Friday, December 7, 2018

Mary Worth 3023

As Myster Wynter should have taught you, Mary, no pet lives forever. Libby won't find her forever home until you send her over the Rainbow Bridge.

25 comments:

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

As I read the exchange between Estelle and Mary, I thought to myself "No sane humans talk like this". So in other words, the cure for losing a spouse is getting a cat. Mary may seem altruistic, but the only reason, she's dumping Libby on Estelle is to get Dr. Jeff back, because he's good for paying for a semi-annual meal at the Bum Boat.

Like I keep saying, KM needs to get out and see how the world really works, because it doesn't work this way, that's for sure.

KitKat said...

First, from yesterday's comments, @Tim, my sincere condolences to you. I hope our little Worthiverse community supports you through such a difficult time.

Today: Mary: "Yes, you can come by right now to see Libby! And if you take her, I'll give you 15 percent off on reimbursing me for all the food, litter, bed, and other stuff I bought!"

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"And Can Your Cleaning Company Then Clean And Sanitize My Home?".

Love! Fond memories. Why?
Libby forever home. Interested?
Sure! Now?

Anonymous said...


"Well, I can't make any promises, Mary. I'll have to see how my new beau feels about this. Don't tell a soul, but I've met a very nice young man who I've been secretly seeing. He owns some kind of video game company. But he doesn't want anyone to know about us yet. We're going camping this weekend."

-- Scottie McW.

fauxprof said...

First, @Tim, you have my most sincere sympathy and empathy. I know our warm little community is there for you, as it was for me.

As for Mary Worth, that’s not how pet fostering works in the real world. You don’t just pack up the foster kitty’s toothbrush and jammies and hand her off to some random stranger. The animal shelter still has primary custody and has a say in the matter. But neither Mary nor KM exists in the real world.

Tim said...

2kitkat thank you

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

My condolences too, Tim. The holidays are the hardest after losing a loved one. (I lost my mother a month before Christmas and right after my 38th birthday. This time hasn't been good for me for 24 years.) Anyway, I hope that our little family helps you and makes you laugh, like it does me and helps you get through the day just reading our comments on the insanity that is Mary Worth and KM.

@Fauxprof, I was going to say the same thing. I have a friend that fosters and the shelter has stringent guidelines. My friend can't knock on someone's door and say "do you want a cat?" The person who wants the cat must come to the shelter and fill out paperwork and give three references, including from the landlord to make certain they allow pets. But as usual, KM never checks on how things are done in the real world. I'd love to give her my phone number so I can explain to her how real people act.

TimP said...

Just to add to what's already been pointed out, when we used to foster we typically never had anything to do with the adoption process beyond my wife making adorable signs with cute pictures of the kittens and enticing writeups of their adorable play.

The only exception was our first foster, Izzy the three legged Egyptian Mau who sneezed blood. She was adopted by the foster volunteer coordinator so in that one case we got to see pictures of that crazy cat in her new home.

r u ok? said...

Since this cat dumping scheme is going so well . . . "Say, do you like men who were once grumpy and obsessed over their chihuahua because they didn't marry the woman they loved and instead married someone else, but then their wife died, and then their dog died, and then they were tricked into getting a new dog and now they aren't grumpy any more?"

After Mary slices tires in the middle of the night . . .
Response Yes: "Say, do you have any car troubles?"
Response No: "Say, do you have any car troubles?"

LouiseF said...

Whew! The breakneck speed at which this plot is moving should result in Mary's apartment being cat-free and cleaned of any feline influence in time for Christmas! Otherwise, Dr. Jeff will be down at Hospital, eating a frozen turkey dinner out of the microwave and sneezing away...

lmjb1964 said...

Estelle: "Thanks, Mary! I was really down about the whole recently losing my husband thing, but now that I'm getting a cat, I feel great! Of course, I still have fond memories of old what's-his-name."

Next week, Claudia at the animal shelter calls Mary. "Hi, Mary, we're just checking in to see how Libby's doing."

"Oh, she's great! I ran into a woman in my apartment building last week, and now Libby is living with her."

Silence, then Claudia says, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"Oh, yes, my neighbor was all down due to her husband dying or whatever, and taking Libby cheered her right up!"

Claudia: "Well, there's actually a whole process that we need to..."

