Mary Worth 1,201 part 2

Also, if you separate them and it turns out she's not Emily Smith, you could be arrested for kidnapping when the police arrive.

This is really just a test post to see if I can post using my iPhone because I will be traveling all next week.

Mary Worth 1,201

Bill the Manager is gonna be steamed when he finds out that Bree the Waitress has been giving away free bowls of rainbow swirl ice cream.

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Mary Worth 1,200

McThuggy finally realizes why the "Good Eats" Diner's marketing slogan is "Where the *&^%$#@ is that waitress?"

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Mary Worth 1,199

...she asks, holding her pad and pencil in her hand, staring out the window at the cars in the parking lot. Hmmm.

I love that Mary Worth's palette is so intense it cannot be contained by her scarf.

Hundreds have voted for the 2011 Mary Worth Worthy Awards. You have until December 31 to cast your vote!

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Mary Worth 1,198

Mary, that's an excellent idea! Why don't you go move your car now?

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Mary Worth 1,197

NO! NOT HER HER HAIR!!? HE DIDN'T CUT HER HAIR?! OH NOOOOoooo! NO ONE IN SANTA ROYALE CUTS THEIR HAIR! OH, THE INHUMANITY! THE INHUMANITY!

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Mary Worth 1,196

Either the waitress has brought a new place mat to Emily to color while she waits for dessert, or she's playing with leftover chicken fingers that look like actual fingers... cooool.

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Mary Worth 1,195

Under distress, we can all say stupid things. McThuggy is older relative to whom? Emily? I should hope so. Mary Worth? I should hope not.

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Mary Worth 1,194

If McThuggy suddenly tries to leave, another stalling technique Bree can use is to wrap him up in her elastic arm and hold him until the police arrive.

Mary Worth 1,193

"Rainbow Swirl, as in That's what your gonna see when I whack you on the back of the head with our industrial sized KitchenAid mixer."

Faithful reader "howardsgirlfriend" pointed out that our current story is ripped from the headlines in this 2005 CNN News article. It's really worth the read. Very touching.

Mary Worth 1,192

An old lady and a waitress fighting in Diner's parking lot aren't going to attract any attention. I'm sure McThuggy is thinking to himself, "This is a very fancy establishment. I wonder who works here?"

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Mary Worth 1,191

Oh, wouldn't it just figure that Bree of all people is on duty now. Bree, Employee of the Month three months in a row for her swift and efficient customer service! This job would be much better suited for Gina or Allison, but alas, we have to settle for Bree. What a turn of events! How will she ever stall McThuggy and poor Emily Smith?

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Mary Worth 1,190

Meanwhile, Bree's manager is making a phone call to the police, "Some old lady just kidnapped my waitress!"

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Mary Worth 1,189

Except for one obvious detail. Emily has long hair in the poster, and the girl in the diner has short hair. Duh. If the story of Gina and Bobby taught us anything, it's that no one ever cuts their hair in the Worthiverse.

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2011 Worthy Award Nominees

Yes, it's time to announce the nominees for the 2011 Worthy Awards. The Condo Board has finished its weeks-long deliberations and is thrilled with this year's slate. Your job, now, is to vote in each category to select the year's finest achievements. So cast your votes before the end of the year. Winners will be announced in early January.

And now, drum roll please. The nominees are:

Online Surveys & Market Research

To submit your vote, be sure to click the "Cast Your Vote" button at the bottom of each category's ballot.

Online Surveys & Market Research

Online Surveys & Market Research

Online Surveys & Market Research

Online Surveys & Market Research

Mary Worth 1,188

It looks like Mary and Bree have already found a booth to sit in and drink coffee while ignoring all the other customers. Things never change at Diner.

Mary Worth 1,187

I know exactly how Mary Worth feels.

When I was a kid, I believed that Charles Schulz was was following me around, documenting my life. Frequently, I would open the funny pages to read Peanuts, and something would happen to Charlie Brown that had actually happened to me the previous day. I was terrible at baseball, but loved the game. I had a huge crush on a little red haired girl, but I couldn't speak to her. I never got Valentine's Day cards, and I was invited to parties only by mistake.

But as I grew older, I started to realize that it only felt that way. That actually, I wasn't Charlie Brown and that getting over my feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem was part of growing up. Charles Schulz couldn't possibly be following me around.

But then...

After Mrs. Wanders -- whose first name is Michelle -- and I got engaged, I took an internship in Washington D.C., and she remained in school in Cincinnati. We didn't have enough money to do much traveling back and forth, and in those days, you paid by the minute for long distance calls. So we wrote letters (I still have a box full of those letters).

I missed Michelle terribly. So imagine my surprise when I opened up the comics in the Washington Post and saw this!

Charles Schulz freaked me out again!

Countdown to Christmas with the Peanuts Gang at GoComics.com

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Mary Worth 1,186

"Plus, I'm cold. I could use a sweater. I wonder if there's a decent diner close by where I can get a warm meal and a free sweater."

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Mary Worth 1,185

I think I'm losing my memory. I can't remember the plot of this story. Can someone help me out?

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Mary Worth 1,184

Emily Smith. Ten. Blond. Blue eyes. Girl. There really aren't that many details to remember, so that's probably why you can remember them despite your dementia.

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Mary Worth 1,183

"Here, Amy, let me shove this hot dish into your lame arm."

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Mary Worth 1,182

You may think it's the tallest oven range in the world, but I believe the Tappan Fabulous 400 is bigger.



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Mary Worth 1,181

Goleta? That explains why Mary said, "ANOTHER" missing child in yesterday's strip. Here's a story about a child that went tragically missing from Goleta 50 years ago. Recent memory for Mary Worth.

And, yes, duh, I know Goleta didn't exist 50 years ago. Who doesn't know that?

