Mary Worth 3067

Meanwhile, while they're busy dancing on the couch, the pasta pot is scalding on the stove and the oven curtains have caught fire.

Mary Worth 3066

"All of it? Even the thing about being an old dinosaur who could never inspire anyone?"

Mary Worth 3065

Of course, if Jannie actually did have real feelings for you, then falling for it would have been okay.

I really want to commend Karen Moy for her portrayal of the worst, most dysfunctional marriage I've ever seen. Every day, one of these two morons says something that makes my jaw drop even further than the day before. This is "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" kind of stuff.

Mary Worth 3064

"I know, Toby, but you are no Jannie."

Mary Worth 3063

Oh, she has feelings for you, Ian. She feels you're a silly fool, a pompous old man, and a drunk, neglectful husband. Oh wait, the last one is how Toby feels.

Mary Worth 3062

"Toby, dear, why did you move the oven in front of the window? The glass is constantly fogged up and the drapes will catch on fire. Why don't we put it back in the kitchen where it belongs."

Mary Worth 3061

"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."

Mary Worth 3060

You're going to have to stop sculpting miniature ponies and painting clowns. Try being more like Banksy.

Mary Worth 3059

That's funny, Mary... I've been reading their minds for weeks. It's almost been too easy.

Mary Worth 3058

Ouch, this hurts. In 1997, Volkswagen released its New Beetle and I was smitten, mostly for sentimental reasons. It took a few years, but in 2002, I bought a 1997 model in Ian Cameron Red. At first, I was a happy driver. But very soon, the love waned. The first problem was that the cup holders were under the dashboard without enough clearance to insert a can of soda without having to tip it far enough that it would spill. The car was mostly plastic, and over the years, pieces began to break and fall off. Sometimes, the electric windows would spontaneously open, and in the last few years, they'd open whenever you unlocked the car. Sometimes the electric systems would cut off, killing the engine and (dangerously) the power steering. When a couple of friends heard that I was going to junk it in 2015, they'd ask if they could buy it. I asked why, and they both said it was for their teenaged driver. I told them no, I didn't want to be responsible for their child's death.

So now I learn that I drove the same car as Ian for over 13 years. This is a very depressing day for me, but at least I was smart enough never to drive it on a bicycle path.