Mary Worth 1,104

Poor Gina. She's really had a cross to bear, making sacrifices for her family. It just doesn't seem fair. Stupid family.

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Mary Worth 1,103

There's something else?? You mean something that is different from Jenna and Mike and Liza and Lynn and Jill and Adrian... all of whom were darn certain love was not for them because of something that happened in their past? There's something else? Coooool.

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Mary Worth 1,102

First Date Conversation: "There really isn't that much to tell. I'm a waitress. I'm in the witness protection program. And the love of my life is Bobby Black, who I haven't seen since I was 14. What else would you like to know about me?"

Edited to add: How many fingers does Mary have on her hand today?

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Mary Worth 1,101

"I've been using my ponytail as an antenna to transmit my love thoughts, but so far... no response."

Just a heads up. We received a recorded telephone message from Pepco, our power company, that went something like this: "Hi, in case you aren't familiar with our horrible reputation, we wanted to let you know that we plan to fail at keeping your lights on during the coming storm." So, given Hurricane Irene's impact here in Maryland, I may not be able to keep up on Mary Worth for a few days. Hopefully I won't miss anything exciting.

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Mary Worth 1,100

It's hard to get over your 14-year-old crush, isn't it? Who among us hasn't looked back on that innocent time of acne and hormones with a sweet longing that throws us into a tailspin or self pity and despair over Fate's cruel blows, driving us to share our heartache with any passing stranger to the neglect of Table 7.

My 14-year-old crush was Jenny Johnson. How I pined for her, until Fate's cruel blow... wait a minute. No, I moved on. When I was FIFTEEN.

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Mary Worth 1,099

"Bobby's words sank deep in my heart. From that moment on, I swore I would never change. And, that, Mary, is why I still wear this ponytail."

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Mary Worth 1,098

Even though my heart was broken, I was so excited to visit Bobby at his tree and tell him that my father had witnessed a gruesome mob-related killing and we were joining the witness protection program and that we would be living in Santa Royale, California, and changing our name to Baroni. We couldn't keep in touch for safety reasons, but he could always look up at the moon and know that I'd be looking at the same moon and thinking of his deflated basketball.

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Mary Worth 1,097

Well, I go to the beach for a couple of days, and when I come back, the story seems stalled. However, the setting is moving forward so I figure I'll just go with it. I'm glad to see they're back in Diner, though, because it's been on my mind. As we were passing through Seaford, Delaware, we came across this fine eating establishment:



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Mary Worth 1,096

Of course. Because the Baroni family is Italian. And all New York Italian families witness gruesome mob-related killings all the time.

I am not much for predicting where a storyline may be headed; I mean, what's the point? But in this case, I'm hoping that the Baroni family moves to California, and Gina, totally blown by Fate's cruel hand, never sees Bobby again. But fortunately, Fate's other hand, the kind one, has introduced her to Mary Worth. And Mary Worth knows Wilbur Weston. And Wilbur Weston knows a little something about a thing called Facebook.

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Mary Worth 1,095

Holy cow! Triple Face Touch! I think that's a new record. And it's a good thing they all touched their faces -- otherwise, how else would we know they were scared.

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Mary Worth 1,094

Dad looked like he had seen a ghost. But his alleged reflection was grinning from ear to ear. We all knew how Dad's reflection loved ghosts.

Dear readers, thank you for watching Maggie's video of the Katy Perry song yesterday. She really appreciated everyone's encouragement.

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Mary Worth 1,093

Someone please remind me which New York borough it is where every single person is white?

Yesterday, I asked you to indulge my son's video of my messy garage. I have another video I want to ask you to watch. My sixteen-year-old daughter met a couple of A&R reps with two major recording labels who gave her a lot of encouragement. They were really kind to her and asked her for a recording of her singing, so she posted a video on YouTube. She'd like to generate some buzz for it, and although I'm completely biased, I think you'll like it. If you click this link to the YouTube video, and if you enjoy the performance, please click the "like" button, leave some feedback, or share it with a friend. It would mean a lot to her. However, I am not adding it to the Charterstone Jukebox. The Condo Board would definitely not approve.

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Mary Worth 1,092

Uh, Mary, could you please remind Gina one more time that this story is supposed to be about her father?

I laughed at today's strip because my son just put up a skateboard montage on YouTube this weekend, so I told him I'd post it to my blog in honor of Gina's childhood happiness.




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Mary Worth 1,091

Then again, some mundane things are just mundane...

