"Dear confused, remind me again why two employers are interested in hiring you? Is it because of your analytical skills? Your decisiveness? Or is it because you expect 'Ask Wendy' to solve your problems for you?"
Monday, January 30, 2017
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Monday, January 23, 2017
"I'm also not dumb. I know who you were quoting. My point is, I'm not a kid. Geez, you're just like my mom, always treating me like a child. Is it because I over compensate for my immaturity by constantly nurturing my pathetic perma-stubble? Is it because my eye color hasn't stabilized yet? It's called iris-variosis, okay? I know that, yes, most boys' eye color is determined by the time they're ten years old... I'm just a late bloomer. But I assure you, I lost all my baby teeth years ago."
Saturday, January 21, 2017
Friday, January 20, 2017
It's kind of like she has to choose between two jobs! One job is fun and exciting, with a business degree that promises a life of security, and is young enough to be around for a good long time. The other is boring, sullen, over weight and over the hill, with a relatively short lifespan, and writes for a low paying, small-market weekly newspaper. Which job to choose? Which job to choose? It's time to Ask Wendy.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Wednesday, January 18, 2017
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
"And, Dawn, I'm going to mix the drinks myself because I've been studying mixology. I've invented several new drinks this week alone. Also, do you like my shirt? I designed and sewed it myself because I've been taking a class in fashion design. Next semester, I plan to teach it."
Monday, January 16, 2017
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Friday, January 13, 2017
Wasn't the last Ask Wendy letter about taking on a new job after twenty years? And now she has two jobs to choose from? This new economy is really great for our Ask Wendy reader. But if that letter is supposed to be a metaphor for Iris trying to decide between watching an overweight, third-rate journalist for the local weekly type away in an abandoned Antarctic science station, or dancing the night away with a hot MBA student with biceps the size of Buicks, I'm not really seeing a lot of indecision in Iris's body language right now. I really think the letter is just a convenient way to cut away so we don't have to watch Zak dance.
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Yesterday when Zak said he had an activity in mind that Iris MIGHT like, when it comes to bowling, "might" was a very important word in that sentence. Bowling is a declining sport in the U.S., and California has the third lowest number of bowling alleys per capita in the nation, making it seem to be hugely unpopular there. The odds of Iris actually enjoying bowling on a second date seem really slim. Asking your date, "Do you like to bowl?" would go a long way toward avoiding disaster, but embarrassing her with a bowling date definitely makes life more interesting. And if Zak is anything, he is embarrassing... I mean interesting.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Monday, January 9, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
Saturday, January 7, 2017
Friday, January 6, 2017
Thursday, January 5, 2017
"Could you please send me some money? It's expensive here in in Antarctica, and my paper is only providing a $35 per dium. Turns out there are no survivors here because they are always evacuated to Australia. As soon as I get enough money scraped together, I intend to work my way across the Southern Ocean on a penguin hunter's schooner."
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
One of the most touching aspects of this beautiful story is that Zak doesn't even know how broke and in debt Iris is, and yet he still says nice things to her, and may one day even tell her his last name. He is constantly lifting her self esteem, which he found wadded up in the dust under a table at Jerry's after years of being stepped on by Wilbur Weston.
Here's something else I found wadded up under a table at Jerry's:
Zak's Playbook: 1) Find a female with horrible self esteem. 2) Make her feel young by inviting her to do young people things. 3) Have friends make fun of her. 4) Compliment her. Say nice things. Tell her she's beautiful. 5) Hug her in the car.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
Sunday, January 1, 2017
The Charterstone Condo Board is pleased to present the Ninth Annual Worthy Awards! Brought to you by Vicodin, available at many different pharmacies near you! Boss got you down? Girlfriend dump you? Then strain your back, and try Vicodin! It's all you'll ever need.
Many of Santa Royale's blue blood establishment are here tonight, as well as many up-and-comers. So put on your yoga pants, it's time for an opening number!
Tonight's winner of the 2016 Aldo Kelrast Memorial Worthy Award goes to ...
Mr. Beedie, thank you for the powerful influence you've had on your son! His fear of hospitals and preference for prison food is all thanks to you!
And now, for our first Worthy Award. The nominees for OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A FLOATING HEAD are...
And the winner is...
This is Tommy Beedie's first Worthy Award, and this one truly represents his courage to push artistic boundaries, establishing new standards of genius.
The nominees for OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER are...
The nominees for OUTSTANDING PANEL OF 2016 are...
Pork Chops and Acrobats
Perhaps the best seats for the most amazing performers in the most fantastic venue in the greatest city in the world! And the pork chops are very good!
The nominees for OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A RECURRING CHARACTER are...
Thank you... may we continue? Thank you...
And now, the nominees for OUTSTANDING STORY OF 2016 are...
It's been a long night, but before you go, I was trying to think of a way to thank Joe Giella for his awesomeness and to honor him in some way. I know that Uncle Joe probably and hopefully won't ever need their services, but the Hero Initiative is a fund that is set up to support comic book creators in need, generally in need of essential medical treatment. I've just made a donation there, and I invite you to do so as well. If you donate using PayPal, in the special instructions link just before you make your payment, please mention that this is "In Honor of Joe Giella," and I'd be honored if you mention MaryWorthandMe.com. Have a great night everybody!