Sunday, April 30, 2017
Friday, April 28, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Wednesday, April 26, 2017
Tuesday, April 25, 2017
I have to say, Entertainer Esme, with her line of chorus boys in taped-on stovepipe hats, is one of the best things to hit this strip in a long time. But, Derek, let me warn you about falling for a stage performer. On stage, sure, she's sexy and smiling and oh so into you. But three weeks into the relationship you're going to start to learn some things. Either 1) she's so ambitious for public affection that she has no idea how to sustain an intimate relationship, or 2) her craft is merely compensation for massive insecurity, and she may even begin to doubt that you love her more than your wife.
Derek, if you want to upset Katie, stick with cigarettes. Much less complicated.
Monday, April 24, 2017
Oh, I do hope we get to hear Ginger (Trademark Sandi Ego) sing the entire song. First performer, first verse, and the audience is literally stunned. By the end of the show, the audience will be nothing more than a gelatinous blob dripping under their seats.
Citizens of Santa Royale, please complete this lyric: "Life is like..."
Sunday, April 23, 2017
So, "Good" has passed "Love" with a double appearance today! "Looking forward" didn't qualify for this competition, but it's kind of a shame because it keeps showing up, and I'm starting to feel bad for it.
Enjoy: 13 Good:12 Love: 11 Nice: 5
This show makes me miss my daughter who is graduating from BYU next week. I'll pick her up and drive with her across the country back home to New Jersey. I'm looking forward to it. Ladies and gentlemen, Maggie Andersen:
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Friday, April 21, 2017
Later? If you don't hurry now, you won't have good seats for tonight's musical production of "Titanic!"
For those keeping score (and I am):
Enjoy: 13 Love: 10 Good:9 Nice: 5
And if you're looking forward to the Titanic musical, here's a preview:
Thursday, April 20, 2017
I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I've tried to make a collection of the descriptive words in this story so far. I'll leave the interpretation up to you. Enjoy!
Wednesday, April 19, 2017
Tuesday, April 18, 2017
This! This is why! This is why Karen Moy deserves a Pulitzer Prize or something. Instead of being boxed in by established literary conventions and showing us the towel folding demonstration, she uses beautiful descriptive language ("very nice!") to paint a picture, allowing us to visualize the towel folding demonstration ourselves! After eight days of build up, I never expected to be so not disappointed! Maybe next week someone can describe the formal dress up dinner (very nice!).
Monday, April 17, 2017
I'm starting to suspect that neither of them have ever been on a cruise before -- excuse me, cruised before -- but they don't want to appear out of it, so they each memorized travel brochures to appear knowledgeable. It's constant pressure to continuously reinforce their previously unknown passion for cruising. Hopefully a delightful evening of tapping their toes to "Nostradamus!" will help them relax.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Saturday, April 15, 2017
Events Guide Bargain Cruise Lines
7:00 Bed Making Demonstration 8:00 Towel Folding 9:00 Dish Washing 11:00 Bag Lunch Packing 12:00 Vacuuming 2:00 Dancing by the Pool with the Polaris Pressure Pool Cleaner Line 3:00 Deck Swabbing 4:00 Dinner Preparation 8:00 Dish Washing II 10:00 Watching for Icebergs
Friday, April 14, 2017
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Tuesday, April 11, 2017
Monday, April 10, 2017
Friday, April 7, 2017
Thursday, April 6, 2017
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Tuesday, April 4, 2017
Monday, April 3, 2017
Sunday, April 2, 2017
This helpful orientation tip is brought to you by Norwegian Cruise Lines because, according to my Google research, it's the only cruise line that does this. Sadly, the ship they're boarding appears to be a piece of junk compared to the jewels that make up the NCL fleet.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
This is either or horrible pick-up line, or another example of Robo-tron2000™ automated dialog output.
I just have trouble with people using the noun cruise as a verb. Do people really talk like that? I've only heard people say, "We're going on a cruise." Not, "We're going cruising," unless they're going to be driving back and forth on McHenry Avenue listening to Wolfman Jack on AM radio.