Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Mary Worth 3005

"That's why I'm taking you back to your old owner - because when you shut out the bad you shut out the good. Mary taught me that. If you stop watching bad movies, you can't watch good movies. If you break up with a bad boyfriend, you can't have a good boyfriend, and if you stop reading Mary Worth, you can't read Doonesbury, or Calvin and Hobbes."

45 comments:

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I see he got Greta "Good Dog Food", as opposed to "Bad Dog Food.". "Greta, if you shut out the bag of Bad Dog Food, you shut out the bag of Good Dog Food as well".

I'm sure Greta is rethinking her choices as she wears the bow tie of shame.

RobC said...

As Saul succumbs to Worthy Think (Double Plus Good!) he absent mindedly drops a chicken bone into the food....

Yesterday, I think Greta was doing her business behind the end table. That's where my teenager grunted in his diaper when he was two...

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"And A Spoonful Of Chicken Helps The Kibble Go Down".

Everything...bad.
Good!

fauxprof said...

He’s going to give her a chicken drumstick? Greta, we hardly knew ye. I’m surprised Bella lasted as long as she did.

KitKat said...

@Nance, that’s concise!

Today’s strip made me scratch my head over a number of things. Is Saul going to give that drumstick to Greta, which is a bad idea, as @fauxprof pointed out. Or is Saul himself eating with his left hand while filling Greta’s bowl with dog food? Why does the chicken container look rectangular but its lid looks round? Does Pampered Pet produce personalized food bowls while you wait? Did Saul also buy his bow tie at Pampered Pet, or did he find one for Greta that matched one he had at home? So many questions....

Anonymous said...


Great comments above, my friends. Well done.

Apparently Pampered Pets has a food dish embossed with every conceivable name for a pet. They must have thousands of them because Saul was evidently able to grab a GRETA right off the shelf. I wonder how many GRETAs they have left.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...


Ha ha, KitKat beat me to it.

-- S. McW.

Anonymous said...

I love June's homage to Uncle Joe; drawing a round lid for a rectangular container. The only thing better would have been if she'd drawn two drumsticks still on the chicken while he's peeling skin off the third.

Yahoonski said...

Chicken? What chicken? That thing's hardly bigger than Saul's schnoz. It's either a squab or a very chubby sparrow.

Shmoopie said...

Looking at panel 1, I am convinced that we have reached peak nose. It's now doubtlessly bigger than Saul's considerable chin. The ever-present bow tie attempts to lead the eye away from these disturbing facial protuberances. Alas, it's not working for me!

LouiseF said...

Not that artfully rendered, but I'm pretty sure Saul is splitting up a rotisserie chicken he bought ($6.99 each in my supermarket) for Greta. I have a bunch of these seemingly square containers with roundish lids, because every Monday is $4.99 chicken day at my store, and I can't bear to dispose of that much plastic. People actually wait in line for these chickens to come out of the oven. They are NOT really worth waiting for except that nobody wants to cook dinner on a Monday, so rotisserie chicken is popular beyond anything having to do with how good it tastes.. Hope Saul got a good deal on his and froze a bunch of them, that indulgent, lovesick dog owner... The lids make great bowls to set house plants in, by the way.

meg said...

Saul to Greta:

Listen to me, girl, if you don’t stop with the sulking and the hiding, I’m going to have to call Mary Worth to come over here. Is that what you want?

timshan said...

Wait! Stop, Stop, STOP!!!!!

What about Mary's tires. The whole reason for the trip! Did they go and not clue us in on that story? I wanted to see the "minor character" who was going to try to rip off Mary by selling her an overpriced set of Flarestones. Did Saul show her the FB Richgoods that were just fine? What about balancing? Wheel alignment? How could Mary possibly know what to do?

Or did they skip the trip all together? Is Mary now in danger? Will she venture out alone?

Or wait . . .

Was this all just some kind of a ruse? #^% you Moy!!!!!!!!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Thursday: What is Myster Wynter serving Greta, Witches Brew. I have never served my pet's anything that's steaming. It would burn their little tongues. Have JB and KM ever owned a pet? (Virtual pets don't count.)

Chester the Dog said...

What on earth is for dinner? Chicken soup?

RobC said...

Chester...it's gruel.
Is it worth the waiting for?
If we live for eighty four (in dog years)
All we ever get is gruuuu-EL!
Every day we say our prayer --
Will Saul change the bill of fare?
Still we get the same old gruuuu-EL!

Food, glorious food! Hot snaussage and mustard!
While we're in the mood, Mary's salmon and muffins!

fauxprof said...

What a big bowl for such a little dog. And Regina is right, you don’t serve something steaming hot to a pet. Everybody involved in this story is s bleepin’ idiot.

(@RobC, thanks for the memory! My very first amateur theatre experience, over fifty years ago, was a marvelous production of “Oliver!”)

