Thursday, January 12, 2017

Mary Worth 2495

Maybe if Zak builds her a cake, or something, Iris will agree to go to the dance with him. He's pretty much the second best dancer in the whole school.

11 comments:

fauxprof said...

Loving the Giella-like disembodied hand in between Iris and Zak. Sort of reminds me of "Thing" from The Addams Family.

Nance said...

LOL! Due to your Hidden Message and the name it contained, my Chrome extension--Make America Kittens Again--replaced today's panel with a picture of kittens. I have to say, I didn't mind at all.

Zak knows that girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. Bowling skills, dancing skills, nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills....

meg said...

Santa Royale Man Airlifted from Antarctica
After Running Afowl of Local Customs

Wilbur Weston, 58, a not-very-well-known free lance writer, has been airlifted from Base Antarctica after being injured in what was apparently a practical joke. He is recovering in hospital in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Shockingly, former astronaut Buzz Aldrin was injured in a nearly identical accident in early December of last year.

First time visitors to the South Pole are subjected to various pranks and practical jokes in order to initiate them into the community there.

The potentially humorous escapade in which Weston was injured is based on a US television show, and is known as Dancing With the Penguins. Newcomers are persuaded to choose a penguin partner, ingratiate themselves with her, then drape a crepe paper 'gown' on the penguin, and then to perform a rudimentary dance. Buzz Aldrin slipped on the ice as he approached his 'partner', and shortly thereafter was evacuated from the Pole.

Wilbur Weston, however, was wholly committed to his performance. He spent time selecting the most attractive penguin (generally the one with the smallest number of guano stains on the lower regions); he eagerly examined the various shades of crepe paper available for the 'gown'; and he quietly chuckled as he thought about his ace in the hole: Unlike most sojourners at the South Pole, Weston had a Giorgio Armani tuxedo in his luggage.

Alert readers can anticipate what happened next: Weston donned his tux and approached his partner with a long swath of bright red crepe paper. He failed to realize that the King Emperor penguin he had chosen was indeed a King, and not a Queen. When the KE penguin- let's call him Perry- saw Weston in his fine dinner suit, he mistook him for another penguin- and he fell in love.

Perry slid across the ice at great speed. Wilbur thought they were going to dance, and put out his arms, waving the red paper at Perry. Perry locked Wilbur in a tight embrace and began to groom Weston's sparse hair. The more Wilbur shrieked and shrilled, the harder Perry groomed. Farce became near tragedy until several burly scientists rushed forward and peeled Perry off his love. Perry waddled rapidly away, as did Weston.

Cards and flowers may be sent to the Birdhurt Wing of Christchurch Hospital.

Anonymous said...

LOL Meg, nearly did a spit take on my computer.

WHen Zak talked about dancing, the first thing that popped in my head was John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John at the high school dance. Please KM and Aunt June, make my fantasy a reality and have Zak and Iris recreate this epic dance number. Dawn can take the role of Cha Cha De Gregorio and Harlan can be Vince Fontaine.

KitKat said...

Oh @meg, the image of Wilbur and an amorous penguin just about did me in at my desk.

Zak, that should be "You ain't seen nothin' yet!" Please be consistent in your non-standard English. BTW, I'd rather see you shave, not dance.

Ha, what I thought was a Kit Carson shirt on Zak turns out to be a Members Only jacket.

Trilkhai Kitty said...

“You should see me dance! I start with my fingers in this awesome syfy move with my hand in a 180° — haha, bet you didn’t know I’ve got double–jointed wrists…”

Iris considered correcting him for a split–second, then plastered the “fake it ’till you feel it” impressed smile on her face that she’d mastered as Tommy’s mother. She could think of much better things to do with flexible wrists…like shave the caterpillar sprouting from his lower lip. “No, I had no idea! Let’s go so you can show me in private.”

Zak nodded his head in that surfer–boy way that often gave Iris the impression it was about to fall off of his neck. “Haha, awesome, we can use some of that ‘Pet Banater’ music you told me about!”

LouiseF said...

So,Meg, Iris, after reading this story in SANTA ROYALE NEWSPAPER, might be wracked with guilt and FINALLY return Wilbur's email?? Think it's time she came clean with him now that she's in the bowling phase of her relationship with Zak...

Regina the NY Diva said...

I think Zak is a LOT older than he's telling us, as he's quoting Al Jolson's line from The Jazz Singer:

https://youtu.be/KD_YRnuuKyY

Please Zak do the dance and the whistling that Al Jolson does in this clip.

True Standish said...

WOW! I am lovin' the artwork nowadays! ... However ...

I do NOT love the fact that Zak's formerly beautiful, sexy GREEN eyes have been rendered blue for some inexplicable reason ... bot on the other hand ...

I LOVE the jazz hands and the need to dance! (Although I kind of suspect that Zak might only want to be friends with Iris ...)

Anonymous said...

Zak is such a good bowler that the pins fall in fright before even being struck by the ball! I'm not sure whose disembodied hand that is, but I wonder if he/she is going dancing with Zak and Iris. What will Iris wear to the sock hop?

Moss_Moses said...

An old geezer like Professor Ian Cameron, let alone the clumsy and pudgy Wilbur Weston, can't bowl like the youngster! However, I've lost all respect for Zak, now that I realize he must have had a special bowling ball that knocks pins down without actually hitting them. It looks like some pins fell “prematurely.”