Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Mary Worth 2910

"My mom's the same way. Although I really never see her. She spends all her time with her 22-year-old billionaire boyfriend, riding shotgun in his Ferrari. But other than that, she's just like your mom. Oh, and my mom is alive."

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Mary Worth 2909

"What was your mom like, Brandy? Did she ever date one of your classmates? Did she catch you selling drugs or abusing opioids? Did she let you live with her after you got out of prison? We have so much in common."

Monday, June 18, 2018

Mary Worth 2908

Tommy's gotten a lot more innocent looking since he left the clink, but he still struggles with basic communication in the outside world. "What's new with you," is something you ask your cell mate when you see him at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, but it's not something you ask someone you just met, Tommy. But hang in there, you'll figure it out.

Brandy's response, reminds me of one of my favorite Mary Tyler More scenes, which I've shared here before I think:

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Mary Worth 2906

"No problem! Oh, and by the way, since my drug conviction and subsequent Vicodin incident, I'm only allowed to pretend to drive. Fasten your seatbelt, Vroom vroom!"

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Mary Worth 2905

I love Brandy's Santa Royale accent! "Our customers are a nice crowd." Spoken like a true Santa Royalean.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Mary Worth 2904

For two days, I've struggled to find the words to express my absolute glee that we're going to get another Beedie story. Because if there have ever been characters I've cared about, it's Iris Beedie and her mop-haired twin son, Tommy. And I'm really hopeful that we get another progressively topical subject like the challenges of interracial relationships (like in that recent film, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner). But I'd settle for Tommy harassing a co-worker because Karen Moy handles #MeToo so well, and it would be funnier.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Mary Worth 2903

I'm so glad Mountview Hospital included the walking trail on the grounds as part of their recent gazillion dollar expansion. Now Mary can take her victory lap without having to drive back to Charterstone and finding Toby. And what a victory lap this is! "Wilbur reached out to me when I found him at the top of the cliff and I prescribed a session of therapy and karaoke. He's going to be just fine now."

Thursday, June 7, 2018

Mary Worth 2902

... emersion in nature, exercise, diet, reading good books, art history, yoga, archery, photography, parkour, Latin, Thai cuisine, root vegetable gardening, cartography... Of course, none of these therapies are effective without the endorsement of the AMA and Mary Worth.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Mary Worth 2901

Jeff's statement is the most awkward phrase ever to emerge from the friendzone. Yikes. In other words, "Why didn't you invite me? Not as a date of course, but just to join all of you as a friend."

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Mary Worth 2900

Since when have friends helped you over the years, Mary? Do you mean, "Friends haven't helped me for years?" I think the last time someone helped you was when Kathy's mom prayed for you and you felt wanted. Ever since then, you've been fighting to get that feeling back.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Mary Worth 2899

This has all been so real, I feel as if I were actually there, enjoying my friend's set at the showcase Mary prepared just for us. It has been a truly magical night. The beautiful Japanese artform Karaoke reminds me that life is indeed good.

Friday, June 1, 2018

Mary Worth 2898

It's time to play Be Like Wilbur: Here are the lyrics, and the Karaoke music is linked below. Hit play and sing along without any practice and see how you do. No fair listening to this song on the jukebox to refresh your memory first. Of course, you're in the privacy of your home. Maybe among coworkers at the office. But if you really are brave, videotape your first attempt and share the file with me.

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down a road and back again
Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant
I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say

Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend

If it's a car you lack
I'd surely buy you a Cadillac
Whatever you need any time of the day or night

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear even though it's hard to hear
I will stand here close and say

Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

Let me tell you about a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)

And when we die and float away
Into the night the Milky Way
You'll hear me call as we ascend
I'll say your name then once again

Thank you for being a

Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I want to thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
People, let me tell you about a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you)
Thank you for being a friend
Whoa, tell you about a friend (thank you right now, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna tell you right now, and tell you again)
Thank you for being a friend (I wanna thank you, thank you, for being a friend)
Thank you for being a friend

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Mary Worth 2897

Truer words were never spoken, Ian. Wilbur has nothing to lose. He's already lost his dignity and his self-respect. Singing bad karaoke in front of you and 17 drunken strangers couldn't possibly hurt. Even if several of them record his performance and post the video on their Twitter feed.

Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Mary Worth 2896

"Because no one has ever felt judged while singing karaoke, and everyone feels better about their self when they do. But if you're feeling self-conscious, just take off your clothes and imagine you're in the shower at home."

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Mary Worth 2895

Maybe she's invited Vince Gill and Willie Nelson to do a live concert in Wilbur's shower since his radio stopped working.

