hoffa?!

MissScarlet said...

No...is that a pepperoni pizza?

No...is that Lyle Lovett?

No...is that someone else's dog?

No...is that the real McCoy?

Really, Dr. Cameron's is unbeatable.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

No... is that crossword answer I've been stumped on! (2 letters, clue "that's a negative")

Anonymous said...

“No… is that… Wanders?”

I guess not; bummer.

HelenClark

meg said...

No! Is that a pack of vicious dogs chasing Greta and Holly? If so, it’s everymanwomandogforhimheritself! (shoves Mary and Saul down while running away). Woof!

KitKat said...

“No…is that the ghost of the late Bella, come to take vengeance on Saul for forgetting all about her?”

HelenClark, it’s wonderful to hear from you!

Anonymous said...


Whew, what a relief! I thought Greta was going to die a horrible death. [eye roll]

-- Scottie

Anonymous said...

Thanks, KitKat! I really miss you guys! But I do keep checking in, hoping to see that Wanders has decided to return and put us out of our misery. But so far, I just go back to bed and pull the blankets up over my head.

HelenClark

Frank Booth said...

"Woof" indeed!

meg said...

In his determination to “never let it happen again”, Saul considers and tries a number of protective devices.

A baby sling, with Greta resting crosswise against Saul’s belly… (too silly)
A front-facing pack, Greta looking outward… ( also too silly). A pack with Greta strapped in, almost face to face, with Saul…(dog breath v snuff breath). A backpack, with Greta looking over Saul’s shoulder, making faces at all oncoming pedestrians…
A cute little umbrella-shaded stroller… A little battery-powered red wagon… (has Saul got a remote control in his sweater pocket, or is he just paranoid?)

Saul, unable to decide, calls Mary over for her opinion. “Saul, this is ridiculous! Just hold on to the friggin’ leash when you’re in the park. Ah have spoken.” And just like that, Greta’s future was arranged.

MissScarlet said...

Typically the next week is spent in congratulating Mary on saving the day. But I find myself wondering if they will spend any time thinking about the other dogs who didn't get away. Will they find Lyle Van Man and call the police? Maybe, since LVM is drunk right now they can just take all the dogs to the SPCA themselves. Nah....they would never do that.

Anonymous said...

Wait, is the story over?
What about the other dogs?
Aaaaaargh!!

KitKat said...

This is it? Mary sitting alone on a hillside watching fireworks? No dogs and no muffins?

MissScarlet said...

Happy 4th Wanders!

And all you wonderful people watching fireworks on a hillside.

Anonymous said...


WEDNESDAY

Greta gets the steak bone lodged in her throat and is rushed to Dr. Ed Harding's office. But he and Estelle are canoodling in the supply room. Sadly . . .

-- Scottie

MDMaryTed said...

What about the other dogs? Mary's compassion seems to be limited to those who partake of her muffins and endure her platitudes. Wouldn't this be a great article for Wilbur to write about? He could interview the kidnapped dogs. I figure it will take him about 5 years before he realizes that he can't understand them.

Carlye said...

A few pounds on a dog Greta's size is significant. I'd see if Ed is available to look her over.

Anonymous said...

Greta looks great! It's not like dogs can get psychological damage, right?

- eev

meg said...

eev@1:57-

What kind of psychological damage do you think wearing that darn bow tie causes?

KitKat said...

@eev and @ meg, in addition to psychological damage, what about contact dermatitis, infected fur follicles, and/or other skin conditions?

BTW, am I the only one who at first thought that Greta was eating a slice of devil’s food cake with white icing?

meg said...

HMMMM…Maybe I can make their job EASIER.

Hello, Santa Royale Police? This is Mrs. Mary Worth with some advice for the Major Crimes Squad!

Transferring…press one when you hear the name of your party…
Officer Rod Wyler…Officer Pat Bull…Officer Doug Fitten…Officer Doe Berman…Officer Vic S. Mutt…Sergeant Connie Corso…Captain Ole Yeller…

Click!

Captain Ole Yeller here, how may I help you?

Oh, Captain Yeller, this is Mrs. Mary Worth! You may remember me from the case of the stolen freshly baked muffins from my windowsill, or of the elderly gentleman wearing a speedo while watering his petunias, or of the drunken man singing country and western songs at 9PM…

Oh, yes, of course, Mrs. Worth, what’s troubling you today?

Well, I was able to recover my friend’s dog when she was kidnapped by a dog fighting ring, the same one that kidnapped that white Pekingese Holly from her front yard, and I have advice for you as to how to break up the ring. Just walk down the street we found her on and when you smell a very bad smell and hear lots of barking, just break down the door and save the dogs!

