Mary Worth 2114

I keep trying to fit Santa Royale into the constructs of my own perceived reality, which of course is foolishness. When THE NEW UNIVERSITY DIRECTOR arrived, I assumed the article "the" was linked to the adjective "new," as in the newest director level employee at the university. But now I'm wondering how any newly hired director can help a professor, presumably tenured, maintain his position? Is he Director of Human Resources? From here on, I will replace the phrase THE NEW UNIVERSITY DIRECTOR with KING OF THE SCHOOL and order will once more be restored between my dimension and the Worthiverse.

Toby rarely leaves the compound, so I'm assuming she has sneaked a kiln into her apartment. Definitely a violation of Charterstone regulations. Dang, there I go again, trying to reconcile the Worthiverse with reality.

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Mary Worth 2113

My father is notorious for inviting unexpected guests for dinner, much to my mother's consternation. Sometimes, the guests have been destitute and homeless. I don't know where they came from, but a few guests have become part of our family folklore. Like the man who snuck off into the kid's bathroom and smoked a joint, and then came back to the table and barfed. So, you can imagine my nervousness at Director Berkes coming for dinner. Better lock up your liquor cabinet, Toby.

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Mary Worth 2112

"This is part of my job, to kiss up to the NEW UNIVERSITY DIRECTOR! My job description is very specific. I have to invite the University Director to dinner and ask him to move into my apartment building."

There's been a lot of debate about what Hilton Berkes is actually the director OF. This fall, he will make his debut with "Death of a Salesman."

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Mary Worth 2111

I don't know... do you think Director Berkes will meet the next love of his life at Charterstone? If not, I'm going to be sorely disappointed. Because the last time that happened was just the last two stories, and I want to relive the magic!

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Mary Worth 2110

Hey, here's a fresh story idea. A single man, no, a widow! Or a widower! ... Moves into Charterstone, or Sommerset, no Charterstone! And meets a single women, or a widower. No, a widow, and they explore their feelings on a park bench and fall in love and get married. It sounds very promising and will no doubt have lots of surprises.

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Mary Worth 2109

"We both know I'm the stronger swimmer. You're crippled, remember?"

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Mary Worth 2108

For those of you who just moved into Santa Royale, Toby is referring to an incident seven years ago when she responded to a phishing email allegedly from Enormoushop.com and had her identity stolen. She paid no attention to the tell-tale charge on her credit card from Pretty Porpoises because it was so small, but the consequences were disastrous, and we spent weeks listening to Terry Bryson teach Toby to check her credit score. Of all Mary Worth stories ever, this one has lived on as the most "helpful."

So, by all means, Toby, congratulate Terry on getting a new fiance. She deserves it, even if the familiar territory works in his favor.

I have no idea what they're talking about.

Mary Worth 2107

Whatever issues Terry and Adam had are clearly still a problem. Yesterday, Adam took a backhanded slap at Terry, today she counters with a smack to the ear. I'm sorry. Domestic violence is never cute. Terry's left arm has already been hopelessly mangled.

Mary Worth 2106

They're frolicking! FROLICKING! They're like a couple of teenagers! I love how Joe Giella has carefully hidden Adam's cane-hand and cane beneath the water to add to his youthfulness.

And Karen Moy has made a Jukebox request, "The Second Time Around." I'm so glad she did because I learned something about the song in finding it. We all know it was a huge hit for Frank Sinatra, but the song was first introduced by Bing Crosby in the film "High Time," which I hadn't realized. You know the song, but probably not the film. This early Blake Edwards film came out in 1960 and also starred Fabian and Tuesday Weld, and featured a few other familiar faces including my kindergarten crush, Yvonne Craig (aka Batgirl). But I am especially fond of it because it was filmed at my mother's college and she shows up in a couple of crowd scenes.

