Karen Moy LOVES me! She knows how I respond to the most beautiful words in the Worthiverse: I'm going to tell you a story. Never doubt Karen Moy's love for me. The following panels prove the extent of that love! 
This has been the best Christmas ever. Thank you Mary Worth. I thought Jill making a scene at the rehearsal dinner was as good as it could get, but now a story?! I love stories! Here are four of my favorites:
I have no idea who Mister Optimist is, but let this be a lesson to us all. Just because two middle-aged people embrace at the hospital is no reason to be happy for them. Although they may look like they've got it made with their fancy clothes, expensive haircuts, and passionate kissing, what Mister Optimist clearly doesn't realize is that the Johnsons are still saddled with tens of thousands of dollars worth of consumer debt; their emotional states fluctuate from one extreme ("I can't go on like this") to the other ("I love you so much!"); and Mr. Johnson insists on wearing his sombrero in the house. No, you just can't judge a book by its cover.
While Bonnie's therapy has put her on the joy side of life's continuum, Ernie has been sapped of all color and light and is left the living embodiment of Bonnie's former empty void.
Two Beatles songs in one week! First, "Doctor Robert," and now "A Little Help From My Friends." How awesome is this?
You'll want to click on the image above to see a larger version. 
I guess we can now stop calling her Bonnie? Bonnie Johnson?, and call her bonny Bonnie Johnson instead. Like Aldo Kelrast, Vera Shields, Ted Confey, and Doctor Good, bonny Bonnie Johnson now has a name that is so obvious even she can fit in at Charterstone.
With apologies to Sir Pauls McCartneys:
For Better or For Worse? That makes me want to buy books! I just hope they have something for me.
Based on the number of books on that book shelf, I'm concerned that Ernie's not staying in a hotel on business, but that his regularly occurring month long trips are nothing more than visits to his second family. Ironically, his other wife is a penny pinching miser, and Ernie has never been able to decide which family he loves more.
Another thing couples argue about is who gets to wear the chin napkin. But in a remarkable display of magnanimity, Mary Worth has relinquished the privilege to Jeff.
What Bonnie is imagining:
To see more of why Bonnie is feeling so great, click here.
If I understand Bonnie correctly, Mary, she's suggesting that she can handle this on her own, and that she really doesn't need your help. She is definitely not asking for you to put her under your voodoo spell.
Mary Worth may be "there" for Bonnie, to help her sort out the mess she calls life, and the mess she calls home, but she isn't such a great listener. In today's entire Sunday strip, all Bonnie manages to squeak out is a desperate, "Mary..." Perhaps she was trying to tell Mary that she's repeating herself terribly.
Today's Full Strip
I don't think I want to know all of Bonnie's bad habits, but cross dressing is clearly one of them.
And I know a fashion counselor whom Bonnie and Ernie can talk to. Er... with whom they may speak.
Four piles. Four different destinies. The sorter shall decide. But who shall presume to sort? Only Mary Worth, for her decree shall not be overlooked on the Day of Final Sorting. O, what a week of glory this shall be. Let the sorting commence!
Mary, I must respectfully disagree. You most certainly can have it both ways. You can have your cake and eat it too. The New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. NPR and FOX News. The Yankees and the Mets. Paper and plastic. You can be both fat AND skinny. Old AND young. Ambiguity is the sugar and spice of life.
Mary, get help. Please. Before it is too late. Your problem is as easy to see as a room full of boxes, obvious to everyone but yourself. Of course you want to criticize Bonnie. She lives in a condo full of boxes. Boxes from Maisie's and J.B. Penny. Big boxes, with stripes. You can't help yourself. Bonnie is the first person to stand up to Mary Worth since Lynn Griffin told Mary to take a hike. I hope she has better luck at helping Mary change her ways.
Well, gee, Mary... Thanks. Now that you put it that way, I've completely lost my compulsive desires. If only other addicts would stop and consider what they might lose if they continue to act out, the world would be free of problems forever.
I think Bonnie speaks for the entire Charterstone residency when she says, "Don't judge me, Mary."