Greatidea!ThankyouverymuchMrs.Worthwe’llgetrightoit.

Click!

Wait, hello, hello, when do I get the reward?

Frank Booth said...

Hmm, maybe I can make their job easier - with a plate of muffins and some unrequested advice!!

meg said...

Next Day’s Headline:

SRPD rescue dozens of grayhairs from forced senior-fighting ring, rescue kidnapped dogs at the same time. Film at 11, featuring an interview with the savvy lady who helped police.

Thunderheels said...

I hope that is not a bran muffin Mary is eating or this will be short stake out.

Judi said...

0n tonight’s 10 PM news, how muffins helped save dogs from a vicious dog fighting ring and how you can make these delicious muffins in your own kitchen!

KitKat said...

I wish Wanders would check in today. Mary doing a stake out at a dog park while clutching a muffin could be a contender for POTY.

@Thunderheels, the muffin blobs could be blueberries, but I’m baffled by the squiggles. Question marks? Worms?

Anonymous said...


You're in trouble now, dognappers. Mary's packing a muffin, and she knows how to use it.

-- Scottie

MissScarlet said...

I'm guessing Mary knows how to make "super" muffins and that that's where her power comes from. What do you think is the secret ingredient? The same secret that was in Gran's (carrot cake?)? Kryptonite? Spinach? I'm gonna guess Splak, since I don't know what that is anyway.

hmmm said...

Mary’s all set for breakfast but if she’s planning on spending the entire day doing surveillance, I hope she’s brought along some additional Chow. Maybe some Weiners for lunch and a Shepherd’s pie for dinner.

Chester the Dog said...

Mary seems to have mistook her muffin for a CB radio mike.

MDMaryTed said...

I think KM reads this blog and all our comments about Mary's muffins and deliberately put in that panel with Mary holding the muffin. Either that or since Mary's muffins are known Santa Rosa wide, she plans on luring out the dog thieves with them.

Frank Booth said...

Go ahead, make my day.

Anonymous said...


@Frank

Ha haaaaa!

Mary spots a woman leaving the dog park. Mary sees no evidence that this dog belongs to that woman. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. But this is no time to play it safe. Mary springs into action.

"FREEZE, SCUMBAG! I'm holding a 44-magnum muffin, the most powerful baked good in the world. So you've got to ask yourself a question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

-- Scottie

KitKat said...

That’s hilarious, @Scottie!

Sunday: Mary has both muffins and her super-duper ginormous field glasses, the ones she uses for surveillance at Charterstone. Will she confront Lyle the Van Man herself (we hope so!) or merely report his license plate number to the police (boring!)?

Frank Booth said...

Bad boys, bad boys what'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when Mary comes for you?
Bad boys, bad boys what'cha gonna do?
What'cha gonna do when Mary comes for you?

Frank Booth said...

@Scottie, haha

I know what you're thinking. Did she bake six muffins or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself.

Baffled in Buffalo said...

Am I being silly, or doesn't the tree in the backround in the cel where smirky Dognapper strides forth look like a pistachio muffin on a stick?

meg said...

WAIT…WHAT’S THAT?

a. Is that man on his way to the Lyle Lovett Lookalike contest at the Civic Center?
b. I thought the Lyle Lovett tribute band concert was to be in Goleta….
c. Someone needs to wash his car- I’ll go over and remind him.
d. HMMPH! How dare he speak to me that way?

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

This is long, tedious work! Lots of watching and waiting… hats off to MW readers who do this day in, day out!

Anonymous said...


Continuing with the Clint Eastwood theme, let's narrow our eyes and fix our gaze on "High Plains Meddler."

-- Scottie

Anonymous said...

"ma'am, you must have mistaken us for nextdoor."
-eev

KitKat said...

Lyle the Van Man calls the police: “I’m at the McLaren Dog Park and I saw a suspicious person parked in a gray sedan. Female, maybe mid to late 80s, maybe older. Dressed all in purple, scarfing down muffins. She’s got a gigantic pair of binoculars and was visually menacing me. The car’s license plate number is….”

Frank Booth said...

How can Mary see out of those car windows? They look all fogged up or something.

TimP said...

I am here for vigilante Mary!

meg said...

I am hoping that Lyle is an equal opportunity inter species kidnapper who will take Mary home to his single wide and force her to bake muffins for him and his ‘associates’.

Or that there will be a wild car chase with Mary in her Oldsmobuick closely following Lyle in his van. Whatever you do, Mary, don’t ride the brake!

