Karen Moy LOVES me! She knows how I respond to the most beautiful words in the Worthiverse: I'm going to tell you a story. Never doubt Karen Moy's love for me. The following panels prove the extent of that love! 
Erm... Scott, on your way to your local honeymoon destination is probably not the best time to bring up Ted Confey. Maybe before you proposed. Yeah, that would have been a better time to assess Adrian's feelings about her former fiance. But now, you just come across as insecure. It's very unattractive. I'm sure Ted was never so insecure.
Please... stop the car... I need you to let me out... I do not want to be here... I do not want to go on this honeymoon. I keep waiting for the story to change, but each day brings us closer to their local honeymoon destination. Let the couple have their privacy. Spare me.
For three days we've watched Scott pack that trunk with about as much hand-me-down luggage as it can hold, and where are they going? Northern Santa Royale? That sounds pretty remote. Be sure to pack your microwave so you can make popcorn.
Kids, let this be a lesson to you. Jill Black could have easily saved 700,000 French Pacific Francs if she hadn't gotten so drunk at last night's rehearsal dinner. 
If you think things have been exciting this week as Adrian has read Jill's letter, just wait until next week when Scott reads it!
You mean, erase from our memories the most memorable, spectacular, excellent moment in Mary Worth in 2010? A moment so awesome that Joe Giella has chosen to recreate it for today's strip just to remind us of what you want us to erase? Consider it erased.
"It doesn't matter how... It doesn't matter that you were a fool to lose $50,000 to a con man... it doesn't matter that you fell in love with the cop who 'saved' you... it doesn't matter that you make three times as much money as him... What matters is that you are both desperate enough to think you're happy together..."
"I'd know that handwriting anywhere... it's on all of my performance reviews."
I'm not saying you can't clap like that... it's physically possible, but emotionally disturbing to witness so close up.
Drew! Oh, Drew! You made it. I can't tell you how excited I am to see you. You seem to have really matured since you left for Vietnam. You've already said two sentences without talking about how great you are.
Well, it was a lovely wedding... We gathered together at the Church of Math to add one man and one woman together to make one flesh, as the Bible says.
I was a little surprised when the bride's father got disoriented and walked her down the side aisle of the church, but it gave those of us with bad seats and bad mustaches a better look at all the features to love on the bride's dress.
It was a bit stunning when William Shakespeare arrived and quoted from Henry VI, Part III. In fact, it was horribly inappropriate, as Shakespeare usually is when he appears in Mary Worth. He quoted from a scene when the spineless king decides he'd rather meditate than rule, so he asks two of his former enemies to rule jointly in his stead by joining their hearts together. One of the two men pretty quickly turns back against the king and helps slay his son, if I'm remembering right, which I think I am. Anyway, I hope this isn't going to doom the marriage...
The minister had barely started the service, when Shakespeare began to read Venus and Adonis. "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain..." except he said "comforts" instead of "comforteth" so that the groom's friends wouldn't get confused. Also, the poem was way too long and is perhaps his most erotic work. I was really embarrassed for William Shakespeare.
Everyone was really happy and jumped up and started to congratulate the couple, but then the minister asked us to quiet down because he wasn't done yet. Eventually, Mr. and Dr. Scott Hewlett were happily married. I just hope that nothing insane happens at the reception, like some crazy drunk crashing through the wall of the caterer's and ruining the cake...
This has been the best Christmas ever. Thank you Mary Worth. I thought Jill making a scene at the rehearsal dinner was as good as it could get, but now a story?! I love stories! Here are four of my favorites:
That's right! Because this is a rehearsal dinner for those who can handle their liquor. What right does she have to show up if she can't manage a little booze? What kind of wedding would it be if the wedding party showed up without a hangover? Now someone get me another gin.
And with that, Adrian Corey restores order to the Worthiverse. The dinner show is over. Enjoy your meal. Bland is once again on the menu. Oh, and if any one else is thinking of walking out with a $74 bottle of wine, the bar is officially closed. Thank you for your attention.
As Jill squeaks out one last comment, Moy and Giella squeak out one last nominee for the 2010 Worthy Awards.
While Scott and Jeff quietly escort the maid of honor out of the restaurant to drive herself home, I just want to recommend to everyone John Gary's Christmas Album. It's one of my all-time favorites, and very soothing after watching Jill make such a scene at the rehearsal dinner-slash-reception-slash-wedding.
And with one swift karate chop to Scott's throat, the marriage is off.
I get a little chuckle from today's strip because this used to be one of Mrs. Wanders' catch phrases: "What a crock." But I asked her to stop. In my mind, there are too many scatological implications to the phrase. I can't help but picture a large crock pot, sitting on our kitchen counter... simmering... Oh, it's just too disgusting. I'm not chuckling anymore, Jill; I'm gagging. Thanks for ruining breakfast.
Say what you want: Jeff may have confused the rehearsal dinner with the reception; he may have confused the rehearsal dinner with the actual wedding; and he may have confused "father of the bride" with "best man" or even "minister." But he's the only one who figured out how to get Jill to stop drinking.