Mary: "Of course. Well, good luck with that. I see one of my neighbors is about to make an unwise choice about something, so I really must run!" Click.

Claudia: ?@#$$&!!

Chester the Dog said...

Chester here: Oh Mary, what is in your brain, Muffins? Are you so dense, oh wait, she is, never mind.

KitKat said...

Saturday
"Mary, did Libby lose her eye in an accident?"

"No. She woke me up at 3 a.m. wanting food one time too many, and my broomstick was handy...."

Has a KM plot ever wrapped this quickly? Maybe even she was bored. Now Mary can take a double victory lap: she brought companionship to a lonely widow, and she won't have to buy Jeff a Christmas gift because ditching Libby is more than enough in her book. (Okay, maybe she'll give him a few muffins from the bottomless freezer too.)

Anonymous said...


"By the way, Estelle, I never asked before. How did Jimmy die?"

"It was the strangest thing, Mary. One minute he was happily scarfing down snacks at one of our pool parties, and within a few hours he was dead. The doctors couldn't figure it out."

-- S. McW.

Anonymous said...

Nice job, KitKat and S. McW. Funny stuff!

BTW, KitKat, your comment the other day about the Bumpus hounds made me wonder if they also had a cat named Libby. Maybe Ralphie and his Red Ryder BB gun had something to do with that missing eye.

Michael Beaumier said...

I’m thrilled, thrilled, thrilled to see Estelle perform the patented Mary Worth Meaningless Hand Gesture™ — something no real person would, or could perform in actual life. Though oh, how I miss the days of random hands appearing in the corners of each frame, alongside enormous heads.

Yahoonski said...

Michael Beaumier: Don't forget random hands with 6 fingers!

KitKat: You beat me to it, but I was thinking maybe Mary lashed out with her kelk knife when Libby jumped onto the counter.

As for Mary's "Thank you" in the last panel, I say, no, Karen Moy: thank YOU for tying up all these loose ends so neatly and ending this heartworming (sic) tale in time for Christmas.

LouiseF said...

KM's ending this story so quickly has me a bit apprehensive about what's coming in the next few weeks... Perhaps Mary will start fostering all the cats and dogs lost during the California wildfires..

MissScarlet said...

I don't want to give Moy any ideas, but I did run across this this morning. Hope you all like it.

https://apnews.com/69a9f61f08994adba9fca4e1938d37e1

KitKat said...

SUNDAY

Mary's "I may take you up on that" translates to "When hell freezes over, Estelle. I plan to never visit you or Libby again!" And how much can Mary miss Libby, anyway, after having her for about three days. Maybe Mary will miss Libby's power to drive Jeff out of her apartment.

fauxprof said...

OK, that’s wrapped up. Christmas-themed pool party tomorrow? Or maybe Dawn will return from her “semester” abroad.

Actually, there was a positive message buried in all KM’s bad writing and clunky plotting: if you want a pet, it’s better to adopt from a shelter than to go to a breeder or (shudder) a puppy mill. Also, older pets and those with apparent disabilities are a very good bet. Libby’s one eye is one example, but there are loads of happy, healthy, three-legged dogs out there looking for a forever home. Maybe someone reading Mary Worth was inspired to provide such a home.

LouiseF said...

Miss Scarlet, I suspect a Disney remake of "The Incredible Journey: California Wildfire Edition"... Having said that, I am still struck by the loyal pack sensibilities of dogs... Think we humans could definitely learn a bit about supporting one another from them.

Anonymous said...


I'm a big Dickens fan, but come on, man.

-- S. McW.

KitKat said...

MONDAY

First, thanks to @fauxprof's for pointing out that even KM's ham-handed plot illustrated that disabled animals can make wonderful pets. Older animals do as well. I think we all have reservations about the standards of Generic Animal Shelter of Santa Royale, but reputable shelters are the best place to find a pet. Don't shop, adopt!

On to today...either Jeff's memory is really going or he refuses to utter Libby's name because he's still ticked off at Mary. And, depending on whether or how well Mary cleaned, there might still be enough Libby dander to provoke a sneeze attack, right on the Roast Beast.

fauxprof said...

Jeff: Dinner? Well, OK, if you think you’ve got time to have your apartment thoroughly steam-cleaned and pass an inspection by an EPA Hazmat team.

(I thought it would all be over this morning, but I completely forgot the obligatory victory lap.)