Friday, July 19, 2019

Mary Worth 3162

In my memory, it was 50 years ago tonight that Dad carried me out to the car to drive to Grandma and Grandpa's house in Salinas where our family would watch tomorrow's Apollo 11 moon landing together. As we walked out under a beautiful night sky, Dad said "They're almost there," and I tried to spot that tiny capsule carrying Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, and Mike Collins on their adventure to that beautiful, bright moon! In this wonderful Google Doodle, Mike Collins recounts his experience.

As for Dawn and Hugo, we're all part of humankind, no matter what language we read Notre-Dame de Paris in (Yes, that's the original French title).

Thursday, July 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3161

We can learn from each other - or, rather, I have taught you a valuable lesson. Now I'll have another Coca-Cola, please.

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Mary Worth 3160

"I'm leaving and going someplace where I can get some Freedom Fries."

His 'host family' must really love this guy.

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Mary Worth 3159

It is sad for us Americans because we have no culture. Our landmarks are all damaged. We are sad.

Monday, July 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3158

Oh, you Europeans, and your overt sexual advances. Even if you are just trying to recover from showing your French arrogance. Dude, you're eating a fried ham and cheese sandwich at the mall. Scale it back a bit.

Friday, July 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3157

I'll paint my host family's house?? What is he, some sort of super French house painter?? What an idiot... unless, of course, he intends to paint it like this:

Thursday, July 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3156
“Je parle anglais, Dawn, je vais donc traduire tout ce que je dis pour vous.  I speak English, Dawn, so I will translate everything I say for you. “

Mary Worth 3155

Now don't get discouraged. See it through. I'm sure Karen Moy has written a wonderfully original and clever story, full of plot twists, humor and warmth. You don't know it yet, but this could be your favorite Mary Worth story of all time. How can you not adore a French foreign exchange student who speaks half English half French, kisses strangers' hands, and hangs out at the mall? He loves classic literature and his parents named him after the great French writer, Victor Hugo. I'm sure this story will rank right up there with The Count of Monte Cristo and Les Miserables.

Tuesday, July 9, 2019

Mary Worth 3154

“No, my mistake. I thought you were Wilbur Weston. You’re just like him.”

Monday, July 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3153

And there it is. Love is born with an Ow and an Oof. I'm sure this guy will be charmed by her utter lack of ambition until he dumps her this fall.

Friday, July 5, 2019

Mary Worth 3152

Remember two years ago when Dawn worked a summer job and ended up having an almost-affair with her married boss? I don't blame her for not wanting a summer job anymore.

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Sunday, June 30, 2019

Mary Worth 3149

And this is why I blog about Mary Worth: Because someday, I'll be lying in a hospital bed, deteriorating from the inside, knowing the end is near, and asking that essential question, was my life worthwhile? Did I make a difference? What did I accomplish? And I'll know deep down in my soul that I spent the majority of my adult life reading Mary Worth. And with that realization, I can look forward to burning in hell, because it will be so much more interesting.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Mary Worth 3148

Tell me more, Jeff, about how this happens to many women. Tell me more.

I'm really struggling to find the words to express how I feel about this story and where it is at. But the image that comes to mind is Jeff's boat stuck on a sandbar.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Mary Worth 3147

I was inspired to try the monkfish when I realized I would be celibate for the rest of my life.

Monday, June 24, 2019

Mary Worth 3146

So much is revealed about Mary and Jeff's relationship as they gossip about Wilbur and Estelle. Mary wants an adventurous eater. Jeff feels stagnant. Their one hope is that Estelle and Wilbur are ready for something new and will break up, thus confirming the value of their own dull, listless, yet committed relationship.

Friday, June 21, 2019

Mary Worth 3145

Our parallel emotional histories consist of sunsets and seafood.

Mary and Jeff's failed attempt to replicate human language reminds me of several similar extraterrestrial efforts. The first is Nathan W. Pyle's brilliant strip, Strange Planet:

And of course, the dolphins circling the boat, hoping Mary and Jeff will perish, hearkens directly back to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Mary Worth 3143

I think the pot just called the kettle fat.

I love that they're singing a song about trying to cheat on your partner using the personal ads.

Friday, June 14, 2019

Mary Worth 3142

After what she went through with Arthur, Estelle's bar has been lowered significantly.

