I have to say, Entertainer Esme, with her line of chorus boys in taped-on stovepipe hats, is one of the best things to hit this strip in a long time. But, Derek, let me warn you about falling for a stage performer. On stage, sure, she's sexy and smiling and oh so into you. But three weeks into the relationship you're going to start to learn some things. Either 1) she's so ambitious for public affection that she has no idea how to sustain an intimate relationship, or 2) her craft is merely compensation for massive insecurity, and she may even begin to doubt that you love her more than your wife.
Derek, if you want to upset Katie, stick with cigarettes. Much less complicated.
Oh, I do hope we get to hear Ginger (Trademark Sandi Ego) sing the entire song. First performer, first verse, and the audience is literally stunned. By the end of the show, the audience will be nothing more than a gelatinous blob dripping under their seats.
Citizens of Santa Royale, please complete this lyric: "Life is like..."
So, "Good" has passed "Love" with a double appearance today! "Looking forward" didn't qualify for this competition, but it's kind of a shame because it keeps showing up, and I'm starting to feel bad for it.
Enjoy: 13 Good:12 Love: 11 Nice: 5
This show makes me miss my daughter who is graduating from BYU next week. I'll pick her up and drive with her across the country back home to New Jersey. I'm looking forward to it. Ladies and gentlemen, Maggie Andersen:
Later? If you don't hurry now, you won't have good seats for tonight's musical production of "Titanic!"
For those keeping score (and I am):
Enjoy: 13 Love: 10 Good:9 Nice: 5
And if you're looking forward to the Titanic musical, here's a preview:
I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I've tried to make a collection of the descriptive words in this story so far. I'll leave the interpretation up to you. Enjoy!
This! This is why! This is why Karen Moy deserves a Pulitzer Prize or something. Instead of being boxed in by established literary conventions and showing us the towel folding demonstration, she uses beautiful descriptive language ("very nice!") to paint a picture, allowing us to visualize the towel folding demonstration ourselves! After eight days of build up, I never expected to be so not disappointed! Maybe next week someone can describe the formal dress up dinner (very nice!).
I'm starting to suspect that neither of them have ever been on a cruise before -- excuse me, cruised before -- but they don't want to appear out of it, so they each memorized travel brochures to appear knowledgeable. It's constant pressure to continuously reinforce their previously unknown passion for cruising. Hopefully a delightful evening of tapping their toes to "Nostradamus!" will help them relax.
Events Guide Bargain Cruise Lines
7:00 Bed Making Demonstration 8:00 Towel Folding 9:00 Dish Washing 11:00 Bag Lunch Packing 12:00 Vacuuming 2:00 Dancing by the Pool with the Polaris Pressure Pool Cleaner Line 3:00 Deck Swabbing 4:00 Dinner Preparation 8:00 Dish Washing II 10:00 Watching for Icebergs
This helpful orientation tip is brought to you by Norwegian Cruise Lines because, according to my Google research, it's the only cruise line that does this. Sadly, the ship they're boarding appears to be a piece of junk compared to the jewels that make up the NCL fleet.
This is either or horrible pick-up line, or another example of Robo-tron2000™ automated dialog output.
I just have trouble with people using the noun cruise as a verb. Do people really talk like that? I've only heard people say, "We're going on a cruise." Not, "We're going cruising," unless they're going to be driving back and forth on McHenry Avenue listening to Wolfman Jack on AM radio.
Ah hah! This story is about more than just sailing into the Bermuda Triangle! It's about giving up cigarettes. Hopefully nothing stressful will happen to the Hoosiers from Kentucky on this trip. My advice? Avoid the old lady in front of you.
True story: Mrs. Wanders and I celebrated our first anniversary at the Kentucky State Fair in 1993. As a native Californian, I was stunned to see that it seemed like the biggest 4-H Club exhibit at this HUGE event was the how-to-grow-and-cure-tobacco-so-teenagers-can-start-smoking-and-die-young exhibit. Then there were horses.
Mr. Hoosier's speech impediment helps him to rhyme Hoosier's with Cruishers. But speech impediments will not be a concern on the high seas! He won't have to put up with the taunts of his bowling league buddies back home in Kentucky for an entire week!
Wait... that's it? I found a good deal, you sure know how to pick 'em? Let the comedy hijinks commence as Mary and Toby embark on the cheapest cruise inside the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe the ship will break down and they'll be stranded without air conditioning or running water. Maybe they'll get kidnapped at their first port of call. Maybe they'll eat bad shrimp and spend the entire cruise throwing up... or perhaps that will just be us.
Jeff has successfully fulfilled his responsibilities as a Man of Honor. Recognizing that Ian will be at a teaching summit, he acknowledges Mary's invitation as thoughtful and kind, but graciously declines due to health, while silently knowing it would be inappropriate for him as a single man to travel with his girlfriend and another man's wife. Why? Because he would go CRAZY!!
"Dear Wendy, thanks for your recent advice, but I sent you my letter three weeks ago! While waiting for your response, the company offered the job to someone else! Thanks for being so slow to respond. If it weren't for you, I'd have to go to work today. But as it is, I have plenty of time to go on a cruise. It's a good thing that financial concerns aren't ever a consideration in the Worthiverse. Signed, Broke but Who Cares."
If everyone with a knee problem never went on a cruise, the cruise lines would lose half their passengers! I've never cruised, but I have many friends who do, and most of them wish their health problems were limited to their knees. Cruise ships are floating geriatric wards.
I'm sorry to have been away, dear readers. I just couldn't take it anymore. My life seemed too important and precious to spend another moment blogging about Iris and Tommy Beedie. But now: Toby! I can go on ignoring my responsibilities, and focusing on what truly is inspiring. Although I must admit, my first hope was that this story would follow Ian to his teaching summit in Seattle, it looks like we get to enjoy "Toby and Mary go to the Tropics" instead. Hopefully, they'll discover the Lost Treasure of the Golden Monkey of Stinky Island.
For an unemployed widow who attends an expensive university, lives in an upscale Southern California condominium, supports an adult son who is also unemployed and who sees an expensive specialist to help overcome his addiction to expensive opiates, Iris sure eats out a lot. If Mary doesn't bring over a casserole soon, she's going to have to hawk her iPhone.
I find today's strip a little ironic because clearly Karen Moy has been abandoned by June Brigman and is desperately cutting out old strips to paste her dialog onto. I'm just hoping that June is okay. Here's September 20th's strip, for those of you who like to reminisce:
If you're trying to make changes in your life, here is some very good advice from the old Mary Tyler Moore show:
"Hey, Ma, isn't that your boyfriend? I haven't seen him (or you) since Christmas. Now here we are, all together again."
I know we were all expecting this, and we were hoping that Zak would be going out with the waitress who dumped Tommy instead of just some random girl, but I'm optimistic that this moment marks the end of this epic story arc that started last June when Mary volunteered Mr. Allora to help with the Beedie move. It's been quite an ordeal spending nine months with the Beedies, but you did it! You've stuck it out! I'm proud of all of us.