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Mary Worth 1,180

My stars! What is Santa Royale coming to? First pickpockets, and now kidnappers?

Just one note: Has anyone else noticed that the first picture for a new story is always the best drawn?

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Mary Worth 1,179

Looks like they finished eating the cake. Or was it stolen?

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Mary Worth 1,178

O, what disappointment. I thought Toby was saying "We have to be vigilanties." But then I realized you don't spell vigilante with an "i," or an exclamation point.

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Mary Worth 1,177

We must never forget... there will always be someone with a worse Thanksgiving dinner than you.

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Mary Worth 1,176

I need some advice. I made a list of everything that's in my wallet, and somebody stole my list. I've got a feeling this is going to last forever.

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Mary Worth 1,175

I am so reassured by Toby's words after what I've been through the last few days.

First, let me apologize to all my loyal readers and to Karen Moy for yesterday's horrible post. My iPhone was stolen, and along with it, my identity!

I left my iPhone sitting on top of my car while I went into the grocery store on Thursday afternoon. I thought it would be safe there. But when I came back, someone had stolen it! I was shocked. What is happening in this world?

Fortunately, I had made a list of all my iPhone contacts - about 4,000. I called everyone on my list and told then that if they got a call from someone claiming to be me, that it wasn't really me, someone had stolen my identity!

Then I called the police.

On Friday, I tried to sign onto my blog, but the password had been changed. I read the post that the new me had tried to write about Toby being so angry she was turning into the Incredible Hulk. It was a nice try, but not quite up to par.

Then Saturday, no post. I thought that was okay, that's alright. The real me doesn't post every day, why should the fake me? But then, on Sunday, the fake me hit the breaking point, and posted his outburst. That was the clue the police needed. They found the thief, curled up in Barnes and Noble, lying on the comics section of the local paper, with 27 empty cups of Starbucks coffee strewn around him, weeping silently.

He just couldn't take it, it turns out. He wasn't cut out for anything as sophisticated as being me, nor could he handle the genius of Mary Worth.

I want to give a very special thanks to the brilliant Karen Moy for helping me get my iPhone back. Your writing has taken down one more criminal.

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Mary Worth sUcks

I hate Mary worth. This
Strip
Sucks.

Anothere boring identity
Theft story?????

Is Karen Moy crazy? She treats us like morons.

You people are idiots for reading this comic strip.

How much pain can you take??

Do you hate yourselves

Something's happening!

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Mary Worth 1,173

Let me help us all:

www.experian.com
www.equifax.com
www.transunion.com

You're welcome.


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Mary Worth 1,172

I must confess that my heart rate accelerated when I read panel one. The evil gleam in Mary's eye could only mean one thing: VIGILANTE!

Or a trip to the DMV. Either one.

Mary Worth 1,171

Toby closes her eyes whenever she tells lies to Mary.

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Mary Worth 1,170

We have our first ever Mary Worth Copycat Crime! I hope the weight of her responsibility in this case doesn't discourage Karen Moy from pursuing more exciting crime stories.

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Mary Worth 1,169

"Better Buy." Get it? It's word play on the popular retail chain "Good Buy." Sadly, "Good Buy" was run out of business by "Better Buy." And soon, "Better Buy" will close its doors when that well known retailer "Even Better Buy" comes to town.

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Mary Worth 1,168

There's nothing I find more exciting than calling my credit card company. Well, maybe watching someone call their credit card company. Or reading a story about it.

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Mary Worth 1,167

"It's my incantation for Substitutiary Locomotion. Treguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis Dee. With this, I'll be able to turn all the zoo animals into soccer players and they'll beat the living blazes out of the New York Blazes. Gina is going to regret skipping town without so much as a thank you note."

Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Anyone? No? Okay... When I post late at night, I get a little obscure, I guess.


Speaking or witchcraft, for your viewing enjoyment, here's a link to the pilot episode of "Once Upon a Time." I've been watching this new series on ABC with my kids and we've been loving it. A lot.




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Mary Worth 1,166

This is exactly the kind of publicity the Lemon Wedge doesn't need. But thank heaven Toby is such an expert on personal security. She'll be a great help to Mary during this time of crisis.

But how did Mary know who it was? It was obvious: They were rude, and looked like criminals. That's all the evidence Mary needs.

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Mary Worth 1,165

I think faithful reader Birdie is right: Alison at Diner is in deep, deep trouble. And Alison has a motive. Mary always left her biggest tips for Gina, but only 12 percent to Alison.

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Mary Worth 1,164

This restaurant seems to have more table trouble than others. Every day, from every angle, the tables are mean and menacing. I am looking forward to Mary and Gina getting out of this House of Table Horrors.

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Mary Worth 1,163

This looks like a job for Chin Napkin! Fortunately, Chin Napkin has not been so bored by this conversation ("I've installed the latest security software. It was an automatic upgrade. I clicked on Approve.") that he missed the two suspicious lowlifes passing unusually close to Mary Worth's purse on their way out of the restaurant. He also observed that they left only a 10 percent tip. Scum bags.

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Mary Worth 1,162

Nice locket, dude. Did you get that from the last old lady you robbed?

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Mary Worth 1,161

I thought this platitude was a bit awkward until I read it in context. I'll attribute it to William Arthur Ward if Karen Moy won't.

Mary Worth 1,160

So many deformities in one restaurant. A headless waiter approaches Toby to take her order and to ask her not to play with her flatware until the food is served. Poor Sweater Vest was severed at the waist in a horrible warehouse accident and had to have a chair specially made to allow him to sit on the table. And Mary has tragically developed a distended right eyeball that will forever leave her looking like Popeye.

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Mary Worth 1,159

Worked? Hard? At what?? Warming up the seats in the booths? You'd think Alison would be the LAST person to suggest that Gina worked hard.

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