Or that she’s arrested for policing without a license.

MissScarlet said...

Oh, I'm really hoping that after Mary recites the van's license plate number, she personally stops Lyle Van Man from stealing a dog. Lyle decides to use Mary as bait instead, since she smells like muffins anyway and everyone knows that fighting dogs love baked goods. Will the police make it in time?

KitKat said...

What, it’s over already? Was Mary the source of the “numerous tips”? She might’ve disguised her voice in repeated calls. So much for her tackling Lyle and sitting on him while making a citizen’s arrest. Somehow, she’ll take a victory lap the rest of this week anyway.

Anonymous said...


Mary doesn't just dump a bunch of popcorn in a pot and hope for the best, she pops each kernel individually to assure quality.

-- Scottie

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud to see Mary eating popcorn and watching the local news! Great entertainment for Mary!

LouiseF said...

"Caught in the act"! Mary will be studying for her private eye license by next week, but only to use in a remake of the movie "Pet Detective". Move over, Jim Carrey!

MissScarlet said...

Sheesh! What a let down. Mary even eats her popcorn plain.

meg said...

Management welcomes you to the latest installment of Disappointing Denouement Theatre. No car chase, no hand to hand combat, no yapping dogs, no slug of rotgut for the victor, but smug Mary keeps on munching.

Carlye said...

The way Mary is chowing down every time we see her, I'm wondering how long it will be before Jeff bans her from the boat for having too much extra "cargo".

KitKat said...

You can tell how bad conditions at the dogfighting kennel are by those misshapen and crooked capital letters. GRRR, RARRR, ROWLF! The bags of CHEAP! dog food are nearby.

Mary’s got an iron grip on that massive bowl o’ popcorn. Imagine Wilbur trying to wrestle it away from her.

LouiseF said...

The size of Mary's popcorn bowl seems to indicate that she spends a good deal of time in front of the TV, possibly waiting to learn if she will be nominated Santa Royale Citizen of the Year for her amateur police work. "Meanwhile" I am hoping those dogs are not currently in custody of Santa Royale Animal Control. Those officers look a bit too perplexed to be handling dogs.

MissScarlet said...

@Louise. I too was wondering why the animal control officers were looking so confused. Then I realized that the cage they were looking at holds a tiger and a bear. Wow! That was some dog fighting organization. They trained their dogs to fight with wild animals. I know bears are omnivores, but I wonder if tigers like CHEAP dog food?

Anonymous said...


THURSDAY

This looks like a job for . . . The Euthanizer! (And we all know who that is.)

-- Scottie

Frank Booth said...

Those are some very thin bars on the cages, just sayin'...

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

So many lucky undead dogs! (June seems to be having fun with us; some of those may be hyenas or dingoes actually).

This is a perfect time for Saul to kidnap Mary and take her to Animal Shelter to adopt that bedraggled yet rabid terrier-Shih Tzu mix with irreversibly incited Blood Lust.

LouiseF said...

Ohhh! that sad looking dog might be the unlucky Noodle. Noodle's human will be ever so grateful, although clearly SHE didn't care enough about Noodle to organize a search patrol the way Saul, Mary, and Eve did. And it would help with future missions to find the lost Noodle if the dog adopted the practice of wearing a bow tie or a hair scunci or some infantile sign of a human's devotion..

KitKat said...

Not only are the cage bars very thin, as noted by @Frank Booth, there are no bottoms, either (at least in the one in panel 2).

Anonymous said...


FRIDAY

Apparently the S.R.P.D. doesn't have a lot to do if they can remember what's on missing-dog posters on the edge of town. Which, as Mary's much more successful twin sister Martha likes to say, is a good thing.

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

All Noodle needs is a nice bath and perky bow, and she will be Worthiverse-presentable!

MissScarlet said...

Uh oh...someone better tell Noodles' owner that the SR animal control officers are about to take her dog to the (dum de dum dum) vet. There is only one in town and as @Scottie has pointed out, he's into killing dogs off.

meg said...

I believe that Noodle was actually one of Greta’s jailhouse nicknames; her little buddy was ‘La La’. The missing white Pekingese (who was taken from her yard) was Holly. Don’t know if the dirty little dawgie is Holly needing a bath. But if she is, that may be Mary’s ticket to the victory lap. “Yes, officer, I saw Holly’s owner on tv, bla bla bla. Don’t euthanize her, bro!”

MissScarlet said...

Wow Meg! That was amazing!

MissScarlet said...

