Saturday, May 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3125

You also need to educate yourself more about caring for houseplants.

Okay, while I was busy with the opening of our play (thanks everyone for your enthusiastic support), we learned that Terry Bryson is coming back. It isn't that I couldn't post this week, its just that Terry Bryson is coming back. I know, you all think of Terry Bryson as the on-again-off-again-on-again girlfriend (and now WIFE? Did I not get invited to the wedding??) of Adam Miller who took her for hot air balloon and roller coaster rides, but I can never forget that our first encounter with Terry Bryson inspired this post and almost ended this blog in September 2008.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3124

If you think reporting him would be fun, I think you should try real revenge!

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Mary Worth 3123

In just a few days, Estelle has gone from eating microwaved falafel to cat chow straight from the bag! Things don't look good for Libby.

I've been in the final week of rehearsals for "The Man Who Came to Dinner" at Haddonfield Plays and Players in Southern New Jersey. We have our first live audience tonight. If you've been wondering where I've been, that's the answer. And if you're in the area, come on by and say hi.

Monday, May 6, 2019

Mary Worth 3122

Wow, what happened? Estelle went from a complete idiot in love to the most self-confident, mature person I've ever met. Except for my wife. I can't tell you how many times she's said to me, "I can't send you any more money. Call me after you've calmed down."

Friday, May 3, 2019

Thursday, May 2, 2019

Mary Worth 3120

I feel like that dog is up to something. Maybe pulling some sort of con on Libby the One-Eyed Cat because, you know, she only has one eye.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3119

And now the sad truth is finally revealed: Arthur Z is a Dog Person! I'm not so sure their love can endure that!

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Mary Worth 3118

That's twice you've told Estelle that she's selfish. Maybe you ought to say it once more because, you know, three times a charm.

Monday, April 29, 2019

Friday, April 26, 2019

Mary Worth 3116

Overeager isn't the exact word I was thinking.

And a special thank you to all you overeager readers who sent me large sums yesterday. I love you dearly, my pets. If you send me another large sum, I may even be able to come visit!

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Mary Worth 3115

Wait... IS Arthur real? Is it unreasonable to think that Estelle could be imagining this whole thing? Is she schizophrenic? Perhaps all the email exchanges and phone calls have just been created in her own malfunctioning mind. If that's the case, where has she been sending her money? I better go check my PayPal account. By the way, you can send your money to my PayPal account, too. I can't promise I'll come visit, but I will send a nice thank you note.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Mary Worth 3113

It's time for a little sting operation, I'd say. If this story doesn't end with Arthur Z hanging for dear life from the open hatch door of an airborne Cessna 152, then Mary's doing something wrong.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Mary Worth 3112

I admire Arthur Z's commitment to the long con. It's always a risk to hit your mark twice. She might start to think something's up. Or worse, Toby might start to think. Period.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Mary Worth 3111

I admire Arthur Z for playing this through the endgame. Unfortunately for him, Detective Toby Cameron, P.I., is on the case now, and this gives her one more opportunity to do Research.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3110

Holy chickpeas, woman! Does cooking international cuisine mean buying frozen falafel to you? Arthur Z will be unimpressed!

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Mary Worth 3109

And that means cleaning up cat hair and getting rid of the litter box. Libby, you get to be an outdoors cat.

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

Mary Worth 3109

Brilliant, Karen Moy! You have written yourself out of the plot problem with this story, offering an ironclad explanation. I have no more questions as to why Estelle hasn't video chatted with the man she loves more than life itself, or at least more than $10,000 and her dignity. Estelle is not "up on that kind of thing." Now it all makes perfect sense. And I won't even bother asking why Mary or Toby won't explain it to her; I mean, they're Mary and Toby.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3107

Poems can be cribbed off the internet, and so can addiction recovery clich├ęs.

Friday, April 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3106

"But his name IS connected to pizza delivery in Goleta, California. Also, his mothers' maiden name is Wontotree, and his social security number is 444-44-4444. He was born January 3, 1975. His first roommate was Charlie Forfife, and his favorite teacher was Mrs. Sickseven. Toby was able to trace his location to a cruise ship in Maui and make a significant withdrawal from his offshore bank account. Here's your $10,000 back, and two grand more for your trouble."

