Friday, December 4, 2020

Mary Worth 3514

So they're getting married? Order some onion rings! There's going to be a wedding!

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Mary Worth 3513

When I read today's strip, I just smiled so wide, clapped my hands and said, "Oh my gosh! I love this comic strip." It was a completely sincere and organic moment. Did anyone else have a similar burst of elation when you read this today? I can't explain it. Probably caffeine from my Crystal Light energy drink.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Mary Worth 3512

She likes what she sees. I'm glad. Because I promise you, he will never cut his hair or change his shirt.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Mary Worth 3511

So, Tommy is very excited to take Brandy on a date again. Brandy will be eating for two, however.

Monday, November 30, 2020

Mary Worth 3510

"Do we need to talk like alien robots? Because I'm really good at that."

Saturday, November 28, 2020

Mary Worth 3509

By successfully burrying himself in his work, he's completely forgotten his broken heart. It looks like someone may have a real future at Freda's!

Friday, November 27, 2020

Mary Worth 3508

I think we could say the same thing to June Brigman, "Fantastic job! The display looks great." I love how the bottles gently cant twoard the star, drawing the eye upward and guiding us from the east to buy very expensive imported olive oil. I'm sure that leaning the bottles on edge like that strengthens the display and will help support it if someone accidentally bangs into it, seeing how its placed in the center of an aisle near the registers.

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Mary Worth 3507

I know we were all worried that Store Manager's request yesterday for Tommy to do some heavy lifting would result in some sort of plot development, but we were wrong fortunately. Today we get to enjoy even more introspection and lamentation. Could things get any better??

Happy Thanksgiving everybody.

Tuesday, November 24, 2020

Mary Worth 3505

Addicted to Brandy? Or just alcohol in general? Either way, you're still sober. Have a great day at work.

Monday, November 23, 2020

Mary Worth 3504

Woah, Tommy. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Or haven't you gotten that far in your NA program.

Friday, November 20, 2020

Mary Worth 3502

Email? How quaint, how romantic. I guess email was the one communications platform Brandy forgot to block Tommy on.

Thursday, November 19, 2020

Mary Worth 3501

"And just as I was getting clean, my mom and an old lady got me hooked on opioids. That was rough, but fortunately, a saw a therapist who gave me an antidote and cured me in one session...."

Tuesday, November 17, 2020

Mary Worth 3500

I'm a pretty dedicated Mary Worth fan. Perhaps I am the biggest Mary Worth fan in the world. But even I can't remember Tommy volunteering with the kids. Perhaps by "the kids," he means the National Cannabis Association.

Monday, November 16, 2020

Mary Worth 3499

Okay, what? Huh? This is the Mary Worth comic strip, right? Suddenly, relationships aren't the only thing in life? What else is there, Mary? And don't say drugs.

Sunday, November 15, 2020

Mary Worth 3498

Dear Ms. Moy,

The Condo Board is please to acknowledge your request that "Drive All Night" by Bruce Springsteen be added to the clubhouse jukebox. Fortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Wanders watched Blinded by the Light on Friday night and staged a small sit-in until unnamed holdouts on the Board conceded. Thank you for your recommendation.

Sincerely yours,

The Condo Board

Friday, November 13, 2020

Mary Worth 3497

When Tommy first claimed to work in a low paying job for over a year, I thought, Only a year?? So I went back, thinking it would be like six years at least, but no, he seems to have gotten the job at Freda's in the summer of 2018.

But I have to ask, are we finally getting back to that long forgotten plot point that Tommy was going to start a new sales career? Because that feels like six years ago, too.

Thursday, November 12, 2020

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Mary Worth 3495

Each of those Post-it Notes on the refrigerator says, "I love you! Take me back! Jeff."

Tuesday, November 10, 2020

Mary Worth 3494

Mary's platitudes are pass alongs from her own 12-step recorvery group: Muffins anonymous. She's struggling there. She is currently sublimating muffins with banana bread, which everyone knows is a loser's game. Excuse me: Human's game.

Sunday, November 8, 2020

Mary Worth 3493

I have missed everyone this week! Our car was in the shop and so I was riding the bus this week to my job in Philadelphia, which meant leaving home by 6:20 every morning, usually in a rush. It was an interesting time to take a bus through the heart of our City of Brotherly Love. As the week began, many downtown storefronts were boarded up in fear of rioting and looting after the police shot and killed Walter Wallace. In addition, the city was anxious about the counting of ballots at the Convention Center after Donald Trump tried to undermine democracy by claiming without evidence widespread voter fraud (in other words, a vote against him was a fraudulent vote). By Thursday morning, even I got a little nervous as I listened on the radio to a report that two Virginia men had been arrested who were allegedly on their way to the convention center carrying weapons. Seeing how the convention center was my bus stop, I was a bit trepidatious about what their intentions might have been. But as I left work on Saturday, it was a completely different scene. The media had looked at the vote count in Pennsylvania and called the election. There was jubilation and dancing in the streets and I couldn't be more proud of our democratic republic, including our great city.

