Mary Worth 681

Identity theft is not a joke, Dawn! Millions of families suffer every year!

By the way, I like your pencil collection. I think my collection has a little more variety, but your tenth grade ceramics project is a much better pencil holder than my 1990 Justice League of America mug.

Now, a little bit of housekeeping: There have been several requests for the song "Last Train to Clarkesville" by the Monkees to be added to the Charterstone Jukebox. I took this request to the Carterstone Condo Board for approval, but it was immediately rejected for the following reasons: "1) Quality. The low moral character, and inferior musical stylings of the song fail to meet the standards we hope to maintain at Charterstone Condominiums. 2) Relevance. We see no connection between the train to Clarkesville, and the Clarkville Resort chain in Florida. Your suggestion is forthwith denied!" If it were up to me, I'd say yes. I like the song. But it isn't up to me. The Condo Board has spoken.

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Mary Worth 680

Where were you when Martin Clark died? I'll never forget it. I was a freshman at Tate College (His alma mater, by the way), and it was spring break. Me and some buddies had gone down to Florida and were staying at the Clarkville Resort, which was awesome. I was standing on the veranda, looking over the sparkling ocean, when Dan Rather's voice on the television inside said, "We interrupt this program with a stunning announcement: Martin Clark's private plane went down just minutes ago off the Florida Keys." The nation was shrouded in grief. Who could ever forget when Martin Clark's plane went down. And, yet, nobody really knows anything about him. I want to know more.

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Mary Worth 679

I just don't know where to begin... I've been pondering today's strip as we unburied ourselves from last night's blizzard. I shoveled our driveway and our three neighbors' driveways, but I just don't know where to start...

• Shall I comment on Dawn's lazy eye that just won't focus on her computer screen in either panel?
• Or Tate College, which I haven't heard mentioned since Harold Lloyd's 1920's silent classic The Freshman (which I loved when I was in high school, by the way)?
• Or the odd design of Dawn's computer - is it a laptop? If so, how does it close?
• Or Wilbur's most excellent portrait, and why doesn't Dawn have a photo of Wilbur with her dead mother instead?
• Or the lack of lumbar support from Dawn's desk chair?
• Or should I focus on where this story might be headed instead? Will Dawn find Martin Clark and claim to be his daughter?
• And how does a nasty rich kid from Florida survive the harsh Boston winters?
• Has anyone stayed at a Clarkville Resort in Florida? Are they nice? Do they have HBO?

So why can't I figure out how to start this post? Is it because there are too many things to discuss, or is it that there's nothing worth discussing?

Mary Worth 678

Thank you, Dawn! As a former college rival, I am tired of being blamed for everything. Just because I was nasty and rich doesn't mean I stole your girl friend. Maybe, just maybe, she didn't like fishing. I can't help it if she was a free spirit!

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Mary Worth 677

"If I could go back in time... then I could trick Martin Clark to fall in love with me, Dad could marry Abby, and I could prevent myself from ever being born into this miserable life."

This is gonna' be GREAT!

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Mary Worth 676

Why does Martin Clark sound familiar? I'll tell you why he sounds familiar: MartinClark.com

Clearly, he's a much better writer than Wilbur.

By the way, I've added a new song to the Charterstone Jukebox. See if you can guess why.

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Mary Worth 675

"I couldn't stand him then, but I'm standing NOW. Look at me stand! I stand so tall, I can almost touch the SKY!"

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Mary Worth 674

"What was it about Abby? Thanks for asking. Well, first of all, she was a free spirit... Hey, here's an email from someone claiming to be my child who I never knew about before. Twice in one week. I'll invite him to move in."

Wilbur may want to stay off the Interwebs for a while.

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Mary Worth 673

Now that Kurt has refused to take a paternity test on moral grounds, Wilbur and he are closer than ever. Actually, Wilbur and ME are closer than ever. Our bellies and touching.

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Mary Worth 672

"In a way, it's like a part of me has always been missing - a big toe, or a pinky finger - and Kurt fills that empty space."

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