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3105

Now is when Estelle discovers that she doesn't love Arthur for his looks. It's his words. It's classic Cyrano de Bergerac.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Mary Worth 3104

For a moment, I worried that Arthur would have another woman in his hotel room. That would have really devastated Estelle.

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

Monday, April 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3102

Or perhaps he IS a professional model, who has made up the fake name Arthur Zerro to make sure the woman he meets isn't just into him because of his fancy name.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

Mary Worth 3101

I hate to admit that I learned something today from Toby. Something that makes me very uncomfortable with the Internets.

Saturday, April 6, 2019

Mary Worth 3100

In today's exciting installment of the Mary Worth saga:
  • Mary enlists Toby Cameron, P.I., to initate meddling waaaaay too late.
  • Estelle's lethario reveals a fake last name that's sure to affirm her trust and love.
  • Mary confuses George Clooney for Saul Lewman.
  • Toby reveals her expertise at Internet stalking.
New song on the jukebox, everybody. Here's the classic MTV version:

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Mary Worth 3098

Correction, Estelle: You don't have that money anymore.

Correction, Mary: You're judging everyone.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Mary Worth 3097

Of course money from Estelle! Who else would have covered his loss? His employer? His insurance company? Don't you know anything about overseas bureaucracy?

Monday, April 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3096

This morning I felt a little ashamed of how attractive I thought these two elderly widows looked to me. I mean, I thought, they're total babes! Then I spotted the bottle of "Formula 6oo" in Mary's bag and I thought she must be using some magical anti-aging potion. But then I realized, no, I've been doing this since 2007 and although that seems like yesterday, I'm getting a lot older. Thanks, June Brigman, for keeping me feeling alive.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Mary Worth 3095

Also, he can't access more photos of himself, Skype, or Facetime because of overseas bureaucracy and gullibility.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Mary Worth 3094

"Ten thousand dollars? You don't have ten thousand dollars? I'm sorry Arthur Z., but you aren't the man I thought you were. Maybe you should try Aluminum-Daters instead of Silver-Daters."

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Mary Worth 3092

No doubt, abducted by Malaysian gang members who need money wired to their Bank of America account. Oh, please, Estelle, save him.

Monday, March 25, 2019

Mary Worth 3091

Isn't it sweet that Arthur Z (if that is your real name!) holds his cell phone just like Estelle? It's both dainty AND dangerous! They're a perfect match.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

Mary Worth 3090

Miss you guys!

While I’m still traveling, I just have to wonder, “Who signs a text to somebody they already know?” 



Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Mary Worth 3089

I just love taking tests

While Estelle is giving out answers to every possible security question, I’m going to take a little break to celebrate my parents’ birthdays. They both turned 80 this month so my siblings and I are all getting together with them. Have a wonderful week. 

By the way, they met in Sacramento. I hope I haven’t compromised my security by revealing that! 

Monday, March 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3087

Question 1: What is your date of birth?

Question 2: In what city were you born?

Question 3: What is your Social Security Number?

Question 4: What is your favorite credit card, its number, and the last three digits on the back?

Question 5: What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire. I love you.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3086

I realize, of course, that Libby the Cat is not talking to Estelle because that would make no sense... but then, very little in this story is making sense... so, hey, maybe it is Libby.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3085

"And spend the rest of my life cracking my knuckles, picking my nose, and passing gas. That's love."

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3084

At first I didn't recognize this as e e cummings because of the All-Caps convention of the comic strip. So my question is, does Arthur Z want us to believe he wrote this himself? Or does Karen Moy?

Monday, March 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3083

It's been a long, tantalizing weekend of getting to know each other. It appears Estelle has learned from her mistakes. If only she'd spent this much time getting to know this guy:

But I am a little confused by this exchange yesterday:

He moved to Santa Royale three months ago, but hasn't returned to the United States? How does that work? I smell a catfish. I don't think Estelle and I can handle another disappointment!!

Also, Captain Marvel was amazing. My daughter introduced me to the comic book a couple of years ago. The movie was nearly perfect!

Friday, March 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3082

Ah, the moment it moves from Yahoo email to Yahoo instant messaging - perhaps the most exciting moment in a deceptive online relationship.