Monday, January 16, 2017

Mary Worth 2498

"Also, you might want to send a vague letter to an advice columnist. I'm sure she'd have a lot of great suggestions."


fauxprof said...

The ants are back and they're eating Mary's slippers! Auuuggghh!

meg said...

Meanwhile, back at the hospital in New Zealand:

Wilbur has a roommate at the hospital. It's Buzz Aldrin, second man on the Moon, as he's always eager to tell you.

Buzz: When I was going to the Moon, when I was on the Moon, when I was on Dancing With the Stars, yada yada yada.

(Wilbur thinks: does he never shut up?)

Wilbur: When I helped rescue victims from the sinking of the Chicken of the Sea, when I broke a beautiful blonde's heart, when I had to save a guy from a giant attacking penguin, yada yada yada.

(Buzz thinks: will he ever shut up?)

Buzz: I demonstrated the coefficient of friction (when I slipped on ice) at the South Pole).

Wilbur: I finished the Jerrinator at Jerry's Sandwich Shop in less than an hour and I didn't have to pay one thin dime for it!

Buzz: My BMI is 20.0, that of a much younger man.

Wilbur: I have the digestion of a much younger man.

Buzz: I've met Neal Armstrong and John Glenn.

Wilbur: I'd love to meet them, can you get me an introduction? I can introduce you to the oldest woman in the world.

Buzz: Armstrong and Glenn are both dead.

Wilbur: Oh! That's too bad. But I can still introduce you to Mary Worth.

KitKat said...

How lazy can Mary/Wendy get? Not even consulting all those gray books - !!

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Well, I've said it before, and I'll say it again ... along with the new look that Mary got with the new artist, she seems to have gotten a personality transplant as well. How in the world does our dear old Mary Worth resist the temptation to meddle? Here, someone is actually ASKING her to meddle! And she's STILL not doing it?!?!?! ... I WANT MY MARY BACK!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks "Wendy". If I had actual friends, I would ask them. Instead I'm turning to a newspaper advice columnist who just rubs my nose in it.

Yahoonski said...

What a taste treat for those ants. Corn-flavored pink fluff. Umph. Grrrg. Bleeeeah!

And are we to believe Mary is actually using boldface for emphasis in her reply? Well, the letter writer apparently did, so why not?

Moss_Moses said...

Since when does the queen of heavy meddle turn down an open invitation to meddle? It's like she's trying to divest herself from meddling by telling others to make a list or ask a friend. This is not the Mary Worth I know and hate.

Anonymous said...

Everyone relax about Mary's seeming lack of meddling. She already knows Iris sent this, unaware of Wendy's real identity, and changing the details so Wilbur and Zak won't realize their fate is in the hands of a shitty newspaper columnist. All "Wendy" is doing is pulling the strings to make sure Iris comes running back to her only friend, Mary Worth.