Mary Worth 3778

Freak! Are those the same muffins that were in the same Zip-Lock bag that the Milk-Bones and catnip treats were in? Bon Appetite.

Mary Worth 91

Chester can FLY?? Maybe, Mary, if you'd known Chester could actually FLY, you'd not have parted with him quite so easily!

Mary Worth 90

Thus, another exciting Mary Worth Adventure reaches its startling conclusion! And what have we learned? Saying thank you is not necessary. Thank you Mary Worth for reminding me not to say thank you. Wait. But, uh, no, wait... what do you say, Mary, if you feel, er, thankful?

With a climax like this, is there any question why this cartoon is so dang popular?

Mary Worth 89

So, Vinny "The Brain" DeSoto turns out to be just some nice guy from Modesto named Thomas. Nothing nefarious; no foul play; and most disappointing of all -- based on the way he's dressed -- there will be no big reward. Poor Mary. All that work caring for this guy's dog (favorite scarves destroyed, rump injuries), and the best she's going to get is a free meal at Applebee's where Thomas is a short order cook.

Mary Worth 88

As if how Mary Worth feels about this man matters. But, of course, I forget that Mary controls the universe with her omniscient powers of meddling.

You think Dr. Jeff Corey was jealous of Chester? Wait until Mary falls for his owner Vinny "The Brain" DeSoto. I'll bet Jeff won't be so tough when Mary turns moll to a wiseguy with a dog.

Mary Worth 86

Somewhat attached? Somewhat? I'd be surprised if Mary Worth doesn't have some trick up her sleeve to send Chester's owner to doggy heaven to find himself a new pet.

Mary Worth 85

I admit, I've been vacationing in Vegas so I haven't been posting a lot of Mary Worth blog entries, but I did meet many shady characters there. However, none were as shady as Vinnie "The Brain" DeSoto who has called to claim his dog, "Ralphie." To prove the dog is his, Vinnie asks Mary to get "Ralphie" to perform a trick.

Just the kind of cold blooded trick you'd expect from Vinnie "The Brain" DeSoto.

Unique? Uh, okay. Unique enough at least to convince Mary that Vinnie is on the square. Now, all she needs to do is meet Vinnie at some abandoned pier and collect the "reward."

Mary Worth 84

Leaving a Voice Message 101: In this course students will learn to wait for the beep, to state their name, and to leave a NUMBER WHERE THEY CAN BE REACHED!

Someone doesn't want their dog back.

Mary Worth 83

I deliberately ignored Sunday's strip, but a couple of things do need to be reviewed before enjoying today's delightful installment. First, Mary Worth's right buttocks still throbs:
And Second, Mary owns an answering machine:

And as for this moring, I only wish Chester had thought balloons:

So I am pleased to announce the First Ever Mary Worth and Me Not-A-Real-Contest: If Chester could think, what would he be thinking in panel two above? Give it your best creative effort. The winner of this Not-A-Real-Contest will receive bragging rights and be able to pick a new song for our Charterstone Juke Box. I'll announce the winner on January 2nd!

*Note: This Not-A-Real-Contest is not a real contest.

Mary Worth 82

Oh, my stars. He chews one scarf and barks at a chihuahua and suddenly Mary is filled with doubt about her capacity to care for the dog she stole. Mary, I'm not fit for dog ownership either, and our dog chewed everything and puked all over the house on a daily basis!

And, again, what is it with your right buttocks? You are really fixated on it. So much so that you're starting to draw unwanted attention from the leader of the Vipers there. If I didn't know what you were thinking, I'd say you were coming on to him. And I don't think he has the same power that I have to read your thought balloons.

Mary Worth 81

That's right, Mary. Chester doesn't really belong to you... oh, wait. That's not what you mean. You're dismayed that Evil Mary Worth has blamed you for the altercation. Well, Mary Worth, I'm sure once your Evil Twin is done meddling in your life, you'll be blamed for a whole lot more than just getting your leash tangled.

