Now, let's not jump to conclusions. A lot of things happen at City Hall that these two could be happy about. They could just be happy that they don't need wheelchairs and can actually climb down the non-ADA-compliant stairs; although, by the looks of their footing, they may need wheelchairs soon.
Monday, January 26, 2015
I don't know what a bottle of "Spark" is, but I think we're getting subliminal messages here. Hanna and Sean just watched a sickening romantic movie "based on a book." Arguably, the most sickening romantic writer these days is Nicholas Sparks, who's book "Message in a Bottle" was adapted for the screen in 1999, starring Buttercup, Elliot Ness, Butch Cassidy, and Hagrid. I don't know... maybe it isn't sickening. I mean, according to Rotten Tomatoes, a staggering 32 percent of critics actually liked it.
Friday, January 23, 2015
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
When I Googled "movie with happy ending lifts us up takes us away," I got several listings for Blade Runner, which suits Sean just fine, but I'm not sure it is what Hanna had in mind. It's the classic chick flick dilemma. Sean will take her to see Mommy because he wants a goodnight kiss. But he may want to reconsider getting more serious unless he really likes boring movies.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Well, the story of Hard Hearted Hanna and her deteriorating eyesight, dysfunctional daughter, inconvenient grandson, surrendering her license, searching for a shuttle, texting an elderly man, and drinking coffee has wrapped up so nicely. There certainly aren't any more questions to answer. As Toby and Mary conclude their denouement, we can look forward to a wonderful new adventure by Monday. I for one will never look at an elderly driver the same again. This story started while my wife and I were on vacation in Hawaii last September, and it is definitely time for another visit.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the SEVENTH ANNUAL WORTHY AWARDS! Santa Royale's elite have gathered to celebrate the best of all things Mary Worth. But most importantly, the Condo Board has tabulated YOUR votes -- thousands of votes -- to determine this year's outstanding achievements.
But to get things started, what awards show would be complete without an OPENING NUMBER! Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for the Edsels and their 1961 smash hit Rama Lama (Hanna) Ding Dong!
Each year, we begin by awarding the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award to one lucky Mary Worth character who died this year. And so we are thrilled to present the award to Olive Taylor who -- wait, I'm sorry, what's that? It seems Olive was saved at the last minute by Mary Worth and has failed to qualify for the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award this year.
That means that this year's prize goes to our runner up, the patient that Doctor Kapuht lost on the operating table. Congratulations! Just think, Olive. It could have been you!
And now, on to our awards.
The nominees for outstanding performance by a guest character are:
And the Worthy goes to:
He killed a patient, and he abused the hospital's heroine supply! By all means, let's give him a prize!
The nominees for outstanding performance by a floating head are:
And the Worthy goes to:
There's always room for Wilbur Weston, no matter how tight the squeeze!
The nominees for outstanding performance by an established character are:
And the Worthy goes to -- ladies and gentleman -- this is a complete surprise!
Ian Cameron: Ah wisnae expectin' thes at aw. Is it alrecht if Ah make a speech? First aff, Ah want tae thenk mah brammer guidwife. Withit 'er support, Ah ne'er woods hae hud th' coorage tae return tae th' strip. Mah skitin' kept me frae bein' able tae utter a single line. An' when Ah finally got behin' th' wheel ay a motur, Ah nearly got in a wreck. If eh'd hae burst Hana, aam sure eh'd hae gain tae jail as mah bluid toxicity level wisnae guid. But aam aicht days sober, thenks tae th' support ay mah bonnie guidwife, an' th' meddlin' ay Mary Worth. An' Ah hiner an' pray 'at Karen Moy will gezz meh anither chance! Ah willnae lit ye doon.
Thank you Ian... Thank you. You may return to your seat. No, this way. Yes, we're all very proud of you and hope we get to see much more of you in the future. No, that's fine. You keep that. Just follow this lady back to your folding chair. That's the way.
And now, the nominees for Panel of the Year are:
And the Worthy for Outstanding Panel of the Year goes to:
The panel of the year is always a fan favorite, and usually features some sort of nudity, so it is a real thrill that tonight, modesty has prevailed!
And now, the moment we have all been waiting for, the nominees for Outstanding Story of 2014 are:
And the Worthy Award goes to:
It's been a magical evening and a very exciting year for Mary Worth and Friends. Thank you for being a part of tonight's celebration! If you haven't had a chance to become a citizen of Santa Royale by following this blog, please take a moment to sign up now! It's completely free and comes with too many perks to mention.
Here's looking forward to a new year of lots of adventures and excitement!
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Hey, you two. You haven't been paying attention. He picks her up and drops her off because SEAN -- DRIVES -- HER -- PLACES! Remember when you two buttinskies confiscated her driver's license and then got tired of buying groceries for her?
Monday, January 12, 2015
Friday, January 9, 2015
Hanna seems almost sinister as she shoves Amy out the door. If, indeed, that is Amy. Her eyes are suddenly brown. Perhaps it is some sort of replicant in a carefully crafted latex face that is going to head over to Sean's apartment and eat him while Amy disposes of Gordon's body in the back dumpster. This story is getting totally out of hand.
And a gentle reminder that today is the last day to vote for the Worthy Awards. Now finish eating your Sean.