Mary Worth 3652

Classic Fortune Cookie: If you wear your Rolex in the woods, you'll wonder what time it is at home.

Mary Worth 3651

As the parent of a Barbizon alum, I don't know which I find more pathetic, Drew's obsessive validation; the fact that Ashlee brought only ONE costume to a photo shoot; or acknowledging that I'm the father of a Barbizon alum.

Mary Worth 3650

Sometimes words are unnecessary.

Mary Worth 3649

"Give me more! Give me more of that blonde Minnehaha scratching her back on a shagbark hickory tree! This will really offend the libtards!"

Mary Worth 3648

And if you don't make it happen, Drew, it will be years before anyone finds your body.

Mary Worth 3647

Oh... it's all about opposites attract. Gotcha. Who do these two think Drew is? As long as I can remember, Drew has been an obnoxious, self-centered womanizer. Not some choirboy. Yes, he's always lived with his dad. But Old Drew was always a cad. And I liked him better than New Drew.

Mary Worth 3646

I think you're right, Jeff. In fact, I think they're playing doctor right now.

Mary Worth 3645

"Oh, Shauna..." I miss her already, and I haven't even met her.

I really wanted to blog yesterday, but had to catch a 6:30 AM bus and couldn't get signed in to my account properly on my phone. Like all of you, I was so disappointed that while Drew was dating Shauna, we were stuck with Eve Lorde and Saul.

Mary Worth 3644

The watermelon doesn't fall very far from the tree.

Mary Worth 3643

RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR! Water slap! Water slap! WINNNNND RUSH! "...Friend of Drews..." RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR! Water slap! Water slap! "What?" WINNNNND RUSH! RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR! "Speak louder! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Water slap! WINNNNND RUSH! RRROOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR!

Mary Worth 3642

So, Ashlee's mild flirtatious have now become painfully overt. You better get another cup of coffee, Mary. This level of meddling will require much more caffeine than that.

Mary Worth 3641

Underneath my good looks, brains, and trust fund, I'm just an average guy. I'm also almost 40 and still live with my dad.

Mary Worth 3640

This has turned out to be a great second date. First Date: He gets her fired for fraternization. Second date: She shows up at his work screaming and cursing. This relationship will no doubt blossom into something wonderful.

Mary Worth 3639

Either Ashlee gets "hangry" when she gets hungry, or Drew slipped a serious sedative in that drink.

Mary Worth 3638

Uh, Drew... she just barged into your workplace and called you a %$#@! in front of your co-workers and Mary Worth. Is this really someone you want to spend time with? I mean, think of all the meddling that's coming.

Mary Worth 3637

Even though Drew's mother is dead, at least he has Mary Worth to scowl at his girlfriend.

Mary Worth 3636

Drew suddenly realizes that he put on his baby blue pajamas instead of his labcoat.

Mary Worth 3635

Drew, the kids today don't listen to their voice mail. You're going to have to text and drive. Just don't run over any of your garden gnomes as you wind down your mile-long driveway.

Mary Worth 3634

Put down your compact, Drew, and answer the phone.

Mary Worth 3633

"It's my day off! I could be photographing bluebirds on a branch instead!"

"I keep forgetting how irresistable I am to females."

Mary Worth 3632

Has Drew Cory finally found his Toby Cameron?

Mary Worth 3631

Is Mlle. Binoche reading this blog? Because if she is ... picture this: My Instagram DMs, my Facebook Messages, my Gmail as an inbox... and like a beautiful Francophony, her fan letter emerges!