Mary Worth 1,215

Yes, Emily, and try not to get kidnapped again. Because, of course, you realize it was your own fault.

Mary Worth 1,214

Well, it turns out that it wasn't the head of Wayne the Kidnapper (severed as Bill the Manager assisted the police with his kitchen cleaver) in Mr. Smith's bag after all... Just some fruit. Of course, Bill, Bree and Ronnie didn't get as large a fruit basket as Mary Worth got. They each got only a pear. So all is right in the world.

Mary Worth 1,213

Well, as Mary Worth lounges in her Forever Lazy, we can either expect a new story, or Emily's family is coming to find out how Emily can become a model. I mean, Mary said she knows somebody.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,212

Yes, miracles like you, Mary.


Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,211

You DO read all kinds of stories in the news. Including this one about a waitress who identified a kidnapped child and stalled the kidnapper with a free dessert.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,210

I'm thrilled that Mary Worth has passed judgment and approved of Emily's parents. Though I'm not sure how she did it since she doesn't seem to have ever been at the police station.

And great move by the police to haul Emily down to the station to visit with addicts and prostitutes while she waits for her goodly parents to arrive, instead of letting her wait at Diner with a free bowl or rainbow swirl ice cream. I wonder if they took her down to the hoosegow in the same car as Wayne the Kidnapper.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,209

It'd be nice if we even had a regular compass. Which way is the shore?

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Mary Worth 1,208

I am so glad that Mary Worth has a conscience in her guts to give her courage. This is what sets her apart. If only other people had consciences. Then we could all be as awesome as Mary Worth and talk about our awesomeness for nine days straight.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,207

While Mary is relieved that she didn't have to "physically tangle" with Wayne the Kidnapper, the rest of us, of course, are also very relieved. Although she appears more than capable in the panel above, watching Mary Worth duke it out with a hardened criminal would not have been interesting at all.

Today's Full Strip

Fourth Annual Worthy Awards

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fourth Annual Worthy Awards. Santa Royale's elite (you), have gathered together to shower accolades on the 2011 outstanding achievements in the genius comic strip, "Mary Worth."

But first, what glamorous awards ceremony would be complete without a spectacular opening number! Here's a MW&M favorite:

Thank you Mr. Trololo, and now, to start things off, we take a moment to bestow the coveted Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award upon a Mary Worth character who left us for the great Pool Party in the Sky during 2011. This year's outstanding achievement in dying goes to:

MAMA BARONI!
Congratulations on being the perfect cross to bear!

And now, on with the show!

Your votes have been counted. Over 17 votes were cast! A new record. Who knew Mary Worth had so many fans?

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN

The nominees are:

LOCKET MAN

WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES ATHLETIC GEAR

AMOEBA SHIRT

SANTA ROYALE MESSENGER SERVICE

And the winner is:

LOCKET MAN

This year's winner plans to use his prize money (a $400 gift card from Marcy's) to buy himself some more cool jewelry.

Our next category is

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER:

Each year, Mary Worth meddles in the lives of Santa Royale's citizenry, and then we never see them again. This year's nominees may be lost to us for all time, but their performances will live in our hearts forever. And the nominees are:

COACH HAMFIST

LIZA COLBY

YOUNG BOBBY BLACK

GINA THE WAITRESS

And the winner is:

LIZA COLBY

This only goes to show what we already knew: Mary Worth fans LOVE stalkers! Liza Colby is working on a sales degree at Local University, and, ironically, busing tables at the cafeteria.

And now...

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY AN ESTABLISHED CHARACTER

The nominees are:

DAWN WESTON

MARY WORTH

WILBUR WESTON

DR. DREW CARY, M.D.

And the Worthy Award goes to:

WILBUR WESTON

This is Wilbur Weston's second Worthy Award. He won last year for his performance frolicking with his wanna-be son. Wilbur is turning into a regular Tom Hanks. Will he three-peat next year?

And now:

OUTSTANDING PANEL IN 2011

The nominees are:

DREW'S WORKOUT

THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

NO REFLECTION ON DAWN

HOW YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DRAWN

And the winner is:

THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

I think this one was pretty much a guaranteed award winner from the moment it first appeared on May 28.

And now, the 2011 Story of the Year:

DAWN GETS TWITTERPATED

NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

THE LIST

HAPPY IS THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW TO BE

And the winner is:

NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

Once again, stalkers rule on Mary Worth!

Well, 2011 was as a wonderful year in Mary Worth. And she certainly has gotten 2012 off to a good start by rescuing Emily Smith of Goleta.

And let me offer just my personal thanks to all of you, Dear Readers, who devote so much time and insight to this blog! Without you, I would just be another closeted Mary Worth fan wondering what in the world is wrong with me. But at least I know that I am not alone.

Happy New Year to each of you!

This year's awards ceremony has been brought to you by the following sponsors:

Men's Workout
Apple Computer
Experion
Equifax
Transunion
Hilton Hotels
Twitter
Amazon's Kindle
The Four Seasons

If anything, 2011 was the year of product placement.