Will the Santa Royale Police Department have to remind Mary (for the 15th time) that they cannot divulge the names of people under arrest? Or the whereabouts of evidence?

KitKat said...

Going to that crackpot vet Harding was a mistake, Saul. Does he still have that ditzy volunteer receptionist dispensing dubious advice?

I suppose Greta is pining for her prisoner friend La La (thanks, meg, your memory is impeccable!). Somehow, some way, Mary will reunite them. That will happen around Halloween.

meg said...

I predict they’ll fall into each other’s paws at the vet’s office by the end of the week, latest. This strip is just a few mutts away from being all canines, all the time. Will Pierre fall for Holly? Will Max become jealous of the attention the other dogs are getting, and bite a few ankles? Will Mr. Alora introduce his never-before-mentioned chihuahua to the Charterstone campus? And most importantly, who’s gonna clean up all the ensuing, er, debris?

MissScarlet said...

I agree that sentient Greta is missing her friend from her dog-napping time of trauma, but I don't get how they will get together. Surely, her owner won't shy away from La La's injuries, will she? Perhaps, they will just be visiting friends and Saul will manage to get a little side action in the bargain. A girl can dream, right?

meg said...

This is where the Great Mary, finder of lost pups, identifier of suspicious leash holders, and the GOAT of Meddlers- comes in.

She saw the owner of the stolen-from-the-yard Pekingese on television. She will call the tv station, talk to the reporter, and get Holly’s address. (This is after Saul calls to tell Mary about Greta’s malaise,and mentions that the Dog Recovery Squad has brought in a filthy Pekingese who turned out to be snowy white after a bath.).

Aha! Says our heroine, and she jumps into the OldBatMobile and speeds forthwith to 221B Baker Lane to give the great news to Holly’s owner. Mary drives her to the vet, and joy ensues. Next up: Mary rides a little donkey through the streets and is hailed as a saint.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Oh no! She's lost her pep? Welp, guess its another one of those dire euthanasia cases then.

Frank Booth said...

All the other dogs made fun of Greta's bow tie and it suddenly dawned on her how ridiculous she looks. Woof!

KitKat said...

Hey, there’s a secret message in Estelle’s sticky notes! What’s the connection between “CALL MARY” and “CAT LITTER”? Is it related to muffins?

@Frank Booth, I think you’re on to something with the bow tie. Besides looking ridiculous, how tight is it, and what does Greta skin look like underneath it after years of constantly wearing it? Dr. Ed: “Mr. Wynter, your dog has the worst case of contact dermatitis I’ve ever seen, and it’s terminal.”

Thunderheels said...

Meg! That is great.
If I recall correctly Saul was a Marine. Like all branches, one of the basic beliefs is "No man left behind". Greta realizes she left Lala to the clutches of the Lyle Lovett loo alike and failed to rescue her. She is upset about that, but is also depressed because she sees herself as failing in Saul's eyes too.
Mary will come in with a special puppy muffin, Lala will appear and all will be well.

Anonymous said...


@Meg

The OldBatMobile! Hahahahahahaha! That's great!

-- Scottie

LouiseF said...

Perhaps Dr. Harding can suggest a dachsund depression support group for Greta.

MissScarlet said...

I would not be allowed to bring my dog to my vet without a leash. Wouldn't you think Saul would have figured that out by now?

Also, I don't think Saul should use the word "down" around Harding. Don't give him any ideas.

meg said...

Thanks for reminding me that Saul was a Marine, Thunderheels. You’ve made me remember why Saul has always seemed so familiar. He looks exactly like Cotton Hill, the father of Hank, in “King of the Hill”! That show is making a comeback soon with a new series.

LouiseF said...

Way to go, Saul! Right for the medication that will bring Greta back to her bouncy self. She really needs to be able to talk through her survivor guilt over getting out of Stalag FightBait while leaving her fellow prisoners behind. Maybe assign her to the SR Animal Control Patrol. They look as if they could use the advice of an actual dog...

Anonymous said...


Perhaps some synchronized yoga would help.

-- Scottie

MissScarlet said...

Maybe Greta is depressed because she's back with 'ole man Winter'. Maybe she felt excited and stimulated by her life in the Stalag. Maybe she's a hero at heart. Greta the Hero-wienie!! (Halloween costumes on sale soon. Order yours now!).

KitKat said...

Stalag FightBait - good one, LouiseF!

Apparently Harding’s clients have never met a leash or a pet carrier. There must be frequent dust-ups with animals leaping from their owners’ arms and snarling (or worse) at each other.

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