Monday, May 28, 2018

Mary Worth 2894

Is there any question that Mary's surprise will be a new shower radio? Which is a creepily inappropriate gift in my opinion.

Friday, May 25, 2018

Mary Worth 2893

"My fog is clearing because my columns are back in the local paper because the readers demanded it. So now I'm no longer depressed. I'm on top of the world because of other people's behavior. So as long as people keep doing what I want, there shouldn't be any problem."

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Mary Worth 2892

I think I'll enjoy the upcoming dinner scene more if Wilbur isn't there. But even if he is, Ian won't let him get a whine in edgewise.

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Mary Worth 2891

Nothing like an hour with Mary to make you not want to kill yourself.

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Mary Worth 2890

I'm just wondering where these words are that Wilbur is reading. Maybe it is just subtext that Wilbur is able to comprehend by looking at this picture. The subtext continues: "... I haven't been this happy in a long time. Not since before Mom left you. Now I understand."

Monday, May 21, 2018

Mary Worth 2889

Better than ever except Iris is still dating Zak, Dawn is still in Italy, and the shower radio batteries are still dead. But other than that, better than ever! If you enjoyed Wilbur the last six months, you're going to really love him now! He's not even suicidal anymore.

Saturday, May 19, 2018

Friday, May 18, 2018

Mary Worth 2888

I'm guessing it is very unusual for a paper to drop a syndicated feature and then pick it up again. Unless there is a huge public outcry. I wonder if Karen Moy is writing from personal experience when all the papers that have dropped this strip started to pick it up again.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Mary Worth 2887

The fact that the first word in this morning's strip is "Wilbur," is all the bad news I can handle.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Mary Worth 2886

Forty-five minutes later, his chest once again Bogotá-Beach smooth, Wilbur is a new man without a care or suicidal tendency in the world. Also, his alcoholism is cured.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Mary Worth 2885

AWESOME! Wilbur is headed to Medical Group, where he no doubt will meet Dr. Fletcher who had an almost-affair with his daughter. Which is awkward. But if we're really lucky, he'll be charmed by Medical Assistant Jared, and try to set him up with Dawn. So we've come full circle.

Monday, May 14, 2018

Mary Worth 2884

Based on their word balloons, it looks like Mary is now sitting on the passenger side of the car. Which explains why the car has swerved into oncoming traffic.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Mary Worth 2883

..."Come on, let's go to Radio Shack and get you some batteries for your shower radio."

Friday, May 11, 2018

Mary Worth 2882

I for one cannot wait for the "Sitting in Mary's Car" scene! Maybe Wilbur will talk about his problems! I hope he mentions that his shower radio doesn't work.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Mary Worth 2881

Without Wilbur even noticing, Mary has talked him back from the edge of the cliff. In fact, I hadn't even noticed either. She's that good at what she does.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Monday, May 7, 2018

Mary Worth 2879

I'm traveling on business this week. I'm in Salt Lake City. We had a backyard picnic tonight and Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband played an awesome concert just for our group. They were rowdy and hilarious (check them out on Spotify), but when they played this song, I couldn't help but think of Wilbur:

Friday, May 4, 2018

Mary Worth 2878

Today's strip brings back a vivid childhood memory.

When I was eight or nine, my parents took me and my two younger brothers, and two of our cousins on a camping trip. They pulled a small silver camp trailer with our brown, faux-wood-paneled station wagon. On the way home, they decided to take us to the beach along the California coast. Dad set up the trailer atop a cliff overlooking the ocean, and June Brigman has captured the setting perfectly. It was a gray, chilly day, and the beach below the cliffs was utterly deserted.

Dad was with us boys down on the shore and asked me to go up to the trailer for something, where Mom was caring for the baby. I climbed the cliff trail, and as I approached the trailer, I could see mom engaged in conversation with a man who had arrived at the beach after us. The man walked away as I approached, and mom took me into the trailer and very calmy handed me a note she had written. "Wes," she said, "Please take this note to your dad."

I returned to the beach and handed Dad the note. Dad read the note, and his eyes got huge with alarm. His expression was just like Mary's in panel 2. "Okay everybody! We're leaving! Come on! Right now!"

We didn't know what was going on, and we were disappointed to leave, even if the weather was bad. Dad rushed us up the cliff, tossing all of our gear quickly into the trailer. As Dad hit the accelerator, the car bumped over the dirt parking lot, and my cousin Rod looked out the window and screamed, "That man is naked!" There at the top of the cliff was a middle-aged man, buck naked, watching us drive away. All of us boys laughed hysterically at that crazy man without any clothes. My parents explained what a nude beach was, and we thought it was the stupidest thing we'd ever heard.

