I thought the whole point of this endless country-music-in-the-shower sequence was to punctuate Wilbur's depression with music that emphasizes what a heartbroken loser he is. I mean, really, why else would we be subjected to this? So why would Wilbur sing this Johnny Cash song? "They call me bad news, because I'm bad news, breaking little girls' hearts who hate to see me go..." and so on and so forth. Maybe this marks the turning point for Wilbur. Maybe he'll turn into the next Zak, with unbounded confidence, dating a woman at least 20 years older than he is.
Monday, April 23, 2018
It's probably best that Wilbur stops listening to Country Western music. It hasn't been helping. He really needs to change his luck, and the Charterstone Jukebox is just the trick! Just open up Spotify on your cell phone. That'll lift your spirits. I had a bad week, too. But the Charterstone Jukebox made everything alright.
Friday, April 20, 2018
"If I'm not seen locally, Iris and Zak won't be about to read my work as they lounge around on Sunday mornings together."
On a personal note, thanks for all the sympathy yesterday, dear readers. After listing my woes, I was driving to Home Depot and got rear-ended. It has been a hilarious week. Fortunately, each thing that's happened really could have been much, much worse. So far, we're counting ourselves very lucky, and keeping our sense of humor. Mary Worth and your comments help with that.
Thursday, April 19, 2018
So it turns out that Wilbur is a Nationally Syndicated Columnist, producing two columns, presumably weekly. Who knew? And now, given that Jesus said no prophet is accepted in his own country, he's about to develop an even bigger martyr complex than he already had.
I haven't posted much this week. This week our sewer backed up and soaked into several rooms, our vacuum went out, the AC went out, and the dryer stopped working. So I've been a little busy. Thank heaven for amazingly helpful neighbors.
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
So we've entered a never-ending loop of trying to win Iris back, suffering abject humiliation, showering, repeat. A story inspired by the instructions on Wilbur's Head and Shoulders shampoo bottle, "Lather, rinse, repeat," perhaps one of the greatest literary accomplishments of Procter and Gamble.
But then, Wilbur sees his Post-it, reminding himself to buy another emerald ring, and we know everything will work out eventually.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
Friday, April 13, 2018
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
I have no idea why Dick's Sporting Goods wasn't willing to pay the fee for appearing in Mary Worth. Clearly, it was Karen Moy's intent to make a little bank by having Wilbur buy shoes there. I guess the promotional agreement didn't work out at the last minute, but by then it was too late to make Wilbur's shoe purchase AT ALL RELEVANT TO THE PLOT!!
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Monday, April 9, 2018
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Friday, April 6, 2018
Thursday, April 5, 2018
It was Harlan Howard who is attributed as being the first to describe country music this way. He should know; he was one of the most prolific and influential country songwriters, and his passing in 2002 left a big hole in the heart of Nashville. So, yeah, I have gone through many country music phases. I have no problem with country music. What I have a problem with is country music radio. It's three songs and a pigsty full of commercials. Over and over and over again... whenever I get in a country music mood, it lasts about three days until I can't take it anymore. So hopefully, the country music station in Santa Royale plays more music from a deeper playlist.
But in honor of Harlan Howard, I've added one of his songs to the Jukebox, "Heartache by the Numbers." It ought to cheer Wilbur up immensely.
Wednesday, April 4, 2018
Inspired by the Head and Shoulders commercial, Wilbur finds his shower radio. It's been a long time since he's showered. Surely this will help his mood... and OURS! Because nothing will lift our spirits like watching Wilbur shower. Naked.
I'm really hoping he tunes into the Chartersone Jukebox playlist on Spotify. Do you follow the Jukebox? The Condo Board has selected a tastefully appropriate list of songs, all inspired by the adventures of Mary Worth. If you haven't had a listen recently, Charley Smith has left some metal slugs and wooden nickels so you don't have to drop any coins into the jukebox.
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Monday, April 2, 2018
Really, Wilbur? Because Jeff doesn't know how anxious and abandoned you feel, and I know he'd love to hear it. Plus, we'd all love to hear you describe your feelings again. And to think we could have been in Italy with Harlan and Dawn! We dodged a bullet.
Sunday, April 1, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
Thursday, March 29, 2018
You know that unsettled and anxious feeling you have when you stand on top of a cliff without a guardrail or look down the center of a tall flight of stairs? A friend once explained to me that it wasn't because you were afraid of falling... it was because you were afraid you might jump! There's a part of your subconscious brain that wants you to back away so that you don't try anything stupid. And Wilbur is especially stupid so he must be especially unsettled and anxious.
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Monday, March 26, 2018
Can any of us remember a single instance when Mary changed her perspective? Maybe she means, "Whenever I start to doubt myself or my opinions, I come here and change my perspective. I always come away from here more sure of myself than ever."
Saturday, March 24, 2018
What a great idea, Mary. Overlooking the lights of Santa Royale, staring into the abyss, surrounded by dozens of couples holding hands and kissing, with only you for company, Wilbur is sure to feel tons better.
Friday, March 23, 2018
Thursday, March 22, 2018
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
Wow! Karen Moy has really set herself up with a new challenge! Instead of the nearly impossible task of telling a story two panels a day, she's doubled down and is telling two stories with just one panel each day! The next three months are going to be AMAZING!
And June Brigman's forced perspective in panel 2 harkens back to Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper." And we all know how Harlan and Dawn feel about Leonardo Da Vinci.
Monday, March 19, 2018
I have to admit, I groaned out loud when I saw this morning's first panel thinking this story might actually be about Wilbur's sense of abandonment, and not an elaborate tour or June Brigman's Beautiful Italy. Because making this a story about Wilbur would be about the worst thing that could ever possibly happen in the Worthiverse.
Thank you June Brigman for not even attempting to recreate Botticelli's Birth of Venus in ink, but only rendering the most minimal representation. Unlike this image from the Phantom last week.
Perhaps June thought she would have made this blog un-family friendly. But here at MW&M, we fear no art:
Friday, March 16, 2018
It's clear that Dawn is excited to return to Beautiful Italy. And why shouldn't she be? It's been almost six years since she was there last (how old was she then)? True, the entire trip was terrible, and she was almost killed when her cruise ship sank, but this time will be different for sure. And I am even more excited for this trip than Dawn because in Beautiful Italy, this happens.
Thursday, March 15, 2018
The awkward breakfast table hug is always a sweet moment. But it appears that Wilbur may have been bitten by a werewolf during his travels and has spent the night roaming Santa Royale Meadows Park feasting on the flesh of kite flyers. Judging by his right arm, his transformation back to human being is not quite complete.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
I know money exists in the Worthiverse. Olive asked Mary Worth for some money to give to a homeless man because her heart was generous and her tummy brain was a little mooch. Ted Confey swindled Adrian out of $50,000. And of course, Wilbur used his credit card to buy a $30,000 emerald ring for Fabiana. And yet, semesters abroad seem to be free.
Monday, March 12, 2018
"My relationship? Dad, I just said, I'm part of his group! There's a whole group of us. I'm the student he does yoga with. Kathy's the student he does parkour with, and Venessa's the student he gardens root vegetables with! Don't you know what a group is?"
Thursday, March 8, 2018
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Mary is burying her secret deep inside. Okay, I get maybe not telling Jeff since Ted "The Molester" Miller is Jeff's BFF. But Toby is Mary's BFF, and she's not even telling Toby. This is getting very dark.
Also, how fitting is it that Mary goes to Saint Anne's? Saint Anne was Jesus's grandmother according to apocryphal legend and Wikipedia.