Thursday, April 27, 2017

Mary Worth 2575

 

And looking more and more attractive every time she opens her mouth. "Yes, honey, you're an amazing performer as well."

Enjoy: 13
Good:13
Love: 11
Nice: 5 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Mary Worth 2574

I have to say, Entertainer Esme, with her line of chorus boys in taped-on stovepipe hats, is one of the best things to hit this strip in a long time. But, Derek, let me warn you about falling for a stage performer. On stage, sure, she's sexy and smiling and oh so into you. But three weeks into the relationship you're going to start to learn some things. Either 1) she's so ambitious for public affection that she has no idea how to sustain an intimate relationship, or 2) her craft is merely compensation for massive insecurity, and she may even begin to doubt that you love her more than your wife.

Derek, if you want to upset Katie, stick with cigarettes. Much less complicated.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Mary Worth 2573

Oh, I do hope we get to hear Ginger (Trademark Sandi Ego) sing the entire song. First performer, first verse, and the audience is literally stunned. By the end of the show, the audience will be nothing more than a gelatinous blob dripping under their seats.

Citizens of Santa Royale, please complete this lyric: "Life is like..."

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Mary Worth 2672

So, "Good" has passed "Love" with a double appearance today! "Looking forward" didn't qualify for this competition, but it's kind of a shame because it keeps showing up, and I'm starting to feel bad for it.

Enjoy: 13
Good:12
Love: 11
Nice: 5

This show makes me miss my daughter who is graduating from BYU next week. I'll pick her up and drive with her across the country back home to New Jersey. I'm looking forward to it. Ladies and gentlemen, Maggie Andersen:

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Mary Worth 2571

The Activities Guide says this is a variety of acts, and given that Mary spent a lot of time watching Ziegfeld's Follies on the Great White Way, she knows when a variety show is Broadway quality.

Enjoy: 13
Love: 11
Good:10
Nice: 5

Friday, April 21, 2017

Mary Worth 2570

Later? If you don't hurry now, you won't have good seats for tonight's musical production of "Titanic!"

For those keeping score (and I am):

Enjoy: 13
Love: 10
Good:9
Nice: 5

And if you're looking forward to the Titanic musical, here's a preview:

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Mary Worth 2569

I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I've tried to make a collection of the descriptive words in this story so far. I'll leave the interpretation up to you. Enjoy!


Traveling: Love
Cruises: Enjoyed
Travel: Fun
Cruises: Enjoy
Amenities: Love
Food: And the... !
Cooking: Love
Deal: Good
Spread: Delicious
Cooking: Better
Cruise: Enjoy
Deal: Good
Deal: Great
Trip: Enjoy
Cruises: Love
See: Easy
Food: And the... !
Trip: Enjoy
Seattle: Beautiful
Fly: Good
Walks: Beautiful
Classes: Fun
Entertainment: Galore
Food: Endless
Ports: Several
Time: Great
Time: Enjoy
Smoke: Dying
Promises: Good
Ship: Big
Cruise: Treat
Hints: Helpful
Hints: Helpful
Ship: Big
Cruise: Enjoy
People: Friendly
Idea: Good
Dining: Crowded
Seats: Glad
Luggage: Good
Friend: Dear
Room: Nice
Outside: Exciting
Feel: Fortunate
View: Beautiful
Cruise: Memorable
Anywhere: Memorable
This: Beautiful
You: Beautiful
Smoke: Hate
You: Worth
Marriage: Worth
Today: Enjoy
Shapes: Interesting
Sea: Love
YMCA: Fun
Break: Short
Chairs: Inviting
Air: Love
Air: Refreshing
Yourselves: Enjoying
Walk: Enjoying
Activities: Worth
To do: Plenty
Class: Early
Dinner: Formal
Excuse: Love
Entertainment: Good
Shows: Worth
Tonight: Enjoy
Entertainment: Enjoyed
Dinner: Fun
Demonstration: Nice
Walk: Nice
Couple: Nice
Love: Young
Love: Real
Dining: Grand
Buffet: Love
Eating: Casual
Evening: Good
Lobster: Good
You: Nice
Dinner: Enjoy

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Mary Worth 2568

Good save, Mary. For a moment, I thought you were criticizing the buffet. Do you ever get the feeling that this is just some tax write-off for Karen Moy's last vacation?

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Mary Worth 2567

This! This is why! This is why Karen Moy deserves a Pulitzer Prize or something. Instead of being boxed in by established literary conventions and showing us the towel folding demonstration, she uses beautiful descriptive language ("very nice!") to paint a picture, allowing us to visualize the towel folding demonstration ourselves! After eight days of build up, I never expected to be so not disappointed! Maybe next week someone can describe the formal dress up dinner (very nice!).

Monday, April 17, 2017

Mary Worth 2566

I'm starting to suspect that neither of them have ever been on a cruise before -- excuse me, cruised before -- but they don't want to appear out of it, so they each memorized travel brochures to appear knowledgeable. It's constant pressure to continuously reinforce their previously unknown passion for cruising. Hopefully a delightful evening of tapping their toes to "Nostradamus!" will help them relax.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Mary Worth 2564

Events Guide
Bargain Cruise Lines


7:00 Bed Making Demonstration
8:00 Towel Folding
9:00 Dish Washing
11:00 Bag Lunch Packing
12:00 Vacuuming
2:00 Dancing by the Pool with the Polaris Pressure Pool Cleaner Line
3:00 Deck Swabbing
4:00 Dinner Preparation
8:00 Dish Washing II
10:00 Watching for Icebergs

Friday, April 14, 2017

Mary Worth 2563

"You remind me of my mother. She folds towels, too. Enjoy the rest of your cruise."

Thursday, April 13, 2017

Mary Worth 2562

Holy camoly, Katie darling. If you're going to accuse Derek of wanting to smoke every time he sees someone taking a puff, maybe you ought to avoid taking walks through the designated smoking section.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Mary Worth 2560

Many of you will probably think I should add YMCA by the Village People to the Charterstone Jukebox, but here's the thing: I actually listen to the Charterstone Jukebox. A lot. And there's no way I will ever put YMCA on the Jukebox. So stop your begging.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Mary Worth 2559

Sunday:

Well, I hope you enjoyed yesterday... because this is what tomorrow brought:

Friday, April 7, 2017

Mary Worth 2558

While I expected the room to be smaller, I am quite satisfied to see that their legs will hang over the foot of the bed.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Mary Worth 2557

Trust me. This story ends with Toby hiding out in the Hoosiers apartment, chain smoking Pall Malls.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Mary Worth 2556

I've learned another thing about cruising. No plates. Just plop the pie right on the tray. Every day, this strip makes me want to cruise more and more. I'm even using the verb form now.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Mary Worth 2555

I am learning so much about cruising! Fish carpets. Key cards. Who knew? I'll let you know when it starts to sound interesting.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Mary Worth 2554

"My mother is old and friendly, too. And she didn't object to your being a smoker of indeterminate race and no visible sign of an Adam's apple."

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Mary Worth 2553

This helpful orientation tip is brought to you by Norwegian Cruise Lines because, according to my Google research, it's the only cruise line that does this. Sadly, the ship they're boarding appears to be a piece of junk compared to the jewels that make up the NCL fleet.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Mary Worth 2552

This is either or horrible pick-up line, or another example of Robo-tron2000™ automated dialog output.

I just have trouble with people using the noun cruise as a verb. Do people really talk like that? I've only heard people say, "We're going on a cruise." Not, "We're going cruising," unless they're going to be driving back and forth on McHenry Avenue listening to Wolfman Jack on AM radio.