Thursday, December 20, 2018

Mary Worth 3030

Now Estelle, Saul, AND Ian have pets.

53 comments:

fauxprof said...

Why Ian. What a tiny, tiny hand you have.

Anonymous said...


"Oh come on, Miss. Everyone knows that size doesn't matter."

-- Scottie McW.

TimP said...

So, I one time had a speech and communications professor deliver William Jennings Bryan's Cross of Gold speech in class and it was a pretty darned impressive oratory spectacle.

Unfortunately, that experience gives me an all too close to life idea of what Ian spouting out 'ta beya ayer na tah beya.'

KitKat said...

Maybe that's not Ian's hand. He might have taken up ventriloquism, and the hand belongs to his dummy, Robert the Bruce MacCameron.

Unfortunately for the Cameron marriage, the only thing that blows Toby away is muffins.

meg said...

And...history is about to repeat itself.

1980: Oh, Pwofessor Camewon, you are so stwong and bwave!
Noo, Miss Toby, don’t try tae flatter me! Ah am auld enaw tae be yer faculty advisor.
‘Tis twue, ‘tis twue!

Hilda, Ah want a divorce.

Cameron, you’ll never get tenure at this institution!

Ah don’t caur, Ah love the wee blonde lassie.


Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"The Billy Mays Script For University's Infomercial".

Awesome! Amazing!
Me! Shakespeare! Everyone!
You! Knowledge...Skill...
Blew away!

meg said...

Nance, are you brilliant, or just a Russian bot with a droll sense of humor?

mmt3k said...

Meg, the day bots develop a sense of humor we're all in trouble!

Nance said...

@meg--You are flattering me, and I will take it! (Every day of the week.)

I'm Croatian, actually, with a bit of the usual Anglo Mutt Mix. I'll let you decide which one is responsible for my humour.

meg said...

Well, because of the way you spelled humour, I gotta go with Anglo.

Jana C.H. said...

Croatian plus Anglo-Mutt? Well, the British are known for their strange sense of humor, but I confess myself to be woefully ignorant about the other part of your heritage, Nance. Is there a Croatian Monty Python? Is it available on YouTube?

Anonymous said...

Been working 13h days since Dec 1 and going in at 1am. I hope to start following the blog again inthe new year., No idea what's happening in the Worthyverse, but Merry Christmas all!

Chester the Dog said...

Why are the books facing that way? Does Ian not need to see the name of the book when he chooses one?

meg said...

RobC- you’ve missed a lot. The cops were called for a domestic disturbance at Zak and Iris’ crib; Mary is in trouble for selling her muffins without a license, and Wilbur has had a hair transplant. Same old, same old.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Meg, don't forget that Dawn came back from beautiful Italy with a baby and a new husband. She's now Mrs. Harlan Jones. (You say it the way Judy Garland said "I'm Mrs. Norman Maine" in a Star is Born.)

Anonymous said...

Looking forward to seeing Ian clean shaven with dyed hair.

Nance said...

FRIDAY

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"And You Can Call Me Sox...I Mean, Ian".

Powerful voice hours!
Theater?
No...say, Janelle?
Yes! Jannie!
Glad something!
Never!

fauxprof said...

OK, let’s forget the faux part of my nickname (inside family joke) and establish that I’ve got the credentials to say that while some students might try handing out that crap to their professors, no sane professor would swallow it for a minute. Either “Jannie” (gag!) needs some extra credit because she understands nothing of the lecture, or she is inexplicably attracted to Ian. Either way, the best course for Ian is to politely show her out and give her a very wide berth in the future. But this is the Worthiverse....

KitKat said...

Hey Chinbeard, check RateMyProfessor.com, where your students have posted a lot of feedback. You might want to have a bottle of Ould Greene Astroturf Kilt Whisky and a glass at hand when you read their zany remarks.

Anonymous said...


Jeez, come on strong much, Jannie?

-- S. McW.

Garnet said...

I stand corrected! That isn't Dawn.

She must be failing quite spectacularly to have to suck up to Ian like that.

meg said...

I hope this doesn’t turn out to be another lame “I think you might be my father” story, unless Ian goes kite-flying with Jannie.

“Now, Jannie, hauld oan tae th’ kite, an’ Ah will start runnin’, an’ when th’ wind catches it, yoo’ll.......huff...puff... Can’t catch mah breath....”

“Daddy, please don’t die!”

Anonymous said...


SATURDAY

Hmm, what publication is Ian reading? Could it be . . .

BLAM! A detective shoot-em-up comic book?

CLAM! A magazine for seafood gourmands?

FLAM! The sister publication of FLIM!?

GLAM! (Never mind. No way would Rumpled Sheepskin be interested in that.)

SLAM! One of those hokey wrestling magazines?

Maybe we'll find out tomorrow.

-- S. McW.

TimP said...

I'm pretty sure that's Toby's delicately manicured finger nail holding up the copy of xLAM! magazine. As such, I'm going to go with SLAM! magazine, the lifestyle magazine for verbally abusing your life partner.

fauxprof said...

Oh, I think it’s GLAM, the lifestyle magazine for aging male academics. The featured article this month is about colorful, textured sport coats. Ever since the green astroturf jacket wore out, Ian has been looking for a replacement. He’s leaning toward the granny-square crocheted tartan (with suede elbow patches, of course.)

Yahoonski said...

I don't know why y'all think there's a letter missing from the title. I'm pretty sure it's just a cutesy spelling of LAMB, and it's full of recipes for haggis.

Jana C.H. said...

