Mary Worth 1,264

The reader cried because the story had no ending, until he realized that it also had no plot.

And now for something different...

The last story had a few overt references to Christianity ("The First Law" and quoting from the Gospel of Matthew), so lest we think Moy is stuffing her religion down our throats, she now changes gears and writes about an adulterous televangelist?

It looks like we may not be able to read this strip to our children for a while. I know my kids are going to be disappointed.

Also, I feel a bit like a televangelist myself after asking people to donate to our tip jar yesterday! I was really, really surprised and grateful for all of the donations I received. You guys are awesome. I really didn't know when I started this blog if ANYONE would read it. I mean, who knew there would be people interested in following the inspirational adventures of Mary Worth and Friends. But from one another, we gain strength, support, and the knowledge that we are not alone, and that is very empowering. Bless you all. And remember to Give, Give, Give!

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Indeed.

When a blog is this easy to write, it makes me ashamed to even mention that we have a tip jar. You can donate to this blog by clicking here.

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"Mary Worth, Mary Worth! I met the most remarkable man in the park today. He had nothing in the world but a shopping cart overflowing with ketchup and fine hair care products. And yet, he expressed his unconditional love for me. I've finally proven to the world that I'm loveable! And just seeing what a good man he is, I'm not concerned about Dan Smithers either! I'm sure he will turn out to be just as noble as my special hobo."

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"YOU want to see if I'M okay? But you're just a UPS delivery man on his way home from Safeway with a cart full of stewed tomatoes and blueberry pie filling. It's so typical of peons like you to suck up to powerful women like me. No, begone, and take your pie filling with you!"

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Suddenly, the slowest panhandler in the world comes to life! "No!" says the wise old sagey smelling coot. "I don't want your change. I simply want to use 'change' as a metaphor for transforming your life from one of selfish accumulation, to one of generosity. Follow my ways, and one day you'll be just like me."

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Nola has fled Santa Royale's Most Expensive Shopping District without getting What She Wants! The shame. O, the shame!

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As Dan Smithers is sucked across the street into Boutique, Nola is so overcome with ennui that she props herself up against the Big Sale windowsill and tries to take a nap. I know how she feels.

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Okay, Nola, ask yourself very carefully, what is it that you want?

It has been suggested that I create a label for Dan Smithers, but don't kid yourself, Dan Smithers will never be anything more than a bit player. I'm beginning to think he got what he deserved.

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Mary Worth 1,256

That's an awfully passive sentence for such an aggressive attitude. Try this instead, "You ruined my life, you *&(^%* liar!" That's much more active. Oh, wait, you pretty much said it that way yesterday.

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I like to think of the symbols as not representing profanity, but rather profundity. Perhaps they symbolize "Reprehensible," or "Deplorable."

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Dan Smithers??!! What are you doing in one of the most expensive shopping districts of Santa Royale? Aren't you currently unemployed?

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I'll start coming up with new things to say, as soon as writer Karen Moy does. But that may be a while since my online thesaurus lists the following words as synonyms for deplorable:

afflictive, awful, blameworthy, bummer, calamitous, dire, dirty, disastrous, disgraceful, dishonorable, disreputable, distressing, dolorous, downer, dreadful, execrable, faulty, grievous, grim, heartbreaking, heartrending, horrifying, intolerable, lamentable, lousy, melancholy, miserable, mournful, opprobrious, overwhelming, pitiable, poor, regrettable, reprehensible (already used), rotten, sad, scandalous, sickening, stinking, terrible, tragic, unbearable, unsatisfactory, woeful, wretched

Have a deplorable St. Patrick's Day everyone!

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Mary Worth 1,252

You know who else wouldn't approve of Nola's actions? Mr. Rogers. And I'm pleased to announce that one of my absolute favorite books, I'm Proud of You, has just been released for Kindle. Jeff Cory? Are you listening? This wonderful book is the true story of the unlikely and inspiring friendship between sports writer Tim Madigan and my hero Fred Rogers. I can't say enough good things about this book, and I hope you'll take the time to read it.


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Mary Worth 1,251

She's also a sociopath who belongs in jail, but maybe we can help with her self-esteem issue.

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Thank you Toby! You speak for millions of readers when you say, "Please stop repeating yourself!"

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Mary Worth, power walking in pearls, is overjoyed at Nola's bristling. Toby and Mary are going to have a great laugh about the error of Nola's ways. Which are mostly prosecutable by law.

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Too many words. I wasn't going to even bother with today's strip because of all the words, but then I spotted that magical phrase #*&^% and my curiosity was up. Mary Worth, once again appealing to our baser instincts.

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What a delightful treat today. We get a repeat of the best line of the past seven days, plus a return visit of the Belgian waffle from last Friday. I really appreciate that Mary Worth repeats its content so consistently in case anyone may have missed an earlier strip. Because most people have.

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This lunch started at Luna's....

But it seems the ladies either changed locations mid-meal, or they've been rambling on so long, the business has changed hands.

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The unusual thing in this scene is that both ladies have there hands in their laps. The hands you see are merely passing through the picture as they float by in mid air.

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Mary destroys lives for the pleasure of it. Not for personal gain.

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Mary, if you want a REAL shock, just turn around. A giant Belgian waffle is sneaking up behind you.

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It's interesting that Nola always gets what she wants, but I still don't know what it is THAT she wants. Except perhaps a new friend. Which she certainly has found in Mary Worth.

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