Thursday, June 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3141

I'm intrigued by a restaurant that offers quiche and catfish on the menu, but attracts customers by putting the most garish hamburger applique imaginable on its front window. I'm not sure what sort of visual metaphor June Brigman is going for here, but if it has something to do with sex, I don't want to know.

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3140

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hey, didn't we estimate Fabiana's emerald ring to be about 10 grand as well? They both like music and laughing, and they've both been scammed out of $10,000. So much in common.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Monday, June 10, 2019

Mary Worth 3138

It's a hamburger joint. Who do you think she's going to see there? Duh.

Wait a minute... Is the Estelle story still going on? I mean, Estelle really drove home the point that her Silverdater was not good looking... Could it be??

Friday, June 7, 2019

Mary Worth 3137

If looks are secondary to MANY other things, doesn't that make them, like, 47th or something? And apparently, Mr. Silverdater is ugly as sin, but he breaks into spontaneous song on the phone, and Estelle enjoys laughing at him. That's LOVE!

Wednesday, June 5, 2019

Mary Worth 3536

You hope to meet him SOON? Let's not rush things, Estelle! You haven't even sent him thousands of dollars yet.

Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Mary Worth 3135

What's he like? I don't really know. You see, I'm taking my time getting to know him. But we're getting married next Tuesday.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Mary Worth 3134

I was only joking on Thursday, when I said that Estelle was back on But while I was sleeping in on Sunday, indeed, she got back on the horse. Way to go, Estelle. Please remember, Arthur wasn't her first failure on Silver Daters. There were also, these guys:

Friday, May 31, 2019

Mary Worth 3133

Careful, Libby. The last time you sat on a computer keyboard, you got kicked out of the house.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Mary Worth 3132

Is Estelle checking out profiles on already? Good for her. Get back up on the horse.

I tried to visit, and my security software blocked the site due to "Phishing Scam." I guess the word has gotten out.

Monday, May 27, 2019

Mary Worth 3131

Terry Bryson PSA | Day 7

Thank heaven that Estelle recapped Terry's instructions, or readers without yesterday's splash panel would never see the website you can use for turning in people that annoy you online. But now that the site has appeared in Mary Worth, I'd expect the government servers to crash any moment.

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Mary Worth 3130

Terry Bryson PSA | Day 5

Also, beware of cats displaying unusual degrees of empathy. All cats are up to something and cannot be trusted.

Friday, May 24, 2019

Mary Worth 3129

Terry Bryson PSA | Day 4

I wish you'd said something about this yesterday, Terry. I could have saved $$3,000. Leading with the most important point is always a good idea.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Mary Worth 3128

Terry Bryson PSA | Day 2

But how, Terry Bryson? How do I research the person I'm talking to on dating sites? I'm sure you've got some secret hacks for violating other people's privacy.

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Mary Worth 3127

This is what Terry Bryson does best: Take six weeks to answer internet security questions that could best be answered by a simple Google search.

Monday, May 20, 2019

Mary Worth 3126

Love is keeping you alive? Be sure to mention that to Estelle when you meet her. I think it will help.

The Man Who Came to Dinner. Haddonfield Plays & Players. (c)2019 Photo Credit: Catherine Davies Photography
I'm having a great time in the play, but I have missed being able to wake up early enough to post here before heading off to work. Hang in there. Terry Bryson has arrived, so the next few weeks may be especially trying.

Saturday, May 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3125

You also need to educate yourself more about caring for houseplants.

Okay, while I was busy with the opening of our play (thanks everyone for your enthusiastic support), we learned that Terry Bryson is coming back. It isn't that I couldn't post this week, its just that Terry Bryson is coming back. I know, you all think of Terry Bryson as the on-again-off-again-on-again girlfriend (and now WIFE? Did I not get invited to the wedding??) of Adam Miller who took her for hot air balloon and roller coaster rides, but I can never forget that our first encounter with Terry Bryson inspired this post and almost ended this blog in September 2008.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3124

If you think reporting him would be fun, I think you should try real revenge!

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Mary Worth 3123

In just a few days, Estelle has gone from eating microwaved falafel to cat chow straight from the bag! Things don't look good for Libby.

I've been in the final week of rehearsals for "The Man Who Came to Dinner" at Haddonfield Plays and Players in Southern New Jersey. We have our first live audience tonight. If you've been wondering where I've been, that's the answer. And if you're in the area, come on by and say hi.