Mary Worth 1,143

"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor degrading public humiliation stays these ridiculously costumed couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 1,133

If the Blazes team color is blue, how will Gina recognize Bobby if he isn't in a red shirt? Red like a blaze of fire.

The very cool New York Blazes gear reminds me of Frank's very cool hats on "30 Rock."



Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 871

It's a good thing Jill Black is there to keep Adrian from making a huge mistake and looking like a giant albino Tiki pole on her wedding day.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 659

Catching up is something you do with a friend you haven't see in a while. Not the illegitimate son you've never met. Also, you're not supposed to connect with him on many levels, or use that phrase in a sentence. Any sentence. Ever. It's just weird.

But I'm glad it was nice. I thought it was nice too. It was a great conversation, and I'm happy that you decided to buy some fish on the way home.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 518

This story just went from "Who cares? This story stinks." to "Who cares? This story smells awesome!"

Not since Ted Confey have we seen a man depicted so despicably. And, what, that was an entire one story ago. Of course, it's also been one whole story since we've seen a woman depicted so brainlessly as Delilah (Adrian). Stories about brainless females who hook up with creepy males never get stale.

But what makes this story especially fresh is everyone's 1972 fashion sense! I'm smelling Worthy Award nominations everywhere I sniff.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 253

Could it be that Mary Worth has become so accustomed to being taken to dinner by elderly gentlemen, that she has forgotten how to cook? She seems quite confused in her own kitchen. However, I'm sure once she gets back in the swing of things, she won't be able to stop. The sun will rise to find Mary Worth smudged with flour and cocktail sauce, asleep beneath her kitchen table, surrounded by mounds of seafood scampi, pies, frosted cupcakes and noodle casseroles.

[Edited to add this link to a recipe for "seafood scampi")

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 250

I love this plot! It never gets old.

• Mary Worth puts on a miniskirt and awaits Ron Amalfi's arrival.
• Jeff Corey calls, but Mary screens his call, mocking his pathetic voice mail message.
• Ron Amalfi breaks their date but promises to call again tomorrow with details about their next romantic dinner together.
• Mary eats a can of tuna, alone. Repeat forever.
  

This could go on for months. It already has. It is totally awesome.

It reminds me of the Usual Suspects or Pulp Fiction or the Sixth Sense - It's so obvious you just don't see it coming! Now we can add Mary Worth to the list of greatest stories ever told.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 238

Wow. We always knew she was a selfish, acrimonious old dame, but this is just awesome! This is what happens when Mary Worth stops taking her meds. Her true colors come shining through, and she's beautiful, like a rainbow. In honor of today's strip, I've added "True Colors" to the Charterstone Jukebox on the right.

I wonder if Ron Amalfi knows anything about her plans? I don't even want to think about what plans she might have. Heaven help the man.

(By the way, if you haven't read NellieOlsen'sConjoinedTwin's poem in yesterday's comments section, do not miss it. The poem is even better than her name! Positively medieval.)

Mary Worth 50

Ah, yes, New Country Road. Except for the beheading last year, and the occasional gathering of Satan worshipers, New Country Road is a wonderful place for a 60-something widow to take a bike ride. Alone. Happy Halloween.

Mary Worth 44

So Vera picks up the phone and immediately rips into him. Well done. To which Drew offers a prayer of gratitude that he didn't have to leave another voice mail.

But what scares me the most? That fish t-shirt. Something ominous here. Funny Background Guy was wearing the same t-shirt when Dawn first hit on Drew at the Pool Party last summer! I am so afraid.

Mary Worth 21

Well, Mary, that's one way he could do it, but wouldn't it be much easier for Drew just to show up at her place wearing that green suit and let Dawn do the breaking up herself.

Mary Worth 12

A lot of people have been asking me if I followed Mary Worth while I was on my long vacation. The answer is an enthusiastic, "Yes! Duh." If you need an update on what's going on, here's where we're at. If you already are up to speed, jump down to the next paragraph: Basically there's been a lot of horse back riding going on, and I haven't been particularly comfortable with that. Dawn's been lying to her father about riding smallish horses with Drew and claiming to be studying for exams worried that Dad will not approve of the 12-year age difference. However, now she has confided in reliable Mary Worth who has encouraged her to let her father know about her feelings for Dr. Drew Cory. So that's where we're at.

I'm not sure what to say about today's brilliant installment except that in panel two, Dawn's hands say, "I'm the Virgin Mary," but in panel one, her T-shirt says, "Two kittens boiling in a cauldron: I'm wicken."