I also appreciate today's secret message, Wanders. We can all hope.
A local restaurant/entertainment spot is featuring "Zack Attack, from Cincinnati" on New Year's Eve. From Cincinnati by way of Santa Royale? I bet Iris will be right up front, in a sparkly short dress. Maybe she''lol be sporting a tattoo by then.
Well, he's not short, fat and greasy looking, he does't have a ridiculous looking combover, he probably looks 100% better in a Speedo than you do, he doesn't go around showing his hairy disgusting legs...the list is endless.
Wow, Wilbur is actually getting worked up. What's going to happen when he does to the parking lot and sees Zak and Iris making out in the car? When Zak sees the "competition", I'm sure he'll double over laughing. I wonder if Mary and Toby will be spying in the window when Wilbur challenges Zak to a duel for Iris' honor.
Wilbur is indeed a massive tool. He basically dumped Iris for an obvious scam artist (why else would a beautiful, young woman go for him?) and now he's angry that she moved on? I think he's going to work himself up into a heart attack.
Maybe now’s the time for Wilbur to go to Park and find that hobo that completely turned Nola Wolvensen around with just a few short sentences. Or - go to Park and get mugged by Shovey Shovenson. Hmm. I’m pulling for Shovey.
--he's young --he's fit --he's confident --he has a full head of hair --he's entrepreneurial --he has a snappy car --he doesn't have stubbly legs --he makes good money --he avoids making jewelry purchases in Bogota --he doesn't have an elderly matron write his advice column --he doesn't have an advice column he writes under a female pen name --he has no children who are drains on society (at least not until/unless he marries Iris) --he's witty --he doesn't say mi amor --he can salsa dance --he looks good in a speedo --he's aware of his surroundings --he understands when he is in and not in a relationship --he eats healthy foods like kelk and flak --he has a toothbrush at Iris' condo --he also....what's that you say?....It was a rhetorical question?....
So is Wilbur done with his Survival Stories series (which there was one in Antarctica)? I don't remember him going anywhere else except Bogota and that was all about him (and Fabiana). Then he came home to stalk Iris. He hasn't taken back Ask Wendy from Mary either. So how does he pay the mortgage? How does he pay for Dawn's endless tuition? How does he plan to compete with Zak to win Iris back? What kind of computer game would Wilbur create? There's already an app called "Lunch Food Maker" where you make virtual sandwiches . . .
Wilbur's current depiction is so unflattering, I wonder about the reactions of Iris and Zak when they encounter him.. Where? The parking lot at Charterstone? That would be the most charitable thing, but I'd love to see them looking hip at a pool party as Wilbur appears in a bathing suit with legs that look as if the hairs were singed in a fire-dancing contest in Bogota. Bleah.. As he cluelessly wonders how Iris' new flame compares to him, his protruding stomach nudges the front door at Charterstone. Ick... When he was on the phone with Iris, accusing her of being in a "rebound" relationship, his appearance in that bathrobe, leaning against a tacky polka-dot pillow that impugns not only his appearance but also his taste, leads me to actually feel almost (almost) sorry for him. She's a cruel illustrator, that June...
15 comments:
As Wilbur's anger builds, his comb-over becomes more pronounced.
Well, Wilbur, he's definitely more lovely and more temperate.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Even If Beauty Is Truly Only Skin-Deep, Wilbur's Makeover Will Be Extensive And Time-Consuming".
New...Zak! That?
Is?
Compare?
(Wanders, your secret message made me LOL. Wow.)
Rest easy, Wilbur. There's no comparison.
I also appreciate today's secret message, Wanders. We can all hope.
A local restaurant/entertainment spot is featuring "Zack Attack, from Cincinnati" on New Year's Eve. From Cincinnati by way of Santa Royale? I bet Iris will be right up front, in a sparkly short dress. Maybe she''lol be sporting a tattoo by then.
Wilbur: "How does he compare to me?"
Well, he's not short, fat and greasy looking, he does't have a ridiculous looking combover, he probably looks 100% better in a Speedo than you do, he doesn't go around showing his hairy disgusting legs...the list is endless.
Wow, Wilbur is actually getting worked up. What's going to happen when he does to the parking lot and sees Zak and Iris making out in the car? When Zak sees the "competition", I'm sure he'll double over laughing. I wonder if Mary and Toby will be spying in the window when Wilbur challenges Zak to a duel for Iris' honor.
Wilbur is such a tool.
Wilbur is indeed a massive tool. He basically dumped Iris for an obvious scam artist (why else would a beautiful, young woman go for him?) and now he's angry that she moved on? I think he's going to work himself up into a heart attack.
Maybe now’s the time for Wilbur to go to Park and find that hobo that completely turned Nola Wolvensen around with just a few short sentences. Or - go to Park and get mugged by Shovey Shovenson. Hmm. I’m pulling for Shovey.
How does he compare to Wilbur?
--he's young
--he's fit
--he's confident
--he has a full head of hair
--he's entrepreneurial
--he has a snappy car
--he doesn't have stubbly legs
--he makes good money
--he avoids making jewelry purchases in Bogota
--he doesn't have an elderly matron write his advice column
--he doesn't have an advice column he writes under a female pen name
--he has no children who are drains on society (at least not until/unless he marries Iris)
--he's witty
--he doesn't say mi amor
--he can salsa dance
--he looks good in a speedo
--he's aware of his surroundings
--he understands when he is in and not in a relationship
--he eats healthy foods like kelk and flak
--he has a toothbrush at Iris' condo
--he also....what's that you say?....It was a rhetorical question?....
So is Wilbur done with his Survival Stories series (which there was one in Antarctica)? I don't remember him going anywhere else except Bogota and that was all about him (and Fabiana). Then he came home to stalk Iris. He hasn't taken back Ask Wendy from Mary either. So how does he pay the mortgage? How does he pay for Dawn's endless tuition? How does he plan to compete with Zak to win Iris back? What kind of computer game would Wilbur create? There's already an app called "Lunch Food Maker" where you make virtual sandwiches . . .
Wilbur's current depiction is so unflattering, I wonder about the reactions of Iris and Zak when they encounter him.. Where? The parking lot at Charterstone? That would be the most charitable thing, but I'd love to see them looking hip at a pool party as Wilbur appears in a bathing suit with legs that look as if the hairs were singed in a fire-dancing contest in Bogota. Bleah.. As he cluelessly wonders how Iris' new flame compares to him, his protruding stomach nudges the front door at Charterstone. Ick... When he was on the phone with Iris, accusing her of being in a "rebound" relationship, his appearance in that bathrobe, leaning against a tacky polka-dot pillow that impugns not only his appearance but also his taste, leads me to actually feel almost (almost) sorry for him. She's a cruel illustrator, that June...
I'm guessing that Wilbur is on his way over to Mary's, to see what she knows about this Zak guy.
Maybe Wilbur is creating new material for the next survival story: Iris'.
"How I survived the stalking of a fat, balding, middle-aged guy who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. #me too
“What is that about?”
Wilbur, it’s always all about the ol’ Hokey Pokey.
I can't WAIT to see when "Zakiks" Wilbur's big, fat butt!
Post a Comment