Don't dismiss it too quickly. Muffin World is a magical place, where everyone is happy all the time, flower fairies roam freely, and everybody's head is shaped like a muffin. You'd be very happy there, Mary.
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Monday, January 29, 2018
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Last night, I dreamt I was Frank Zappa, and I was performing solo in my elementary school cafeteria. I was disappointed that only about 40 children showed up, sitting on the floor as I told sardonic jokes from the stage. A few of the children asked their teacher if they could leave, and I knew I was bombing. But I had one last trick up my sleeve. I grabbed my guitar and was going to play my greatest guitar solo of all time: The Muffin Man. But as I started to play, it was like I really didn't know how to play the guitar at all. It was like I wasn't really Frank Zappa. I was humiliated in front of the remaining children who stared at me bored. I left the stage, only to remember my glory days:
Saturday, January 27, 2018
Friday, January 26, 2018
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Soon, Mary's (Personally Developed) Magical Muffins™ will appear wrapped up in polypropylene in 7-Eleven's and Sunoco A-Plus marts all across California and the Pacific Northwest. The Sunshine State is about to get a whole lot sunnier.
Congratulations to Nance for yesterday's haiku title, which referenced the "pink path of high-stakes baking." Now we know that the entire Weston Muffin Love Fest was all just a set up for the real story about Mary's junkfood empire.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
Sunday, January 21, 2018
This is what I love about Wilbur Weston. He can spend an entire year, traveling the globe and spending time with the victims of natural disasters, writing intimately about their experiences, thoughts, and feelings. He can lose the woman he loves to a 22-year-old millionaire, get scammed out of $30,000 by a salsa dancing bombshell, and spend hours eating muffins with Mary Worth... and not learn a single thing.
But at least the ending is "beautiful."
Friday, January 19, 2018
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
Sunday, January 14, 2018
Friday, January 12, 2018
Thursday, January 11, 2018
Tuesday, January 9, 2018
"Muffins! Dad, I haven't had muffins since I broke up with my married boss!"
Judging by the look in Dawn's eyes, I'm starting to wonder if the muffins are Mary's mind-control drug of choice. Just the perfect "recipe" for solving everybody's problems. Heaven knows it isn't her advice that makes them happy.
Monday, January 8, 2018
Although Wilbur hasn't uttered a word of agreement with Mary, he walks away consoled, knowing a bag full of warm muffins will do more good for his emotional state than three hours of therapy with Mary Worth. "Take these muffins home, Wilbur. Dawn already knows how to bury her feelings in a good muffin."
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Friday, January 5, 2018
Thursday, January 4, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the show! Please stop mamboing and take your seats.
Before we get started, here is perhaps the most charming opening number we've ever had, featuring several of our Charterstone residents:
Keeping things on an upbeat note, each year we take a moment to award the Aldo Kelrast Worthy Award to a character who died during the year. It's our little way of saying, Thank you.
Unfortunately, this year the Worthiverse was very light on death. Several near misses, but not a whole lot to choose from. But then, Wilbur Weston's self respect took a complete kamikaze dive into the Bogota sea. This year's Aldo Kelrast award goes to Wilbur's self respect. Mr. Weston, please pass along our congratulations should you ever find it again. And could you please send us a photo of your legs?
Who wants to see some winners?? It's time to award the Worthy Award for the Best Performance by a Guest Character!
The nominees are:
Our next category is:
Gorgeous hunk? Have!
Is passenger! Know off-limits!
"In Which You Can Either Read This As A Metaphysical Treatise On Adulting Or The Alternative Lyrics To Whip It By Devo"
That...like. Change pace!
Wrong! Like! Vibe this!
Switch? I'm you!
Yeah! Here! You me!
Sorry, moved on...you.
Too late. Friends...
Why? Attractive couple, happy.
Don't know. Younger!
Sorry, moved on...you.
Too late. Friends...
Sorry, folks. That was pathetic. Let's get on with the show, and everyone, please, just try to enjoy yourself.
Our next category of nominees is:
Thank you, thank you, June Brigman, for all of your contributions to this strip. It just keeps getting better and better!
I want to thank Karen Moy and June Brigman for keeping it fun, and everyone who voted! Thousands of votes were cast.
I have enjoyed your comments throughout the years, and your donations have been especially appreciated! If you didn't buy a ticket to this year's Worthies, it isn't too late to make a contribution.