Erm... Scott, on your way to your local honeymoon destination is probably not the best time to bring up Ted Confey. Maybe before you proposed. Yeah, that would have been a better time to assess Adrian's feelings about her former fiance. But now, you just come across as insecure. It's very unattractive. I'm sure Ted was never so insecure.
Please... stop the car... I need you to let me out... I do not want to be here... I do not want to go on this honeymoon. I keep waiting for the story to change, but each day brings us closer to their local honeymoon destination. Let the couple have their privacy. Spare me.
For three days we've watched Scott pack that trunk with about as much hand-me-down luggage as it can hold, and where are they going? Northern Santa Royale? That sounds pretty remote. Be sure to pack your microwave so you can make popcorn.
Kids, let this be a lesson to you. Jill Black could have easily saved 700,000 French Pacific Francs if she hadn't gotten so drunk at last night's rehearsal dinner. 
If you think things have been exciting this week as Adrian has read Jill's letter, just wait until next week when Scott reads it!
You mean, erase from our memories the most memorable, spectacular, excellent moment in Mary Worth in 2010? A moment so awesome that Joe Giella has chosen to recreate it for today's strip just to remind us of what you want us to erase? Consider it erased.
"It doesn't matter how... It doesn't matter that you were a fool to lose $50,000 to a con man... it doesn't matter that you fell in love with the cop who 'saved' you... it doesn't matter that you make three times as much money as him... What matters is that you are both desperate enough to think you're happy together..."
"I'd know that handwriting anywhere... it's on all of my performance reviews."
Well, it was a lovely wedding... We gathered together at the Church of Math to add one man and one woman together to make one flesh, as the Bible says.
I was a little surprised when the bride's father got disoriented and walked her down the side aisle of the church, but it gave those of us with bad seats and bad mustaches a better look at all the features to love on the bride's dress.
It was a bit stunning when William Shakespeare arrived and quoted from Henry VI, Part III. In fact, it was horribly inappropriate, as Shakespeare usually is when he appears in Mary Worth. He quoted from a scene when the spineless king decides he'd rather meditate than rule, so he asks two of his former enemies to rule jointly in his stead by joining their hearts together. One of the two men pretty quickly turns back against the king and helps slay his son, if I'm remembering right, which I think I am. Anyway, I hope this isn't going to doom the marriage...
The minister had barely started the service, when Shakespeare began to read Venus and Adonis. "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain..." except he said "comforts" instead of "comforteth" so that the groom's friends wouldn't get confused. Also, the poem was way too long and is perhaps his most erotic work. I was really embarrassed for William Shakespeare.
Everyone was really happy and jumped up and started to congratulate the couple, but then the minister asked us to quiet down because he wasn't done yet. Eventually, Mr. and Dr. Scott Hewlett were happily married. I just hope that nothing insane happens at the reception, like some crazy drunk crashing through the wall of the caterer's and ruining the cake...
That's right! Because this is a rehearsal dinner for those who can handle their liquor. What right does she have to show up if she can't manage a little booze? What kind of wedding would it be if the wedding party showed up without a hangover? Now someone get me another gin.
In her alcohol-fueled rage against the holiest of unions, Jill finds the strength of seven men, enough to easily withstand being forcefully removed by her assailants, Crippled Cop and Mr. Wobbly Knees, as she declares to the world that she isn't finished yet! Awesome! I for one look forward to this tirade continuing throughout the holiday season. Thank you Karen Moy for this delightful Christmas present.
While Scott and Jeff quietly escort the maid of honor out of the restaurant to drive herself home, I just want to recommend to everyone John Gary's Christmas Album. It's one of my all-time favorites, and very soothing after watching Jill make such a scene at the rehearsal dinner-slash-reception-slash-wedding.
And with one swift karate chop to Scott's throat, the marriage is off.
Negative? Jill's been negative? I hadn't noticed. I did notice that she tried to choose the dress. I did notice that she tried to choose the invitations. I did notice that she tried to break up Adrian and Scott. But I hadn't really noticed a negative 'spin.' I just assume, come the wedding day, it will be Jill walking down the aisle with Adrian's dad who will give her away, and Jill just wants to make sure everything is ready for the big day. Is that so negative?
A few weeks? Your boring and uninspired wedding announcements aren't even back from the printer yet. You two are way behind schedule. Plus, Adrian needs to dye her hair again. Her blond roots are showing.
I think Mary Worth just found her new pupil. Over the coming months, Mary will mentor Jill in the finer subtleties of meddling. Jill will transform from whiny criticizer to evil persuader, able to instill her will on any victim. But will the transformation be soon enough to make sure Adrian doesn't look like a joke when she walks down the aisle?
Thank heaven for hospital administrators like Jill Black, who feels so passionately about keeping things exciting and inspired that she's willing to use one of her three wishes to destroy any vestige of happiness to which these two losers cling.
Score! I'm so glad Adrian brought a man along to put Jill in her place! Of course, Jill is going to go home now and kill herself since Scott has obviously opened the wound that cannot heal.
No, Scott doesn't like anything that is too busy. That's why he's marrying Adrian.
I'm convinced that Adrian is just bringing Jill along for the laughs. "Scott, you have to be there. Jill is hilarious. It's like her brain has no filters. And she gets Mary Worth all worked up, so it's twice the fun!"