Mary Worth 2623

Citizen Scottie McW rightfully accused me of abandoning ship yesterday. It was heartbreaking to be unable to post on such an historic day... So I'm reprinting yesterday's panel with Scottie's comment:

"I forgot to credit fauxprof too for noticing what an Olympian athletic achievement under pressure Esme pulled off. A full pike, half-twist, reverse grawlix. A unanimous 10 from the judges." - Scottie McV.

Of course, this left us hanging (see what I did?) for 24 hours, wondering what choices Katie might make. This morning, ta-da!

Now they're friends. And they can team up to make Derek's life utter heck.

Mary Worth 2622

This seems to be more than a 'lurch.' Based on the angle of the horizon, that ship is going down.

But given the image below, how far do you think Entertainer Esme will fall? How many times do you think she'll hit something on the way down? Will she splash in the water, or splat on a lower deck? Either way, tonight's Cabaret Showcase has been canceled.

Mary Worth 2621

As the star of the shipboard entertainment, Esme is probably aware of the extensive network of security cameras throughout the vessel. She knows their blind spots. She's hidden the deaths of dozens of wives. I'm starting to worry about Katie.

Mary Worth 2620

Moy and Brigman do it again, establishing an entirely new genre: Comic Noir. Someone is going to commit a murder! My money is on Katie, and she gets away with it, too, knowing that Derek will never turn her in. Or rather, she almost gets away with it. Unfortunately for Katie, Mary Worth is on board and her meddling senses are tingling.

Mary Worth 2618

No... Katie would never suspect a thing. I mean she's only thrown him out of the apartment twice tonight, once for kissing Entertainer Esme. Besides, Derek has too much integrity to cheat on Katie without telling her about it.

Mary Worth 2617

"My roommates and I have been looking for a fourth for Spades."

So, let me see... Katie throws Derek out of their cabin and then wanders up to the designated smoking area on deck 5, port side, where she sees Derek and Entertainer Esme (and nobody else) kissing. In tears, she runs all the way back to their cabin and locks out Derek who has followed her all that way without catching her. Then Derek, with his marital relationship at risk, hikes back to the designated smoking area where Entertainer Esme is smoking another cigarette, holds her, calls her "Beauty," and uses a metaphor of doomed romance, which Entertainer Esme quickly turns sexual.

Being good looking sure comes with a lot of stupidity.

Mary Worth 2615

"But Katie, I like kissing you more! Entertainer Esme tastes like cigarettes!"

Mary Worth 2614

"This isn't what it looks like. What I'm really doing is resisting the urge to smoke cigarettes!"

Mary Worth 2613

This cruise just keeps getting better and better for poor Katie. Kind of puts Derek's smoking into perspective, doesn't it?

Mary Worth 2607

Guys, if you're married, and you've gone out to a show, and you manage to ditch your wife to smoke cigarettes with the star, you're probably okay. But if you start singing romantic 1940's songs from Bing Crosby "Road" movies with her, you've either crossed a line, or you're gay.

Mary Worth 2606

Especially if your friend is a Marlboro cigarette.

I really have no idea what Derek's motives are right now. I know he's struggling with his cigarette addiction and that this cruise has completely stressed him out for some unknown reason. But, seriously, how did he end up in a secluded designated smoking area with Esme? Twice? They never talk, they just look at each other and smoke. I guess the world is different for attractive people.

Good pulls ahead, but Nice hangs in there:

Good: 18
Enjoy: 17
Love: 11
Nice: 7

Mary Worth 2602

This is why there's a five drink minimum.

Mary Worth 2595

Well, Entertainer Esme has been outsmarted by the meddling of Mary Worth, and it probably won't be the last time, either. But maybe if she can get Katie to lean on that rickety wooden rail, she'll get to smoke Pall Mall's with Derek before the day is through.

Mary Worth 2587

Unfotunately, of the thousands of passengers enjoying this port of call, only Katie has to use the bathroom. It will be days before anyone notices she's missing. Things are going just as Entertainer Esme planned.

Mary Worth 2584

I am not certain how Nobel Laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel would feel about being quoted out of context in Mary Worth, but at least he can rest easy knowing that he received no attribution. Except that I just exposed him. Dang. Sorry, Sir Elie.

Mary Worth 2583

Woah, hey! What happened? How did these two end up alone together in the designated smoking area? This is bad, real bad. Derek is already lying to Katie and confiding in Esme the Entertainer. Smoking and flirting. Now if he'll just murder someone, I'm pretty sure Katie will divorce him.

Mary Worth 2582

Because one thing every entertainer knows: They are irreplaceable. I mean, how could they ever find someone else to sing "At Last?"

Mary Worth 2581

What does Entertainer Esme mean by "I can have him?" Does she want to add him to her collection of top-hatted chorus boys? Does she need a "Mr. Allora" in her life to keep her from hurting her back? Or is her tummy brain suggesting something more untoward.

Mary Worth 2580

 

One of Entertainer Esme's best qualities is finding the silver lining in every situation, like  amusing herself at sea by planting seeds of infatuation and then watching the fallout. 

Enjoy: 15
Good:14
Love: 11
Nice: 5 

Mary Worth 2578

 

Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Anything Goes? I had a business trip scheduled to New York City that I had to reschedule because of a funeral. I mistakenly scheduled it for my youngest daughter's twelfth birthday. When I realized my stupid mistake, I called my NYC colleague who suggested that I bring her with me and stay at his place. I had also bought a ticket to see Anything Goes on the original trip. The theatre had a really strict no exchanges policy, but when I called and asked if I could change the date and buy three tickets instead of one, the lady said, "I have three together on the front row side or front row center."  I said, "Center."  

The show starred Sutton Foster (goddess) and Joel Grey (legend). And when Ms. Foster opened with "I Get a Kick Out of You," my long time crush was instantly rekindled. Our daughter sat there with a stuffed animal on her lap, and at the curtain call, when Mr. Grey winked at her, I became a complete fangirl, and couldn't stop fangirling.