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Mary Worth 2876

Why would Mary ask Mr. Allora if he's seen Wilbur lately? Is Mr. Allora as nosey as she is? Apparently, he is. He even noticed that Wilbur looked like his normal self: Bad.

Was Wilbur headed up to the mountains to confront Iris and Zak? Will he be traveling via Kelrast Kurve?

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Mary Worth 2875

I know we all joked about Mary bringing muffins to Wilbur. We were joking. It was a joke. Not a suggestion.

Monday, April 30, 2018

Mary Worth 2874

Congratulations to Karen Moy for creating a truthful character. Wilbur is right. No one does care about him. I know I don't. I'm only here because, after 2,874 blog posts, I feel an obligation to my fans.

Friday, April 27, 2018

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Mary Worth 2872

Panel 1 explains that Wilbur is watching Modern Family, so presumably, it is Sofia Vergara who reminds Wilbur of Fabiana. I'm just guessing. I see on Wikipedia that she was born in Colombia, just like Fabiana. I've never watched Modern Family, so let me see if I can find a clip on YouTube.

Wow! I am definitely going to start watching this show. She is hilarious! In fact, the only difference between Sofia Veraga's character and Fabiana is that one is better written.

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Mary Worth 2871

One thing Weston's have in common: Oddly strong arms.

Harlan is just the coolest professor ever, isn't he? He really is a star at the discotheque. All the co-eds want to dance with him.

Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Mary Worth 2870

I thought the whole point of this endless country-music-in-the-shower sequence was to punctuate Wilbur's depression with music that emphasizes what a heartbroken loser he is. I mean, really, why else would we be subjected to this? So why would Wilbur sing this Johnny Cash song? "They call me bad news, because I'm bad news, breaking little girls' hearts who hate to see me go..." and so on and so forth. Maybe this marks the turning point for Wilbur. Maybe he'll turn into the next Zak, with unbounded confidence, dating a woman at least 20 years older than he is.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Mary Worth 2869

It's probably best that Wilbur stops listening to Country Western music. It hasn't been helping. He really needs to change his luck, and the Charterstone Jukebox is just the trick! Just open up Spotify on your cell phone. That'll lift your spirits. I had a bad week, too. But the Charterstone Jukebox made everything alright.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Mary Worth 2868

"If I'm not seen locally, Iris and Zak won't be about to read my work as they lounge around on Sunday mornings together."

On a personal note, thanks for all the sympathy yesterday, dear readers. After listing my woes, I was driving to Home Depot and got rear-ended. It has been a hilarious week. Fortunately, each thing that's happened really could have been much, much worse. So far, we're counting ourselves very lucky, and keeping our sense of humor. Mary Worth and your comments help with that.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Mary Worth 2867

So it turns out that Wilbur is a Nationally Syndicated Columnist, producing two columns, presumably weekly. Who knew? And now, given that Jesus said no prophet is accepted in his own country, he's about to develop an even bigger martyr complex than he already had.

I haven't posted much this week. This week our sewer backed up and soaked into several rooms, our vacuum went out, the AC went out, and the dryer stopped working. So I've been a little busy. Thank heaven for amazingly helpful neighbors.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Mary Worth 2866

So we've entered a never-ending loop of trying to win Iris back, suffering abject humiliation, showering, repeat. A story inspired by the instructions on Wilbur's Head and Shoulders shampoo bottle, "Lather, rinse, repeat," perhaps one of the greatest literary accomplishments of Procter and Gamble.

But then, Wilbur sees his Post-it, reminding himself to buy another emerald ring, and we know everything will work out eventually.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Mary Worth 2865

"Do you understand what we are saying to you? We are buying camping supplies. Because we are going camping. In a tent. Together. Do you understand, Wilbur? Please tell me if you understand. I want to hear you say it."

Friday, April 13, 2018

Mary Worth 2864

I'm having a little trouble comprehending a worse possible thing for Iris to say to Wilbur. And it is completely awesome. As we said in the eighth grade: "BURN!"

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Mary Worth 2862

I have no idea why Dick's Sporting Goods wasn't willing to pay the fee for appearing in Mary Worth. Clearly, it was Karen Moy's intent to make a little bank by having Wilbur buy shoes there. I guess the promotional agreement didn't work out at the last minute, but by then it was too late to make Wilbur's shoe purchase AT ALL RELEVANT TO THE PLOT!!