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Mary Worth 3492

Between the onion ring and the Post-it Note, how's a girl to resist?

Monday, November 2, 2020

Mary Worth 3491

Wait a minute... the only thing that interests me is what happened between this moment...

And this moment:

How did the customers feel? Did the manager speak with either of them? How did Tommy not get fired? And what did they do when they ran into each other in the cold cereal aisle?

Saturday, October 31, 2020

Mary Worth 3490

The good news, Tommy, is that after she dumps you, you still get to work together

Thursday, October 29, 2020

Mary Worth 3488

Here's another great example of why it is so important to date a co-worker: People in the produce section can listen in and take sides.

Wednesday, October 28, 2020

Mary Worth 3487

I wouldn't be surprised if Brandy was wearing a donut on her finger, given to her by some other stockboy.

Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Mary Worth 3486

Vin's status as a KNOWN DRUGGIE produced this little instant ear worm:

Oh, who are the druggies in your neigbhorhood?
In your neigbhorhood?
They're in your neigbhorhood.
Oh, who are the druggies in your neigbhorhood?
The people that you meet each day.

Oh, Vin will always share his stash
Of pot, or meth, or crack, or hash.
But if you're trying to stay clean
You're babe is gonna make a scene.

Cause Vin is a druggie in your neighborhood,
In your neigbhorhood.
He's in your neigbhorhood.
Oh, Vin is a druggie in your neigbhorhood,
A druggie that you meet each day.

Saturday, October 24, 2020

Mary Worth 3486

Alright. Everyone predicted that Brandy would show up and you stole all the punchlines: They have the same dealer. Vin is Brandy’s dad. Karen Moy doesn’t let statistical probability stand in the way of a predictable plot point. But Victor Hugo characters were always bumping into each other, too. Just go with it people. 

Friday, October 23, 2020

Mary Worth 3485

I really don't care about today's strip, except that I really want to see Nance's Boldface Haiku. Also, I enjoy Lobster Man and his good example of sharing. Desperate to share, actually.

Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Mary Worth 3484

When I was a kid, I LOVED Super Elastic Bubble Plastic. It definetly IS a party for one! But it's more fun with family and friends as this commercial attests:

Monday, October 19, 2020

Mary Worth 3483

It's been a long time since I took French, but I believe c'mere roughly translates as, "I have always and will always love you."

Sunday, October 18, 2020

Mary Worth 3482

This morning, Mrs. Wanders was reading over my shoulder without her glasses.

Mrs. W: Is that some kind of lobster man?

Me: No, it's a drug dealer. Tommy is about to spiral out of control. He proposed to his girlfriend with an onion ring and she rejected him.

Mrs. W: Probably because he proposed with an onion ring.

Me: No, because he is a !@#$%^& idiot.

Mrs. W: Well, you can definitely add the onion ring to the list or reasons not to marry him.

Saturday, October 17, 2020

Mary Worth 3481

I hope that Brandy learns her lesson from all of this. It's her fault if Tommy falls off the wagon.

Thursday, October 15, 2020

Mary Worth 3480

We were all different in the past. Tommy used to be a stupid loser:
And Brandy wasn't always white:

Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Mary Worth 3479

No, don't do that! We haven't exhausted Tommy's insecurity and sense of rejection after impulsively deciding this relationship was ready for the responsibilities and realities that come with a matrimonial contract. If Tommy wants more, babe, then give it to him. Tell him exactly why you won't marry him, and make it sting.

Tuesday, October 13, 2020

Mary Worth 3478

"Babe, I stopped having second thoughts ages ago. I'm now on eighth or twelfth thoughts... I lose track."

Saturday, October 10, 2020

Mary Worth 3477

Yesterday, it was an old Seinfeld reference. Today, it's a rerun of the onion ring gag, which was from The Simpson's. It's been a good joke. I hope they tell it again.

Thursday, October 8, 2020

Mary Worth 3476

The Tommy Beedie School of Slang is accepting applications through May 1, 1974.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Mary Worth 3475

"No, it's because you didn't say the magic word. Here's a clue. It isn't 'babe.'"

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

Mary Worth 3474

Of course he's serious. That's why he gave you an onion ring as a token of his commitment.

Monday, October 5, 2020

Mary Worth 3473

So, I go away for a week, and this happens? People are wearing food again, ala muffin hats? You know how we love when Mary Worth characters wear food!

It's good to be home. Mrs. Wanders and I had a very enjoyable week in the mountains, and I'm really glad she forced me to come with her. We had not realized that we were arriving in time for peak autumn colors. We had lots of rain and wind, but it seemed to come at mostly convenient times. We were still able to enjoy nightly campfires and cooking outdoors. And there were loons and it was just like On Golden Pond, if they lived in a tent. Would you like to see some pictures? I was hoping you'd say that.