Carlye said...

When I was a kid we had a dachshund who got into the trash and swallowed a chicken bone. It punctured her intestine and she died very painfully. I was shocked to see the chicken yesterday.

meg said...

As we all know, the Mary Worth strip is always drawn with the most exquisitely correct and accurate images. Therefore, I will refer you to the cartoonists’ holy book, The Lexicon of Comicana, published by Mort Walker in 1980.

The lines emanating from Greta’s bowl comprise a Waftarom, connoting a good smell. An indotherm, a single wavy line, is used to suggest heat.

Here’s a link:
https://www.fastcompany.com/1673017/quimps-plewds-and-grawlixes-the-secret-language-of-comic-strips

You’re welcome.

The Stern Word Doyen

LouiseF said...

meg, thanks for translating!

RobC said...

meg,

Berke Breathed did the same in a Bloom County strip. There are moovles, and zipples (linear moovles) and suprizles.

link: https://whatismanga.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/breathed_bloom_92.jpg

Anonymous said...


Saul holds a food dish like Wilbur holds a cell phone -- awkwardly.

-- S. McW.

KitKat said...

@meg, what would we do without you? Thank you! Now, is there a reverse Waftarom for food prepared by Mary?

Saul has been spending WAY too much time alone.

meg said...

KitKat: that would be emanata le Pew. It looks very much like the waftaroma, but it is always rendered in color, generally a shade of grayish olive or chartreuse.

Anonymous said...


FRIDAY

So, Saul lets his dogs eat off of other people's tables but not his own.

-- S. McW.

RobC said...

S McW, Ha!

Looks like Saul is having a drumstick and a side of kibble.

LouiseF said...

I want to see Saul take Greta out for her first poop. Hope he has bags to scoop it up!

Yahoonski said...

LouiseF: And you know where I hope he leaves the bag!

KitKat said...

Saul gave Greta her dinner, but she’s on her own to find water. Good luck with that, poochie.

meg said...

Yahoonski: But will he set it on fire?

TimP said...

"Your food is ready anytime."

Within weeks Greta dies of complications attributable to canine obesity. Mary convinces Saul that she needs his expertise to buy windshield wipers.

KitKat said...

SATURDAY

June's given us a Greta-eye view of Saul's circa 1955 dinette set. Mid-century modern comes to Charterstone - how trendy!

If the Saul-Greta plot extends past tomorrow, I fear we'll see Saul and Greta among the guests at Mary's Thanksgiving table, with Toby glaring at Saul as Greta perches next to her and swipes food off her plate.

Anonymous said...


June has some artistic shortcomings (e.g., the way people hold phones), but let's give credit where it's due: she draws Greta very, very well.

And the sooner she stops, the better.

-- S. McW.

Steve G said...

Saul: I PROMISE you'll never WANT for anything again.

Greta:
- We can start with this bow tie
- Then how about a male dachshund? A year is a long time to be in a cage - if you know what I'm saying
- And this kibble has to go.
- And you should put me in your will. My last owner didn't do that and it didn't work out so well.
- And let's redecorate this place. It's like living in a chihuahua museum and everything smells.
- And did I mention the male dachshund?


.

KitKat said...

SUNDAY
It’s a Sunday retread, everyone. Like Mary’s tires....

TimP said...

Sunday's strip gets bonus points for deploying an especially trite cliche so there is that...

fauxprof said...

In the seldom-used “speech-bubble melding into thought-bubble”, Saul pledges to be less grumpy. Aw, and I was looking forward to him sewing up a Santa suit from the drapes and tying an antler to Greta’s head in order to steal Christmas (or what passes for it) from Mary Whoville.

Anonymous said...

Will lthis ever end??? Saul and Bella firsh appeared on August 27th. This storyline takes the prize for seeming to last forever. It's Veterans Day, not Groundhog Day.

Yahoonski said...

MONDAY: Has anybody got a stake we can drive through the heart of this story?

Kudos to Steve G. for Greta's thoughts on Saturday!

LouiseF said...

I don't see Saul carrying any poop-scooping bags... Surprised Toby isn't pointing that out. Instead, she backhandedly bad mouths Saul's dead dog, referring to how "friendly" Greta is. Nice job, Toby! Tomorrow: a nice helping of Toby Rehash...

Anonymous said...

I think it would have been great if June had drawn Greta jumping up and grabbing Toby by the throat.

TimP said...

Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good
Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good
Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good
Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good
Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good
Shut out the Bad
Shut out the Good

KitKat said...

I hope the stultifying tedium of this plot haven't driven away Wanders and @nance! We haven't heard from either of them since November 7.

doug said...

I'm hoping the reintroduction of Toby in the story means that it's coming to an end. One week victory lap and then move on to Mary's next unbelievably trite adventure?

RobC said...

I just got back from a weekend camping trip with my Boy Scout Troop. Is the story arc over yet?