Mary Worth 4209

Well, you are over 60, and there aren't many worthwhile men out there in your age group. Perhaps you will have to settle. There's always Wilbur Weston.

Mary Worth 4164

Did you know that in Cassablanca, Humphry Bogart never says, "Play it again, Sam?" He actually says, "Play it again, Sau."

Mary Worth 4162

Eggplant is one of those foods that everybody seems to like, but I just can't stand it. Not even in otherwise-delicious pasta dishes, or funny sounding dips like baba ganoush. Okay, I realize they probably won't serve baba ganoush at an Italian restaurant, and I just wanted to say baba ganoush. But seriously, I hate egg plant.

Mary Worth 4105

I might have thought Iris hates My Thai after The Incident at My Thai. It was almost as bad as the Incident at Picadee Falls.

Mary Worth 4057

Easily pacified, Zak has forgotten all about whatever it was he and Iris were talking about earlier, now that she's mentioned Piccadee Falls. What a good boy he is. His Nan always thought so.

Mary Worth 3817

To quote Jill Black, "Ha ha ha ha."

I guess we didn't see this coming. I mean, we all did, but we didn't really think Karen Moy would go there. The story went from sublime to ridiculous very quickly.

Mary Worth 3770

Pets 'R' Us? Is he buying Geoffry Giraffe?

Mary Worth 3756

Estelle is really bad at break ups.

Mary Worth 3752

Don't worry, Wilbur. Time wounds all heels.

Mary Worth 3740

Today's strip is the perfect opportunity for me to say, "I'm going on vacation!" I know I'm going to miss a lot of exciting adventure and animal hijinks this next week, but I'll be having fun of another sort. Whoosh!

Mary Worth 3739

"And when we get there, remember, if you see any chicks, magnetize them!"

Mary Worth 3734

"I am willing to say anything, and hand you this expensive, fragile, living animal to take home, right now, no questions asked, just to get you out of here."

Mary Worth 3726

First of all I missed this gem yesterday:

Wilbur tried to meet girls at the dog beach. They were all dogs. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sound the trumpets! Mary's gonna Meddle! A variety of muffins sounds very promising.

Mary Worth 3714

I hope that for the piggies' sake, Libby's revenge includes a bucket of pig blood poured down from the ceiling.

Mary Worth 3684

"Thanks! The security video of you slugging me in the head was also fab!"

Mary Worth 3679

The lines in this image look a little blurry. It is almost as if it's been photocopied and reused so many times, it is starting to lose its integrity. Much like the Red Cross if they don't issue that cease-and-desist letter soon.

Mary Worth 3666

I'm completely drawn to the symbiology of Shauna's earring. I understand Masons revere circles as a symbol of the compass, which I used in the fifth grade to draw circles in geometry. And the square is symbolic of a square that you can use to make squares and measure square things. Historically, and in many cultures, the circle represents our spiritual selves and the square represents our physical selves. The common image of a circle inside a square can be symbolic of our spiritual selves suppressed by our physical bodies. But Shauna's earring is a square inside a circle, and seems to be indicating now that she's clean and sober, her spiritual self has overcome the addictions and weakness of her flesh. Not like that !@#$% Ashlee!

Mary Worth 3641

Underneath my good looks, brains, and trust fund, I'm just an average guy. I'm also almost 40 and still live with my dad.

Mary Worth 3629

So, I guess the Good Grub Diner is actually in Santa Royale, which is why Drew assumes Ashlee has heard of these places and knows which downtown he's referencing. I thought he was out in the woodlands. And it looks like the deal is final: Mountview Hospital was officially bought out by the Northview Medical Services conglomerate (I'll miss you Mountview Hospital).

And another thing! Ashlee, you forgot his 'slaw! You get one chance to impress this celebrity doctor influencer and put the Good Grub diner on the map, and you mess it up.

Mary Worth 3538 and the Panel of the Year Runoff Results

Well, I'm glad to see that Saul doesn't put off birthday shopping until the last minute.

This morning I woke to all kinds of news about the Runoff Vote. Every headline. I had no idea we had garnered this much media attention, but today is the day that we announce the winner.

As a reminder, the two leaders in our original Worthy Awards Panel of the Year category were separated by only one vote, forcing a runoff between:

My Water Dish is Empty

And...

Take This Onion Ring

 Again, this has been an incredibly close vote. Our winner had 50.6 percent of the vote. Which comes to a 16-vote lead after 1,236 ballots were counted. Very close, but still, under the Charterstone Condominium Association Rule 58a (II)c (1997 edition), close enough to declare that the 2020 Panel of the Year is...

My Water Dish is Empty

These are definitely divided times. I feel a civic duty to unite and heal. Those of you who felt the Onion Ring was best, will be deeply disappointed. Those of you who were moved by the compassion of a thirsty wiener dog, must now apply those same feelings of compassion toward those with whom you disagree. Santa Royale is a special place, and it is time to come together, white middleclass WASPS and ... and ... and ... See, it is true that in Santa Royale, we share more similarities than differences. The Worthy Awards celebrate winners as much as losers: Losers like Toby, and Ian, and Wilbur. Put down that foil wrapped chunk of cobbler, stop throwing muffins, and sit on the sofa with your cup of Sanka and just... relax.