Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My apologies...

I'm sorry. I just can't do it. I write this blog to sustain some sort of public interest in Mary Worth. At times, I have been absolutely delighted by the author's ability to actually tell a story two panels a day, even though it makes the dialog stilted and disjointed. I'm amazed that Joe Giella, who recently turned 80, is drawing this every single day. I love the retro style and inane inconsistencies.

There is almost always something satisfying about this strip.

But every morning for the last five weeks I've woken up and wanted to pound a nail into my brain. For some reason, Karen Moy has decided that the best way to warn people about identity theft and online fraud is to use her comic strip, which appears in newspapers and on the Internet where (if I'm not mistaken) there tends to be ::gasp:: information about identity theft and online fraud.

I can just see Granny McGillicutty opening to the style section and thinking to herself, "Oh, I hope Terry Bryson can tell me more about protecting myself from identity thieves today. I don't know where else I can learn about that mysterious $1.09 charge to Pretty Purposes that appeared on my credit card this month."

For those of you without a nail gun, here's today's strip.

16 comments:

Matthieu said...

I'm with you on this one, Wanders. I completely forgot to read it the other day, and I usually read it every day as part of a routine. I suppose I was subconsciously trying to spare myself the agony.

boojum said...

Boring? Boring?!! When right here in today's strip we have the Sexually Ambiguous Ensign Terry Bryson and the.. the...

Oh crap. Who am I kidding? The models in the J.C. Penney catalog would be bored with this storyline. Jennifer Tilley had it all figured out two weeks ago. Trying to comment on it anymore is the death of irony.

Hey! Maybe that's the plan. Maybe Moy and Giella are trying to end irony in the universe!

Not that... that would be interesting, either.

Anonymous said...

It's really very simple. Moy is simply not up to the task of maintaining the integrity of the comic strip that she has inherited. She does not have the talent. Her character development is pathetic and character development is the key to a successful soap of any kind. I have no problem with Giella's quirky renderings. I think he's doing very well for an 80 year old man. You are correct in that for there to be a blog, there must be something to blog about. Maybe you could start a grass roots effort to have Moy replaced by a chimp.

boojum said...

Hey, hey, hey, Anonymous! Just back it up, there, buddy, with your fancy-schmancy elitist comments that a chimp could write this stuff better. How come you people always go right to the chimps? I tell ya, a marmoset could write this stuff better! A three-toed sloth! A newt!

Give newts a chance!

boojum said...

I apologize. I got carried away. I'll step away from the exclamation point key, now.

Anonymous said...

It's ok, Wanders. I completely agree that this storyline has created a new definition in tedious, one that even surpasses Rex Morgan storyline. The only way it could improve is if the identify thief turned out to be dear beloved Aldo secretly alive in Canada and trying to destroy the lives of those who destroyed his. Either that or if the Ensign beat Toby to death. Seriously, a week of her just beating Toby would almost make up for this storyline. And will Chinbeard ever reappear?

spike said...

boojum: Hope the Exclamation Point Therapy is kicking in for you!!! As much as I like your three-toed sloth concept, I'd like to suggest a chipmunk in place of your newt. No Newts, please.

You are correct in that for there to be a blog, there must be something to blog about.
Anonymous: I think we've been having fun with angles, coloring schemes, Ensign Terry, etc. over the past couple of weeks, so there is no lack of creativity from the locals who post here.

wanders: Coraggio! This story arc, too, shall pass...like a kidney stone, I'm afraid, but it will go away...in about another month...

boojum said...

spike:

Mary Worth is a witch! She turned me into a newt!

Dang. There go the exclamation points again....

Nathan said...

In the interests of pointless contrariness, I've decided to take Karen Moy's side on this one. In totally-not-my-opinion, she's doing a great public service by providing tools for avoiding identity theft using her comic strip as a bully pulpit. After all, there are probably thousands of old, computer-illiterate ladies in nursing homes all around the nation that are in imminent danger of having their identity's stolen. But now, thanks to Karen Moy's timely intervention through the one form of media that these ladies actually understand and read (namely, the comic strip Mary Worth), they're getting exactly the information they need to protect themselves! It's a act of kindness! It's an act of deep, unyielding generousity! It's a act of sheer, blameless charity! Karen Moy, through this beautiful and heartbreaking story, is truly working to make the world a better place for all of us!

(Disclaimer: The above comments do not reflect my opinion, or the opinion of anyone else remotely sane or interesting. Thank you.)

spike said...

boojum: Are you sure you're not a gekko? Hmmmmm....Newt Gingrich, Gordon Gekko...plague or polio...you decide.

nathan: I think you have stumbled upon the truth of the matter. By making Toby the butt of this story line, all those 60+ people can say to themselves, "Goodness! Toby's always seemed so young and vigorous and smart! If this could happen to her...and of course, Mary herself was right there to make Toby feel even more the fool as Mary chimed in with, "...if you don't know about something, EDUCATE YOURSELF!" Guess that Mary's pointed finger was aimed at poor boojum that day.

caroline said...

Maybe it would be fun to cut out every strip from the last four weeks or so, tape them to a wall in your garage, then use the nail gun on every single Toby image. Pointless violence, but might be therapeutic!

boojum said...

Oh, wait. I got better.

Anonymous said...

Please accept my apologies to chimps everywhere.

spike said...

boojum: YAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!! YAAAAYYYY!!!!! YAAAYYY!!

[Note to all: No fatted calf will be harmed in celebration of boojum's recovery.]

Merciful Minerva said...

This ongoing strip is lethal.

If it was condensed into one panel it would merely be the most boring thing in the universe. As it is we'll need to rent equipment out of Cold Spring Harbor to repair the damage to the space-time continuum.

Maybe Giella just draws Charterstone cock-eyed to make things interesting for himself. The guy did some classic hero-action comic books back in the Silver Age of comics. So imagine the purgatory of having to draw waxworks Toby from fifty million subtly different angles, droning about email, after a lifetime of inking Batman punching the crap out of the Joker's minions.

The artist who brought us Green Lantern battling it out with arch-nemesis Sinestro in Jupiter's orbit, now draws old ladies making casserole for forty-three consecutive strips. he deserves our pity at the very least.

I can't even blame Moy; people who are boring are just boring, what do you expect? Pigs don't fly.

I blame whoever hired her.

So dump Moy. Dump her and never look back. Have the sixth grade class who colors the strip step in and do story.

And for the love of God, tell them to give Mary a grudge, the power of flight, and a fist made out of antimatter or something. After these last few months, we deserve at least a fist made out of antimatter and the will to use it.

Moy can read all about it from the comfort of her home.

Anonymous said...

Minerva,

I think your post is perhaps the funniest thing I have read on this blog, outside of wanders' musings, naturally, EVER.

Fist made of antimatter...that would be...AWESOME!

--wheelhead