It's a magazine for escaped criminals: "On the Lam!" The first two words are in a smaller font, one word above the other.

Anonymous said...


TimP is correct. That is Toby. I didn't notice the fingernails. Good catch.

But it sure looks like Ian has his face buried in it. Maybe he's ogling Glam! models.

-- S. McW.

meg said...

Pretty sure it’s CLAM. Toby’s looking for a recipe for Ian’s favorite seafood cocktail, Clam with a (wee) Dram.

Fill one mug with Famous Auld Fishbreath; top with one scoop of boiled spoots . Serve to Auld Familiar. Repeat.

(And don’t go to google images to see what a spoot looks like.)

KitKat said...

I thought the magazine is LAME, but there doesn’t seem to be room for the E.

mr_darcy said...

I'm just hoping Jannie smokes and pushes Toby over a railing.

Tim said...

Professor Chinbeard should be an expert on Moby Dick rather than Shakespeare. And no that's not a sexual reference.

Jana C.H. said...

I couldn't resist, so I did the image-search for spoot. Yes, they're a bit odd, but nothing like as obscene as a geoduck.

LouiseF said...

Anyone notice how suddenly pumped up and Iron jawed JB has drawn Ian? Plus Ian and Toby in bed?! Is that a first for the Worthiverse?

Anonymous said...

Sure did, LouiseF! I think Ian must have lied to Toby about attending a seminar last summer. It must have been some kind of Ironman bootcamp! He is BUFF!

KitKat said...

Are Ian and Toby in a twin bed, or is immense Ian taking up three quarters of the space? Toby may roll off her side any second now.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I think Jannie is mistaking Chinbeard with Broadway legend Ken Kensington. (They do look alike.). Chinbeard is absolutely giddy that someone has given him 10 minutes of attention. Maybe Toby stop painting those John Wayne Gary clown pictures, cobbling those lousy grayscale animals and reading Glam! and throw Chinbeard some crumbs, but he’s such an egotistical jerk we’ll be hearing him bragging to Mary for three weeks.

meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KitKat said...

MONDAY
Christmas Eve morning with the Camerons: Ian's eating a bagel, not a muffin, and Toby resumes her taunting from the night before. By midnight they may resemble George and Martha from " Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf," especially once Toby exchanges the coffee for something stronger. It is the holidays, after all!

Anonymous said...


"Seriously, Ian, I find it absolutely hilarious that you think a student would give you a sincere compliment! YOU! Hahahahahahahah!"

Merry Christmas one an all!

-- S. McW.

TimP said...

To Scottie McW's point, there's a bit more tension between the Auld Familiars if Toby was thinking about this overnight and brought it up in the most demeaning way possible first thing in the morning...

Tim said...

Toby has both the IQ and EQ of one of your stupider types of rock. Methinks Karen Moy is going overboard with this portrayal of Toby, which comes right on the heels of her insensitivity toward old man Wynter.
Hmmm, perhaps she's planning on writing Toby and replacing her with Ian adoring Jannie.

lmjb1964 said...

KitKat, your observation is spot on. Maybe they'll invite Iris and Zak over for dinner and try to ruin that relationship with their bitterness.

it Ia going to stop calling Toby "the old familiar" and start calling her...well, it's not family friendly.

Merry Christmas to all!

Tim said...

Some more random thoughts. I'm sure Toby uptalks and snorts when she laughs.
Ian could punish Toby for her density by showing off his mad literary and oratory skills by reciting Vogon poetry. That would shut Toby up.

fauxprof said...

Wow, references to both Edward Albee and Douglas Adams in one morning. I love hanging out with literary types. Somehow, I doubt that either Toby or Ian would get either of them.

A very merry Christmas to those who celebrate!

Yahoonski said...

Wow. Toby really is quite the (can we say "ballbuster" here?). Merry Christmas, etc. to you all. You too, Ms. Moy.

Nance said...

Hmmm...Toby fails to realize what her comments say about her choice of Ian Cameron as a husband and continued partner, then.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, and Warm Wishes to everyone.

meg said...

Toby, if he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

Perhaps Mary will host a Festivus dinner tomorrow and the Camerons will participate in the airing of the grievances.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Merry Christmas to Wanders and all in the Mary Worth And Me world!

I see Dawn is back from Beautiful Italy and with Wilbur, who would never pass up a free meal.

Nice to see Professor Pompous finally stopped bragging about how wonderful Jannie thinks he is and how wonder his "theatrical voice is" to partake of Mary's Turkey with tomatoes and pears. She has a look of maniacal joy in panel two. She's going to tell Jeff she invited Libby over for a Christmas visit.

fauxprof said...

I see that Dawn has slipped back into town without fanfare. Unless that’s Jannie. Or a hologram. At any rate, a Holly Jolly Christmas is being had by all. No Beedies are present, for which we may be joyful.

A blessed day to all my Worthiverse family!

Yahoonski said...

Regina, what you call maniacal joy I perceived as HIGH AS A KITE!


Wanders, you deserve the time off, but we miss you. Happy holidays to y'all!

meg said...

That’s a strange little hipster goatee Mary is sporting.

KitKat said...

Merry Christmas to Wanders, his family, and all my Worthiverse friends!

Is that a "sexy Mrs. Claus" outfit Toby is sporting? Maybe she was hoping Zak would be among the guests at Chez Worth. Since he's not, she may be draining and refilling her wine glass frequently.

Mary looks positively crazed in p. 2. She can't wait for her guests to try the muffin stuffing. And won't she be delighted when Ted Miller shows up as Jeff's surprise guest?