And, Mary, what the heck is wrong with your buttocks? I don't mean to pry, but is it an Old Lady Thing? Because suddenly, it seems to be throbbing.

Mary Worth 80

This panel proves that the laws of physics no longer apply in Santa Royale, California, and I'm more convinced than ever that time and space have conspired to introduce Evil Mary Worth and her little chihuahua to Charterstone from a nearby parallel universe. Because Mary and her evil doppelganger are dressed so similarly (if you look closely you can tell them apart because Mary is wearing slacks, and Evil Mary is wearing a skirt), I'm sure the switch will play out much as it did in Start Trek, Season 1, Episode 5: "The Enemy Within." Heaven help Dr. Jeff Corey.

Mary Worth 79

I've been struggling all morning to comprehend this panel. Mary apparently attempts to restrain Chester from barking silently at the chihuahua. Meanwhile, Mean Lady recoils her retractable leash and dangles her dog in the air like some sort of doomed piñata.

I can see a number of ways this story line will develop, but they all end up with Mary baking a pie.

Edited to add: And who is this dark-haired lady? Could it be Evil Mary Worth from a parallel universe that has suddenly crossed through the time-space continuum? In our dimension, Charterstone is a simple condominium apartment building full of bumbling simpletons. In the other, Charterstone is an asylum for the insane, and Evil Mary Worth is some sort of Nurse Ratched who rules the roost with electric shock therapy instead of tuna casserole.

Mary Worth 77

Don't get too excited about this blatant attempt at foreshadowing. In Santa Royale, adventure can be used to describe many things. Barking at a cat. Observing a bird in its nest. Making a new friend at the park. What we shouldn't expect is Mary Worth abducted by jewel thieves who throw her down an abandoned mine shaft where she discovers a lost treasure and then is rescued from rising subterranean waters by Chester at the very last moment.

Mary Worth 76

Okay, so I was wrong about the sofa color, but Chester is on the couch, and he does talk: "Woof." Mary is actually reading out loud to her dog. I love that Mary has managed to meddle while deferring her authority to the experts, whose pictures I presume are on the back cover of her book. Spot and Boots (of animal hospital bequest fame) are the leading dog psychology experts. They wrote the book, so to speak. Woof.

Mary Worth 74

Or it could be that Chester IS A DOG!! Dogs destroy stuff all the time. Get used to it, or take him back to New Country Road and leave him there, which (if I'm reading Mary's expression in panel two correctly) is exactly what she plans to do.

Could it be that Mary is finally beginning to think the dog might be happier with its REAL owners instead of trapped in her clutches at the Charterstone Condominium?

Mary Worth 73

This will teach Mary to run off with Dr. Jeff Corey and leave Chester the Dog behind. Never again, Mary Worth, never again.

Mary Worth 67

I thought Jeff was going for his gun when he reached into the green jacket of anger. But I didn't know who he was planning to shoot. Chester? Mary? Himself?

Mary Worth 66

For the last two days, Mary Worth has been tormenting her boy friend, Dr. Jeff Corey, with innuendo about her new "male house guest," leaving him so enraged we could actually see his "!" over the phone.

I can only assume, dear reader, Jeff slammed down the phone and has sped over to Charterstone to reclaim his woman. His twisted grin barely masks his insane, burning jealousy, which Mary, Ha-Ha, finds quite endearing. After the bodies fall, the joke sure will be on him. Ha Ha.

Mary Worth 61

Run, Chester, Run!! Run like Toto from the Wicked Witch of the West.

When Toby learned Mary was going to ride her bike down New Country Road, do you think she called a residents meeting and they planted Chester in the middle of the street with a mild sedative just to get Mary to stop meddling in their lives? When Mary finds out Chester really was a gift, she's going to go berserk.

But for the moment, all of Santa Royale rejoices at this turn of events.