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Mary Worth 1,090

Thank you, Mary, for reminding Gina that her story is supposed to be about her father. Not some boy she was crushing on when she was ten.

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Mary Worth 1,089

Just two peas? In a pod? Without any chaperone peas? Most pods I've seen have a lot of peas, looking after each other. Responsible peas don't let two kid peas couple up at such a ridiculously young age.

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Mary Worth 1,088

"Bobby B. was amazing! How I used to shiver inside when he walked around the streets of New York with his deflated basketball. Until one night, he broke into our home because Dad had never installed bars on the windows of our first floor New York apartment. But other than being a criminal mastermind, he was dreamy."

Something about Bobby Black reminds me of Bobby Brown...




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Mary Worth 1,087

We didn't know a lot of things in ol' New York: The fork goes on the left, don't eat butter... I didn't even know a different way to style my hair. Still don't. Just put it in a ponytail, and cut the end off straight.

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Mary Worth 1,086

Karen Moy LOVES me! She knows how I respond to the most beautiful words in the Worthiverse: I'm going to tell you a story. Never doubt Karen Moy's love for me. The following panels prove the extent of that love!


"Never Walk Your Daughter Down the Aisle
Without a Groom at the Other End."


"Why Bonnie Compulsively Shops"

"The Man Who Got Away"
(or, "Why I Date Your Father")

"Why I Faint When I Skate"

"My Compulsion to Help Others"

Mary Worth 1,085

You shouldn't give up on love until you are at least 34. No one falls in love after 34, of course, but you're barely 30.


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Mary Worth 1,084

Maybe. But I'm guessing you won't. I'm guessing Wednesday. Wednesday you'll find out.

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Mary Worth 1,083

"Fate has dealt me a cruel blow! My ponytail is permanent." But don't worry Gina. Once Mary shows you all the gorgeous chicks in Santa Royale that rock the pony tail, you'll know that love IS meant for you.


Jenna!

Lynn!


Vera!


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Mary Worth 1,082

I've learned three things today that I didn't know yesterday:

1) Gina is attractive.
2) She has loved before, but doesn't think she will find love again.
3) Middle aged men in mom pants hit on waitresses all the time.

What kind of person takes a job that requires her to be hit on by middle aged men in mom pants? Unless it is just for the laughs. Dear readers, if you have been a waitress, can you please share your story? Were you hit on frequently by middle aged men in mom pants? And why didn't you think you would ever find love again?

Today's Full Strip

Hershey (Trailer) Park: The Flabbiest Place on Earth

We took a rather spontaneous trip north to scenic Hershey, Pennsylvania, yesterday to enjoy a day at Hershey Park. It has been one of Mrs. Wanders’ and my favorite amusement parks in the area for the last six or seven years. It has always felt very family friendly, with an excellent selection of roller coasters for our teenagers.

But Monday was Hillbilly Day at Hershey Park. I’m not sure of the details, but there must have been some sort of promotion. I think if you wore a muscle shirt you got in for half price because I have never seen so many muscle shirts in one place. Ninety percent of all males, ages ten to 75 were wearing them, most of whom should have stopped wearing them 40 pounds ago.

The first muscle shirt we saw was in the parking lot, and this was on the only guy we saw who actually looked qualified to wear a muscle shirt -- perhaps overly qualified. His wife was unloading the kids from their car when we pulled in behind them. He stood there the entire time with his arms sticking out from his torso as if there were some sort of magnetic pole pushing his biceps away from his pecs. He glanced down at his veiny arms every chance he got.

I have always subscribed to Mr. Fred Rogers’ philosophy penned in song:

Everybody’s special
Everybody’s fine;
Your body’s special,
And so is mine.

All of us have different bodies, with different challenges, and that’s okay. But dress accordingly. Most men, if not all, should not wear muscle shirts. If I had seen one more man boob hanging out of its sleeve hole, I would have retched. I’m not sure what the appeal of wearing a muscle shirt is, except perhaps at the gym. But if I pay $50 for an event ticket, I promise you I am not going to wear gym clothes.

Men used to attend amusement parks in slacks and a sports shirt, and perhaps a hat. I’m not advocating that, but the muscle shirt, goatee, beer belly combination is a pretty sorry statement about how we feel about ourselves. Add a pair of short pants and some ill-advised tattoos and we’ve slipped down the social ladder about as low as we can go.

Mary Worth 1,081

No, dear, my GENEROUS TIP was to pay your tuition bills that are accruing presently. Bring me another healthy salad, and I'll pay the medical bills.

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