Mary Worth 67

I thought Jeff was going for his gun when he reached into the green jacket of anger. But I didn't know who he was planning to shoot. Chester? Mary? Himself?

Mary Worth 66

For the last two days, Mary Worth has been tormenting her boy friend, Dr. Jeff Corey, with innuendo about her new "male house guest," leaving him so enraged we could actually see his "!" over the phone.

I can only assume, dear reader, Jeff slammed down the phone and has sped over to Charterstone to reclaim his woman. His twisted grin barely masks his insane, burning jealousy, which Mary, Ha-Ha, finds quite endearing. After the bodies fall, the joke sure will be on him. Ha Ha.

Mary Worth 65

The first indication that someone is an obsessive old lady dog lover is loss of eye hand coordination. Easy on the eyebrow pencil, there, Mary Worth!

Mary Worth 64

Of course you wanted to buy out the store, Mary Worth! It's Black Friday! It's Black Friday! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Mary Worth 63

Yes, Mary Worth, there is so much to be grateful for on this Thanksgiving Day. PetSmart, and their Pre-Black Friday sale is just one of them. As for me, Mary Worth, I'm simply grateful for you and all the joy you've given me this year.

Mary Worth 62

Focus, Mary. Focus!

I'd say Mary's beginning to bond just as I'd hoped. But at unpredictably unhealthy levels! She's becoming disoriented and obsessed. But when the little child is reunited with Chester, we all know Mary's psychotic obsession will fade like Dawn Weston's obsession for Drew Cory. Do you think Mary will slap Chester a good one?

You know, Mary. You can always get your own dog.

Mary Worth 61

Run, Chester, Run!! Run like Toto from the Wicked Witch of the West.

When Toby learned Mary was going to ride her bike down New Country Road, do you think she called a residents meeting and they planted Chester in the middle of the street with a mild sedative just to get Mary to stop meddling in their lives? When Mary finds out Chester really was a gift, she's going to go berserk.

But for the moment, all of Santa Royale rejoices at this turn of events.

Houston, We Have a Problem

The Houston Chronicle, long recognized for one of the best comics sections in the business recently hacked an entire page of comics. Mary Worth didn't stand a chance amongst such carnage. You can read all about it here.

I'm doing all I can to restore Mary Worth to its rightful place of honor, but the Powers That Be just seem too heartless.

You can leave a comment at Chron.com to protest!

Mary Worth 60

"Interesting. I've lived here since 1972 and I never knew that we could have dogs." Now that the word is out, I'm sure everyone will want one. Up until now, dogs have been as scarce at Charterstone as people of color. We'll start with dogs and then add an Asian family. One step at a time. One step at a time.

I love that in panel two, Mary is still feeling passive aggressive, even though everything is fine. And how she speaks for the entire population of Charterstone. Just because it wouldn't work for her, she assumes it wouldn't work for everyone. Just wait until the 2 a.m. barking begins, then we'll see how the neighbors feel about pets!

Mary Worth 59

Oh, right, now's a great time to ask. You had all yesterday afternoon to review your condo by-laws and association rules, but let's wait until you get Chester home, have him sitting on your living room carpet wondering when you're going to stop carrying around those new dog dishes and give him some food. But don't worry, I'm sure the board will think Chester is adorable, agree that you're the Canine Good Samaritan, and allow Chester to stay as long as you put down lots of newspapers.

Sadly, there may not be many Mary Worth cartoons in those papers as this fine strip continues to be ousted by editorial boards in an effort to attract younger readers. So, they drive out their older readers to attract younger readers who aren't going to read the newspaper anyway? Oh, yes, Boards are always so smart and reasonable aren't they. You should have no problem, Mary Worth, getting them to let Chester stay.

Mary Worth 58

Mary, in that book you're reading, did anything in the title even remotely suggest that you might try looking for the little children who lost their dog - er, excuse me: Your dog?

Either Mary Worth is such a huge David Spade fan that she reads the novelizations of extremely mediocre movies, or I'm thinking this is the book that Karen Moy is hoping to promote:

However, I can't find a character named Chester in it. The dog in this book is named Cooper, or Lloyd, or something like that.

We shall see if a Mary Worth endorsement carries the same weight as the Oprah Book Club. We shall see.

Mary Worth 57

Toby said New Country Road was a good place for thinking. You could make a fortune renting thought balloons and bicycles to tourists here. The road goes on and on and on, just like Mary's thoughts about how wonderful she is. But is Mary actually convinced that she's somehow met her good-deed quota for the day? She really has no idea who she is, does she. What would happen if Mary came across another wounded animal lying in the road right now? Would she keep riding back and forth to Spot 'n Boots Animal Hospital with wounded cats, squirrels, opossums? Of course, she doesn't have the basket anymore so maybe that will be her excuse for passing on the other side of the street.

"Next time I'm bringing my Harley to the Canine Kingdom and returning as Emperor!"

Mary Worth 56

Awkward parallelism, Mary Worth. I believe you meant, "Is this mission of mercy or idea of wackiness?"

Regardless, does anyone know how long it might take Mary to nurse the dog back to health, bond with the dog, realize it doesn't really belong to her, track down the rightful owners, and see the joy on the children's faces when she returns Dog in a Basket to them?

Mary Worth 55

Oh my gosh! A veterinarian who can actually quote the titles of James Herriot books! Who'd have ever dreamed? Tomorrow he continues, "All things bright and beautiful, All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all, Every living thing." Catchy. Someone ought to put that to music or something.

Mary Worth 54

"Yes, I'll return in the morning, but let me go ahead and leave a blank check for you to write in whatever amount you want. Ah, heck, go ahead and take my Mastercard."

Mary Worth 53

Tiny Cat Lover Lady is hilarious! I hope they make her a major character. Sadly, I think her size is unintentional. The depth perception in this picture is so bad, I lose my balance just looking at it.

Mary Worth 52

I think calling that beagle innocent is awfully presumptuous. He's a dog. Chances are there is nothing innocent about him.

Thankfully, the most unusually named animal hospital ever is nearby. It took me a bit of research, but I finally discovered that the name has nothing to do with the blood spots on the carpet from the many beaten and boot-kicked animals that are brought there. Rather, it is named for the substantially large endowment the hospital received from those very famous animal philanthropists Spot and Boots.

Despite Mary's belief in the innocence of animals and the dire medical attention required by this one, she spends 47 minutes removing the wire basket from her bicycle rather than just picking the dog up and carrying him inside in her arms. When it comes to dog germs, one cannot be too careful.