Oh, and edited to add (thanks to an anonymous poster):

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Mary Worth 2105

"Your advice to have a Trial Period was perfect. It slowed things down, and gave me a chance to explore my true feelings over four casual dates before flinging open every door and saying yes with every part of me. So we're picking out rings, but you're the real gem. Ha ha ha ha ha. See what I did there?"

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Mary Worth 2104

It feels like some kind of horrible frat boy drinking game: Every time Adam or Terry refer to themselves as a Good Team, you take a shot. Mary looks like she can't wait to get home to play. She's got that glassy eyed glaze of someone listening to an engaged couple drone on and on about their relationship. So Joe Giella nailed it today.

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Mary Worth 2103

"That's what Jeff tells me down at the hospital where we work."

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Mary Worth 2102

"The CEO at Cyber Security Company wanted to have a trial period, but Adam wore him down with a hot air balloon ride and a picnic."

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Mary Worth 2101

"It was completely spontaneous! I mean, there was no way I could have staged that mugging in an effort to get Terry high on adrenaline, even if I am connected at all levels of law enforcement. Yeah, it was totally spontaneous!"

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Mary Worth 2100

It's almost as if Mary had NOTHING TO DO WITH THEIR RELATIONSHIP! "Yeah, Mary, that trial period idea? What a waste. By the way, you're too old to drive, so let us give you a lift."

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Mary Worth 2099

I know it doesn't seem quick at all, and that this story has been going on forever, but to be fair, Adam first accosted Terry on March 23, which is only 111 days ago. So, really, as courtships go, it is shorter than average. It seems he was able to wear her down -- I mean, win her over in four dates: Balloon ride, amusement park, picnic and ferry ride, although you probably don't remember the latter two. When I compare that to my own courtship, I'd say I pretty much knew I could marry my wife after four dates, I proposed after six months of dating, and then we were married six months later. That may be considered fast to some, but what can I say? We make a great team.

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Mary Worth 2098

To coffee!... To muggers!... To canes!
To congress!... To bullets!... To aim!
To Teflon!... To stalkers!... to skunks!
To secrets!... To service!... To bunk!

Did I forget anything? Oh, yes:

Happy 7-Eleven Day, everyone! Go get your free Slurpees. Hear! Hear!

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Mary Worth 2097

Another Fun Mary Worth Factoid: Companies love to hire the fiancés of their employees. That's why so many job application forms include the question: Do you have any immediate family members or lovers we could also hire?

If you haven't seen Karen Moy's latest post at the Official Mary Worth site, it is definitely WORTH a look!

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Mary Worth 2096

I'm sooooo happy right now. Adam loves Terry soooooo much. He moved all the way across the country into her apartment building just as soon as he realized he made a mistake eight years ago dumping her for the Congress-Man and his ideology. Women love men who are direct, especially ex-boyfriends. I mean, he didn't even ask Mary to find out if Terry still likes him or not! If that isn't love, what is?

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Mary Worth 2095

It should be noted that this is the first time we have seen a black man in Santa Royale since the commencement of this blog in 2007. The only previous appearance of an African American was Dr. Milton Smith, a Promise Haven success story, but he was in New York City. The fact that this upstanding citizen has broken the race barrier to serve as a member of the Boardwalk Police Department makes this a day of double significance. Good-bye nameless officer. Would that we could ever see you again.

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Mary Worth 2094

How will Adam ever maintain the level of adrenaline required to sustain Terry's romantic interest? It was one thing before, when it was part of their job requirement. These two are going to need to open their own bounty hunter practice. That would be an excellent spinoff strip.

Mary Worth 2093

Who's the Skunk now, Teflon Girl?

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Mary Worth 2092

I think it's fair to say that Lex Luthor speaks for us all.

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Mary Worth 2091

Those seagulls are looking at that mugger carcass and hoping for a little late night carrion.

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Mary Worth 2090

As soon as Teflon Girl retrieves the gun, the fight is technically over, but rather than using it to apprehend the perpetrator, she poses oh so sveltely as the Skunk whacks the guy on the back of the cranium with what is clearly a rebar reinforced cane.

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