Saturday, March 23, 2019

Mary Worth 3090

Miss you guys!

While I’m still traveling, I just have to wonder, “Who signs a text to somebody they already know?” 



Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Mary Worth 3089

I just love taking tests

While Estelle is giving out answers to every possible security question, I’m going to take a little break to celebrate my parents’ birthdays. They both turned 80 this month so my siblings and I are all getting together with them. Have a wonderful week. 

By the way, they met in Sacramento. I hope I haven’t compromised my security by revealing that! 

Monday, March 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3087

Question 1: What is your date of birth?

Question 2: In what city were you born?

Question 3: What is your Social Security Number?

Question 4: What is your favorite credit card, its number, and the last three digits on the back?

Question 5: What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Thank you for filling out this questionnaire. I love you.

Friday, March 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3086

I realize, of course, that Libby the Cat is not talking to Estelle because that would make no sense... but then, very little in this story is making sense... so, hey, maybe it is Libby.

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3085

"And spend the rest of my life cracking my knuckles, picking my nose, and passing gas. That's love."

Tuesday, March 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3084

At first I didn't recognize this as e e cummings because of the All-Caps convention of the comic strip. So my question is, does Arthur Z want us to believe he wrote this himself? Or does Karen Moy?

Monday, March 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3083

It's been a long, tantalizing weekend of getting to know each other. It appears Estelle has learned from her mistakes. If only she'd spent this much time getting to know this guy:

But I am a little confused by this exchange yesterday:

He moved to Santa Royale three months ago, but hasn't returned to the United States? How does that work? I smell a catfish. I don't think Estelle and I can handle another disappointment!!

Also, Captain Marvel was amazing. My daughter introduced me to the comic book a couple of years ago. The movie was nearly perfect!

Friday, March 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3082

Ah, the moment it moves from Yahoo email to Yahoo instant messaging - perhaps the most exciting moment in a deceptive online relationship.

Tuesday, March 5, 2019

Mary Worth 3079

How could a man resist such an intriguing message? I'm sure if I opened my spam folder, I'd find thousands of emails with this exact message. That's how I know it will be effective.

Monday, March 4, 2019

Mary Worth 3078

I think I am learning nothing about using online dating sites. So you see their pictures, read their profiles, then have dinner with them? Then they show up and are 40 years older than their photo, or they are suddenly a hobo? I'm really confused why people do this.

Friday, March 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3077

In comedy, there's this thing called the Rule of 3. A sequence of jokes gets funnier at each reincorporation, up to three times. Go for a fourth and you've crossed a line. You've crossed a line, Moy. You've crossed a line. Unless this isn't meant to be funny and is only meant to demonstrate how desperately lonely (and hungry) Estelle is.

Thursday, February 28, 2019

Mary Worth 3076

Chin Napkin! Thank you, June.

You know, Estelle, you don't have to go out with everyone you meet online. In fact, it is probably a good idea to be a little bit discerning before you say yes. Unless of course, you're just in it for the food, and then by all means, go to town.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Mary Worth 2074

I think this is embarrassing for both of them. Clearly, Estelle is going to have to start lying about her age and looks so she doesn't have to eat dinner with men who are willing to settle.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Mary Worth 3072

Estelle, I think you're in for a whole lot of wonderful surprises.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

Mary Worth 3071

Stop grinning, Libby. You're creeping me out.

Mary Worth 3070

I forgot to hit publish on yesterday's blog entry, so with apologies for tardiness, here it is:

Already Google is serving up online dating sites on my blog... My revenue is definitely going to go up because online dating sites clearly have a wonderful array of possibilities. I don't know much about online dating myself, so maybe I should write a book about it. Or at least a comic strip.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Mary Worth 3069

I wish I were as confident as Mary that this will be a great love story.

Monday, February 18, 2019

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Mary Worth 3067

Meanwhile, while they're busy dancing on the couch, the pasta pot is scalding on the stove and the oven curtains have caught fire.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Mary Worth 3066

"All of it? Even the thing about being an old dinosaur who could never inspire anyone?"

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Mary Worth 3065

Of course, if Jannie actually did have real feelings for you, then falling for it would have been okay.

I really want to commend Karen Moy for her portrayal of the worst, most dysfunctional marriage I've ever seen. Every day, one of these two morons says something that makes my jaw drop even further than the day before. This is "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" kind of stuff.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3063

Oh, she has feelings for you, Ian. She feels you're a silly fool, a pompous old man, and a drunk, neglectful husband. Oh wait, the last one is how Toby feels.

Monday, February 11, 2019

Mary Worth 3062

"Toby, dear, why did you move the oven in front of the window? The glass is constantly fogged up and the drapes will catch on fire. Why don't we put it back in the kitchen where it belongs."

Friday, February 8, 2019

Mary Worth 3061

"I told her I'd meet her between the crazy doors where everyone walks into the concrete pillar."

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Mary Worth 3060

You're going to have to stop sculpting miniature ponies and painting clowns. Try being more like Banksy.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Mary Worth 3059

That's funny, Mary... I've been reading their minds for weeks. It's almost been too easy.

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Mary Worth 3058

Ouch, this hurts. In 1997, Volkswagen released its New Beetle and I was smitten, mostly for sentimental reasons. It took a few years, but in 2002, I bought a 1997 model in Ian Cameron Red. At first, I was a happy driver. But very soon, the love waned. The first problem was that the cup holders were under the dashboard without enough clearance to insert a can of soda without having to tip it far enough that it would spill. The car was mostly plastic, and over the years, pieces began to break and fall off. Sometimes, the electric windows would spontaneously open, and in the last few years, they'd open whenever you unlocked the car. Sometimes the electric systems would cut off, killing the engine and (dangerously) the power steering. When a couple of friends heard that I was going to junk it in 2015, they'd ask if they could buy it. I asked why, and they both said it was for their teenaged driver. I told them no, I didn't want to be responsible for their child's death.

So now I learn that I drove the same car as Ian for over 13 years. This is a very depressing day for me, but at least I was smart enough never to drive it on a bicycle path.

Monday, February 4, 2019

Mary Worth 3057

In previous fantasies, the words were the same, but the tone was very different.

Ian, you just described your marriage.

Friday, February 1, 2019

Mary Worth 3056

It's the people who care about you the most who have the courage to speak the truth.

Thursday, January 31, 2019

Mary Worth 3055

Poor, Ian. The only student he ever loved, turns on him like a weather vane in Kansas. I really, really thought they had a future together.

And when he gets home, his jealous wife will have packed her bags and left again.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

Mary Worth 3054

A day without a secret message is like a day without sunshine.

"Certain things are meant to be overlooked. Like your obesity, and your chin beard."

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Monday, January 28, 2019

Mary Worth 3052

"After all that time I put into buttering him up, I could have been working on my assignment instead! And believe me, flattering Ian was a lot more difficult than the assignment!"

Friday, January 25, 2019

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Mary Worth 3050

Of course, I can't be certain, but I believe his exact thoughts are, "Thank heaven for our tiny little utensils! Portion control is the only way I'll get the body Jannie craves."

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Mary Worth 3049

I don't recall seeing Jannie in a turtleneck sweater before, but I'm glad that when Ian imagines Jannie in the privacy of his own brain, he dresses her in additional clothing.

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Mary Worth 3048

That look was cute on Libby the One-Eyed Cat, but on you it just looks strained.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Mary Worth 3047

We get it, June. Kids today spend too much time staring at their phones, making them as cold and detached as Medussa's statuary.